


i give you salted earth, crumbling hearths

by okamiwind



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Found Family, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Infertility, M/M, Minor Character Death, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-07-31 09:56:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 104,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okamiwind/pseuds/okamiwind
Summary: the cradle night is one of supreme import within the pack's tradition. it is their duty to the pack. be fruitful, multiply under the crescent moon.





	1. two visits to the listener

Baekhyun has lived for six summers when he’s brought to the Listener for his first visit. He struggles against his father’s hold on his hand, tries to wiggle away from it. 

It is a tremendously cold night in the necrotic-blue heart of winter, and he is wrapped in his finest furs. His mother brushed them out with care until the fox fur shone like amber. He looks handsome in it, he thinks, but that's beside the point. 

“I don’t want to go,” Baekhyun says. “I want to go play in the field with Chanyeol and Sehun, like Mother promised I could. She said I could stay up very late and that I could go with them to the river to look for the duskeels, and—” 

“She promised _after_ your visit,” his father says. “Now quit your squirming, or she’ll hear of it. I guarantee you there’ll be no playing then, pup.” 

The words work their magic, and Baekhyun goes still. He knows that if she hears he’s been a naughty, willful wolf, he will probably take on more chores come the dawn. He already has to scrub the pots clean every night. What more torture could they lay at his feet? He shudders as he thinks of the possibilities. 

He stills in his father’s grasp, sufficiently scolded, and they walk over to the hut where the Listener lives. It is a straw-thicket house, the long strips of gold braided strong, glued together with mud that has hardened with time over the rickety wooden frame. Every time Baekhyun looks upon it, he wonders how it has yet to come down. It looks so fragile, as if a strong wind would blow it over. 

But the hut of the Listener stands strong, has stood strong for two hundred years, or so his father tells him. Gales howl by them, white and silvery-blue, and Baekhyun feels colder as he looks at the markings upon the red cloth curtain acting as a door. The marks of white paint are strangely simple, as if daubed with a finger, but they are also strangely complex too, swirling and jutting and altogether quite foreign to Baekhyun’s eyes. 

The curtain winks in the wind, and Baekhyun’s father stands next to it, peeling it open as if peeling the skin from a fruit, revealing a warm orange light, pulsing in the navy night. 

Baekhyun is overwhelmed by the scents that waft out, oils scented with eucalyptus, lavender and sweet orange. It is a strange combination, and it makes him dizzy, eyes struggling to focus as he looks up to his father. 

“Go on through,” he says. “I will wait for you here.” 

“Can’t you come with me?” Baekhyun asks, needling as best he can. “You know she doesn’t like me.” 

Baekhyun’s father smiles, and it is a basic comfort, one that he performs for thunderstorms that crackle in the blackberry sky, for nightmares of slithering, skittering monsters crawling from shadows. It does not work for supreme fears, like the fear of the Listener’s cold white eyes looking into his own. 

“She is the Listener,” Baekhyun’s father tells him. “She doesn’t like or dislike anyone. She only listens.” 

“Please.” He walks forward, pulls the soft pelt wrapped around his father. “Please, I promise I won’t ask you or Mother for anything else. Not even seconds at supper. Please, just… don’t make me go alone.” 

His father lets the curtain go from his hand, lowers himself to a knee before Baekhyun. He takes his face in a work-rough hand, and Baekhyun shuts his eyes, wills himself not to cry. He’s always saying that he is growing, that he is very nearly a man. It is time to prove it. _Don’t cry,_ he thinks. _Whatever you do, don’t cry._

“It is the way of our people,” his father’s baritone sings, soft, gentle. “And when you’re finished, you won’t know why you feared it so much in the first place.” 

Baekhyun opens his eyes, sure that his fear shows as his vision goes cloudy. “Do you swear it?” He blinks the wetness away. “Do you swear I’ve nothing to fear?” 

“My son.” He strokes a thumb along Baekhyun’s cheek, brushes away the tear that falls. “I swear it to you.” Baekhyun sniffs heartily, and he nods. His father stands, brushing Baekhyun’s hair back and out of his face. He reaches over, takes the curtain in hand once more. “Go on, my child. She waits for you.” 

Baekhyun slowly crosses the threshold, his breath held tight in his throat. 

The scent of the oils is even more overwhelming than before, and as he looks around, he is struck dumb. 

The hut is beautiful, utterly so. The main room, as circular as the moon herself, sits low in the earth, and he steps down into the pit of the room. The Listener sits there before a small fire on a plush red pillow, long grey hair braided and stuck with sprigs of moonflowers, with triplets of white winterberries. She looks forward, milky-white eyes staring nowhere in particular, and she says nothing, so Baekhyun continues to look around. 

Large tapestries are hung from the wood support beams along the outer edge of the hut, all blood red and painted with the same white marks as the curtain leading him inside. Weavings hang from the ceiling, bast-fibre ropes dyed red, white, and purple, knotted and braided in intricate patterns. Tallow-dip candles sit in wooden bowls filled with sand, and they pour out shivering, shaking light. Baekhyun turns in a circle, looks at the flames, trying to count them all as he looks to the ceiling, to the circle cut there where the smoke pours out into the night. 

“Come now.” 

Baekhyun is shocked by the pretty sound, and he looks, sees the Listener with an ugly smile on her old face. She is wrinkled, and he thinks she must be three hundred years old, maybe older. Maybe higher than he can even count. 

“Come,” she says a second time, and she gestures to the white pillow sitting on the opposite side of the fire. “Let us talk, Baekhyun.” 

He trembles as he walks forward, thinking of all the times he’s seen her outside the hut. She always watches him with a grim face, unsmiling and unwelcoming. Despite the warmth, despite her smile, despite the fact that everyone _told him_ he must come, he still does not feel welcome. Does not feel like this is part of his home. 

Baekhyun steps down into the sunken pit of the room as the Listener pokes at the fire, makes the flickering yellow sparks spring forth from the red flame, climbing towards the ceiling. He folds his legs like she folds hers as he sits in front of her, just the fire between them. 

He waits, tears in his eyes. 

“Do not fear me, child,” she says softly. “I will do you no harm.” 

Baekhyun cannot help himself, can’t help the words that pour from his lips. “_Do you swear it?_” He fidgets. “I mean, can you swear such a thing?” 

The Listener laughs, a birdlike noise that sticks in his spine. 

“I swear it,” she says. “By the moon herself, I swear it to you. No harm shall befall you in this sacred place, my sweet child.” He frowns, unsure. “You doubt me still?” 

“How do I know if you’re telling the truth?” Baekhyun asks, narrowing his eyes on hers, so white that he cannot see any darkness there at all. “How do I know you aren’t fibbing?” 

She laughs again, just as sweetly, and he wonders how such an ugly old lady could have such a pretty voice. 

“You cannot know,” the Listener says. “But you must trust. You must believe.” 

Baekhyun has never been much for trusting or believing, but he tries his very best. This Listener, she does not seem too bad after all. Perhaps his father was right all along. 

“Ah.” She sighs happily, a small smile on her wrinkled lips. “There. I feel it in you. A small step is still a step, as long as it is forward.” She nods her head towards him with closed eyes. “I thank you, Baekhyun.” 

“Y-You’re quite welcome,” he answers, still unsure of what the purpose of such a visit is. “S-Shall I get us something to drink?” He hasn’t forgotten his manners, and even if she scares him, he still wants to make a good impression. 

“Scared that your mother will hear if you don’t fetch an elder tea?” she smiles wryly. “No, child, I am quite all right. Though if you desire, you may fetch the kettle for yourself.” 

He shakes his head _no_, but then, unsure if the Listener is blind, he says aloud, “No, I… I’m fine.” 

She smiles, and she waits. 

Baekhyun fidgets more. He’s always had a problem sitting still, something that drives his mother and father crazy, and though he makes a concerted effort to stop, nervousness gives him tremors. 

“You are eager to begin,” she says. “You want to get this over with so you can begone from this place.” 

“N-No, I—” 

“You do not need to hide your heart from me, Baekhyun,” the Listener says. “Do away with the clouds so that an old woman might feel the sun.” He doesn’t understand her words, but he mashes his lips together with a nod. “That’s a good pup.” She smiles at him. “Oh, Baekhyun. I have watched you, child.” 

“I… I know,” he says, because he can feel her cold blind eyes on him, could always feel them on him so long as he’s been able to feel. “I don’t know why, but I knew you were watching.” 

She leans forward, her face ghostly as the fire licks the air. 

“You have a spirited heart, little one,” she says. “Everything about you is ripe with life. You were bred of fire and of moonlight, and you are special, though I cannot say for certain why.” 

He swells with pride, hearing the words that she lays on his head like a crown of flowers. They sit along his shoulders, and he straightens his back, sitting up straighter.

The Listener reaches beside her, three baked clay pots resting on the woven burlap rug. The first is red, the second purple, the third white. 

“The colors,” she says. And she reaches into the first pot, grabs a pinch of red powder that Baekhyun’s never seen before. “Red. For blood and life and bursting berries, puppies that scream into the world with fire at their feet.” 

She throws the red powder into the flame, and Baekhyun’s eyes go wide as the fire roars into a bright, cherry red column, screaming through the ceiling. He is too scared to move as the fire grows, but just when Baekhyun thinks the fire will never stop, when it will consume the both of them and then the rest of the hut, the vermilion fades, the fire shrinks, and the waving red fingers of smoke float softly into the open night. 

“W-What—” 

She taps her fingers against her lips, and he falls silent, deadly silent. 

“The purple,” the Listener smiles, and when Baekhyun looks to her hands, the first pot has been covered, the second undone, the purple powder between her fingers. “For bruises, for wealth, for flowers that dry in life’s summers. For the mysteries of the world that unfold as legs stretch long.” 

The purple powder is thrown to the fires, and Baekhyun braces for it, but the purple does not thunder as the red had. No, the purple flames curl and twist, a dance for him and the Listener. At first, it looks joyous, looks like a festival. Happy and lively. It looks like _music_, Baekhyun thinks foolishly.

And then, for a second split on the edge of a knife, Baekhyun sees a face in the smoke. Before he can register it, before he can figure out who the face in the purple smoke is, the face recedes. 

The purple fire throbs like a beating heart, but the pounding slows to a stop, a terrible, plodding stop. It is a moment full of despair, one that sits sour in his stomach the way illness does. 

When he meets the eyes of the Listener, her eyes are watery and clear, eyes warm brown and sorrowful. He wants to ask a thousand questions and one. _What does it mean? What could it possibly mean?_

He stays silent as she weeps, tears soaking the red pillow. 

“The white,” she cries. “For the cradle of birth. For the moon’s smile. For the arms of the sky that welcome us home.” 

She throws a fistful of the white powder into the air carelessly, and it hangs there heavy for a tense moment before it falls to the fire. The fire goes out as soon as the white powder touches it, and Baekhyun knows what the white powder means now. It means death, and she has seen his. The Listener knows. 

The Listener hears the whispers of the moon, and she knows Baekhyun’s end. It made her cry. It made her white eyes go brown like the earth. 

“My child,” she says hoarsely. “The things that you will be asked to overcome… the sad destinies that call your name…” 

A cry jumps into his mouth, but he swallows it, the water just barely hanging in his eyes.

“Can you please tell me?” Baekhyun asks. “Can you tell me what you saw? Please, I swear I won’t tell it to anyone. Please, Lady. Please, tell me.” 

“Fates may change.” She shakes her head, tears falling down her mottled face, and when she opens her eyes, Baekhyun sees that they have gone white once more. “There are many paths you may wander down, Baekhyun. The ground is beaten and soft. It was meant for you to know when the moon decides. When she tells me the time is right.” 

“Please.” He weeps openly now, too young to stem the tide. “Please, just tell me how I might… how I might change the moon’s mind. I promise I’ll be good. I swear to the moon, Lady, I swear I’ll be a good wolf.” He lifts his arm to his face, snot and tears falling to the fox fur, dulling the shine. “I swear I’ll be a good boy.” 

“Baekhyun, quiet your tears. I’ve no doubt that you will be the best of us,” she says softly. But then, her face goes stony, dignified. “Now away. Our visit is at its end.” 

He stands quickly, falling over himself as he leaps up the steps and out of the hut. He runs home, doesn’t stop running, not even for the cries of his father, not even to run to the fields, to the river to see the duskeels. 

Baekhyun goes home, and he buries himself beneath the furs on his bed, their comforting scent only enough to lull him to sleep once he’s cried himself dry.  
  


☾

  
  
He gasps, sits up straight. He is not six summers any longer. No, ten summers have passed since that visit. Ten summers. He’s practically an adult now. Nearly. He shakes the memories from his head. No sense to remember such things. Not today. 

“Oh, good,” his mother chides. “You’ve finally awoken. I was beginning to think I’d have to throw a bucket of water on you to rouse you.” 

Baekhyun shivers as he remembers the last time he’d been subjected to that particular fate. It was only a few turns prior, and he’d slept nearly until high-sun. 

“I’m up, I’m up. Keep your bucket at bay, woman,” he says with a grin. He throws back the furs, stands with a great stretch, shaking a hand through his knotted hair. “What’s for breakfast?” 

“Nothing, if you don’t go and get yourself washed.” 

She is sitting at the small stove, stirring the contents of a thin-walled clay pot, and from the smell alone, Baekhyun knows that she’s made his favorite: cinnamon-sugar oats. It smells divine. 

She turns back and glares at him. 

“I’m going, I’m going,” Baekhyun says, throwing on a thin shift and grabbing the soap from the cabinet. “Honestly, you’d think that my own _mother_, today of all days—” 

“Ah, just before you go,” she says, hurrying over to sniff at his hair, behind his ears, at the back of his neck, “I will miss the smell of milk on you, my son.”

He shrugs her off with a smile. 

“I’ll smell much better later tonight, I promise you that,” he says, slinging his towel over his shoulder. “Don’t weep too much while I’m gone, Mother.” 

She rolls her eyes at him, and she turns back to her stove, back to fixing breakfast. 

Excitement lines his stomach, one that bleeds red and purple. Today is special. Today he is to have his second visit with the Listener. Today, of course, his sixteenth name day, he is to present.


	2. the moon song

At first, he walks alone. 

The river is not far from the smattering of homes for the hunters and their kin. Both his mother and his father provide for the pack that way, up early and home late. As a pup, he hated it. Now, though, he knows that there is a pride in it. They do so well to beat it into his head: duty over all else. Pack over all else. 

He pads along the soft earth, the path to the water clear. He has traveled this path hundreds of times, maybe a thousand, he thinks. He plods along, lost in thought. He thinks of the Listener, thinks of the red, the purple, and the white. Thinks of his presentation. What he might be. His mother always said he had the fiery passion of an alpha and the gentle kindness of an omega, the choice between the two up to the moon and her fancies. 

Baekhyun isn’t sure what he’d favor. 

He’s been training, of course, and he thinks he’d do well at anything they asked of him, but he cannot pretend like the Cradle Night doesn’t put a spit of fear into him. He scuffs his foot along the dirt, hands hanging limply at his side as he thinks of futures, of responsibilities, of fates that lie ahead. 

Suddenly, someone jumps onto his back, arms around his neck, shocking all the breath out of him. 

“G-Get off!” Baekhyun screeches, knees buckling under the weight before he finds his strength, pushing up and throwing the wolf off of him. 

But Sehun does not fall to the ground, only leaps beside him, hands at his waist. He too has a towel over his shoulder, shaggy blond hair hanging into his pretty face. Baekhyun grimaces. 

“Hello!” Sehun says cheerily. “Are you headed to the river then?” 

Baekhyun narrows his eyes. “Where else would I be going, you simpleton?” He starts to walk again, leaving Sehun behind him to hurry, closing the gap easily. Baekhyun hates being shorter than him now. He still isn’t used to it. 

Sehun hangs his arm over Baekhyun’s shoulders happily, smile boxy and cute. He is still a summer shy of his presentation, and he smells of milk and the sweetly-scented powder they put on the bottoms of the pups to keep away the chafe. He wonders if he ever smelled so thickly of childhood, of too few turns of the earth. Surely not. 

“I came to wish you happy name day, friend,” Sehun says excitedly. “I forgot your present back home. You’ll have to forgive me.” 

There is no present, of course. Sehun says it every name day. He’s too used to being spoiled, and Baekhyun and Chanyeol are too used to spoiling him, the youngest of the three of them. 

They have been friends since they were weaning, spoon-fed mashes of venison and honey. They grew together, did mostly everything together. It was with the Chanyeol and Sehun that Baekhyun first learned to start a fire, first found his wolf, first jumped from the tall, strong maple hanging over the riverbed and nearly broke his ankle when he fell into the water. 

They are his best friends, and he is the oldest among them. They don’t understand his worry about the presentation. They never will, of course. Once they’re due to present, they’ll turn their questions on him. Baekhyun has no one to turn his questions to, not unless he wants to ask his mother. Not likely. 

“Where’s Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks. “Maybe _he_ brought me a present.” 

“Don’t hurt my feelings,” Sehun whines. “Isn’t my good company enough?” 

A crashing sound echoes from the thick wood at both sides, and then, without warning, a dirty Chanyeol steps onto the path, towel tied around his neck, hands behind his back. 

Chanyeol sprouts up like a sapling now, a head taller than Sehun and him. His red hair is longer too, shoulder length and tied in a three-strand braid. He wears his same goofy smile, a look of eagerness that has yet to fade from him. He used to be teased for his ears by the rest of the pups, snooty little things, but once Sehun and Baekhyun threatened them, they stopped for good, and he hasn’t heard another whisper about them since. 

“Hello, boys,” he says to them both, turning to Baekhyun, “happy name day, Baekhyun.” 

“You have my thanks,” Baekhyun says, and he tries to peek behind Chanyeol’s body to see what he’s got in his hands. “Have you brought me a present?” 

“I have,” Chanyeol says happily. “Would you like to see it?” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. 

“Show him already,” Sehun says dryly. “We’re absolutely dying of suspense.” 

Chanyeol frowns as he pulls his hands out from behind his back, closed tightly around… something. Baekhyun waits patiently for all of a second, and then, when it slips past them, he makes to grab for Chanyeol’s hands. 

“Ah, ah, ah,” he tuts. “Ask nicely.” 

Baekhyun stomps his foot, but neither of them budge. Pity. Normally if he threatens them a bit, they’ll cower, but today is his name day. He’d hate to spoil the night. 

“Please?” Baekhyun says sullenly. 

“All right, all right,” Chanyeol says sheepishly, and he opens his hands to reveal a braided buckskin band, a knot at one end, a loop at the other. At the center of the band, there is a single small nugget of raw silver, pierced and looped through the thin buckskin. It is beautiful, it is... so very surprising. He hands it to Baekhyun with a bowed head. “It’s from the both of us, in truth.” 

“_In truth_,” Sehun scoffs as Baekhyun turns the supple leather bracelet around in his hand in awe. “I killed the deer and fleshed it.” 

“_I_ soaked it!” Chanyeol says with a shake of his fist. “_And_ grained it.” 

“And then I brained it!” Sehun says. He turns to Baekhyun. “He hates the braining. He’s got a weak stomach.” 

Baekhyun knows that. Chanyeol has a soft spot for the deer. It makes the gift all the more touching. They managed to work together, put aside everything else, and make something beautiful for him. 

“The point of it is that we traded off tasks, and we tried our best to do something that was worthy of you,” Chanyeol says, and then, he starts to stutter, “b-because you’re so very kind to us, you’ve always been so kind to us, and fiercely protective too. Do you remember when we had that visit? Back five summers past? That Southron boy with the nasally voice tried to tell me I was stupid, and you nearly broke his arm.” 

“We wanted to say thank you, is what he means to say,” Sehun says, cutting off Chanyeol’s rambling. “For all the times that you’ve been a guide to us. And we figured, since today is such a big day, we might make you something nice so that you can remember it.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes water without his permission, and he frowns as he leaps across to wrap his arms around their necks, dragging them into an impassioned hug. 

“Curse you both,” Baekhyun says, throat tight. “How dare you try to make me cry on my own name day?” 

Chanyeol and Sehun shake with laughter as Baekhyun hugs them close, cherishing the scent of the milk and the powder and the childish things he soon leaves behind.  
  


☽

Baekhyun waits all day long. He soaks in the river, washes himself clean, dresses himself in a clean white shift made from bast fibre, and knots the bracelet around his wrist. When he eats his supper, he can barely stomach it, so nervous, so eager. Anticipation is the only friend he knows when the night falls. Sehun and Chanyeol aren’t allowed to follow where he leads, not until it is their time.

The house is dimly lit and quiet when he prepares himself, the crown of daisies placed upon his head. He brushes his hair back from his face, breathes in and breathes out. He will hear good fortunes. He will know good fates. 

He walks away from his home, takes the long walk on his own. 

The moon is high and full in the tepid night, and Baekhyun is six summers old again, walking to the Listener’s for the first time. _No_, he thinks. _No, things are different now. My fate has changed. And Father no longer escorts me. I walk to the Listener on my own. I am my own man. I control my destiny. No one but me._

When he reaches the hut, he sees that it has remain unchanged these ten summers. He parts the red curtain with a cautious hand and steps inside, hit with the same wall of scent: spicy, sweet, deep, and earthy. 

The hut is alive with light, but there is no fire that rests before the Listener this night. The tallow-dip candles are all that keep the place orange and shivering, but they are not their normal yellowy-white. This time, they are dyed red, red like a fresh wound. There are field flowers hung in bundles from the ceiling, dried with the air, and Baekhyun passes them by as he goes to sit on the pillow laid out for him. They’ve been reversed, he notes. He is provided the red, and she sits upon the white. 

He pauses before the pillow. Bows his head to her. She is beautiful, in some way. Old, wrinkled, but beautiful. 

“Baekhyun, it is so good to see you. Please, sit,” she says, and Baekhyun obliges. 

Her hair falls in white waves down her back and her shoulders, and this time, a crown of summer berries rest on her head, dark red, nearly purple. 

“How are you, child?” the Listener asks. “Have you been well since the last time we met?” 

“Y-Yes,” he says. “Yes, I think so.” 

She smiles like she’s heard a joke, and she nods. “You’ve grown well. I hear the whispers throughout the pack, of course. Such an untamed heart, they say. Yearning for the feeling of free wind and running waters. Always ready to quarrel.” 

Baekhyun bows his head sullenly as he thinks of his mistakes. “I’m sorry, my Lady.” He shakes his head. “I bring dishonor to my pack.” 

“No apologies, least of all to me,” she says, a toothy smile wide on her face. “I like a bit of bite in the children.” She closes the smile gently. “Your friends… tell me of the white wolf. And the red.”

Baekhyun folds his hands in his lap, struggles to find the words that normally come so easily to him. “You mean Sehun? And Chanyeol?” He twists his fingers together. “They’re very nice to me. We get along well.” 

“Chanyeol,” the Listener says, “he will present before the end of next winter. What path do you think the moon will clear for him?” 

“I-Is this a test?” Baekhyun asks. 

The Listener laughs, pretty as he remembers, and Baekhyun smiles. 

“No, child, no test.” She sits as still as a great oak tree as she stares at Baekhyun, almost like she’s looking right through him. “Just wondered what you might think.” 

“A-A beta, maybe?” Baekhyun asks. “Maybe omega?” 

She nods, humming. “He has a soft heart. And he is sweet.” She taps her fingertips together in a wave, a sharp arch in her fingers. “But you know that means nothing when it comes to your greater path. Anyone can be anything, even if the pack does not say it is to be so. You are full of possibility. Full of chance.” 

He does not know what to say, so he keeps quiet. The words bring curious tears to his eyes, but he blinks them away in the silence, the burning silence. 

“Do you believe in the greater path, Baekhyun?” the Listener asks quietly. “The astral path? The ladder of stars?” 

“Y-Yes, of course,” Baekhyun says. 

“This isn’t a test, child.” She smirks at him. “I see your heart. I see the doubt in you. I have always seen it.” 

“I… I—” 

“Do you believe?” she asks again. “Let the truth be known.” She looks up to the ceiling, to the moon window. “We’ve not much time for foolery now.” 

“I… I don’t know,” he says. “It all sounds very nice, of course, the path we were meant to follow. That the stars will always help us find our way. That the moon is looking out over us through it all, but…” 

“But?” 

“But I don’t know,” Baekhyun says, a tear slipping down his face. “I’m only sixteen. I don’t know that the path set for me is that path I want to follow. I don’t know that I believe in it at all. What about if the path becomes wrong? What about if I’m not strong enough or smart enough to follow the path? What then?” He looks to his hands. “What if I am a disgrace?” He knits them together, squeezing tight. “What happens when I can’t overcome the sad destinies you said I was meant for?” 

“So you were listening all those years ago,” she laughs. 

The Listener looks to the ceiling, and Baekhyun looks too, with shining eyes and a pain in his throat. _Oh_, he thinks, staring at where the moon creeps overhead. _This is what real beauty is._

“During times of strife, trouble, doubt… this is when we need the path most,” she says, singing to the stars. “When we need to believe that we are capable of anything. Ah, and the time is upon us now, the hour of music.” She looks at him once more, white eyes gleaming. “Baekhyun.” Her voice is deep and musical with purpose. “The moon sings for you. Will you listen to her song?” 

“This night, and all the rest of my nights,” he says carefully, squeezing his eyes shut. He thinks _please, please, please_, though he knows not for what he pleads. 

Her white eyes turn to the ceiling high above them, and he looks too, enamored by the way the moon seems to hang in the sky just for the pair of them, well-framed by the window. 

The light that pours into the room is blue, galactic, and Baekhyun is shocked, delighted by it. It is ethereal light, the glow of eternities and forevers. It feels as soft as eyelashes against your skin, like summer showers and rested mornings. 

“Close your eyes,” she whispers, and he looks at her as she starts to smile, sway from left to right. “Can you hear it? Can you hear the music?” 

Baekhyun hears nothing, but he closes his eyes, tries to listen for the moon song. He hears the croaking of evening toads. He hears the rustling of leaves, the snapping of sticks. He hears the beating wings of moths as they swarm in clouds. Baekhyun struggles, squeezing his eyes shut tighter. He hears so much, but he does not hear the moon. He hears the wicked absence of her song. 

“Do you hear it?” The Listener taunts him, Baekhyun is sure of it. He’s sure that she knows can’t hear anything. “Open your ears and _listen_.” 

“I’m _trying_,” he says, teeth gritted in his mouth, bone grinding against bone. “I can’t—” 

“Don’t!” she says quickly. “Don’t say it.” 

Baekhyun opens his eyes, sees her brown eyes staring back at him, even more ghostly than before. 

“_Listen_.” She whispers, hands by her ears as her eyes flutter shut. “Listen, sweet boy. She is calling for you. She is spinning tales for you.” 

Baekhyun focuses, eyes slipping closed, and he tries, tries, _tries his best_ to listen to the song. It doesn’t work, it will never work, she was _right_ about him. Something bad is meant to happen. Something terrible and awful. He is cursed, despair darkening his doorstep, but then— 

Then he hears the music. It lilts in the air, the whistling of a bird. It is beautiful, happy and sweet. 

His eyes spring open, and she is watching him. Brown eyes. Honey brown. And she smiles, delighted. It is wading in a river, the feeling of soft, wet soil underfoot. It is warm arms encircling you. It is joy. Oh, it is _joy_.

“Baekhyun,” she says, and her voice is different, deeper, rumbling in the Listener’s chest. “My son. Do not fear.” 

“No,” he whispers, and he is surprised to find that it is not a lie. “No, I don’t fear at all.” 

“Oh, it is a joyous night. It is a _most joyous_ night,” she proclaims, voice swelling as she grows louder, howling out to the night. “Our pack has grown thrice under the light of this full moon. The craters and pocks of time are dipped into the soil, filled with the blood of _life_, sweet boy.” She shakes as she speaks, trembling. “You, an omega, yes, you shall carry one child, though you shall gain two in kin.” She closes her eyes happily, the song seeping into her skin like water. “You will be filled with the glowing light of stars. You will tend to this light, a vessel of beauty and wonder, and you will put all the good things of the world into this pup. You will nurse them on honey and wine, on the song of the moon. And they will grow strong. They will grow _strong_ because of you, you who were born of fire. Born of _starlight_.” Her face splits into a smile, teeth like shards of the moon as he eyes fade back to white, her voice slipping into its birdlike prettiness once more. “Oh, Baekhyun. Oh, I see it clearly. She sings of your child. She sings of her beauty. This wolf… black as night. Eyes gold and glimmering. This is the child of the broken sun, sliced in twain and reformed with a line of molten silver. Your child… beautiful… my sweet child, you are blessed. You are ever-blessed.” 

It feels like he is watching a dream, a terribly good dream that he does not want to wake from. _Don’t take it back,_ he thinks. _You promised now. You said I’m ever-blessed in front of the moon herself, so you mustn’t take it away from me now._

The Listener smiles as the moon shines her blue light down on her, a beacon, and her body arches, shaking with effort. It is then that the moon finally passes by the window, and the Listener goes limp, cold, lit only by orange candlelight. 

“A-Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks, momentarily shaken by the sudden lifelessness of her body. “Shall I fetch a healer? Y-You look so… so weak.” 

“Oh, you sweet boy,” she tuts, raising her head with a little laugh, righting the crown of red berries that fell askew on her head. “Fetch the kettle. Let’s share a cup of tea before you run home to tell your parents the good news.” 

Baekhyun smiles, and she returns it, wider even than his. 

Good fortune for one wolf is good fortune for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends! happy to see you all once more, i hope it isnt too annoying to see me updating after approximately [checks watch] ten minutes! 
> 
> i have to confess, i love writing this way. just absolute balls to the wall with one story, write it until its finished. it's always so much fun to see your reactions. it makes my life so much more fun tbh. i hope you enjoyed this part. thank you, as always, to [liz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pageandpetals/pseuds/pageandpetals) for betaing this and always helping me make things much better lkjasdlkj she is the best. 
> 
> anyway chapter 3 will probably be up sometime next week when im on vacation ^^ until then, please have some very good days/nights, eat lots of good food, and be well, my friends. if you wanna talk, whether its about this story or about something completely different, you know where to find me! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	3. absent of water

When autumn starts breaking into cold, Chanyeol’s name day sweeps in with falling red leaves. He is nervous for the presentation, but Baekhyun and Sehun make a buckskin bracelet together for him to match the one made for Baekhyun’s, and once it’s tied around his wrist, he seems to calm, eyes wet with emotion. 

It is not long after the moon rises high in the sky that he comes running from the Listener with a big white smile on his face, and Baekhyun is waiting to hear the news. 

“I’m an omega!” Chanyeol screeches, arms waving wildly before he stops just short, pulling Baekhyun up into his arms. “Just like you!” 

And there is a funny comfort in that, having someone you know, cherish, and love follow closely behind where you lead. 

It is not long after Chanyeol’s presentation that Sehun presents too, the same bracelet around his wrist, and to the same end: the three of them together, a pack within a pack as Baekhyun’s eighteenth name day creeps ever closer. 

It’s almost as if it was always meant to be that way, him, Chanyeol, and Sehun together. They are near inseparable during training, anticipating their induction into the pack proper, and they always sit close together, their cushions and chairs always in a line.

“It’s best this way,” Sehun says, and they work on weaving this morning, their small looms tucked neatly between their legs. “I’d hate to have to pick one of the two of you for Cradle Night.” 

A little shiver runs down Baekhyun’s spine when he thinks about it. The moon always has a white eye open, but on Cradle Night, she blinks, turns her back to give them a moment of privacy. Some things are best done in the dark. 

Chanyeol looks between them, though. “I wouldn’t mind bedding one of you.” He grins. “Or both of you.” 

Baekhyun and Sehun groan in unison, and Baekhyun tries not to imagine it. It would be too strange. He’s seen them naked hundreds of times, maybe thousands of times, but he couldn’t imagine looking at them with any sort of heat, with any sort of inciting arousal. He’s known them since they were all pups, for goodness sake. 

He looks out the window, ignoring his work. The flowers bloom in the spring, and he is seventeen summers. So close to his official initiation that he can almost taste it, and he’s got to start thinking about such things. Potential mates. Potential wolves to share the night with. _Alphas_. 

Cradle Night is tradition, of course, and its story was passed down in legend and song. There are dozens of packs, north, south, east, and west, and they used to war over territories, over waters and the fields those waters nurtured. Their numbers dwindled, all of them did, but Baekhyun’s pack was hit with an illness, a sweating sickness. Some of his ancestors woke with a sheen on their brow, but by the time the moon gave way to the sun, they were gone, climbing the great ladder of stars to meet the moon once more. 

From then on, it became a responsibility for those of age to bring pups into the world, to ensure the survival of the pack. And so the leaders, the great alphas, betas, and omegas with minds turned towards the future, devised the Cradle Night. 

It is more a formality than anything else now. The pack grows strong, the days of the sweating sickness long forgotten, dozens of little boys and girls running around with dirty feet and wide smiles. There are more than a hundred of them, maybe more than two hundred, so while the Cradle Night might have begun as a duty, an honor, it has now become much more about… about _romance_. 

“Do you think you’d rather have a boy or a girl?” Chanyeol asks. 

He shifts his eyes forward, making sure they aren’t caught as they talk amongst themselves. Luckily, the wolf running the weaving class that morning is aiding a girl three summers younger than them, crouched beside her across the room. 

Sehun deftly works his fingers as he shrugs. “Doesn’t matter to much to me. Do you care much about such things?” 

“Don’t know yet,” Chanyeol says with a shiver, and Baekhyun smirks. “Perhaps a girl for me. The other option can be so… intimidating.” 

“You’ve got one between your legs, you know,” Baekhyun says. “It shouldn’t be _that_ intimidating, given how much you play with yourself.” 

Sehun snorts, and Chanyeol tosses his loom aside momentarily to smack him for it. 

“The _knot_, though,” Chanyeol says, and he grimaces. “I mean, how’s that supposed to fit?” 

Baekhyun gives another shrug with Sehun mirroring him, and Chanyeol huffs as he picks his weaving back up, angrily stitching. 

“I feel like I’m the only one concerned about such things,” Chanyeol says. “I’m the only _practical_ one.” 

“Quite right, very practical,” Sehun says, eyes on his work with a bit of a smile on his face, “spending our precious time talking about—” 

“Boys,” the teacher scolds from the front of the cabin. “Enough chatter amongst yourselves.” 

“Yes, sir,” the chime in unison, and they get back to work without another word of knots.  
  


☽

Their hunting class is always his favorite, but Baekhyun’s body aches after a long day of it. After lessons, they are set loose in the wood, free to scare away as much game as they like. The younger wolves, they’ve yet to learn how to quiet their steps, how to mask their scents. He can smell them a mile away, all milk and honey. But if Baekhyun focuses, if he can make his mind go silent, he can make himself as scentless as straw.

That afternoon, he manages to shoot three squirrels with his bow, freshly crafted with the finest wood from an osage orange tree, and he feels like the size is perfect for him now. Once upon a time, he insisted on using a bigger bow with too heavy a draw weight, feeling that he would almost certainly grow into it. Both Sehun and Chanyeol were using the bigger, tighter bows, and there was nothing he wanted less than to be left behind. 

Now, however… he finds it is a less taxing experience with an instrument that fits him, fits to his strengths. He is clever with it, manages to soar now that he’s found what works for him. The forest is silent now, peaceful, and he lets his mind go blank as he walks back, joining Chanyeol and Sehun on the way to the butchering hut in the middle of the rolling emerald hills. 

The team of wolves butchering that afternoon have not yet left, and the hut is thick with the scent of blood, so with three bows of their bodies, one, two, three in quick succession, the trio of them lay their kills in front of the workers, getting bows in return. 

The sun starts to set in the sky, scarlet and violet, and Baekhyun listens as they talk about their plans for the evening: bathing in the river after a quick meal, and then perhaps sneaking off to see about Sehun’s stash of honey wine. His mother helps tend to the bees, and his father is an expert wine maker, so he’s always got bottles hidden away. 

But for some reason, Baekhyun decides to turn in early that evening. 

“What do you mean?” Sehun asks, furrowing his brow with a pout. “You never turn down honey wine.” 

“I’m just not feeling very well,” Baekhyun says. “I feel like I… like I ought to go home.” 

Chanyeol rests his hand against Baekhyun’s forehead, studying him. 

“You aren’t hot. Are you sure you aren’t just getting sick of us?” 

“And what if I am?” Baekhyun taunts. “It’s high time I found some new individuals to hang around with.” He puts his hands on his waist with a smile. “I can’t be hanging around with puppies much longer, not once I’m officially a member of the pack. I need some suitable wolves as friends.” 

Sehun throws his head back and laughs before he sharply kicks dirt onto Baekhyun’s feet. “Go on then. Go find them.” He turns away, starts to walk in the general direction of home, but once he gets that far, he spins back around. “Aren’t you coming?” 

Chanyeol hurries after him, waving to Baekhyun. 

They get across the field before Sehun turns back with another pitiful pout.

“Are you truly not coming?” he shouts. 

“Not tonight,” Baekhyun says. “Next time, I swear.” 

“Piss on you,” Sehun shouts angrily, and he wheels back around, hesitates, and turns back, frowning. “See you tomorrow.” 

Baekhyun smiles, waves. “See you tomorrow!” 

The two of them move farther and farther away until Baekhyun can’t see them anymore, lost in the hills of their packlands. 

Baekhyun wanders back in the other direction towards home, and he pads along slowly, observantly. There is always much to see. As the summer approaches, spring in full swing, the swarms of yellow butterflies sit on the bushes, their wings beating. Baekhyun tries to count them all as he passes, counts maybe fifty before he’s got to keep moving, sweeping across back into the forest. 

It is lush and green, the canopy thick overhead, and Baekhyun tries not to let the magic, the beauty of it ever get lost on him. He wouldn’t ever want to take something so lovely for granted, so he always takes the time to look. It is not a long walk, of course, not until he makes it to the great clearing, the hub of it all. And he sees… he sees the Listener. She is seated by the fire. Alone. 

It is a funny sight, to see her out of the hut. She spends most of her days there, listening to the moon, making sure that the pack knows her word. She does not look like she belongs here, in the wilderness of the forest. She looks as if she was born in the Listener’s hut, born into the rich scents, the spices and the firelight. 

Baekhyun steps closer slowly. Wonders if he should approach. 

In the end, he doesn’t even consciously make the decision. His body pulls him forward, as if guided by some higher spirit, some need to be closer. 

“Good evening,” he says nervously, and he sits next to her on one of the stumps that rest in a ring surrounding the fire. 

“Good evening, Baekhyun,” she says, but her eyes do not move as she continues to stare at the fire. 

It occurs to him then that perhaps he shouldn’t be here, that maybe people aren’t supposed to talk to the Listener. He’s never seen her speaking much to anyone before. Rarely seen her here at all. During festivals, during name day celebrations… she is nowhere to be found. During the first night of the spring hunt, she offers the blessings, but after that, she leaves, recedes back into shadows. It is like that for many of their customs. She comes, she watches, she blesses them all, and she goes… goes back to listen to the moon. 

Baekhyun doesn’t even know her real name. Only knows her as the Listener or as _Lady_. 

“Oh, child,” the Listener says, tutting. “You can speak to me even if you aren’t visiting me.” 

She can practically hear his thoughts, and it is either some magic she possesses or the fact that he wears his emotions on his face. His mother’s said that about him before, once or twice. Perhaps she is right. 

“R-Right,” Baekhyun says, “yes, of course. Sorry, I was being silly.” 

“We’re all a little silly every now and again,” she says, and she finally looks at him with her pretty, unnerving white eyes. “Won’t you sit with me for a while? The sun will set soon.” 

Baekhyun looks around, sees wolves of all ages milling about. He should be going home for supper by now. His parents will be expecting him. Still, there is something that keeps him there, something that ensures that he does not move from his place. 

“It is nearly your name day, is it not?” 

He looks at her, and she smiles at him. 

“Yes,” he says. “Nearly.” 

“You’ll do well,” she tells him with a funny little smile. “The pack grows by one, just as I told you it would.” 

“You said by _three_.” 

“And so it may,” she says, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes, tired of all the riddles. “Have I upset you, then?” 

“N-No,” Baekhyun says quickly, and he sits a little straighter in his seat. “Sorry, I just… I don’t know, that’s how I act with my friends.” 

“Am I your friend?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “Well, if you’d like to be.” 

She laughs, and she looks as frail as a bird when she smiles again. 

“I would like that very much,” she says. “Very much indeed.” 

She coughs, a sharp little thing, and when she pulls her hand back, a spatter of red stains her pale white skin. Baekhyun is alarmed, a gut reaction, and he immediately stands before her. 

“Lady, are you… are you well?” 

“I am not so well,” she says plainly. “I am reaching for the stars, little one.” 

Baekhyun’s stomach drops for reasons unknown. He doesn’t have a particularly strong relationship with her, this Listener, but now that he thinks about it, maybe no one does. Maybe they’re not supposed to. Maybe her life is a lonely one. Maybe her occupation ensured her loneliness. 

“We have good healers,” Baekhyun tells her. “They will help you.” 

“Baekhyun,” and the sound of his name from her lips is jarring, sad when he sees the specks of blood on her teeth before they fade away, “no healer is so good that they can stop the setting of the sun.” 

“But you are not _so_ old.” 

She laughs, her head thrown back, and it is nice to see her in such good spirits, but she coughs again, and this time Baekhyun sees her swallow the blood. His heart aches. There must be something. There must be _something_ for it. 

“I see the thoughts in your mind’s eye, child,” she says. “So you must promise me that you won’t speak of this to anyone. Not to the white wolf or red wolf you play with, nor to your parents or any of the leaders. Do you hear me well? Not a word.” 

“Why not?” Baekhyun asks. “What if someone can help?” 

She turns to him, looking at him with earth-brown eyes, history and legend swimming within her. Their customs, their songs, the music of time… what will they do if they are to lose her? 

“When the time is right,” she says, “I will get the help I need. Does that put your heart at rest, pup?” 

A little leap of affection jolts through Baekhyun’s heart, and he smiles. “Yes, it does.” He pats her knee jovially. “It very much does.” 

“I am glad to hear it.” She grins at him, and he can’t believe that he once thought she was scary or ugly. She is perhaps the most beautiful person he’s ever known. “You know, I’ve never had a friend before.” 

“_What_?” 

She nods. “No one’s ever asked. I've never even considered it.” She looks back to the curling flames. “Though I suppose it is better to have one friend than none.” 

_Yes_, he thinks, _I was right. It must have been a terribly lonely life._

“I’ll be a very good friend,” Baekhyun says. “And I can teach you to be a very good friend as well. After all, I’ve had a load of practice at it.” 

“You speak truly,” she grins. “Then I shall be most grateful for your guidance, friend.” 

She stands suddenly, and Baekhyun is quick to grab for her walking stick, a dark, carved piece of wood that stands taller than either of them, the knotted staff swirling with ancient words. He hands it to her so that she might steady herself, and she takes it, bends her knees. 

He walks her home as the sun falls beneath the trees, and by the time they reach her hut, the light is gone completely. He might get lost on his way back were it not for the fire in the middle of the woods, but thankfully, it manages to guide him home.  
  


☽

Baekhyun changes his morning schedule. Normally, he is left to his own devices by dawn, his parents already hard at work. Normally, he washes on his own, a solitary comfort that helps him shake the sleep. Normally, he eats something simple, oats or eggs or something else easily prepared. Normally, it is then he goes to find Sehun and Chanyeol, exploring and messing about until they are due to report to their first lesson of the day.

The next day, and for all the days following he figures, as soon as he’s finished in the river, he dries himself as thoroughly as he can manage, ties a pocket around his waist, and he walks to the Listener’s. 

He passes a workberry bush, and he lifts several branches to find them dotted with the sweet, blush-colored berries. They are the most delicious of the forest fruits, better than blackberries and the wild plums, but they only bloom for a couple weeks a year, and you’ve got to get them before the birds do. 

Happily, Baekhyun finds them before they are gone, so he grabs them off the bush in handfuls, dropping them into the pocket around his waist. He forages as he walks through the woods, fruits like the soft yellow-fleshed pawpaw and the refreshingly tart mulberries that only sprout in the places where the canopy of the trees overhead goes thin. By the time he reaches the hut, his apron is full of fruit. 

“Lady?” Baekhyun prompts as he stands in front of the curtain. “May I come in?” 

He stands, patient for a response, shifting from foot to foot as he waits, but then, the curtain is pushed aside, the Listener’s face sticking out. 

Her hair is done in a loose, four-strand braid, like she slept with her hair done in such a fashion. She wears a sleeping shift, a simple dress, and she parts the curtain with her staff, a smile on her face. 

“Baekhyun,” she says, eyes slightly widened. “I did not expect you this morning.” 

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, and he gestures to his pocket. “I picked some fruit. I thought you might like to break fast with me.” 

She nods with a bitten smile, and she throws the curtain back entirely, steps aside so that Baekhyun might walk through. 

The hut looks much different in the morning, much less mystical and magical, but still comforting in a basic way that Baekhyun can’t explain. The scent of spiced smoke that prevails during the evening is still there, clings to the fibers of the tapestries, but the air is clearer in the morning. There are only a few candles lit around the darkened outer perimeter, but the lowered center of the room is lit with the bright sun that falls through the moon window. Fresh bundles of flowers are hung from the ceiling to dry, and they are beautiful, still fresh with life. 

The Listener moves to the center of the room, and the fire is out, but she lights it easily, stokes it carefully. He sits beside her, and he empties his apron into a wooden bowl, sets it before her. 

“D-Did you have a restful sleep?” Baekhyun asks, taking a berry, letting the sweetness burst on his tongue. “Are you feeling well this morning?” 

She reaches into the bowl, takes a workberry, and eats it with a small smile. 

“I am feeling very well,” she says. “Thanks to you.” 

Baekhyun smiles, and their fingers brush as they eat from the same bowl. She asks him questions, asks what lessons he is due for in the morning and afternoon, asks how Chanyeol and Sehun are doing. Baekhyun is happy to keep the conversation going, but he can’t say he doesn’t wonder what she will be doing, wonders if he’s allowed to ask. 

But it is the first morning, he tells himself. There is plenty of time to learn. 

After they’ve finished, she walks gingerly to the curtain, holds it open for him. 

“Thank you, sweet boy,” she says with a smile. “The moon shines on you.” 

“A-And on you,” he says, bowing before her before he runs off to the fields, late for his duties.  
  


☽

As the days move on, the world moving ever closer to his name day, he learns more about the Listener, about her childhood. He does not ask, but she seems to intuit when he’s interested, when he wants to know more, so over fried eggs laid and honey-wheat toast, pan-fried tomatoes and sweet lemongrass tea, she tells him about when she was young.

“Oh, it was a long time ago,” she says, coy when she’s got a story that Baekhyun wants to hear. “Are you sure you want to listen to an old lady spin yarns about such things? About packs long past?” 

“Yes!” Baekhyun says eagerly before hurriedly shoving a corner of toast into his mouth, crunching through it as he talks, muffled. “Well, if you want to spin yarns.” 

“Spinning yarns is all I know to do, little one.” She sips from her cup, popping her lips together after. “I was chosen when I had just turned nine summers.” 

“Nine?” 

He tries to conceptualize it, tries to form the image of a young girl in his mind, a pup with lots of life in front of her, so many more turns of the moon to go. He wonders if she smelled the way she smells now, like a flower whose name Baekhyun can’t remember. He wonders if she wore her hair in braid crowns like all the girls do now, whether she let her waved hair flow freely behind her when she ran. Wonders if she liked to run as much as Baekhyun loves it. 

“Nine,” the Listener confirms, and her eyes are misty. “I thought they’d made a mistake.” 

“How did they… how were you picked?” 

“We’re all able to hear her,” she says, and she looks to the sky, so early in the morning that the barest hint of moon in the blue sky is still visible. “Some of us are just able to open our ears to her more.” 

“So you heard every word she says?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Every whisper. And every whisper since,” the Listener says, her expression fond. “It’s just as well. I wasn’t much for hunting, fighting, or anything besides. Not even much of a healer, to be honest with you.” 

She laughs, and he laughs, but it is soon interrupted by a blistering series of coughs that leave her wiping at her mouth with a cloth that Baekhyun supplies her. He winces every time she coughs, the pain unimaginable to him. The worst he’s ever been hurt is when he had a stomach sickness as a child, but even that only lasted a night. 

“You would be a fine healer,” she notes. “You’re good with the sick. A very calming presence. A good scent about you.” 

Baekhyun’s never heard that from anyone before, but again, he likes the way her words feel on his shoulders, so he sits up straighter to hold them up. 

“Oh, I don’t know if healing is my calling,” Baekhyun says. “Have you ever seen my stitching? The master says I’ve got hands like feet.” 

She laughs, and this time, there is no coughing fit, so Baekhyun continues to laugh, throws the rag behind them, forgotten.  
  


☽

A few days later, he sneaks out of tanning when no one is paying him mind, and he runs to grab some of the smoked meat his parents brought home before he is to go by the hut. But when he gets home, his mother is in the doorway, eyeing him warily.

“Aren’t you early?” she tuts. “I feel I’ve not seen you in days, pup.” 

Her scent is judgmental, spicy like a pepper. It stings his nose, makes him want to sneeze. 

“No, I’ve been… well, as you know, my name day is fast approaching, so I’ve been throwing myself into studies,” Baekhyun lies easily. “I want to serve my pack well.” 

Curiously, her scent does not shift into something sweeter, still just as disbelieving as before, full of seeds and hot oil. She folds her arms, cocks her head to the side. 

“A-And so I’ll just be… heading in for a moment,” Baekhyun says, stepping awkwardly to the side before he ducks underneath her arm and in. “Supper will be, when, very soon? Or do I have a moment to wash up beforehand? I’m sure I must—” 

“Baekhyun,” she wheels around, and she narrows her eyes at him. “What are you trying to pull over on me, puppy?” 

“Why, nothing.” 

Silence sits heavy and foul like mold, and his father is somewhere in the corner of room snickering like a fool. Baekhyun could kill him. 

“As if we’re simple,” his mother says, stepping towards him with pursed lips. “As if we don’t know you’re up to something.” 

“I’m not!” he says quickly. “I swear it, you can… you can ask Sehun!” 

She narrows her eyes harder. 

“Chanyeol?” he tries. 

Her eyes practically shut. 

“I swear it!” Baekhyun says. “I’ve just been… I’ve been visiting with the Listener of late.” 

Her expression changes within an instant, her brows shooting up so violently that Baekhyun thinks they might shoot up off her head. 

“The Listener?” she asks, like she’s heard him wrong. “What are y—are you _bothering_ that poor woman?” 

“_No_,” Baekhyun says. “I’m being good. I’m having supper with her tonight.” 

After a moment of deliberation with an unchanging scent, his mother turns sharply, going over to the little oven, and she starts packing up food, sweetcorn salad, smoked venison, and a dish of mixed berry cobbler. She ladles cream over top of it, and she ties up his dishes with cloth, tucking it all into a basket. 

She turns, hands him the basket with a stern look

“If I hear one word about your misbehavior,” she threatens. 

“You won’t!” 

“Baekhyun...” 

“_You won’t!_ I’ll be back after sunset! Bye!” 

He hurriedly runs out of the home, sprinting through the forest as fast as he can until he comes upon the fire, the Listener sitting there patiently on one of the old stumps. He is out of breath by the time he gets there, doubling over as he clings to his stomach, and she giggles softly like the whistling song of a bird. 

“Were you being chased?” she asks, peering around him. “Is there danger afoot?” 

“Piss on you,” Baekhyun curses, finally catching his breath as he sets the basket next to her. “My mother packed our meal.” 

“That was very kind of her,” the Listener says, smiling as Baekhyun begins to pull bowls out for each of them. “I remember when she was a little pup running around with all the wildness you could imagine in her heart. Did I tell you she once nearly broke a boy’s arm over a game of rings?” 

Baekhyun snorts, tries to imagine his mother as anything other than unforgiving of nonsense. 

“Surely you’re mistaken,” Baekhyun says. “You must have mixed her up with another wolf.” 

This time, the Listener snorts, lifting a small piece of the venison to her mouth, chewing it until it's soft to swallow. 

“No, it was your mother.” She grins at him. “Do you think you divined that wild streak in you from beyond? No, I told you once, and I’ll tell you again if I must. You were born of fire.” She laughs heartily. “She only managed to calm once she found your father, and even then, she’s still quite the feisty one, especially on the hunt.” 

Baekhyun’s never thought much about his parents _before_ him. What they were like. Who they were. How he might have changed them. 

“Worry not of such things,” the Listener tells him. “The happiest day of her life was when you were brought into this world, healthy and screaming.” She closes her eyes as if remembering. “When I said the prayer over you and you first opened your eyes, her tears fell like rain.” 

Baekhyun feels himself go strangely misty-eyed at the words, and he blinks quickly, ignoring the way she chuckles at his side.  
  


☽

One sun left before his name day, he is on his way to break fast with her once more. He should have known better, of course. No secrets can last between the three of them.

Sehun and Chanyeol drop silently from a tree, but Chanyeol makes an _oof_ sound as his ankles buckle and he tips over easily. He pops up just as quickly as he fell, though, grinning at Baekhyun. 

“Where are you headed, hm?” Sehun asks, hands on his hips. 

“Yeah, where are you headed?” Chanyeol asks, but from him, it sounds a lot less like an accusation. 

“You’re always running off somewhere these days,” Sehun says. “Why’s that?” 

“Is it because you’re thinking of leaving?” Chanyeol asks, and he throws his arm around Baekhyun’s neck. “Leaving for another pack?” 

Baekhyun scoffs, can’t imagine living anywhere but _here_, anywhere but where he has always lived. 

“No,” he clarifies sharply. “I’ve been visiting with the Listener, if you must know. You nosy pups.” 

“The _Listener_?” Sehun asks, and his mood shifts the way his scent does. He is all soft inside, like cotton or buckskin, even though sometimes he pretends not to be. “Has she called on you?” 

“No,” he clarifies once more. “I just thought… haven’t you ever wondered about her? About how lonely it must be?” If they hadn’t wondered before, they wonder then, their faces going thoughtful, the two of them falling silent as they walk. Before long, he is standing before her hut, and they are staring at him. “What?” 

“Are we allowed in?” Sehun asks. 

“I guess,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders, pushing the curtain out of the way, leading them inside. “Lady.” 

The Listener turns, and she has prepared for the day, a crown of winterberries on her head. She must have a visit later in the evening. 

“Oh, what a surprise,” she says. “The white wolf.” She smiles and bows to Sehun. “And the red.” She does the same to Chanyeol. “Welcome.” 

They both look at Baekhyun as if he’s crazy, but he ignores them, goes to sit around the fire. They follow close behind, and the morning is much the same as any other, save for two new faces in the hut, scents not much different than usual except for a hint of intrigue, the sort that smells like peppermint. They eat potato pancakes that the Listener fries expertly, and they sip cups of white tea sweetened with honey and a squeeze of citrus. Baekhyun and the Listener talk the way they always do, and sometimes, Chanyeol and Sehun interject. 

She walks them from the hut afterwards, touching each of their cheeks fondly in one of her warm hands.

“And you,” she says, turning to Baekhyun. “I will not see you tomorrow, will I? I wish you well.” 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun says, and they walk off, bellies full. 

They do not talk much at the beginning as they walk to their first appointment, a morning lesson with the forge, but once they approach, Sehun nudges him. 

“She’s nice,” he says. 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol agrees. “But you can talk to us, if you need someone to talk to. If you’re worried or… or scared.”

“Yes,” Sehun says. “We’re here for a reason.” 

Baekhyun doesn’t know if that’s true, but he nods, swallows back the tears as they walk into the forge, the smell of hot metal on metal.  
  


☽

His eighteenth turn of the world comes blazing with a fire in his belly. He wakes on the morning of his name day feeling warm, and it only builds as the sun gives way to the early moon.

When they finally come to escort him away from home, it feels as if it’s high noon, sweat sprouting along his brow. _This is why they must call it heat,_ he grins to himself, letting the healer bring him to the cabin. It’s funny at first, something he and Sehun and Chanyeol have joked about since they were old enough to find the humor in it all. It’s all good fun. It is as much to fear as a fish in the river. 

But then, as they approach the cabin, a beta boy’s hand wrapped around his wrist, the heat starts to burn through him, and it doesn’t feel like he thinks it is supposed to feel. 

The beta jumps back, clutching his hand to his chest, looking at Baekhyun with the strangest expression. 

“W-What?” Baekhyun asks. “Is there something wrong?” 

“N-No,” he says. “No, I… you’re feeling very warm, that’s all.” 

“Well, it is called heat,” Baekhyun laughs, finding himself very funny even as he goes a little dizzy, the boy’s face going hazy like the horizon during the summer. 

_He’s barely older than I am_, Baekhyun thinks to himself, staring at the boy’s youthful face, his straight nose, his bright blue eyes. _How funny._

“Are you feeling well?” the boy asks. “Shall I call for another healer?” 

“I’ll be fine,” Baekhyun assures him. “Just show me where to go.” 

The boy opens the door to the cabin, and for a split second, Baekhyun feels much better. It feels strangely cool inside, and the wave of cold hits his face nicely. He shuts his eyes, lets it wash over him, but it goes just as quickly as it came, and the fever sets back in, simmering hard underneath his skin, bubbling and bursting. 

The lodgings are nice, but Baekhyun can hardly focus, the world going messy as he stumbles, grasping for a hold on the door frame just to keep himself upright. 

“O-Oh, no,” the boy says, “here, come, lie down. I’ll run for help.” 

“I’m okay,” Baekhyun tells him, but it’s getting harder and harder to believe, as the heat starts to eat away at him, a pain that leeches life away. “I’m okay, I _swear it_.” 

The boy leads him to the bed, plush and feathered, and Baekhyun strips from his shift, lays his body down inelegantly, flopping to the center with all his energy sapped as though he was a maple tree, all the sweetness leaking out of him. It is a venom, this heat, and it is turning his blood thick and black like tar. 

“Stay here,” the boy says panicked. “Stay here, and… don’t die.” 

“I don’t have much of a choice in the matter,” Baekhyun says weakly, and the boy runs from the cabin with lightning speed just as Baekhyun lets his eyes shut.

Pain is exhausting.  
  


☽

There is a commotion, and it wakes him from a horrible dream. There was something chasing him. Something terrible. It was the sort of unnameable terror that comes without a face or a shape or even a color, but terrifies you just the same, consumes every bit of you. For a moment, he is relieved to leave it behind. But then, he remembers the pain. He remembers what is going on.

He feels much worse than earlier as he stares at the pair standing over him, looking down at his naked body and whispering to themselves. They don’t seem to have noticed him waking, so he takes a moment to acclimate himself. The room is empty save for him and the two healers, and the room smells like rotting water and fear. Baekhyun wipes sweat away from his forehead, and as he tries to sit up, a horrible cramp seizes him, puts him prone once more. 

“You’ve woken,” she says, and she sounds _relieved_, as if it wasn’t a given that he _would_ wake. “How do you feel, Baekhyun?” 

“Hot,” he whispers, and she snorts a laugh. “And, um, my stomach hurts.” 

“Does it?” 

He looks up at her nervously, scared of what his honesty means, and he nods as he bites his lip. 

“May I touch you?” she asks, and he nods again. 

The healer places her hand on his stomach, feels the rumblings within him. He tries to hold his breath, but he can feel the pain striking through him, bolt after bolt, and it makes him want to crumple up into a ball. 

“Oh, moon above,” she whispers before she whips her head behind her, shocking the beta she trains. “Fetch the head healer. _Hurry_, boy.” 

Baekhyun smells the panic in them both, and he lets it rush into him like a vase filling with river water. The boy runs from the cabin once more, a trail of spice in the scent left behind him. He shuts his eyes, tries to calm. _It’s okay,_ he tells himself. _All will be well._

Tense seconds drip down his skin like sweat. He can’t stop the way he shakes. He tries to sit up, but the healer keeps her hand on the low part of his stomach, and just as he’s about to ask her what’s wrong, the old man, a wizened fellow with a patchy grey beard, bursts into the cabin, chest rising and falling with haste. He is wearing only a long shift, sleeping clothes, and Baekhyun groans. 

If they woke him, it must be bad. All is not well. 

The Head Healer touches him, prods him, smells him back behind his ears. He spreads Baekhyun’s legs, touches inside him, and Baekhyun swallows down a cry when his hands come away wet with red. The feeling is uncomfortable, cold, detached, and it makes his heart ache painfully in his chest. What’s gone wrong? What has he done? 

“Stay with him,” the head healer says. “I will send those who can relieve you.” 

He walks from the cabin, and Baekhyun’s body starts to thrum, the reverberations stinging as he winces, face twisted up ugly and cruel.  
  


☽

There is no arousal during his heat. There is no sticky sweetness in his veins. There is a slickness between his legs, but not a kind that feels comfortable or natural. There is nothing sexual about it. There is nothing eager or wanton. There is only pain. It is the only thing he knows. There is only the horrible agony of fever, a tearing, a ripping in his stomach that does not cease. The healers, bless them, they stay with him through it all, taking shifts as the night grows long and dark. They give him different things, teas and tonics and herb-mashes, but he vomits it up, one right after another. He holds nothing down, can taste only the sour bile of his own making.

He prays silently, prays that it passes, prays that he’ll ever be able to feel something besides this sick torture again. He thinks about death, about the escape of it, and suddenly, he understands the need for the mash of black bella berries, the freedom it might give someone who suffers. He tries not to focus on such things. Tries to listen to the calm words and songs from the healers who watch over him. 

It is the endlessness of the night that is the saddest of all, and tears fall from his eyes as the healers pet through his hair, trying to comfort him with their soft hands and their scents of sweet fruit. 

He does not sleep even a wink, but he has never felt relief like the sort when the sun finally rises, eyes stinging in the light. He’s never known himself to have such a disdain for the moon, but she watched as he writhed in pain, in a bed that was meant to smell of flowers and sex instead of blood and labor. 

When the sun breaks gold in the sky, the cramps fade away, and he breathes out, trembling with effort, feeling weaker than ever before, as though he’s just dropped an immense weight from his shoulders after carrying it for miles. 

The healer who watches over him in those final hours has long dark hair in a tight braid down her back, and she smiles at him, quietly joyful. 

“It is over,” she says, warm and motherly as she brushes his hair back from his forehead. “You’ve survived the night.” 

He smiles weakly, happy to have made it, but the happiness is not to last. He breaks fast on bread and water, but nothing has ever tasted sweeter, so he is in high spirits when the head healer visits him, much more put-together in the morning than the night before, but Baekhyun supposes the same could be said for him. 

The healer sits on the bed next to him, takes Baekhyun’s hand in his. 

“What is it?” Baekhyun says, the sinking feeling in his stomach deepening as the man looks at him sadly. 

“I pray you do not hold the lateness such news against me,” he says. “I did not want to upset you during your heat the moon prior.” 

“N-No,” Baekhyun says, “no, it’s all right, just… just tell me what’s the matter. Was it… Was it a sickness? Am I… Am I ill? I feel fine now, I’m sure it was just—” 

“I do not want to prolong your wondering. It seems crueler than the truth,” the healer says, and he squeezes Baekhyun’s hand in his. “It is a rare thing, the fever that took you. The rest of the healers and I, we think it is something like the sweat from so long ago. It has left you… Baekhyun, I am sorry.” 

Baekhyun blinks as tears start to fall down his face, and it all falls together. The fever and the pain and the blood, and all of it… it all falls together. 

“Why are you sorry?” he asks, trying to keep his voice even. “Why?” 

He does not mince words. Does not wrap the fact in a platitude. Does not smile or frown. Says it straight. Words Baekhyun knew he would hear. 

“You are barren.” 

Baekhyun pushes up from the bed, and though his legs are weak, he is well enough to walk. 

“Baekhyun,” the healer says, gentle. “Please, you should… you should rest. You have had quite a long evening. We can talk more on the morrow.” 

Baekhyun does not listen. Every part of him hurts as he runs from the cabin, but he can’t hear the healers shouting after him.  
  


☽

He goes searching for her. He does not search long. He finds her in front of the fire, standing there. Staring at the flames.

“You lied to me,” he says, trembling as she stands there in front of them, eyes calm as if she was looking at the laughing river and not him, angry like a stuck boar. “You _lied_ to me.” 

The remnants of the sweat still sits along the back of his neck. He must stink of it. He should go and wash, he _knows_ he should, but… but this is more important. She said that he would have children. Kin. Two of them, she said. Isn’t that right? Wolves at his side. The daughter of the broken sun, she said. Didn’t she say it? Didn’t she? 

“I never lie,” the Listener says softly, barely more than a whisper. “I cannot lie. I am the holder. The truths of the moon flow through me.” 

“Then the _moon_ lied to you,” he seethes, spitting the words out like venom. Furious tears well at the corners of his eyes, but he brushes them away hastily. “She was _wrong_.” 

“Baekhyun—” 

“No!” Baekhyun shouts, and for the first time, he knows why she always calls him fiery, bred of fire, born of fire. He feels the fires inside him. “No, you can’t say anything to make it better now. You told me a future I’ll never have. You… You ripped it away from me!” 

“Oh, you sweet child,” the Listener says, and her white eyes, haunted and sad, go wheat brown, honey brown. Golden. Shimmering. Her voice is deep and echoing like a well. “You cannot see the breadth of time. You cannot see the honesty of words so deep you could fall down them and never stop falling.” She reaches out, a hand on his cheek, and she is his mother in that moment, his father too. His guardian and his shepherd. “Listen to me well, young wolf. The moon is many things, many nameless things, but she is never wrong.” She smiles sadly. “Never, _ever_ wrong.”

His lip wobbles before he bursts into tears. The Listener pulls him close, cradles him in her arms as if he was no more than a pup. He cries, cries, cries. _She was wrong about me_, he thinks as he weeps. _She was wrong about who I am. There are no fires within me, just the ash left from burned bones._

The Listener holds him until the tears have gone, until the sun dries them all up, and when she pats him on the back, he pulls back from her arms, from the embrace that smells of moonwatcher lilies. The flower of death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...... Apologies. 
> 
> hopefully no one was totally blindsided by this. i wanted to make sure that the tags were explicit abt what this story would be from the very beginning, but i've wanted to write about infertility and how it intersects with found family for quite a while and when this story popped into my tiny stupid brain, i just couldnt stop myself. i hope none of it comes off as insensitive, as i always try my best to be tactful when writing about things like this. im inevitably going to fuck up, as is my nature, but hopefully not so badly that i am irredeemable lkajsdjk 
> 
> ok kljaskljg i hope that wasn't too annoying. 
> 
> sort of a longer one, and i think this will be a more typical length for chapters moving forward. again, i dont have a solid posting schedule, but i hope you're enjoying so far. if you are worried abt following along, pls ,,,,, know that i will finish this. even if no one reads, i will finish it just bc my brain will make me LOL 
> 
> i'm on vacation this week so i'm not sure when the next update will be, but tonally, this will probably be the lowest point in the story, so at least there wont be too much more ,,,, Pure Sadness ljaskj i hope you're all having a good week, i will have one adult beverage for each of you. thanks so much for reading. lemme know if u like it. or if u hate me 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	4. strangers in the wood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: minor character death and referenced death

Baekhyun does not know how to tell anyone, so he doesn’t. He lets the word spread through the pack on its own accord, words passed from the mouth of the river down through tributaries, and he waits until he is sure that everyone knows. It is only then that he finally relaxes into his fate. 

And that is what it is. A relaxation. 

When Sehun and Chanyeol bring him to the river and they fold up their legs on the soft earth, asking if he wants to talk, their hands careful on Baekhyun’s back, he wants none of it. It only reopens wounds. 

He mourned that day, and now the mourning is over. Now, all that is left is the moving on. Stepping forward, that’s all there is to do. There is a path for him, some path that he’s yet to find, but in his heart, he is hopeful. In _some_ part of his heart, he is hopeful. 

He walks near the river most nights after all the rest have gone to sleep, and he stares at what he can see of the moon, wondering what is left of his faith, what’s left of his future. It was so lovely, the one he used to know. 

Under the light of the next full moon, Baekhyun kneels in the clearing by the river, his knees sore. He is the sole wolf to be initiated that moon, and so many eyes weigh heavy on him, on his heart. He is not used to being under so much scrutiny, but he can feel it then. The judgement, no matter how well-meaning.

Torches are lit, and his world again shakes with orange and red, a cold blue pouring from the sky overhead. 

There was a moment, a thin moment but a moment nonetheless, where Baekhyun thought about whether or not he would be cast out from the pack. Left to his own devices. He wondered where he would have gone. He spoke truly when he said that he had never considered leaving. What if they were to force him? They’ve done it before, wolves who had commit unspeakable crimes against the pack thrown into the cold of the unknown. 

He shakes the thought from his head. He’d done nothing wrong. 

Baekhyun tilts his chin up, points it towards the sky, and he stares at the white moon before a woman steps forward, a bowl in her hand. 

It is then that he is anointed, a streak of silvery blue oil across his forehead. The Listener watches, and Baekhyun cannot look away from her, his lids low as his eyes train on hers. She does not look away like some might. She stares into his heart as he is brought into the fold, as the leaders stand over him and watch as he rises to his feet. They wear their best furs, hair neat and braided down their backs. They faded into the background when he was a child, just a fixture of life. Pillars so tall it hurt to stare at the way they stretched to the sky. 

Now, he looks upon them easily. They don’t loom largely anymore. 

“Your lessons do not cease,” one says. Baekhyun looks at her. She is an elder, dark hair streaked with grey, though she is not so old as the Listener. “True wisdom is the knowledge that you have only just begun to learn.” 

Her mouth forms a thin line when she finishes her sentence. 

He wonders if she has trouble saying the words to his face. Baekhyun has learned more in the span of one cycle of the moon than most wolves learn their whole lives. Baekhyun had a silent service for what could have been, wrapped and bound his dreams in a shroud, burned the future and let the ashes settle on his shoulders. 

Another elder addresses him, a man who smells of pine needles and sap. 

“Do you vow to honor and respect the rule of the pack?” he asks, voice deep and reassuring. “Do you vow to always give and take in equal parts, acting not simply for the good of yourself, but for the good of us all?” 

“I do,” Baekhyun says, and he lowers his head, looks down to his bare feet. 

They wait in silence as he lets the oil slip down his face, dripping down the bridge of his nose as he thinks, the scents of the wolves around him noisy in his head. Musk, flowers, earth, wood, honey and fruit and sweet spices. Stupid tears well in his eyes as he desperately attempts to get control of himself, of the way his body rejects these words he would have said readily just a few weeks prior. 

The gentle hand that lifts his chin is soft like old leather, and he stares into the Listener’s eyes, white and brown, shifting back and forth between the two. 

The oil that starts to drip down his cheeks marries a tear, and they glide down his face easily. 

“This is not a time for tears,” she says. “This is a joyous night.” 

She wipes his cheeks clean, but the oil clings to him, streaking him silvery blue when he catches a glimpse of himself in the river. 

They place a crown of moonflowers on his head, and they lead him to the pack hall, Baekhyun’s arm wrapped in the Listener’s. He feels his ankles go weak, but she holds him strong, hand patting over his.  
  


☾

  
  
On initiation nights, there is a great banquet, a feast fit for the occasion. A wolf officially joining the pack, reaching maturity… it used to be few and far between. They celebrated whenever anyone survived to that point. The rarity wanes, but the celebrations, they certainly don’t.

The songs are loud when he enters, the ringing sounds of slit drums kissed with the soprano of whistling flutes, the grating noise of rattlers. 

The tables of food are fuller than Baekhyun has ever seen them before, even at other initiations, and his heart thumps weakly in his chest at the sight. They come together in times of strife. They support one another. He shouldn’t… he shouldn’t have thought so crassly about these people, his family. They would never forsake him, even if he’s unable to ensure the pack’s survival in the most natural way. 

Baekhyun is clapped on the back by dozens, names and faces all as familiar as the lines on the palm of his hand. 

The hall is large enough to fit them all, huge long tables crafted from oak and worked smooth, and bowls filled with sand, studded with tall white tallow candles sit in the middle. It smells like spice, like joy, like home, and Baekhyun tries not to well with tears as he graciously bows in thanks, occasionally reaching up to hold the crown in place on his head. 

He eats as much as he possibly can, as the wolves nearby him keep refilling his plate with smoked meats, soft cheeses, slices of toasted bread glistening with oil and spices. He eats three slices of pie, strawberry and rhubarb and early apricot. His wine is refilled and refilled, a star of anise in his cup that he watches as his eyes go slightly fuzzy with drunkenness. 

Sehun and Chanyeol are invited in at the end of the night, and they help take him home, tucking him into bed with a wet cloth on his forehead. 

“Are you all right?” Chanyeol asks, sitting next to him, pressing the back of his hand against Baekhyun’s cheek. He smells of lemon and jasmine. “Shall I fetch you water?” 

“No,” Baekhyun says, and he pulls his furs tighter to his body. “No, I’m quite well.” He closes his eyes. “Sorry to have burdened you both.” 

Sehun laughs softly, tangles his hand with Baekhyun’s, and the soft waft of his scent, still milky and sweet, like the youth hasn’t washed off him, makes Baekhyun open his eyes. 

“You are no burden to us,” Sehun says. “We have worried for you, these long nights of late.” 

“Ah, worry not,” he hums, shutting his eyes once more. “I am home.”  
  


☾

  
  
Life after initiation is strange. He never realized there would be a transitional period, but in the weeks following his acceptance into the pack, Baekhyun has meetings with the leaders in charge of the various jobs throughout the pack as they try to suss out his best qualities.

“And you’d say your stitching is…?” 

The head healer keeps his head low, like he isn’t quite sure what to say to Baekhyun after bearing such news just a few short weeks ago. Baekhyun does not blame him; he’s sure that it was difficult news to give. Surely, the difficulty is only trumped by the reception of the news. 

Still, it gives Baekhyun no pleasure to see the rest of the wolves treat him so gently. He is the same wolf as before, just as foolish, just as happy. And he wants to go back to normal. He wants it with all his heart. 

“Subpar,” Baekhyun replies. “If you’ve an orange, I can demonstrate, though I’m afraid the endeavor may end with a citrus salad of sorts.” 

The healer marries his hands together with a frown, a little smoke in his scent as if he doesn’t think Baekhyun is taking him seriously. 

“Baekhyun, I—” 

“I assure you,” Baekhyun says, “I am serious. I simply do not think this is my calling. I want… I want to find the work that suits me.” 

The healer sighs with a soft smile, nodding. 

“I know you speak truly,” he says, and he waves his hand towards the door. “Away. I’m sure you have plenty to do. And if not, do work on your stitching. Spare the oranges a twisted fate, boy.”

Baekhyun smiles as he stands, eager as ever to escape.  
  


☾

  
  
The leader of the gatherers is an older woman named Gaeul, staring up at him with warm brown eyes, long brown hair tucked up into a cloth and tied around the back of her head. A few loose strands fall down the side of her face, and her tan skin shines with a clean, scentless sweat when Baekhyun approaches her with a subtle bow in the middle of the sunflower field.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” he says. “My name is Baekhyun, and I’m—”

“I know who you are, Baekhyun,” Gaeul says happily. “I’ve been expecting you.” 

Of course she’s been. Baekhyun has been putting off his meeting with her. He has been to the hunters, the warriors, the healers, the caretakers, the builders, and the weavers, and still, Baekhyun does not feel as though he has succeeded in any one area. He has done well enough in all of them, but… nothing has seemed to fit. Nothing. 

“I am happy to be of assistance to you,” he says, and he watches as she gets to her feet, a wooden bucket full of seedheads before her. “Are you… collecting today, then?” 

She nods, smiles at him. “We stagger the growths so that we might have oil and seeds for as long as we can manage through the winter. Would you like to aid me this morning?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun agrees, and she nods as she takes the rope of the bucket, swinging it beside her where she walks. “You work so late in the day?” 

He stares up at the sun overhead, the heat at its apex for the day. 

“Not usually,” she says. “Only when I feel a call.” She smiles. “I felt as though someone might visit me today, and sure enough, you have.” He bites his lip, looks at the ground. “I spoke to your teacher. He seems to think you’d do well with us in the fields and the forests.” 

For some strange reason, his heart clenches unpleasantly in his chest, and before he can stop himself, he is speaking. 

“Gauel, I... I don’t think I’m meant for this task,” Baekhyun says. “Though you must know, I mean no offense to you.” 

“I take no offense,” Gaeul says. “Pardon the intrusion into your life, Baekhyun, but according to the other leaders, it seems like you have decided that you are not meant for _any_ task.” 

Baekhyun hunches his shoulders over, nearing a cower. 

He stares at the green earth beneath their feet, and he holds a leaf of the sunflower plant between his fingers, playing with it as he struggles to find an excuse. Any excuse. 

“Come,” Gaeul says. “Let’s go to the shed together.” 

He looks up, and she is looking at him, warm brown eyes that remind him of his mother, of the Listener when she speaks with the voice of the moon. 

“Okay,” Baekhyun says, voice tight. 

He follows behind her closely, and he watches as the bucket swings forward and back, forward and back. The rows of the sunflower fields are neatly drawn, and the plants grow so tall that he can’t see over them. He loses all track of time and space as they walk, but after they’ve reached the end of the row, the shed is not far off, sitting just in the distance. Gaeul points at it with a smile, saying “Just there.”

Baekhyun has visited a couple times for lessons, but he’s never been inside. 

They walk to the hut, a quiet and thoughtful moment. Why is he putting off his placement? He doesn’t know. It just feels too big, too incomprehensibly adult. He does not want to lose the freedom of his youth. He doesn’t want to lose the joy of living, and so far, all maturity has given him is sadness. 

She opens the door to the small wooden shed, and Baekhyun is surprised by the size of it. It looks so much bigger on the inside, tables and stools fashioned from oak and camellia trees. There are stacks of baskets and buckets, and large machetes, small knives, and even a few pairs of shears are placed on shelves throughout the cabin. 

Gaeul places the seedheads of the sunflowers on one of the desks, leaves the heads tilted toward the sun. He wonders when the lecture will begin, when she will chastise him for being so selfish and self-absorbed, when she will remind him of his promise to the pack. He disperses his weight unevenly, mostly on his left foot, then mostly on his right, and he waits for her to speak, but when she does, it surprises him. 

“Would you like to help?” she asks, and she rolls up the sleeves of her shift before sitting on one of the stools. “I want to get through them before I head home for the day.” 

“O-Okay,” he says, and he pulls up another stool, sits down next to her. 

She offers him one of the heads, rippling with black and white striped shells, and he takes it, begins to slowly work through it with his thumbs. The seeds come away from the flesh of the flower easily, plenty ripe, and they drop to the table. He collects a little mound of seeds from the first head before taking another, his mind going pleasantly blank as he works. 

“Baekhyun,” Gaeul says quietly. “I do not know the pain you must have endured that night. No one could know, only those who have been through the same.” Her nails make soft scratching sounds against the flower, the seeds falling to the wood. “What I do know is that they worry for you.” 

“Who?” 

She looks at him, and when his gaze meets hers, he is struck by the beauty of her eyes, shining amber in the sun. 

“All of them, of course,” she smiles. “And I know you. I watched you grow from a pup, sprouting up like a little sunflower. I know that you must hate them treating you like you’re something different, something in need of protection.” 

He bristles a bit, turns back to the flower, scrubs at the seeds until they _plunk_ down to the top of the table. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” he says, lips tight. 

“Ah, I beg your forgiveness. I spoke out of turn.” 

She goes back to her work, and she doesn’t say another word, not even once all the flowers are stripped of their seeds. Wordlessly, she uses the thin side of her hand to slide the seeds into a bowl. 

“Thank you for your assistance today, Baekhyun,” she says warmly. “I do hope you’ll come work with us. You’d do well here, I think.” 

“I offer you my thanks,” he says quietly, bowing his head to her. “But… won’t they tell me where I’m to go? Won’t they make—” 

“Make the decision for you?” Gaeul says, lips hinting towards another smile. “No, I’m afraid it’s a choice you must make for yourself.” She hugs the bowl of seeds close to her. “They won’t rush you either. They will give you as much time as you need. It’s up to you.” She nods towards the door, and Baekhyun hurriedly walks across the threshold, the noon sun immediately prickling him with sweat. “I’ve got to get these soaking in salt water. Please excuse me.” 

“Y-Yes,” Baekhyun says, “yes, of course.” 

Gaeul leaves without another word, and Baekhyun feels as though the conversation was cut short, as though more should have been said. He scrambles as he watches her form retreat, and instead of forming any coherent thought, he merely calls her name. 

He watches as she turns, her bowl of seeds tucked neatly her arms. 

“Yes?” she calls back. 

“Will you have me?” he asks, voice trembling with desperation for reasons even he doesn’t know. “May I… May I work with you?” 

Even at a distance, he can see the way her face splits into a pretty smile, the way she nods her assent. At the very least, he thinks, he’s decided on a home.  
  


☾

  
  
He is due to report a bit before sunrise, so he washes in his favorite section of the river without anyone else around, eating a sparse breakfast of oats and honey-sweetened mint tea before he goes to the shed in the middle of the fields.

They are a group of twenty wolves, give or take a few, and they all smell warmly of baked goods, bread and butter, cinnamon-spiced cakes, and fruit pies. He stands at the back of the group as the jobs are handed out. Some are tasked with seeding the fields of crops to be harvested in the upcoming winter, some with menial tasks like weeding and watering, some with canning, pickling, sugaring, and fermentation, while some are sent through the woods and fields with baskets. Baekhyun watches as those last few go out, the sun barely rising over them all. 

Then, it is just him and Gaeul. 

“I thought you were the leader,” Baekhyun says. “What was Yeunggi doing, sending them all out for the morning?” 

“The gatherers are different than many callings,” Gaeul says. “We shift responsibilities between us. It isn’t often that we recognize a sole leader, only the wolf that steps up for the task at hand.” 

“Then what are you still doing here?” Baekhyun asks. “Teaching me?” 

“Yes, I believe that’s precisely what I’m doing.” 

She gives him a happy smile, and despite himself, he returns it. 

“What are we doing today, then?” 

“I believe we’ll be jamming,” she says. “The workberries will not stay around for much longer, and they make the best jam, don’t you think?” 

Baekhyun does think, and he says as much. 

“Perfect. The pack from the southeast is traveling now,” Gaeul says, eyes sparkling. “They’ll be here by the next Cradle Night, I think. We will need plenty for their arrival.” She claps her hands together. “Time to get to work, don’t you think?” 

She nods towards the row of baskets, one held on her hip. 

Baekhyun groans, already missing his days with Chanyeol and Sehun, playing around during lesson time and sneaking out to drink under the full moons. He wishes he were a child still. He wishes his life was different. But there’s nothing to do about that, so he raises his chin, grabs a basket, puts it against his hip, and follows her out of the shed.  
  


☾

  
  
After his first day with the gatherers, he feels emptier than ever. It is tiring work, exhausting work. _Is this all there is for me? Is this it? So many years of this job and then I pass, burned and buried in the earth?_ It is a soulless and sad line of thought, and before he knows it, his feet are carrying him to the Listener’s hut, a nervous hand at the curtain.

The sun has begun to set, the sky warm. He blinks several times before awkwardly calling for her. 

“Lady,” he says. “It’s… It’s me.” 

He waits for her to come to the threshold, but all that greets him is the soft sound of her voice. 

“Come in,” she says. 

A tremble of fear runs through him. Perhaps she’s mad for how he treated her, for the words he spoke. Already, apologies leap into his mouth, but when he parts the curtain and sees her bed-ridden, he hurries to her side. 

“Lady,” he says, worried, the tremble of fear growing to a shake that makes his voice go warbled. “S-Shall I call for a healer?” 

“It is not the time yet,” she says with a little smile. 

“When, then?” Baekhyun says. “Soon?” 

“Soon.” 

He huffs, grabs her hand. 

“Do you remember your promise?” 

“Child, I remember every promise,” she laughs. “Now…,” and she gestures to a pillow nearby, “sit and tell me all about your first day with the gatherers. Did they all treat you kindly? Shall I have a word with any of them? I knew them all when they were young, I know all their secrets.” 

Her concern makes a laugh jump into his throat, and he awkwardly chokes it out. 

“No, no, it was… it was good,” he says. “I think I did well.” 

“Of course you did well, my friend,” she says, and she shuts her eyes as if it takes a great deal of energy to keep them open. “I am glad to hear it. And your friends, how have they been? Chanyeol’s eighteenth name day approaches, does it not? The winter winds are howling in my ears already.”

It has been too long since he met with her, spoke to her this way. He missed her. He truly missed her. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, “he is eager for his heat, the foul thing.” 

It makes her tip her head back into the furs, and he smiles, happy to have her back.  
  


☾

  
  
Slowly, steadily, he settles into his work. It does not happen overnight, but he finds the job peaceful, quiet, and it gives him plenty of time to come to terms with his life. He has always had a fire in him, just as the Listener said, and that fire has not gone out. He has so much to look forward to, so much life ahead of him, just as she said. Friendship, family, his duty to the pack. The possibility of love. It all adds up to an impossible amount.

Still, the threat of his first Cradle Night approaches as the moon begins to wane. He doesn’t know if they can sense the fear in him or if they simply miss him, but Sehun and Chanyeol approach a couple days before. 

Sehun has his hand around the neck of a bottle of honey wine, golden in hue, and Chanyeol is rubbing the back of his neck, letting off a nervous scent, like a lemon set on fire. 

“Hello,” Baekhyun says awkwardly. “Sorry, I’ve been busy of late.” 

“Too busy for your friends?” Sehun jabs. “We’re going to the river for a drink, if you’re not still pretending like you don’t know we exist.” 

He turns on his heel, and it makes Baekhyun smile, the normalcy of Sehun’s tone, his familiar scent trailing behind him as he walks to the water.

“Will you come?” Chanyeol asks. “We’ve missed you loads during lessons.” 

Chanyeol hurries off to follow Sehun, and Baekhyun is left to trail behind them both, meeting them at the water’s edge, the bottle already being passed between them. 

“You look so sullen,” Sehun comments, and he pokes Baekhyun in the cheek once he sits next to him. “Why such a sour wolf?” 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol echoes, dangling his feet into the river. “Why so sour?” 

A funny sort of feeling overwhelms him, like he’s being torn in two. He is happy that they’re treating him the same as they always did, but at the same time, he wants to talk about it. Feels like he’s finally ready. 

“Well, it’s not like I’m short of reasons to be sour.” 

“What, because you started with the gatherers?” Chanyeol asks, head tilted to the side, and Baekhyun can’t decide if he’s just playing dumb or if he’s actually dumb. 

Sehun reaches out to smack him, says “No, fool, it’s because he’s—” 

“Barren,” Baekhyun says with a bitter finality. “You mustn’t be afraid to call it what it is.” 

“_Barren_,” Sehun scoffs, taking a swig from the bottle before passing it to Baekhyun. “As if you’re a field to be sewn.” 

“Isn’t that the way?” Baekhyun says, staring down at his hands knitted around the glass. “An omega’s duty to the pack. Born to be plowed a-and… seeded.” 

They both make a face of disgust, perhaps at the words or perhaps at the suggestion. After all, they too are omegas, and he’s commenting on all their lots in life, not just his own. 

“My apologies,” Baekhyun says. “I don’t know what I’m saying.” 

“No, you don’t,” Sehun says. “But I’m sure it’s because the crescent wanes.” 

Chanyeol bumps his shoulder into Baekhyun’s. “It doesn’t matter.” He smiles at Baekhyun. “We’ll be there for you. We can come here again. We can drink!” 

“N-No, I… I have to get used to it,” Baekhyun says. “Being alone.” 

“You won’t always be alone,” Sehun says, and he shoves his shoulder into Baekhyun’s. “You’re being sour again. _Drink._” 

Baekhyun sputters a little laugh, and he sips from bottle of wine, letting the sweetness slide down the back of his throat, eager to let their stories from class remind him of what’s most important.  
  


☾

  
  
The night before the crescent moon, a cradle of white amidst a sky of black, he goes to her for advice. Guilt has laid itself thick along the inside of him, and he can’t seem to scratch it away, no matter what Sehun and Chanyeol say. He is meant to be _providing_ something, giving just as much as he’s taking, but right now, it feels like he’s just taking, taking, taking. The Cradle Night has been around for as long as they’ve recorded their history, and he… he can’t participate.

He already has tears hanging in his eyes when he enters the hut, but when he sees her, when he sees the white of her skin, when he sees the head healer at her side, he knows that it is the end. 

“W-What’s happening?” 

They look to him, and the head healer stands, crosses to him. 

“Her new moon is nigh,” he says, and he pats Baekhyun on the shoulder. “She is comfortable now. Let her pass in peace. Away. Home with you now, child.” 

Horrified, Baekhyun’s tears fall from his eyes, and he panics. 

“N-No, I… you can’t make me go,” Baekhyun says. “I’ll stay here. You can’t make me leave.” 

The healer stands back from him, observes him, and then looks back to the Listener. 

“Oh, let the poor thing stay,” she whispers. “You will have a hard time convincing him otherwise.” 

The head healer turns to face her completely, and he lowers himself to the ground, forehead pressed to the dirt in a bow before he stands back before her and whispers his thanks. He passes by Baekhyun, exits the hut, and Baekhyun watches the curtains shift in the summer night’s breeze. 

He turns back, stares at her with wide, terrified eyes. He feels the silent tears pour down his face, and he waits, waits for an explanation or a sign that this is all just a dream. 

“I am glad you are here with me,” she says. “Don’t tell him I said so.” 

Baekhyun throws himself at the end of her nest of blankets, the furs tickling him as he cries over her. 

“Child, don’t weep for me,” she says. “Weep for the wolf who takes my place. Weep for the lonely.” She looks peacefully towards the sky. “Your tears are wasted on me. The moon has risen, come to take me home.” 

“Not yet,” he says, and he realizes how childish he sounds, a wolf of full maturity, begging on his knees. “Please, not yet.” 

She laughs, a little coughing sound, and she stares over to the open sky through the moon window. It is a clear night, and Baekhyun can see the beginnings of the crescent, a smirking smile, a cruel thing to taunt him. 

“Don’t blame her,” the Listener says. “Whatever you do, do not harden your heart. Do not let the troubles make it so that you can’t accept the love that presents itself to you.” She turns her beautiful face, wrinkled with time and wisdom, her eyes so full of love. “Take the love you are offered. _Take_ it. Let it soften you.” She shuts her eyes the way she did when the moon song moved her, like it moves her once again. “Let the love in.” 

“I will,” he promises. “I swear I will.” 

“That’s a good boy.” Her smile is sad. “Remember that vow.” 

“I won’t ever forget it.” 

He lets her rest, because after a bit of talking, she starts to struggle for breath. The candles make the room bright, but he feels a shroud slipping over his shoulders, utter darkness, hopelessness filling his chest as he watches her fade. It is a slow thing, a tempered death, and he puts his head to the floor, starts to say as many prayers as he can remember in his head. 

_Carry her and hold her and forgive her the ills. Make her new in the light. Let her heart grow heavy with purpose so that it might always stay full._

He stays there for what feels like forever, and he watches as the moon passes from above the moon window, watches as it blinks away. 

“Baekhyun.” 

He looks up, his eyes red and sore as she stares at him. 

“Y-Yes?” he says. “What is it?” 

“What troubles you?” the Listener says. 

He swallows spit, fresh tears beginning to trace old stains. “I fear I… I fear I may not know the path I’m meant to take now.” He sniffs, holds her hand in his. “With you gone, how will I… how will I know the way?” 

She stares at him, wizened and frail, and she looks like a bird, ready to sprout wings and fly. _Yes,_ he thinks. _Fly away from here so that you can never die._

“You will know it in your heart. You will always feel it,” she says. “Trust your instinct. Trust yourself. And trust in those you love.” 

She coughs heartily, and the blood that she swallows is old and brown. 

“Yes,” he whispers, eager to promise her anything, keep her around, his lips wet with salt. “Yes, I swear I will.” 

He presses his forehead to where their hands meet, and he says another prayer, another, another. 

“Baekhyun,” she says, and he is slow to raise his head to meet her eyes. She wears a beautiful smile, and Baekhyun thinks that she might not be a bird, might be an angel after all. 

“Yes?” he whimpers, desperately trying to return the smile. 

“She will come around,” the Listener says. 

“Sh—_who_?”

“The girl.” She closes her eyes happily, hums, a little rattle in her chest. “She will love you. I see her even now.” Another cough, this one deeper, more resounding, the last great push of life through her wrapped in a peaceful smile. “Oh, sweet boy. They are coming.” 

Baekhyun’s mouth is open to answer her, but then, her breathing slows to a stop, a terrible, shaking stop. 

It is the last thing that she utters, _they are coming_, and her mouth hangs open as Baekhyun cries, the tears soaked into the cloth of the blanket. He cannot seem to quiet the sobbing, doesn’t understand the way it grips him. 

He does not leave her side, not until she is removed from him, her body wrapped and burned, the ashes of her, the memories all scattered in the pit and in the wind.  
  


☾

  
  
It is a long night, and Baekhyun can hardly fall asleep. He spends the first several hours trying to close his eyes, trying to find the rest that never comes. In the end, it reminds him of his first heat, the way he watched the sun come up. The day passes in a haze, mindlessly watering crops in the morning before the worst of the heat hits them. He washes away the tears and the sweat in the river, and he thinks over his meals. Wonders what he is to do now. For every step forward, there is a step back.

Maybe that is his fate. Barren fields and stagnant water. 

The Cradle Night is no place for him, no place for a wolf who cannot bear a child. They don’t know what to do with him, don’t know what to say to him. He watches as the unmated ones pair off, and they try not to let Baekhyun see them watching him. Making sure he’s all right. 

He isn’t all right. He isn’t okay at all right now, even when he thought he would be. He isn’t ready for this. Isn’t ready to face the consequences of his destiny, especially so freshly hurt. 

When he was young, the Cradle Night seemed scary. Seemed impossible and rude. Only once he started thinking of it as romantic, as something special, did it get torn from his hands. 

The large fire pit in the center of their pack roars with life all hours of the night, but he goes there alone that evening. The rest of them are busy, either at home with their kin or in specially built cabins for mating. He sits on one of the stumps, cut from a cherry tree, and he stares at the fire until his eyes go soft and wet, fuzzy. 

There is a sound from the forest at the south, and his head springs up. It is then that he sees a man, an _alpha_, arms full of _something_. 

Immediately, Baekhyun shifts, the wolf jumping out before he can stop it. 

“I mean no harm,” the alpha says from a distance, and once he steps into the light of the bonfire, Baekhyun can tell that he is worried. “I lost the rest of my pack as we were running.” 

The realization hits Baekhyun as he shifts back, rubbing the water from his eyes. _The southeast._

“You have my apologies,” Baekhyun says, tilting his chin to the side in deference before bowing. “I was… you surprised me.” 

“No apologies necessary,” the alpha says, though Baekhyun can’t settle on how old he is. Maybe a bit younger than him, maybe a bit older? He too shows a bit of his neck, and as he approaches, Baekhyun realizes that whatever is in his arms is _writhing_. “I… I got here as quickly as I could, fearing that I would miss them.” 

“They’ve yet to arrive,” Baekhyun tells him. “The leaders said… said by morning.” 

The alpha nods, looks Baekhyun up and down, and Baekhyun takes the same opportunity. His clothes are different than the sort that Baekhyun’s pack wears. He is draped in a robe-like shift, tied at the waist, with nice shoes that fasten around his ankles. He is handsome, with fine, delicate features, his black hair shorn short at the sides, left longer at the top. His scent… his scent is like nothing Baekhyun’s ever smelled before. Salty, but sweet. Deep and complicated. 

“I… My name is Junmyeon,” he offers, and the way he shifts the thing in his arms, Baekhyun can see the wrinkled little face of a child. Junmyeon parts the cover around her, and the smell of milk sweeps into the air. “This is my daughter, Noeul.” 

Baekhyun smiles, even though he wonders. How old is this person to already have a child? Perhaps he just has a soft complexion?

“Baekhyun,” he introduces. “S-Shall I call for one of the leaders? I’m sure that we can accommodate you, if you—” 

“If I could, might I… might I rest here first?” Junmyeon asks, shifting the child in his arms. 

“O-Oh! Yes, yes, of course.” He holds his arm out to the side, offers him a seat around the fire, and there, they sit as Baekhyun struggles for something to say to fill the otherworldly quiet. “We’ve been preparing for the pack visit for weeks now. Everyone is… everyone is so excited. Can I fetch you… water or… or perhaps food?” 

Baekhyun’s formal language is stilted, still unfamiliar to him, and he would hate to ruin the peace and brotherhood between the packs of the land. 

“Oh, no, please. Your hospitality is more than enough. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” He nods towards the fire. “You looked as if you were deep in thought when I arrived.” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “Tonight is… well, there aren’t many wolves around tonight.” He stares up at the crescent moon, and Junmyeon follows his gaze. 

Junmyeon nods knowingly, as if he’s well-versed on the traditions of Baekhyun’s pack. 

“What about you, then?” Junmyeon asks, distinctly informal, and immediately, he gawps, bowing his head. “I can’t believe I’ve just said that. Please. Grant me your forgiveness.” 

Baekhyun laughs, shifting his feet. “It is granted.” Baekhyun’s smile fades. “My participation is… not required.” Junmyeon looks confused, but he probes no further, simply bouncing the child, Noeul in his arms as she starts to fuss. “She sounds as though she needs a feeding. Where is your mate?” 

The pleasant scent that surrounds them burns up in the air as Junmyeon’s face falls, and Baekhyun stumbles over himself trying to offer an apology of his own. 

“Worry not,” Junmyeon says sadly. “I will have to get used to questions such as that.” Baekhyun watches his face shift, go from soft to hard, hard to soft. “My mate passed. During birth.” 

Baekhyun’s stomach plummets. 

“I am… please, I offer you my most sincere apologies,” Baekhyun says solemnly. “May the moon guard them and keep them.” 

“Thank you,” Junmyeon says, and it sounds genuine, though Baekhyun cannot yet tell if Junmyeon is just very good at faking such things. 

It is then that the babe cries out, an ear-splitting wail, and Junmyeon winces. 

“I’ll show you to the caretakers!” Baekhyun offers, standing. “They’ll be able to help!” 

Junmyeon stands, bows again to Baekhyun, and Baekhyun feels his eyes drawn to the bite on the back of Junmyeon’s neck, still red like it hasn’t even had the chance to heal yet. 

“I offer you my thanks yet again, Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says, and he turns his body to the side. “Please, lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, sorry it's been so long! it took a long time for me to recover from my vacation lmao, sometimes its like,,,, u need a vacation to come back from a vacation. anywho, i hope you liked this chapter. i know it's moving slowly, but thats sort of my schtick. very slow, bad writing lmao 
> 
> thanks for reading, tell your friends and loved ones about my story about traumatized wolf boys who find love in dark places. have a wonderful weekend! muah muah muah!!!! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	5. southeastern shores

Baekhyun has known the lead caretaker since he was a pup. 

“Give the child to me,” the lady, Bitna, says sleepily, and she stretches out her arms to take the child. 

Junmyeon looks between the babe and Baekhyun, but when Baekhyun nods encouragingly, he hesitantly offers up the pup to the older wolf. 

Bitna is a sturdy old lady, long greying hair braided down her back, and she nestles the child against her chest. Her face is peaceful as she shushes and rocks the child, even the red-faced puppy screaming in her arms not enough to disturb her. 

“They respond to scents,” Bitna says. “All babes calm from a peaceful scent.” 

Bitna smells like the flower fields, and Baekhyun understands it then, why the flowers remind him so much of when he was young. 

But the puppy does not calm, continues to scream much to Junmyeon’s dismay. 

“I’ll make sure she’s fed, but you,” Bitna says, pointing at Junmyeon, “you need rest. Screaming or not, the child will survive the night. If you stay standing on those weak feet, pup, you may not.” 

Junmyeon bows to her, Noeul still singing her song of agony. 

“Take him to the tents,” Bitna says to Baekhyun. “You know the way, don’t you, puppy?” 

“I’m not a _puppy_,” Baekhyun gripes, and he grabs Junmyeon by the sleeve, pulling him from the hut. Junmyeon looks back over his shoulder. “Worry not. She will take good care of the little one.” 

“I-It’s the first time I’ve been away from her,” Junmyeon says, and Baekhyun stops in his tracks.

“The first time?” Baekhyun asks. “But how old is she?” 

“It has been... oh, I suppose it’s just passed her fifth turn,” Junmyeon says, and even though Baekhyun thinks he means to filter it out, Baekhyun still can hear the sleeplessness in his voice. “It has been a challenge.” 

“Is this the way she always cries?” 

The breath comes hard, his shoulders shaking as he wipes at his face.

“Since the sun set,” Junmyeon says, and Baekhyun understands. 

“I am so sorry,” Baekhyun says. 

Junmyeon looks down to the soil beneath their feet, looks up again, and the light from the fire dances in his watery eyes. 

“I do not mean to inspire pity.” A tear rolls down his face. “It is not my desire to become... _pitiable_.”

Baekhyun feels a kinship with Junmyeon that defies all else. 

“Nor I,” Baekhyun says. “And yet, people pity those they think need it.” 

“What if I don’t want it?” Junmyeon asks. “What if it exhausts me at every turn?” 

“Then you have not yet begun to heal.” 

Junmyeon looks into his eyes, and Baekhyun tries to smile, tries to offer him some comfort that comes without empty words, without pity, but there is so little you can offer someone in their time of need besides presence. 

“Come,” Baekhyun says. “The caregiver was right. You need your rest.” 

The tents erected are on the far west side of their grounds across the common area from where Baekhyun lives. There is a circle of twelve around a great fire, deerskin hides stitched together and held up with thin wooden stakes. Baekhyun stops beside the first, the closest to the center of their camp, and he parts the buckskin, reveals the simple interior: a thin beige bast-fibre sheet covering the dirt floor, lush amber-colored fox furs making it look a bit more homey, a smattering of raw cotton pillows thrown to the head of the tent. There is a bunch of lavender gathered and hung from the convergence of the poles at the top of the tent, the sweet smell of sleep overwhelming. 

“In,” Baekhyun says, and he holds the tent open for Junmyeon to step through. Baekhyun watches as he steps out of his shoes first, laying them at the entrance to the tent before entering, sitting cross-legged in the center. “Rest your head.” 

“I am not a child,” Junmyeon says. 

“No,” Baekhyun agrees. “Perhaps just a stubborn alpha.”

Junmyeon stares at him blankly before lying down, resting his head on one of the plusher pillows, covering himself with a fur. 

“Promise me that you will wake me if there is any trouble.” His eyes slow, as if it all catches up with him at that very moment. “Promise me.” 

“Yes, I swear it.” 

“All right,” Junmyeon whispers, eyes already shut. “Just for a while, then.” 

“Just for a while.” 

Baekhyun lowers the buckskin until he can only see through a sliver of it, the raging orange fire at the center of camp still visible through the wood. He observes Junmyeon until his breathing evens out, until sleep has gripped him. It does not take very long at all, and then, Baekhyun heads back to Bitna’s. 

By the time he arrives, he hopes that the child will have ceased her screams, but she is just as loud as before, the shouts only barely dampened by the wood. Bitna wears just the slightest expression of annoyance, but Baekhyun has known her long enough to know it when he sees it.

“He is resting now,” Baekhyun informs her. “Sh—is she giving you much trouble?” 

“She is tired,” Bitna says, masterfully side-stepping his question, “but she cannot sleep.” 

He sits in front of Bitna who rocks the pup to and fro in her arms, staring in wonder. 

“Is there anything that we can do?” He watches the little red face scream and scream. “Anything I can do?” 

Bitna sniffs the air, wrinkling her nose. “Unlikely, puppy.” She nods towards the door. “Rest now. I will have someone fetch you in the morning, and you can fetch the alpha.” 

“I promised,” Baekhyun says. “I promised... the alpha, I promised him.” 

Bitna rolls her eyes, says, “If you must stay, then at least make yourself useful.” She then nods towards the little kettle. “A cup of mint tea for the both of us. It will be a long night.” 

He obeys her once more, firing the kettle, letting the leaves steep in the water. He watches her try to soothe the child, dancing around the cabin as she holds the pup’s face to her neck. 

Baekhyun drains two cups of tea while Bitna’s tea goes cold, the child wailing.

“_Please_,” Baekhyun says. “I could be of _use_ to you!” 

“What have I done, lady?” Bitna asks the ceiling. “What have I done to deserve _two_ howling pups this eve?” 

“Oh, please, I could help!” 

“And how would you like to help?” Baekhyun stands up, sticking his arms out straight. “You want to _hold_ her?” 

“Well, _you_ aren’t putting her to sleep,” Baekhyun says. Bitna narrows her eyes, purses her lips. “I’m sorry.” 

“Yes, you best be.” 

Reluctantly, she offers the pup to him, to the bed of his arms. It is a strange thing, the strangest feeling in his chest. A child in his arms, on Cradle Night of all nights. The tiny thing, she screams, hollers, yells, but then, when he puts his arm on her back, a hand to hold her head, her stomach against his chest, the scream stops. 

“Oh my,” Bitna says, awed like she’s just seen a day without end. “Oh, well _look_ at _that_.” 

“Has she stopped?” Baekhyun says happily. “Have we bested her?” 

“_Bested her_,” Bitna scoffs. “I ought to ring your neck. Turn ‘round, you silly pup.” 

Baekhyun obeys her, spins around delightedly so that his back is facing her, and he listens for the soft cooing sound that spills out of the caregiver. 

“Her eyes are closing. Her tears are drying.” Baekhyun smiles triumphantly. “Move her. Rock her gently.” 

Baekhyun slowly moves his body, rocking his weight from foot to foot, his hand bracing her as he shushes quietly. 

His heart aches painfully in his chest as he stares down at the little babe in his arms, at the tuft of dark hair on her head, at her long eyelashes and the scratches across her cheek.  
  


☾

  
  
“Baekhyun.” Something jostles him gently. “_Baekhyun_.”

He sniffs awake, immediately confused and squinting at his surroundings. The smells are all wrong. He smells milk. He smells water. 

Baekhyun wakes to Bitna standing over him, staring down at him with her hands on her hips, and slowly, he realizes that his arms are full, that the child clings to him, that the sun rises through the window, that the night has passed. 

“It’s time to return the pup to her father,” Bitna says, and she offers her hands to take the child. Once he passes her to Bitna, he stands, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “You’ve done them a great service, though I’m still not sure how you managed.” 

Baekhyun stretches his arms up above his head before giving her a lazy smile. “Your lack of faith in me is simply astounding.” He holds his arms in a little cradle as she passes the pup back to him, and he smiles down at the baby when she blinks up at him. “Let’s go see your papa, hm?”  
  


☾

  
  
He crosses the camp to the western side, and he is accosted by the bustling noise of the southeast’s arrival. A group of twenty-and-two are milling about the area if Baekhyun’s eyes can be trusted, and they unpack after a long journey, lighting the fire at the center of their ground.

A hand grips Baekhyun by the shoulder, and Baekhyun turns quickly, eyes wide. 

“Baekhyun,” the head hunter says, her scent on fire. “What are you doing? Whose... whose _pup_ is that?” 

“An alpha’s,” Baekhyun says hurriedly, nearly falling over himself in an attempt to explain. “He arrived in the night, from the southeast pack. I only saw him because I was by the fire, because he got lost when they were moving, because—” 

“Baekhyun?” 

They both turn, and Junmyeon is standing there, bleary-eyed, smiling. He crosses to them, and when he sees the puppy, his scent changes, as elated as Baekhyun’s ever smelled. 

“She slept?” Junmyeon asks, mouth hanging open. “Truly? She rested?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, “quite well, even.” 

Junmyeon steps closer, and his scent floods Baekhyun, a cloud of sweetness and salt, the earthy smell of fog. Baekhyun shuts his eyes as Junmyeon smells the child, his hand flat on her little stomach, and he steps back with tears in his eyes. 

“I must offer my apologies,” the head hunter says, bowing his head. “The situation—” 

All of a sudden, Junmyeon’s body bends in half, the raw mark on the back of his neck visible as he bows before them both. 

“The omega,” Junmyeon says, voice tight, “Baekhyun, he brings great honor to your pack. His compassion, his loyalty, his honest heart—” 

“Yes,” the head hunter agrees, eyes on Baekhyun, “yes, we are all very proud of him.” 

Junmyeon stands back up straight, and he looks into Baekhyun’s eyes, looks so deeply that Baekhyun thinks he might be able to see all the way through him, clear down to the silted bottom of his river. _Can he see the way I’ve loved and lost, same as him? Can he see the way I crave love that I don’t deserve?_

Baekhyun folds his arms across his chest, tight to his body. 

“I can see why,” Junmyeon says. “You have my thanks.”  
  


☾

  
  
The visit lasts for a half turn, and each night there is a feast in the southeast’s honor, each grander than the evening before. Such visits are rare, so they spare no expense in the festivities, the flutes and drums filling the hall with music, the mingling wolves filling it with shouting and laughter.

The first night, with the assembly of the southeast at the head of the hall, Baekhyun feels eyes on him as he sits and listens to all the wolves talk about their alliance, about the importance of the packs getting along, keeping harmony. Baekhyun tunes most of it out, and when he scans the faces, he sees Junmyeon, arms wrapped around a starting-to-fuss Noeul, smiling at him. He smiles back, gives a little wave, and listens to the rest of the speech. 

“...the merry-making, for the peace that we’ve made is built upon friendship and compassion for one another, our eyes turned towards the future while we remember our past,” one of the women from Junmyeon’s pack says, bowing out towards the elders of Baekhyun’s pack. “Thank you very much. Now, I see no reason to prolong matters. Let the feast begin.” 

Platters of seared, salt-and-pepper crusted venison steaks, cauliflower potato mashes that glisten with butter, candied parsnips, and sweet spinach salads stretch over the tables, and everyone leaps to fill their plates, but Baekhyun only leaps to his feet, crossing to where Junmyeon and Noeul are sat together. 

“Come now,” Baekhyun says. “There’s room at our table for two more.” 

Junmyeon smiles, looking from side to side, and when one of the couples at his table, a man and a woman with grey hair, nod at him, he gets to his feet. 

Baekhyun leads them back to the table, and Junmyeon sits beside him. 

“I’d like to introduce you to Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, pointing, “and to Sehun. My two best friends.” 

Baekhyun then begins to load Junmyeon’s plate full of food, not forgetting his manners, and Junmyeon bows his head to them both. 

“It’s very nice to meet you both,” Junmyeon says. “Baekhyun is quite the wolf.” 

“That’s one way of putting it,” Sehun says. “He’s told us _loads_ about you.” 

Junmyeon looks to Baekhyun with an entertained smile. “Has he?” Baekhyun keeps his eyes on the peas, ladling them out onto the plate. “Good things or bad?” 

“That’s to be decided,” Sehun says, and then he looks at Noeul. “She’s cute.” 

“She is,” Chanyeol says, and he reaches over the table. “May I hold her?” 

“Just for a while,” Junmyeon says. “She’ll need to be fed soon, I’m trying to get her back on a regular feeding schedule after the travel.” 

Chanyeol coos when he takes the child, but she takes one sniff of him and starts to scream. “No!” He holds her up in front of him, begins to make goofy faces, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes. “Puppies love me, though!” 

It goes on for several minutes until Baekhyun tires of Chanyeol making a fool of himself. 

“Give her here,” Baekhyun grouses before turning to Junmyeon. “You go fetch one of the nurses. I’ll hold her until you get back.” 

By the time he makes it back, an omega nurse in tow, the pup is sound asleep. 

“I think I’ve a gift,” Baekhyun says haughtily. 

“About time you’ve found one,” Sehun comments.  
  


☾

  
  
Around the fire, after the child is put to sleep, Junmyeon introduces them to Minseok.

Minseok is around the same height, smells like cherries and flowers, but he is an alpha, a sweet-smelling one, just like Junmyeon. He sits quietly as Sehun puts Junmyeon’s feet over the fire, question after question like arrows loosed from a bow. 

“What do you do? What’s your purpose?” 

“Purpose,” Baekhyun scoffs. 

“I am a builder,” Junmyeon answers. “I work with wood. And I suppose my purpose is to... to care for my daughter.” 

Baekhyun’s heart pulses, and he wants to reach out, cap Junmyeon on the shoulder. But it is too close. They are not that close yet. 

“And are you well-respected in your pack?” Sehun asks. 

“I believe so?” 

“How old are you?” Sehun asks, eyes critical of Junmyeon. “You look older than us.” 

Baekhyun reaches out to whack Sehun on the shoulder, but the question, no matter how impertinent, does not seem to bother Junmyeon. 

“I am twenty turns,” Junmyeon answers. 

“I’m twenty-one,” Minseok says miserably, arms pillowed over his knees. “In case anyone wanted to know.” 

Chanyeol erupts into a series of snorting laughter, and it catches Minseok’s attention, makes him smile. 

Baekhyun can feel Sehun’s eyes on them, and he shifts away from Junmyeon, puts some distance between them until Sehun looks away.  
  


☾

  
  
The second feast, Noeul is nowhere to be seen. Junmyeon sits beside him with a sigh, and though he looks exhausted, he notes that Junmyeon has been looking much better since the first night he arrived, eyes and skin clearer.

Baekhyun pours Junmyeon’s cup full of water, and worry creeps up him. 

“What’s wrong?” Baekhyun asks. “Is she well?” 

“Your healers are looking at her,” Junmyeon says, and he shakes his head. “Her cries don’t often stop. I wonder if I’m... if it’s me. Not fit to raise her.” 

Baekhyun frowns. “What makes you say that?” He frowns harder. “Who put that in your head?” 

Junmyeon laughs softly. 

“The moon? Or perhaps it was just me.”

“W-Well, stop it!” Baekhyun says. “You’re feeling sorry for yourself. And didn’t you say you didn’t want to be pitied?” 

“I suppose I did,” Junmyeon says. 

“So then stop pitying yourself,” Baekhyun says, and he takes a platter of flat rosemary bread, and he shoves it in front of Junmyeon. “Eat. You need your strength. The pup needs you.” 

Junmyeon smiles softly as he reaches, takes a slice of bread, and Baekhyun is happy when his scent smells sweeter than before.  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun likes Junmyeon, finds it easy to get along with both him and Minseok. Usually, alphas are a mixed bag, he’s found, either too stubborn or so spineless you can walk all over them. Not so with Junmyeon and Minseok, though. They are fun to mess about with, but they never take it too far.

He works in the mornings, Gaeul at his side as he chops rhubarb in preparation for jams. Occasionally, he looks out the window, sees the pack touring the ground, Junmyeon near the back with his babe in his arms. Baekhyun’s heart warms at the sight, even though most times, the child looks to be screaming. Baekhyun snickers, turns back to his work. 

“That alpha,” Gaeul says, and she nods towards the window. “How do you know him?” 

“I only just met him the other day,” Baekhyun says. “Why?” 

“You seem close,” she notes. “That’s all.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. That’s _never_ all, but Gaeul is quiet that way. Baekhyun wishes she would just ask after him. 

At the end of the day, as he’s screwing on the last lid on the last jar of jam, Gaeul pokes her head into the shed. 

“You’ve a visitor,” she says with a smile. “A friend.” 

She leaves, and Baekhyun watches her walk away through the window. He gets up, wipes the sweat away from his forehead, and he walks to the door, sees— 

“Junmyeon!” Baekhyun says. “What are you doing here?” 

“I came to see where you worked,” Junmyeon says. “We toured these parts earlier today, though I did not see you.” 

“I was...,” and Baekhyun gestures back towards the shed. “In.” 

“Of course,” Junmyeon says sheepishly. 

There is an awkward moment of silence, and Baekhyun can’t stand it, so he fills it. 

“Where is Noeul?” 

“Nursing,” Junmyeon says. “She sleeps in the afternoons too. So Minseok and I have nothing to do.” 

Baekhyun looks to the sky, checking the position of the sun. 

“Chanyeol and Sehun should be done with their classes soon,” Baekhyun says, and he dusts his hands off on his apron. “Would you like to go find them?” 

“Is that what you normally do?” Junmyeon asks. 

“Well, when you put it that way—” 

“No! I... I would very much enjoy it if you did not do anything special, just for me,” Junmyeon says. “Just... acting as if we’re normal, treating me like I’m no one tragic. That means quite a bit.” 

It touches a part of Baekhyun that he tries to keep hidden. 

“How else would I treat you?” Baekhyun asks, and he runs off. “Come on, catch up!” 

He shifts, lets the wolf overcome him, and it isn’t long before he feels Junmyeon nipping at his heels. 

The wind feels delicious through his fur, and he turns, yelps as Junmyeon playfully bites at his tail. Junmyeon’s wolf is brindle, streaks of chestnut brown through tawny fur, dark, forest green eyes staring into Baekhyun’s. 

He looks away, huffs and howls to the sun, and before long, they are circling one of the schoolhouse cabins, the windows open to let the light in. 

When he shifts back, Junmyeon’s chest is heaving, and he is smiling brightly, petting Baekhyun on the head. “Shall I go find Minseok? Perhaps, he would like to go to the river with us.” Baekhyun wags his tail, alarmed to find how easily Junmyeon awakens such a reaction in him. 

Baekhyun blinks, shifts back, and Junmyeon snorts as Baekhyun stands up straight, shoulders straight. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, and he looks to the window, sees Chanyeol sticking his head straight through the open window, waving his hand. “I’ll wait for the silly pups. And we’ll meet you there.” 

“All right,” Junmyeon says, and he shifts back to his wolf, trots off, and Baekhyun watches him go.  
  


☾

  
  
“Where are we going?” Sehun whines.

“The river, just as I said,” Baekhyun says, rolling his eyes. 

“Will there be snacks by the river?” Chanyeol asks, running out in front of both of them. “I’m famished after classes.” 

Baekhyun and Sehun groan as they walk through the wood. 

“Do you really need food?” Sehun asks. “It’s not even supper time yet.” 

“I’m still growing,” Chanyeol says. “I’m a growing omega!” 

“You’re nine-and-ten hands high,” Baekhyun says. “How much more growing do you intend to do?” 

“Until I’m as tall as the moon,” Chanyeol says happily. 

“The moon isn’t _tall_ stupid,” Sehun says. 

“She’s taller than you,” Baekhyun argues. 

They come upon the riverbank, settle there, and Sehun sticks his hand behind a large rock, pulls out a bottle of mead. 

“It’s not even supper time,” Chanyeol chides. 

“You wanted a snack,” Sehun says. “Drink some.” 

“Snacks and drinks aren’t the same, they’re _very different_!” Chanyeol says with a wave of his hand. “They are fundamentally different!” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as they argue back and forth, but before long, they hear the rustling at the brush, Junmyeon and Minseok’s scent flooding out. 

“The alphas,” Baekhyun says, smacking at Sehun’s shoulder. “Quiet now.” 

The two of them approach just as Baekhyun is hitting them wildly to shut them up, and Baekhyun smiles at them. 

“Fighting already?” Junmyeon says. “Are we interrupting?” 

“Nothing but _abuse_,” Sehun whines. “Come. Rescue me.” 

It makes the alphas laugh, Sehun much too young for them, but they sit in the circle, the bottle of mead resting in the center. 

“What’s so funny?” Sehun asks, and he turns wistful. “I want an alpha.”

“Sehun—” Baekhyun whines. 

“No, I’ve decided.” 

“You want an alpha?” Chanyeol says, and he takes a swig from the bottle. “You always said you didn’t want to bond.” 

“I’ve changed my mind,” Sehun says, nose in the air. “I want an alpha to take care of me.” 

“Just as I want an alpha to take care of me!” 

“And I’ll find one first,” Sehun says. 

“Bet you a deer.” 

“Listen, you’ll _both_ find an alpha,” Minseok says, hands raised as he tries to placate them. “Surely, there’s enough of us to go around.” 

The two of them exchange a look, a curious look, and then, they move. 

Chanyeol and Sehun both sidle up to Minseok, their shoulders against his, and Minseok looks between them curiously. Chanyeol then leans his head onto Minseok’s shoulder, smiling up at him. Sehun is quick to mirror him, staring up at Minseok with a smile. Minseok, of course, is left to look to Junmyeon to help. 

“I think they’ve both a crush on him,” Junmyeon whispers. “How will this end, hm?” 

“With wrestle in the dirt, I’m sure,” Baekhyun whispers back, and they both erupt into a fit of laughter.

“Hey there,” Sehun says, scrambling across to Baekhyun, shaking him by the shoulder, “what are you both laughing at, hm? Hey! Tell me who you’re laughing at!” 

It does not end, much to Sehun’s immense dismay, and they spend the rest of the evening among laughing waters.  
  


☾

  
  
In the evenings, they often go to the river, the five of them. Chanyeol lights a small fire, and they warm themselves by it. It is good fun, especially because Noeul is often quiet enough that they can talk. She whimpers and whines still, fussy as she is, but she does not scream.

They drink, and Chanyeol and Sehun bicker about which of them is handsomer, Minseok kicking back and laughing at them as they provide entertainment. Junmyeon rocks Noeul in his arms, and Baekhyun watches them all, watches the ends of them all knit together like a pack. 

By the time that the second week of the official visit is upon them, Baekhyun feels as though he’s found two new friends. He supposes that’s the importance of the visits, fostering camaraderie and peace. He looks at Junmyeon, and the fire dances, licks at the sky. Then, Junmyeon turns, feels Baekhyun’s eyes on him. They look at each other, hazy with honey wine, and Junmyeon smiles at him. 

“All right,” Minseok says, and he stands, dusting off his bottom before pointing to Sehun and Chanyeol now wrestling in the dirt. “They’re too drunk.” He kicks Sehun and then Chanyeol with his boot, and they both flail, standing up, eyes crazy. “Shall I escort you home, omegas?” 

They bow drunkenly, and Baekhyun laughs. 

Then, Sehun pulls Baekhyun aside as they retreat, whispers into his ear. It smells like alcohol, but Baekhyun knows there is a certain truth in alcohol. 

“Be careful,” he says. “Remember. He’s an alpha.” 

Baekhyun shudders as Sehun walks away, Chanyeol leading him off by the hand, Minseok up ahead waiting for them. 

When all the rest have gone, it is just he and Junmyeon, sitting at the bank of the river, passing the mead back and forth. In the very back of Baekhyun’s mind, it occurs, not for the first time, that he and Junmyeon are spending quite a lot of time together, just the two of them. Years ago, it was improper, unbonded alphas and omegas to see each other like this, and distantly, Baekhyun can understand why. 

Something about Junmyeon’s scent wrapped around his shoulders like it belongs there feels right. 

Baekhyun shakes the thought from his head, blames it on the wine. He is not so crass, to be thinking of a pairbroker in such a fashion.

The stars move, and the moon moves too. They sit there for hours, talking. He opens up to Baekhyun, tells him of the way his mate died. The birth was too much, and though they tried— 

“It was brutal,” Junmyeon says, and Baekhyun thinks to his heat, the smell of blood. “I have never seen a wolf bleed the way she bled.” 

It puts sickness in his stomach, thinking of it, thinking of the way the room must have smelled like death, like pain and metal and red. 

“Y-You don’t have to say it, if it doesn’t help,” Baekhyun says quietly. “Sometimes it hurts to say it.” 

“Keep it quiet or spill the truth, it hurts just the same,” he admits, and he bows his head sharply. “I beg your pardon.” 

“No, that isn’t what I—” 

“I didn’t even ask if it was all right to bring her around, whether or not it would hurt you to see her, to smell her,” Junmyeon says, and he lifts the child, still whimpering, albeit less than when they arrived. “I’m so thoughtless.” 

Baekhyun smiles softly. If he couldn’t stand the sight of a pup, he thinks he’d be much worse off than he is now. In a strange way, the thought comforts him. Even though he can never bear his own child, it does not hurt him being around Noeul, nor any child, and knowing that brings him strength. 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “No, it doesn’t hurt.” 

“Don’t say that just for my sake,” Junmyeon says, pleading. “Please, not just because you want to preserve my feelings.” 

Baekhyun laughs sharply, and Junmyeon startles at the sound. 

“I don’t say anything to preserve anyone’s feelings,” Baekhyun tells him. “And if we’re to be friends, you must remember that about me.” 

Junmyeon looks at him, and the child is quiet. Baekhyun looks at her, at the color of her eyes. Golden. _Golden._ He looks into Junmyeon’s eyes, warm brown, honeyed like wheat. 

“All right,” Junmyeon smiles, and he smells sweet, sweet and salted. “I shall.”  
  


☾

  
  
He and Junmyeon spend more and more time together, walking through the fields. He shows Junmyeon the sheds, the tools, explains his work. He introduces Junmyeon to as many new faces as he can, and miraculously, Junmyeon seems to remember all their names, seems to charm them all just as he charmed Baekhyun. Junmyeon holds Noeul, and the child occasionally whines, but altogether, it is peaceful when they are together, when they spend the day with the other. Sometimes they skip the feast, preferring to eat on their own, the three of them.

Baekhyun leads Junmyeon and Noeul to the fruit trees, their faces streaked with filtered light and shadow, and he reaches up, grabs an orange, and peels it easily. 

“Are you a wolf, or are you a monkey?” Junmyeon teases, and Baekhyun feels his face go red. 

Junmyeon teases him lots, pokes fun, and Baekhyun likes the way it makes him feel, a little confused, a little silly. It’s the first time he’s ever felt that way, confused and silly because of an alpha. 

“A wolf, thank you very much,” Baekhyun says, and he turns his back on the two of them, begins to rub the peels over the backs of his ears, his arms. “Did you know that orange peels keep away mosquitoes?” 

“No, I didn’t know that.” 

Baekhyun turns back around, lobs the peel up, and Junmyeon snatches it out of the air with his free hand, grinning. 

“Suppose you learn something new every day,” Baekhyun says haughtily. 

“I suppose you do,” Junmyeon answers.  
  


☾

  
  
The next afternoon, he goes to bathe, lamenting over the fact that the southeast’s visit is nearing its end. Perhaps, instead of skipping out on the feast again, they’ll eat and drink together again, the five of them. Perhaps, they will be able to visit each other again sometime. Perhaps, this is the beginning of something lifelong. It could be, he tells himself. It _could_ be.

He slips into the water, feet planted in the sandy silt, and then, he smells it. Sehun. Milk and honey, and just barely, just a hint of lilac. 

Baekhyun watches as Sehun silently walks to the edge of the water, dipping his toe in. 

“Hello there,” Baekhyun offers. “Are you well?” 

Sehun does not speak, only swirls his foot through the water. 

“Wolf got your tongue?” Baekhyun teases, but Sehun’s eyes shoot up to meet Baekhyun’s as he pulls his foot back. “What?”

“I don’t know if it’s such a grand idea to see him again tonight,” Sehun says. 

Baekhyun furrows his brow. “And why not?” He dips his head back into the water, lets it soak his hair through. “What’s wrong?” 

“You’re much too... I _warned_ you of this, didn’t I? He’s an alpha,” Sehun stresses. “He is hurting. He needs comfort. It makes people blind, and in his blindness, he will hurt you.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he scrubs at his scalp. “You aren’t listening to me.” 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “I’m not.”

Sehun stomps his foot against the soft soil at the bank of the river. 

“And why not?” 

“Because you’re being a silly pup,” Baekhyun tells him. “He cannot hurt me. How could he?” 

“You’re giving him everything he needs,” Sehun says, and there is an edge to his scent then, as he leans forward, like he’s pleading. Sehun is not one to plead, and it makes Baekhyun worry. “You’re not thinking straight.” 

“What exactly are you saying?” He splashes his face with water, quickly wiping it away. “Say it plainly, pup.” 

“I only mean... he’s leaving tomorrow,” Sehun says. “He walks away, and you stay right here.” 

“And?” 

“And don’t let him use you,” Sehun says, folding his arms across his chest. “You’ve barely spent any time away from him these past suns.” 

“So you’re jealous of him,” Baekhyun says happily. Sehun rolls his eyes as he turns on his foot, padding back through the forest to the center of camp. “You aren’t mad at me, are you?” 

Sehun gives a shrug of his shoulder before he disappears from sight, and Baekhyun considers the matter settled.  
  


☾

  
  
Even though Baekhyun says one thing, he often does another.

Sehun’s words sink in for some strange reason, and throughout most of the day, as he aids the rest of the gatherers in the set-up for the final feast, he thinks on it. He makes citrus salad, and he thinks. He puts the flowers in the vases, and he thinks on it. He lights candles, and he thinks. Is Junmyeon using him? Has their friendship been one of convenience and comfort? 

Much later that evening, Baekhyun is staring at the water, still thinking of the words. It turned his stomach to think of Junmyeon in that way, and he decided that he wouldn’t, that he’d let Junmyeon leave, that he would try not to get his feelings hurt. He thinks, thinks, thinks, and the water moves, rushes past like time. 

It is then that he hears something approach, screaming loudly through the wood. Immediately he shifts, the wolf splintering out of him, but he shifts back once he realizes who it must be. Who it obviously is. 

The brush parts to reveal him, eyes watery and red as if he’s been crying. 

“What’s the matter?” Baekhyun asks. “Couldn’t they put her down?” 

“No,” Junmyeon says. “She will not rest, I’ve—I don’t know what to do anymore.” The screams continue as Junmyeon walks out to meet Baekhyun, and some part of Baekhyun wants to grab the child, put her to his neck. But it isn’t his place. He must remember. “Worry not,” Baekhyun says. “Perhaps the night air will do her some good.” 

“I can’t even think anymore,” Junmyeon says. “When she gets like this, I just think— it reminds me of...” 

“I know,” Baekhyun says, offering Junmyeon a wince. “I’m sorry.” 

A tense moment sits between them before Junmyeon slices through it. 

“Could I try something?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, shaking his head, “yes, of course, whatever—” 

Junmyeon thrusts the crying child into Baekhyun’s arms, and Baekhyun’s eyes go wide as he holds the child at arm’s length. 

“Hold her? Please?” Junmyeon asks, and the rings around his eyes are red. He smells like death, like despair, like burning hair, so different from his normal scent. “Just for a moment, I swear it. Whenever I’m not with you, she weeps, big fat tears on her face, and I’m just—I’m at my wits end, I swear it.” 

“Okay, yes, all right,” Baekhyun says, and he stares at the child. She is a quiet maelstrom, silent as she holds her breath on a holler. Hurriedly, he blows a bit of air into her face to get her to breathe, and the sound erupts from her like steam from a boiling kettle. “Enough of that now.” 

He brings the baby close the way he’s done once before, and he tucks her little screaming face into the crook of his neck. It is almost immediate, the effect it has on Noeul. She quiets again, so quickly that Baekhyun is at first sure that she’s stopped breathing again, but when he pulls the pup from his neck, the cries have all but gone, her face slowly morphing back to calm.

“W-Wh—How is this—”

“It’s your scent,” Junmyeon says, and when Baekhyun looks to him, he is staring at the soil beneath their feet. “You smell... you smell just like her.” 

Baekhyun feels a blush creep up the back of his neck, and he bows his head. 

“I-I’ve never known what I smell like,” Baekhyun says, and that alone is an admittance. 

It is a sacred thing, their moon-given scents, highly individual and specific, and to speak of someone’s implies closeness, an intimacy that Baekhyun has never taken part in. 

Junmyeon’s eyes snap to Baekhyun’s though, and in that moment, Baekhyun’s whole body fills with a startlingly lightning bolt of heat. 

“Like cinnamon,” Junmyeon says, and those two words make Baekhyun breathe in sharply. “You smell like cinnamon and clove, but—it isn’t so simple, of course. You smell like spiced apples. Like spiced red apples, simmering over a fire. Sweet, but biting.” 

And unconsciously or not, Junmyeon releases his scent in waves, glorious, rolling waves of sweet-smelling water, sweet but thick with salt, slick and dripping, and Baekhyun steps back, puts a bit of distance between them because he is so very overwhelmed by it. 

“O-Oh.” He feels the blush move to his ears, and he thanks the moon for the lack of light in the wood so that Junmyeon can’t see it. “Oh, thank you.” 

“There is nothing to thank me for.” He stares at Baekhyun, seemingly in a daze, before he falls from that daze into a deep bow, bent over in half before Baekhyun, sorry after sorry after sorry. “I must offer you my most sincere apologies. T-To overstep my bounds in that fashion... it reflects poorly upon me, upon my pack. Please, in the light of the moon, forgive me.” 

“T-There is nothing to forgive you for,” Baekhyun says, and he rests his hand along the pup’s back, his heart singing as she breathes his scent of sweet spiced apples in and out. He smiles as Junmyeon stands warily, eyeing Baekhyun as if he’s not sure if he believes him. “I swear it to you. Shall we drink over it?” 

Junmyeon’s scent is sharp like a sword of water, and it pierces Baekhyun through the throat, makes his mouth go dry with... with something like want. 

“I could not ask so much from you,” Junmyeon says. “I’ve already troubled you so much.” 

“No,” Baekhyun says quickly, “no, I’m afraid I must insist. We can drink to... to our friendship! To friendship between our packs. I can introduce you to my parents! They would love to see the pup.” He smiles. “Especially my father. He does love puppies.” 

Junmyeon’s eyes are warm, sparkling brown, much like the moon’s when she spoke through the Listener, and Baekhyun feels his eyes water at the memory. 

“If you’re sure.” 

“I am,” Baekhyun says. “I’ve never been so sure.”  
  


☾

  
  
They walk to Baekhyun’s home as the stars sparkle overhead, Noeul sound asleep in his arms. It feels correct in a way that Baekhyun simply cannot explain, something jarringly _right_ about the evening, but he ignores it, puts it as far behind him as possible. He can’t start falling for every wolf who looks at him, for every wolf who tells him what he smells like, for just any wolf who... smells nice.

There is a silence over them, fluffy like the mulberry-colored clouds in the night sky, and Baekhyun dares not break it, not until they reach their destination, not until he opens the door. 

But they are not welcomed by candlelight, nor the laughter of Baekhyun’s parents. 

“O-Oh,” Baekhyun says, and he steps back outside, looks to the pack hall. Sure enough, the lights are still lit, the celebrations still pressing on. “I could go fetch them.” 

“Do not bother them,” Junmyeon says, and he bows quickly before taking Baekhyun’s free hand in his, the skin of his hands soft, the push of his scent just as soft, just as unconscious. “I shall take my leave. You have been most gracious these past weeks, and I am grateful to you, Baekhyun.” 

Something in Baekhyun panics, frightened at the thought of losing Junmyeon so soon. 

“No!” Baekhyun shouts, frowning at himself for his lack of control, and he quickly pulls Junmyeon across the threshold into his home, the babe still sound asleep in his arms. “No, I... I will make the tea, and we will drink to friendship. Won’t... won’t you stay? Just for one cup?” 

There is a thick moment, thick enough to be cut through, and Baekhyun blinks as though his eyes need clearing. 

Junmyeon smiles, and Baekhyun returns it. 

“Yes, for a cup,” Junmyeon promises. 

Baekhyun shows Junmyeon to the nest of blankets, and he sits, crossing his legs as he holds his arms in a cradle. Baekhyun passes Noeul to him, and he watches Noeul with awe, looking up at Baekhyun. 

“The gratitude I feel,” Junmyeon says, trailing off. “She has not slept so soundly since...” He shakes the thought away, looking down at the pup. “Forgive me. I must learn not to share such thoughts of mine.” 

“No,” Baekhyun says, and he kneels before Junmyeon, a hand careless on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “It must hurt so very much.” Baekhyun frowns. “I think I would go mad if I quieted all my thoughts away.” 

Junmyeon shudders as he laughs softly, a sad little thing, and Baekhyun wants to do away with all the sadness, at least for a night. 

“This visit has been a blessing from the moon,” Junmyeon says quietly, and Baekhyun’s heart soars up into his throat. “I cannot thank you enough for your kindness.” 

“It is the least I could do.” He shakes his head. “The least any of us could have done.” 

“No one else could have done it,” Junmyeon says, and his eyes are sparkling amber like brushed fox furs, like polished stone. “You’re the only one who could possibly understand. You’ve lost. Not in the same way, perhaps, but—” 

“But I’ve lost,” Baekhyun agrees. He smiles, stands back up and stares down at Junmyeon. “I suppose that makes us a pitiful pair.” 

Junmyeon tosses his head back with a laugh. “Sounds like something to toast to.” He tilts his head to the side coyly. “If you’d like—” 

“Something stronger than tea?” Baekhyun offers. 

“Just a cup,” Junmyeon says. 

“Just a cup, then.” 

Baekhyun slows his movement as he walks to the cabinet, deliberate as he grabs a bottle and two cups, pouring them full with honey wine. He turns back, sees Junmyeon watching him closely, so he hurries back, sits cross-legged beside him, handing the full cup to him. 

“And what are we drinking to?” Junmyeon asks, mood drastically improved since just a moment before. He offers his cup, the alcohol sloshing in a wave as he moves. “Friendship, happiness, health?” 

“And healing,” Baekhyun suggests, moving until the lip of his cup rests gently against Junmyeon’s. 

“And healing.” 

Baekhyun looks into Junmyeon’s eyes as he drinks, finds Junmyeon looking back.  
  


☾

  
  
One cup becomes two, and two somehow becomes four. Baekhyun doesn’t know, he only poured when Junmyeon asked him to, feeling his stomach warm at the words. He is foolish, he knows he is a bit foolish, but as Junmyeon loosens up, as he cheers, brightening up a dark space. Their lips get looser, they say what they feel. They share things they wouldn’t normally share. The babe sleeps beside them, occasionally making a noise, a whimper or a hum, something to remind them that she is there.

Junmyeon regales Baekhyun with stories of his lost pair. At first, he thinks that maybe it is a bad idea, but where it might be sad some other night, that night, it is only romantic. The way Junmyeon speaks of her, the way she moved, the way she spoke and laughed, the way he describes the way she smelled, it makes Baekhyun ache with longing. He smiles as he talks, happy to be reminded, and Baekhyun is happy that he gets to watch him bloom like one of the sunflowers. 

Still, with the most intimate details of his life spread out between them, Baekhyun wonders if maybe they are too new for such details, but then, he supposes, they’ve gotten close quickly. Best not to question it, he thinks, head fuzzy. Best to jump in head first and worry later. 

“I never know what to call your scent,” Baekhyun muses. “Something like... like water, to be sure, but you do not remind me of the river.” 

Not the wet soil, not the fish, not the musk, none of it. He thinks on it more, lifts his cup to his lips again. He swallows, empties his fourth cup, and when he looks back to Junmyeon, Junmyeon’s eyes are on his throat. 

“I smell like the ocean,” Junmyeon says, tearing his eyes away to look down at his hands twisted around the cup. He sets it down beside him, looks into Baekhyun’s eyes. “But then—you’ve never seen the ocean, have you?” 

It feels like a challenge, and Baekhyun’s never been the type of wolf who wouldn’t rise to one. 

“I was never old enough to go on the visits,” Baekhyun says, feeling the alcohol simmer under his skin like red hot confidence. “But now I’m of maturity. I can go anywhere I want, and I can do whatever I please.” 

“And when you come to the southeastern shores,” Junmyeon says, shuffling forward, “you can tell anyone my name.” 

“And what does your name get me, hm?” Baekhyun angles himself towards Junmyeon, knowing immediately that it is a bad idea, one that he cannot seem to stop. “What does your name fetch?” 

“A bed, at the very least,” Junmyeon answers with a laugh, nudging his hand against Baekhyun’s knee. “Perhaps a meal.” 

An alpha and an omega, so close together. Baekhyun knows it is bad, knows that they shouldn’t be here, talking so comfortably. He knows it’s wrong, knows he is letting something happen that he shouldn’t, taking advantage, and yet he craves so desperately. Desires with all his heart. _What would it be like? I won’t ever have it. So just this once, couldn’t I try it?_

“Are we close enough friends?” Baekhyun wonders. 

Junmyeon’s smile is as handsome as the rest of him. 

“Aren’t we?” 

Baekhyun can hardly believe it is happening when Junmyeon leans forward, smelling of the sea, the sweet, salted waters, slowly closing the distance between them. Baekhyun has never been kissed before, doesn’t know what to do, but he shuts his eyes just as Junmyeon’s lips touch his, when the sea spreads over his mouth in a wave, when the water rolls in. 

Baekhyun moves, greedy for more, eager for it. He touches Junmyeon softly on the shoulder, fingers curling around the muscle there. 

Junmyeon pulls back sharply, like Baekhyun’s burned him just with his bare hand. Baekhyun falls backwards, watches Junmyeon blink as though he’s waking from a dream. _Oh, what a dream_, Baekhyun thinks. _What a terrible, blessed dream._

“Forgive me,” Junmyeon says, his mouth muffled by his hand. “Oh, moon above, forgive me. I don’t know what’s come over me, I can’t believe I’ve—” 

“No, it’s all right,” Baekhyun says. “Y-You’re tired. You’re confused. We’ve... I’m sorry. My deepest apologies, I’ve—I put you in an uncomfortable position.” 

“Yes,” Junmyeon says, and the word puts a thorn in Baekhyun’s heart, “yes, I’m... I must retire. I am—please accept my deepest, most sincere apologies, I’ve... I’ve brought dishonor upon myself, upon my pack, u-upon my family.” 

The tears fall down his face quickly, blinked out and falling to Baekhyun’s fox furs, and Baekhyun pities him, pities him so dearly, but hates him too. He is too beautiful, too sad. It makes Baekhyun sad, sadder than he thought he could be because he thinks he might have loved him in another world, in another version of this ladder of stars. This could have been his destiny, but it isn’t. He missed it. 

That face in the fire so long ago. He’s sure it was Junmyeon’s. 

“G-Go then,” Baekhyun says, and his heart goes up in the red flames, realizing how childish he sounds. “I too... I need my rest, I think. Too much... too much wine, perhaps.” 

“Yes,” Junmyeon agrees. “Yes, surely.” 

He picks up the babe from the nest beside them, and she huffs a breath, a soft sound that echoes loudly in the empty, silent home. 

Junmyeon walks to the door, and before he leaves, he bows deeply, showing his mark to Baekhyun again. Baekhyun finds himself angry at the sight, so he does not respond, does not say goodbye, only watches him leave. 

Upon the next sunrise, the southeastern pack leaves to return to her shores. A party sends them away with well wishes. Baekhyun is not among the party. Baekhyun, mouth dry and head aching, only wakes once his mother douses him with a bucket of cold river water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay whew sorry, that was ,,,,, A long one. i probably could have written at least double the word count for this one, but it was getting exhausting so i just ,,,, cut it short. i hope it didnt disappoint. anyway. SORRY i know im like, so annoying abt updates with this, but hopefully it is a nice surprise. i dont know. im feeling very weird. i hope you are feeling Good tho lkasjdklag 
> 
> writing this relationship is very hard at these stages because its very easy to see where they end up but getting there is a challenge. people need time to mourn losses, everyone heals at a different pace. i dont know what the point of all this is, just that i have a lot of feelings and that im sorry that this is so slow moving. im sure if you know me, my writing, etc, you dont expect them to get together next chapter or anything, but i hope you understand that that's just..... Not the story im writing! Not that there's anything wrong w that, just,,,,, Im a tedious bitch, what can i say. 
> 
> ok sorry sorry sorry sorry [super junior invades my house and kills me in the sweet night] 
> 
> im not on twitter atm but she'll be coming back around the mountain some point soon. hope you are having a great week. sorry for all the mistakes in this one 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	6. years like minutes

The world shifts after the visit, after Baekhyun meets Junmyeon, after they find each other in the middle of an ocean of hurt. Baekhyun tries to forget the way his stomach tensed when Junmyeon touched him. Tries to forget the way he felt settled at Junmyeon's side. This has always been his problem. He jumps into things with no regard for how it might affect anyone else, always too excitable, always too happy to try something new. Never thinking.

Baekhyun goes about his days wishing the Listener were still right next to him, her soft wrinkled hand holding his. He wonders what she would tell him if he told her he'd fallen in love with someone who was already mated.  
  


☽

  
  
The moon rises and falls in the sky, and Baekhyun watches it, the world turning under his feet. Cradle Nights come and go, and Baekhyun always sits around the fire as he did the very first night, a fleeting part of him wishing that Junmyeon would return like something from a dream.

Sehun and Chanyeol come of age, and their feasts are decadent, full of splendor. Baekhyun smiles at them as they pass him by, occasionally mating on the Cradle Night, occasionally not. If they don't mate, they sit with him. Keep him company. If they mate, they walk home with him after, and they tell him all the terrible details once he asks for them, as he always does. He craves the details, of course. Wants to know what it’s like since he himself will never have it.

There should be something romantic about it, something fulfilling, but after hearing of their trysts, he never feels the romance nor the fulfillment.

He supposes they view it differently than he does, though he also supposes he lifts it to a pedestal because of his position.

"It was nothing special," Sehun says, staring at his fingernails. "I think he's okay."

"Okay," Chanyeol says, and he kicks Sehun in the shin with a righteous fury. "Okay?"

"Yes, he's serviceable," Sehun says, using the Cradle Night as a way to rate and rank the eligible alphas in their pack. "If I were to assign him a number on a scale of one to ten—"

"Please," Chanyeol says. "Please, he's beautiful. He’s so handsome! He’s so smart, and he’s funny!"

"I would give him a four."

"A four," Chanyeol yells, and then he turns to Baekhyun. "A four! Can you believe him?"

"Frankly, I can," Baekhyun smiles. "He is something of a—”

“Whatever insult you mean to lay at my feet, kindly shove it up your ass,” Sehun smiles. “I mean to find the best alpha that has ever been, and that takes research.”

“God, you smell of rut,” Chanyeol says, waving his hand in front of his face. “Disgusting.”

"This isn't rut," Sehun says, and he gently wafts his scent over to them, the fragrant, sweet smell of lilac. "Rut smells like sweat and dirt. I smell like a rose comparatively."

Baekhyun wrinkles his nose, and Chanyeol does the same, and Sehun splits into another smile as he leans into Chanyeol, earning him a smile back.

"Are you going home?" Chanyeol asks Baekhyun. "We can walk together, if you'd like."

"I think I'll sit for a little while longer," Baekhyun answers, and he bows his head to them, feeling strangely formal. "Sleep well."

"A-And you," Chanyeol responds, bowing his head in response as Sehun snorts and pulls them both to their feet.

Baekhyun watches them wander off, and they walk tall, the shadows of them taller, and Baekhyun looks up to the sky, dotted with stars, the moon hung like a pure white cradle. There he sits, nine-and-ten turns, he thinks of Junmyeon on the Cradle Nights, thinking of their bodies together, the scents of them mixing. He thinks of the child they could have had, were things different. Thinks of the bite that could have belonged on the back of his neck. He lets his eyes go fuzzy as he stares up, and when he tires of that, he walks home, his nest of blankets feeling so very empty.  
  


☽

  
  
Work becomes a place of solace. He doesn’t have time to think of anything besides the task at hand, so he puts his head down, nose to the stone, pushing towards something, though he isn’t sure what that something is. He impresses the elder wolves, lets them shower him with praise for the way he handles his work, and he lets that praise rub off on him. He isn’t a useless slouch. He doesn’t need to wait around for some sorry alpha. He has all he needs: himself.

Chanyeol and Sehun only come around after they’ve finished with their tasks. Chanyeol chose the builders, and they work hard in the mornings and early evenings. Sehun works with the hunters, and sometimes, there are long weeks of his absence. As they grow older, it becomes more difficult to see them. It puts a thorn in his paw, the thought of them drifting. He doesn’t want that, but the distance grows with every passing day, even though they hang by the river when they can manage.

To Baekhyun, it feels as though the only time they get the chance to really see each other is on the Cradle Night. And in a funny way, Baekhyun dreads it each time.

Sehun rarely comes back without a story to tell, and though Baekhyun appreciates the stories at first, he grows tired of them after the first twelve. He can only hear about an alpha being inadequate so many times before he starts to get angry. Chanyeol, of course, is simple, knows nothing of Baekhyun's inner turmoil, so while Baekhyun sits there, asking questions he doesn't want answers to, Chanyeol keeps goading Sehun on. 

"Did he knot?" Chanyeol asks. "I need to know about the knot."

"So perverse," Sehun scoffs, and he picks at his fingernails, casual. "There was no knot, you fool."

Naturally, that captures Baekhyun's attention.

"No knot?"

"Yeah, wait. No knot?" Chanyeol repeats.

"No," Sehun laughs. "I leave before that."

"Why?" Chanyeol asks. "Isn't that, I don't know, part of the experience?"

"Not for this omega," Sehun says.

Baekhyun's head swims. If he's not being knotted, then what's the purpose of it? What is he playing at?

"Do you ever intend on being knotted?" Baekhyun asks.

"No," Sehun scoffs. "At least not until some other pack arrives. I don't find any of these alphas suitable."

Baekhyun reels at the words, strangely affronted on behalf of the pack's alphas. Where does Sehun get off talking that way? Judging them so harshly? And... and on Cradle Nights? The sacred night?

"Now, Minseok... _that's_ an alpha," Chanyeol says, and he whines desperately. "Remember?"

"Do I," Sehun sighs. "Do you remember the way he smelled? Moon, he was like heaven."

"You're too young," Chanyeol says, and he slaps Sehun on the shoulder. "I'm better suited for him, I think."

"I'm nine-and-ten now!" Sehun says indignantly, and he gets to his feet just as Chanyeol does, their chests puffed out obnoxiously. "I'm plenty old enough for him."

"You're nine-and-ten, I'm nearly twenty," Chanyeol says. "And he'll be... wait, how old was he?"

"See!" Sehun screeches. "You don't know a thing about him! It's quite obvious that _I'm_ the one who deserves him."

Baekhyun quiets them down, lest they start a wrestling match by the fire, a sure way to end the night with ashes of one kind or another. Baekhyun walks home a bit later, but when he sees the Listener's hut out of the corner of his eye, he goes to it, feels drawn by it, some magic in the winds pulling him forward.

He feels glittering spirits in the summer air, feels her guiding hand along his shoulder as she pushes him towards the red painted curtain, parting the seam with his hands, stepping inside. It is cold and damp like no one has cared for it in her absence, and the sight of it, the brittle sticks of long-dead flower stems still hanging from the ceiling... it brings tears to his eyes.

Baekhyun collapses to the pile of her blankets, the furs soft against his face, and he curls himself into a neat ball as he tries to imagine what she would tell him if she were still here. He can feel the winds moving, blue and purple and white, but he can't hear her voice, the twinkling sound of a bird on his shoulder. He has never felt more alone, more adrift in a sea of sorrow.  
  


☽

  
  
Baekhyun doesn't know the forces that guide him, but each day feels worse, his stomach turning over with illness as he watches Chanyeol and Sehun float through their days. He is not jealous of him, he isn't, but he just... he wishes they were smarter. He wishes they were more practical. They are still little more than pups, not like him, not focused on his work and his duty to the pack. They're still guided by fanciful dreams, eager to put everyone aside so that they can focus on themselves.

"Baekhyun?" Chanyeol says, and he nudges Baekhyun in the shoulder with his own. "Are you all right?"

The white cradle hangs in the sky, and he is filled with a poisonous acceptance. He shouldn't wait here. He shouldn't talk to them about such things. He encourages their bad behaviors. He has set a bad example, and again, he has brought dishonor upon himself.

"I'm fine," Baekhyun mutters, and he leans forward, stokes the fire with a stick and watches the ashes scream to the sky. "I've been tired lately, what with the nursing of the sprouts and lettuces."

"You're boring now," Chanyeol smiles. "All you ever want to talk about is work, work, work."

"Well, there is much work to be done," Baekhyun argues.

"And we'll get plenty done sitting around the fire when we're meant to be knotted," Sehun snorts, and when Baekhyun turns his head to stare at him, Sehun is smiling, showing his teeth. "Are you well? Truly?"

"How many times must I say it?" Baekhyun wonders. "I'm well, I'm _well_."

“Moon, you're testy. I’m going to bed,” Chanyeol says, “since it appears the both of you intend to stick around until the morning.”

“Not until morning, just until Baekhyun starts asking for his details,” Sehun smiles, and he shoulders against Baekhyun before looking up at Chanyeol with a grin. “Do you need an escort?”

“No, I’m quite well,” Chanyeol says, and he runs off, shifting into his wolf and scampering like the overgrown pup that he is.

Baekhyun watches him go, the clouds of dust from his paws strangely charming, and then, he turns back to the fire, feels Sehun watching him.

“Well, aren’t you going to ask?” Sehun prompts, and Baekhyun wishes he wouldn’t.

“What about him?” Baekhyun finally asks, the words bristling along his back. “How was he, on your scale of alphas?”

“Oh, a three,” Sehun scoffs. “Poor thing.”

Baekhyun wants to slap him, wants to tell him to have some dignity, some self-respect. This isn’t how an omega should conduct themselves. This isn’t the sort of behavior that would inspire respect. Baekhyun looks at Sehun the way he would look at a child. He feels like his father, like his mother, like he’s adopted a pup in need of a good scolding. He knows what’s best for Sehun, and this isn’t it. This shouldn’t be how he lives his life. This shouldn’t be how he spends his Cradle Nights.

“Are you quite all right?” Sehun asks, and he brushes the knuckles of his fist against Baekhyun's cheek. “Have I... have I said something to upset you? You've been so—”

“No,” Baekhyun says, and he just barely avoids speaking through gritted teeth. “No, I’m all right.”

Sehun holds his gaze for a moment longer before he turns, his side against Baekhyun's, and he stares at the fire.

“I won’t know unless you tell me.” He nudges his shoulder against Baekhyun’s, completely unaware of how much he smells like sex, like love, like a future filled with bond-pairs and marks and mating under the full white light of the moon.

“There isn’t anything wrong,” Baekhyun tells him, and he can taste the lie on his tongue, bitter and cruel. “I promise.”

Sehun reaches over, takes Baekhyun’s hand in his. Baekhyun wants with all his heart to pull his hand away, but he doesn’t, instead lets Sehun do with him what he wishes. Sehun gets whatever he wants. Sehun gets everything.

He plays with the soft band of Baekhyun’s bracelet, the tip of his nail hinting towards the silver at the middle.

“You must say something,” Sehun says, “before it’s too late.”

“What do you mean? Too late?”

Sehun squeezes Baekhyun’s hand in his, and when he relaxes again, he can feel the way Sehun’s hand shakes. Just a scared little puppy, barely nine-and-ten.

“Before the two of us quarrel,” Sehun says. “I don’t want that.”

Baekhyun doesn’t want to be the person to push it, so he lays his head against Sehun’s shoulder. He holds his breath for as long as he can manage, but when he sucks in air, all he smells is the heat of flowers being shoved into his face.  
  


☽

  
  
He doesn't talk much anymore, when the three of them are together, and Baekhyun is sure that they feel it just as he is sure that Sehun is right. Something will break between them before it's too late, but he is too stubborn to snap it over his knee. Let the storm crash upon them, he thinks. He doesn't mind the wait.

They watch him with sad eyes, the way they did when he first found he was barren, and it makes him want to bite them, tell them everything is fine when it so very clearly _isn't_.

The next Cradle Night comes, and Baekhyun can no longer stomach the smell dancing around the fire, the overwhelming sex. Even the thought turns his stomach. He does not go to the fire that night. He goes to the Listener’s hut, and he sits on the red pillow, staring up, waiting for the moon to peek through the window.

He waits a long while, stewing in silence, but then, just when the moon peeks her cradle through the window, there is a rustling at the curtain. A bolt of fear runs through Baekhyun, the thought of being caught someplace he shouldn’t be bringing him back to when he was a puppy, but the face that sticks through is not an elder’s face. It is Sehun’s, and soon, the whole room is flowers, the scent of his pleasured lilac completely overwhelming the scent of spiced citrus, the scent that _belongs_.

“I’ve been looking for you.” He steps down into the pit, and Baekhyun watches him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun says. “How was your Cradle Night?”

Sehun smiles like he knows a secret. He steps around the circle of the room just as he steps around the question.

“Do you come here often?” Sehun asks, and he looks around in wonderment at the flowers hanging from the rafters, an occasional flower petal falling like a drop of rain. “You disappear sometimes. I was always trying to guess where you were, though I suppose I should have known.”

“I'm here, usually,” Baekhyun says, and he looks at the ceiling too, up towards the moon window. “I change the flowers.”

Sehun looks at him, eyes staring through Baekhyun like he’s a pool of clear water.

“You’re very thoughtful,” Sehun says, and it should be praise, but Baekhyun doesn’t feel the compliment pour in the way it normally would.

“Thank you,” he says, despite the leeching feeling in his stomach, and he pulls a fur over his lap as he sits there. “What brings you here?”

“I was looking for you.” Sehun walks around the dead fire pit, looking taller than ever. “I was hoping to speak with you.” He folds his hands behind his back, and he looks very tense, a rod at his spine. “We haven’t spoken much recently.”

Baekhyun promptly opens his mouth to argue, but then he closes it again, thinking on the words. They see each other fairly often, but they never speak much. At least, Baekhyun doesn’t speak much. He mostly lets Chanyeol and Sehun talk, telling stories and making jokes. He watches them as they bicker and argue and wrestle, and he smiles at them, but never laughs.

“I’ll ask again,” Sehun says, and he stops in front of Baekhyun, kneels before him, hands on Baekhyun’s. “What’s wrong?”

It rushes out of him so quickly that he is powerless to stop it.

"You bother me," Baekhyun says. "You've been bothering me."

Sehun blinks like he wanted this to go a different way, but he immediately puts a little bit of metal in his mouth, chews it up, spits it back out.

"Do I? Have I? And why is that?"

Baekhyun knows that he should stop this before he gets too honest, too personal, but it has been coming to a head just like Sehun said it would, and now, the time for kindness, for preserving feelings, wrapping up fragile ceramics in soft linens... that time has ended.

He stands, and Sehun stands to, and they are bathed in the cold blue darkness. Baekhyun looks at him, sees nothing to like.

"You don't take your responsibilities seriously," Baekhyun criticizes. "You treat everything as if it's a joke."

"Do I?"

"Y-Yes," Baekhyun says, and he feels his anger waning like the moon above them, but he keeps pushing forward, needs to say it before it swallows him whole. "Yes, you... you don't pay attention to the good of yourself, the pack, or anyone else."

Sehun folds his arms across his chest, stares blankly at Baekhyun.

"Is there something you'd really like to say?" Sehun asks. "Something else? Something true?"

"Cradle Night," Baekhyun finally says. "It isn't meant to be something to help you find your bond. It's meant to... well, it's meant to produce puppies. And if you don't mean to produce a puppy, then I don't know why you bother with the whole thing."

Sehun's expression is plain, unimpressed by Baekhyun's scolding, and Baekhyun knows he shouldn't be saying it, but it has been grating on him, grinding him down to nothing.

"Would you like to hear a secret?"

It steals the wind from Baekhyun, and he frowns.

"I... yes, I suppose."

“I’ve been thinking for a while about it. Talking about it with Chanyeol. It makes me feel like less of a person, less of a wolf, and I always want to talk to you about it, but I know that you'll hate me. What sort of friendship is this now?” Sehun asks, a sad, pitiful smile on his face. He steels himself, breathes in slowly before pushing out the words with a breath. "I don’t know if I want a pup."

Baekhyun feels the words drip down his spine, trembling drops of acid rain.

"What?"

"Don't make me say it again," Sehun says, and he looks so tired, so exhausted.

Baekhyun wants to find it in himself to care. To make this about something other than him and what he feels, but he can't.

"A-Are you trying to hurt me?" Baekhyun asks. “Are you trying to upset me?”

Sehun sighs, his shoulders slumping, and his posture goes funny. Baekhyun watches him stare at the ground, gather his thoughts, and when he meets Baekhyun's eyes again, he looks madder than Baekhyun can ever remember him looking.

"This is why you're angry with me? Truly?" He stares into Baekhyun's eyes, bores into Baekhyun's soul, and Baekhyun can see down to the bottom of him. "Everything is about you. About what's happened to you."

It stuns Baekhyun into silence, and it makes his tongue thick and soft in his mouth.

"I—I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Sehun says, and his eyes go soft, complicated. "It... I just don't think I'll ever be able to talk about this with you. And that brings me pain."

"You can," Baekhyun tries, but even the words feel salted and stale in his mouth. He tries to step back, tries to fix the mess he's made, but he thinks it might be too late for that. "I just... I can't understand it, I can't wrap my head around it. I-I'm not judging you, I—"

"You are," Sehun says. "You judge. It's your nature. It's how we've always been."

"No."

"Yes," Sehun says. "Chanyeol and I play, and you are there to put us in line, to help set us straight.” Sehun shakes his head again. “But now we’ve gone somewhere you can’t follow, and it eats you up inside.”

Baekhyun feels it, then, chewing and gnawing at him with sharp, furious little teeth. He leans into it, lets the anger build in him like a wall of water.

“Is that it, then? You’re telling me that I’m jealous?”

“Well, aren’t you?” Sehun asks, furrowing his brow. “That’s what it seems. I tried to be sensitive with you, but when you asked, I wanted to answer. I thought that... that you'd healed enough. That we could speak about such things. But you kept asking, and the more you asked, the angrier you got, and it's—”

“I’m not angry,” Baekhyun tells him, folding his arms across his chest, and the words in his mouth taste foul, rotten. He spits them out anyway. “And I’m not jealous of anyone, certainly not of you. What’s there to be jealous of, hm? Every alpha here has had you.”

Baekhyun can see the way it wounds Sehun, and he immediately regrets it, wants to take the words from the air, but they hang there like smoke, like poison.

He stands there, watches the tears he wanted to cause form in Sehun's eyes.

"Who are you?" Sehun asks, and a tear falls down his cheek, quickly chased by another. "You're supposed to be my friend. My _best_ friend."

Baekhyun falls to the earth, puts his forehead to the soil.

“I apologize,” he says, and he lays one hand over the other, pointing them towards Sehun. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“You did,” Sehun whispers. “You’ve become mean. Cruel. And I wish it wasn't this way. I wish I had said nothing at all, even when you asked.”

"I'm sorry." The sound of Sehun's voice makes him want to die, makes him want to stare at the dry earth forever. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I've—I'm horrible."

"Don't say that," Sehun says, and he sniffs, another pitiful sound. "Don't say that. You're not."

"I am." He shuts his eyes, and his tears wet the dust. "I'm cruel, I'm terrible, and you told me it would come to this."

"You wanted to have it out." And Baekhyun sees Sehun kneel, feels him take Baekhyun's face, raise it from the earth. "You wanted to fight with me."

"No," Baekhyun lies.

"Yes," Sehun says, and he brings Baekhyun to him, rests his forehead against Baekhyun's. "I forgive you."

"You shouldn't." Baekhyun shuts his eyes, lets it boil through him. "You shouldn't forgive me."

"But I do." When Baekhyun opens his eyes, Sehun's face is dry, his eyes clear. "There isn't anyone among us who knows what you are going through." He brushes a lock of Baekhyun's hair behind his ear. "I don't know what you feel. I only wish to help. It's only ever been my wish to love you."

"I don't deserve it," Baekhyun tells him. "I'm unworthy of it. The moon has told me so."

“You think you can’t find love because of this? You can. I know that you can. But if you are hung up on something you can't have, you won't ever try,” Sehun tells him.

“What is there to try?” Baekhyun asks. “A bond?”

“Yes, why not?” Sehun says. “A bond.”

"What is the point to it if you can't—"

"Baekhyun."

"Love? Is that it?"

"Listen to yourself," Sehun says. "Is that it? Of course that's it. That's all of it. That's why we're all here. Love."

Baekhyun huffs, and Sehun hugs him close, holds him there, tells him things wordlessly. _Believe me. Trust me._ When he comes away, his arms falling to his sides, Sehun is smiling at him.

“Who would you like me to bond with, then?” Baekhyun asks, and he smiles. "A three? A four?"

Sehun rolls his eyes, still childlike, and Baekhyun wants to throw his arms around his neck, hug him so tight that Sehun can’t ever leave him, can’t ever move on from this. This is what I am afraid of, Baekhyun thinks. Being left behind. Standing still as everyone else I love moves forward. They will leave, and I will be left alone. Forever. The picture of facing the darkness by himself won’t leave him, won’t ever leave him. It’s all he has, that frightening picture that he saw when he was just a six year old puppy, watching white powder hang in the air before it fell to the fire, extinguishing it with ease.

“I... I know that Chanyeol and I don’t know what you’re going through, don't know what you feel,” Sehun says gently, and he pulls Baekhyun close, lays his head on Baekhyun’s as they embrace. “But you cannot be rid of me. You cannot be rid of him. We love you too much. We won't let you go.”

Baekhyun feels his eyes go wet again as he presses his face into Sehun’s shoulder.

“If we hurt you, you mustn’t be afraid to say so. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm thoughtless sometimes, he and I, we're silly,” Sehun says, and he caps the back of Baekhyun’s neck, covers it up with a hand. “But it isn’t fair to treat me poorly. I won’t let you do that. I won’t let you become that sort of person. I won't forgive if you aren't truly sorry."

He’s been so childish, and his friends, even when he's treated them badly, they've yet to forsake him. He looks up, looks at Sehun's sad smile, and he feels everything shatter inside him. This is not who he is. This is not who he wants to be. He wants to be kind. He wants to be good.

"I am sorry," Baekhyun says, and he holds Sehun by the back of the neck, presses their foreheads together again. "For everything. I offer you my most sincere apologies."

He looks deeply into Sehun's eyes, holds the gaze for as long as he can manage before Sehun embraces him tightly, a smile smoothed against Baekhyun's ear.

"I've missed this so much," Sehun confesses, and his scent is warm and sweet, floral and good, and Baekhyun nuzzles into it, forgetting everything else. "Don't get used to this sort of affection, though. Chanyeol is better for this sort of thing."

"You're doing a very good job," Baekhyun says, and he lets the basic, primal comfort of Sehun's body on his calm him, settle his soul, mend all the little pieces of him back together once more.  
  


☽

  
  
The next morning, Baekhyun is walking to the river when Chanyeol tackles him to the dirt.

"Wh—have you _lost_ your mind?" Baekhyun screeches.

"I never had one to begin with!" Chanyeol yelps happily, and he presses a dozen kisses to Baekhyun's face, the sharp, happy smell of his lemon and jasmine pouring down over Baekhyun like rainfall. "Oh, I'm so happy we've made up, I was so nervous! Thank the moon, I was praying every night before bed."

It warms Baekhyun's heart, so instead of immediately shoving Chanyeol off, he lays there for another couple seconds, letting Chanyeol kiss him a couple more times before shoving him off with a laugh.

"You're a stupid pup, and you never learn," Baekhyun playfully scolds, and Chanyeol stares up at him happily, a bright white smile on his face.

"What's going on here?"

They turn sharply, Sehun standing in the middle of the path, hands at his hips.

"Nothing," Chanyeol says. "Baekhyun was only just telling me that he likes me more than he likes you, but he said not to tell."

Sehun scoffs. "As if I'd believe such a terrible lie." He looks between them. "Wait, truly? Are you telling falsehoods? Because I will gut you. I will gut the both of you!"

"You're so easy to rile," Chanyeol says, still sitting in the dirt, and Baekhyun quickly moves out of the way as Sehun launches himself over, wrestling with Chanyeol again.

It feels good to laugh at them, to laugh _with_ them.

Once the wrestling is through, the three of them walk to the river together before they're set to arrive for their work. Baekhyun walks between the two of them, standing in the shade of their twin oaks.  
  


☽

  
  
Even when nothing of note happens, time passes. Sometimes, the days go slow, other times, fast, but Baekhyun lives, grows, becomes more and more of himself as every moon rises and falls. Baekhyun turns one-and-twenty, two-and-twenty, and life just keeps on going. He forgets, mostly, of the things he used to worry about. Babes and bonds and things of the sort... it matters not to him. If it happens, it will happen. If it doesn't, it won't.

He realizes, over the course of the years, that he is perfectly happy as he is. It is not the sort of acceptance that happens in the course of days, weeks, or months, but it comes to him nonetheless. A happy kind of settling, the kind he imagines might come from bonding.

Baekhyun, as he throws himself into passions and projects and his trade, becomes one of the most trusted gatherers. He finds he quite likes cooking, so once he's finished in the evenings, he makes supper for his parents before venturing out to spend the night with Chanyeol and Sehun, pissing time away by the river, laughing about their day, about work, about the petty drama between alphas and omegas.

On new moons, the pack meets around the fire, the moon dead and black in the sky somewhere, and each time, Baekhyun fears that they might announce that they've found a new Listener, but even though he holds his breath, they never say the words. The hut remains empty. Sometimes, if he's in the middle of a particularly lonely patch, he wanders in, sits amongst the dried flowers, and tries to remember the way she smelled. Like sweet oranges. Like spice. He closes his eyes, remembers what she told him. Let the love in, she said. He does his best.

They sit at the river, and the clearing is lightless save for the small fire Sehun started, both his face and Chanyeol’s pretty in amber as they laugh and poke fun, even when they’re getting too old for such things.

"Did you see Ahrong after the meeting?" Sehun laughs. "She would hang off Himchan's knot if he gave her the chance."

"Maybe next Cradle Night," Baekhyun says, wiggling his eyebrows before slapping a hand to his forehead. "Oh no, imagine the puppies."

"With his nose? And her teeth?" Sehun snorts. "I'd rather not."

"Ugh," Chanyeol groans. "Can we discuss something other than Ahrong and Himchan? She smells like desperation, and he smells like fish."

Sehun erupts into a fit of laughter, and Baekhyun joins them both, but soon after, he looks at the rushing water of the river, trying to figure it all out.

"What does she even see in him?" Baekhyun asks.

"Well, he's large," Sehun comments.

"What's so good about someone being large?" he wonders.

"Carry your things?" Sehun says as if it's obvious.

"You need an alpha for that?" Chanyeol asks.

"No, but if someone offers, I'm not so foolish as to turn them down," Sehun smiles, and he points between the two of them. "You two. You're the foolish ones."

"Foolish?" Chanyeol screeches. "Me?"

"You, the biggest fool of them all," Sehun says, and he gets up on his knees, holds his hands up to the sky. "Moon, please fetch Chanyeol an alpha who will put up with all of his nonsense and keep him busy enough that Baekhyun and I might find solace in this lifetime."

Chanyeol screams like a banshee or something worse, the sound ringing out along the river, and he tackles Sehun to the ground as they wrestle.

Baekhyun watches them with a smile on his face, leaning against his rock, thinking about what he might feel when alphas come into Chanyeol and Sehun's lives. It has been years since his fight with Sehun, and sometimes he worries. Could I fall back to where I was? Could I become that person again?

He deliberates as he watches them get river mud all over their clothes, grousing with mussed hair when they release they have to jump into the water before they're to return home.

They splash back and forth, and Baekhyun's grin widens, realizing that he will be happy for them. Perhaps this is what she meant when she talked about love. Maybe she knew that he would have to face his jealousy head on in order to keep the friends he has held for a lifetime, wrapped up in buckskin and silver. Maybe she knew that he would turn sour in the sun like berries gone foul, that he would need to find his way back to joy. Maybe she knew that love, affection, even friendship would be hard to swallow when he felt so unworthy of it, but so desperate for it.

"Hey!" Chanyeol calls, and Baekhyun snaps out of his reverie. "Are you joining us for a midnight swim?"

"It's a _bathe_, we’re bathing," Sehun corrects, but he waves Baekhyun in with a smile. "You need it, though. You smell too happy, and you'll make everyone hungry for pie."

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, but he steps out of his clothes before stepping into the water, lets it wash him clean.  
  


☽

  
  
During the winters, they hole up in their homes, and Baekhyun doesn't see much of Sehun or Chanyeol, doesn't see much of anyone besides his parents. It gets tiresome after a while, all the resting, and each spring, he steps out after the frost with a renewed sense of purpose. After all, spring means planting, and planting means he finally gets to go back to work. He enjoys getting his hands dirty, the soil under his fingernails. He leads the planters that spring, and getting to order people around for a change, that feels _wonderful_.

When he turns three-and-twenty, Chanyeol and Sehun take him hunting, and they run so far from the pack's grounds that Baekhyun doesn't even think the two of them know where they are anymore.

It feels good just to run, just to get out and do something with his hands after long periods of rest, and the stretch in his legs feels delicious, bone-deep satisfying. They manage a pretty kill, several foxes and even a ten-point buck that Chanyeol weeps over, and as they run home, Baekhyun thinks that he could live a very happy life, doing this forever. If they added two alphas, a pair for Chanyeol and Sehun... five would feel very full. His life would be bursting.

Once they're home, standing in front of the fire, Baekhyun bows deeply to them, whispers "Thank you," and they stare at him with wrinkled brows.

"What are you thanking us for?" Sehun asks, and he kicks dust onto Baekhyun's feet. "See you after breakfast tomorrow."

"Yes, see you!" Chanyeol says, and they turn, Chanyeol's arm slung over Sehun's shoulders, the pair of them smelling like flowering citrus trees, something buried in the earth, deeply rooted.

Baekhyun watches them go, smiles to himself. Let the love in? He believes he finally has.  
  


☽

  
  
Baekhyun sees the pack from the north visit, and the northwest's pack too. Sehun turns his nose up at the alphas, seemingly stuck on Minseok, but Chanyeol sniffs around eagerly, trailing after one even taller than he.

"Isn't he _beautiful_?" Chanyeol whimpers. "Isn't he _perfect_?"

"At the feasts, he purposefully avoids you," Sehun says. "What's so perfect about an alpha that wants nothing to do with you, simpleton?"

"He smells like jerky," Chanyeol says wistfully. "I think I've fallen in love."

"Baekhyun," Sehun calls. "Help him."

"Don't trail after an alpha who wants nothing to do with you," Baekhyun says.

"But he's _lovely_," Chanyeol says. "And I was told, once upon a time, that the alpha I'd meet would be tall. Incredibly so!"

"Maybe he's tall of spirit," Baekhyun offers. "A very short, but mentally tall person!"

"Hm." Chanyeol puts his hand to his chin. "Perhaps you're right." His eyes widen, his scent gleeful. "Oh, maybe it's meant to be Minseok!"

"Not this again," Sehun groans. "As I've explained to on numerous occasions before this, Minseok has been claimed."

"By whom?"

"Me, of course!" Sehun exclaims. "I'm saving myself for him!"

"Oh, enough of that," Chanyeol laughs. "You're meant for something else. _I'm_ meant for Minseok."

Baekhyun watches happily as they argue over the alpha from the southeastern shores, for at the very least, Chanyeol has moved on from the man who smells like meat.  
  


☽

  
  
He is four-and-twenty when, at the meeting, they speak again of the southeastern shores, the jeweled coast.

Immediately, his heart leaps into his throat, even when he wishes it wouldn't. He is sure they can smell him, smell his interest, smell the cinnamon against his skin. He is whisked away to that night so many moons ago, the night when Junmyeon kissed him, the scent of the ocean surrounding him, drowning him, pulling him under. He remembers the way Junmyeon touched him, remembers the way he smelled, the way he smiled and laughed and said Baekhyun's name. So many moons ago. It's been so long.

It shouldn't matter. It was a silly thing, and he was still no more than a pup parading about with his new, mature scent. Now, he is a man grown. He has a life. He has a future. It doesn't include Junmyeon. It is simple, and while the loneliness might creep in some stormy nights, that doesn’t mean he can’t survive it. He is strong. He doesn’t need anything besides himself.

But when Baekhyun thinks of him, he feels a beam of heat in his stomach, the lethargic, slow sort, and he swallows thickly, trying to stop the pounding of blood in his ears so that he can listen in.

"They will prepare over the next moon for our arrival," one of the leaders says. "We will send a party of two-and-twenty, so if you'd like to volunteer along with the heads, best see me before you retire for the evening."

Baekhyun looks at the fire, the swimming oranges and reds. He feels Sehun's gaze upon his shoulders like the stole wrapping him up. Baekhyun dutifully ignores it as the meeting progresses, as they talk about rebuilding stores after long winters and rebuilding homes after heavy snowfalls.

When the meeting adjourns, and the wolves split into their walking groups to travel on home, Chanyeol grabs him by the wrist, his hand wrapped around where Baekhyun's bracelet sits.

"What are you doing?" Baekhyun asks, mildly horrified, but Chanyeol is brutally strong, growing bigger than a house as he settles into his life as a builder, the muscles along his shoulders and arms thick. "Where are you taking me?"

"To the head, of course," Chanyeol says. "We're going to travel together."

"T-Travel?" Baekhyun stutters. "Travel where?"

Chanyeol smiles at him like he's dense, and he supposes he is, blind to what should be clear as day. Chanyeol means to make him go on the visit.

"Southeast," Chanyeol says. "I think it's high time that we saw the beach, don't you think?"

"No, I think I would be perfectly happy staying here," Baekhyun says, and he attempts to wriggle out of Chanyeol's hold to no avail. "Ah, you're so... uselessly strong! And for what!"

"For moments exactly like this one! Now if you would, please, let's go to the head together. If it looks like you're struggling, I'm sure he'll have some questions, and I’d rather avoid those, as I’m not very good at thinking of excuses in the heat of the moment."

Baekhyun frowns, lets himself be dragged over, standing in a little circle of people before the head looks to them both. The shock registers in his scent, burnt wheat.

"Chanyeol?" he asks. "And Baekhyun as well?"

"The two of us, sir," Chanyeol bows, and he puts his hand on Baekhyun's back, pressing him down into a bow alongside him. "We would be honored to be selected."

The man looks them over as if he’s assessing a hut for damage after a big storm, and Baekhyun straightens his spine up, tries to look as presentable as possible. Some parts of him might be damaged, but inside, he’s sure that there’s something worth keeping around. He’s confident he could be polished to shine like the summer sun.

“Very well,” the man says with a close-lipped smile. “We head out in three weeks time. Be prepared, won’t you?”

“Oh yes, sir,” Chanyeol says, grinning at him with all his teeth showing, and the man has no choice but to mirror him. “Thank you, sir, we won’t let you down.”

“No, I’m sure you won’t,” he answers, and Baekhyun hopes with all his heart that he’s right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey gang, sorry this took...... [checks watch] two weeks???? that sounds terrible when i say it like that oh my god,,,,, two weeks,,, i am a monster. i dont really have any excuses, it just took forever for me to buckle down and write it. i have been writing other things, such as my offerings for the upcoming sebaek fest and the monsterfest, and some,,,,, breath of the wild fanfic that is my literal passion project (GIANT SHARK BOYFRIEND + SMALL ANGRY HYLIAN FOR LIFE) but who cares about all that. 
> 
> i hope you liked this chapter. i know bbh was bitchy abt the whole sehun being a free bitch thing, but emotional turmoil can often make you do, say, and feel things that you wouldnt normally do, say, and feel. that doesnt like, give u free reign to treat people however, but it does mean that you're dealing with a lot of like,,,,, Emotions! anyway, i just wanted to say that. pls dont hate him too much. hes a hurting boy, and i am protecting him with my life. 
> 
> okay, enough rambling. i hope to see you all again real soon with chapter 7. this is getting to be a lot longer than i initially thought. i dont know how long it'll be in the end but,,,, maybe another 8 chapters? who knows. thanks for following along. leave a comment if ur feeling frisky. love you all very much. 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	7. fires of the hearth

Sehun stomps his feet on the day they are set to leave. 

Baekhyun sits on the floor next to Chanyeol, his bag between his legs, and he watches them go back and forth as if it were a game of catch. 

"It was _your_ brilliant plan, so I don't know why you're complaining about it now," Chanyeol says haughtily as he throws his things into his canvas rucksack. "You can't expect me to apologize when _you_ were the one coming up with the idea in the first place." 

"Yes, that's all very well and good but as you can see, and _as I've explained_, I've changed my mind," Sehun says. "I want to come. I want to go along too." 

"It's too late now," Chanyeol tells him. "You know that." 

Sehun stomps his feet again, pouting, and the scent that wafts over smells like a flower lit on fire. 

"But exceptions can be made!" Sehun argues. "For me!" 

"For no one," Chanyeol sings happily. "It will just be me, Baekhyun, and Minseok, and the whole wide ocean for us to share." 

Sehun stomps his feet again, an even stronger pout than before, and Chanyeol throws his head back as he cackles. 

"There should be a truce," Sehun says. "You should vow to me that you won't pursue him while you're away." 

"And why would I do something foolish like that?" Chanyeol asks. "Would you do the same for me?" 

Sehun groans, and Baekhyun is delighted to see him squirm, looking up to the ceiling of Chanyeol's home as though he can find some answers there.

"Fine. No, I wouldn't, but can't you be the bigger wolf here?" 

"I don't wanna be the bigger wolf," Chanyeol says. "I'm already the bigger wolf." 

Sehun narrows his eyes, and Baekhyun has known the two of them long enough that he can predict what comes next. Sehun will tackle Chanyeol to the nest of his blankets, they will wrestle, and nothing will come of it. 

But that isn't what happens. Instead, Sehun genuflects, his hands on his knee, his forehead touched to his hands, and Baekhyun lets a little gasp of air slip out. 

"Wh-What are you doing?" Chanyeol asks. "Get up, you fool." 

"No," Sehun says. "I'm serious." He looks up, meets Chanyeol's eye. "Please?" 

There is a moment then, between them, and Baekhyun almost feels as though he shouldn't be present for it, so tense with emotion. Their scents mix as they look at each other, gazes held, and Baekhyun breathes in the citrus and the flowers, the scents of summer. Chanyeol breaks into a goofy smile, walks over, pulls Sehun into an embrace. He rests his hands on the small of Sehun's back, the dip of it alluring. They sigh as they hug, a basic comfort. 

"I promise," Chanyeol says, and he is slow to withdraw his chest from Sehun's, but when he does, he looks into Sehun's eyes, another frighteningly deep moment between them. "But after..." 

"All is fair," Sehun grins at him. "Thank you, my friend." 

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, but it is good-natured, makes Baekhyun smile. 

"Oh, anything for you." 

It is then that Sehun leans forward and presses a kiss to Chanyeol's cheek before excitedly pouring out of the room. Chanyeol, wide-eyed, holds his hand to his face, a little blush blooming on him. 

"I truly can't understand either of you," Baekhyun whispers. 

"No, neither can I," Chanyeol mutters, stuck staring at the door.  
  


☽

  
  
The road southeast is simple to navigate, and they run through the day, passing by forests and thickets so deep and dense that when Baekhyun looks to his left and to his right, they almost feel like walls of green closing in on him. He does his best to pay them no mind, keeps his nose forward, the ground under his paws comforting.

They set camp at night, the tents pitched in whatever clearing they can find nearest to the river. Baekhyun keeps mostly to Chanyeol's side, doesn't congregate much, but when they tell stories around the fire, he listens eagerly, reminded of the Listener's voice in his ear. 

They return to their tents after they’ve supped, after the moon rises, and Baekhyun lays in the furs that smell of home, wondering if it was such a good idea to take this journey after all. 

"Are you well?" Chanyeol asks, and he brushes his hand through Baekhyun's hair, resting it on his shoulder when he's through. "You've been quiet these last days." 

"I'm well," Baekhyun says, and this time, it isn't a lie. "I'm just..." 

"Thinking?" Chanyeol smiles. "Sehun told me you might think on the run here." 

"He's very clever, isn't he?"

"Yes, very clever," Chanyeol agrees, and he stares at the fabric stretched at the top of the tent. 

“What else did he say, hm?” Baekhyun prods, his fingertip in Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Did he tell you that you’d have to keep an eye on me?” 

“Of course,” Chanyeol says. “He worries over you like a mother would worry over a pup.” 

“And you? Do you worry over me?” 

Chanyeol turns to him with a sparkling smile, big hopeful eyes. 

“Why do you think I’m here with you?” Chanyeol says. “Now, come.” He throws a fur over Baekhyun’s body. “Time to rest. There’s still quite a bit of road left before we reach the water.”  
  


☽

  
  
The final morning of the journey, Baekhyun holds a funny feeling inside his stomach, but once he shifts, it dispels, and he is able to enjoy the cool wind through his fur, the soft earth underneath his paws. He loses himself in that, in that freedom, and he leads the pack of two-and-twenty, more eager to run than he’s ever been before.

Behind him, the wolves howl, and he yips once the dirt underfoot begins to turn sandy, the mountains stunning in the distance. They run with light hearts and lighter spirits, and before he knows it, they are at the tree-lined pack grounds. 

They shift, and Baekhyun rests a hand on his chest, feels the thumping of his heart, and the nerves from earlier in the day rear their head, swirling up into his throat. 

Chanyeol grabs him by the shoulder, giving him a goofy smile before tossing his braid over his shoulder. 

“All right?” he asks. 

“Y-Yes,” Baekhyun says. “You?” 

“Never better,” Chanyeol says, and he looks around from side to side. “What now?” 

“The heads are to go make first touch,” another wolf, Nara, says, and Baekhyun watches as the wolves carefully step over the line, the trees swallowing them up as they go out of sight. “We’re allowed to wander around outside the grounds until they return. Should be about… midday?” 

“Wander, did you say?” Chanyeol asks excitedly, and he drops his pack to the sandy dirt before he grabs Baekhyun’s hand, pulls him off. “Come on.” 

“Hey!” 

But Baekhyun drops his pack, lets himself be dragged along the posts that denote the line of their claimed land. Chanyeol laughs as they move through the trees, talking about _something_, but the anticipation is boiling Baekhyun from the inside out, and he can only listen so hard when they are finally, finally here. 

“Here,” Chanyeol says. “Just up ahead.”

“Up ahead what?” 

“The sea.” 

They see sky as the trees grow fewer and farther between, and the earth shifts from dirt and rocks to total sand. Baekhyun stands at the edge of the forest as Chanyeol walks forward, and Baekhyun stares at the demarcation, forest and beach. 

“Come on,” Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun looks up, sees him waving Baekhyun over. 

The waters… blue and crystal clear. He stares out at the horizon where it all melts in the sun, and he is overwhelmed. How has he been missing this? Such beauty and wonder. 

When he breathes in, his chest moving hard, he smells Junmyeon, smells _the ocean_. He steps forward, feels the salt on his skin already, the breeze off the water filled with an electric energy that surges through him. He takes another step onto the warm white sand. 

Baekhyun likes it here. Likes the calm. He shuts his eyes, lets the sunshine warm his skin, lets the cold ocean breeze cool him. The wind ruffles his hair, and he reaches up, takes his hair from the braid, satisfied when it falls free. 

Chanyeol walks over, staring at him. 

“What?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Stay right here, all right?” Chanyeol says, and he leans forward, kisses Baekhyun on the cheek, a move that makes Baekhyun sputter. 

Chanyeol runs off, leaving Baekhyun to call out after him. 

“Where are you going, you great fool?” 

Chanyeol spins around, running backwards. “Going to get my paper and charcoal! You look so lovely, I’m going to draw a picture!” 

“You don’t draw!” Baekhyun shouts. 

“I do now!” Chanyeol smiles. “Be back soon!” 

Baekhyun groans as he watches Chanyeol disappear back into the trees. He hopes Chanyeol doesn’t get lost; he’d hate for a search to be the most memorable moment of their first day visiting the new pack. 

Baekhyun turns back to the ocean, kicks his feet through the sand, and he watches the waves rise, fall, clawing at the sand as they return from whence they came. It is beautiful, mesmerizing, and he stands there, still as an overwhelming wave of joy crashes over him. 

Then, in his periphery, Baekhyun spots movement. He whips his head around, expecting it to be Chanyeol, but instead, there is a girl. A small girl. She is busy by the water’s edge, far away from him. She wanders closer to him slowly, seemingly unaware of his presence, but when she gets close enough, her bright golden eyes go wide as she blinks at him. 

He would know the eyes anywhere, knows immediately that this is Junmyeon's daughter, that this is the Noeul that he held in his arms six years past. 

She is taller now, obviously, and Baekhyun studies her as she studies him. Her hair is long, dark, and plaited in twin braids, the ends tied with red and gold. She is dressed in a prim buckskin dress that stretches to her knees, embroidered at the collar and wrists with a decorative swirling pattern, and Baekhyun can tell just from looking at it that it is soft. Carefully made. He wonders if Junmyeon crafted it, whether it was someone else who made it for her. 

Her eyes are that same dark gold, glimmering with light, sparkling, and Baekhyun thinks that he has never seen such a pretty pup, even with the curious look on her face. 

"Do I know you, sir?" the child asks, and she stares up at Baekhyun with a distrust that makes Baekhyun laugh. 

"No, lady," Baekhyun says. "But I know well of you. I'm happy to see you are well, little one." 

He bows to her, bares his neck, and when he stands back up, she is full out _glaring_ at him. 

“I’m not supposed to talk to strange wolves,” she says, and she squints at him. “Is this a test? Are you testing me?” 

Baekhyun laughs again, shaking his head from side to side. He can barely remember what it was like to be a child, but some things about her remind him of it. 

“No, my lady, it is no test,” Baekhyun says, and his mouth goes a little dry as he swallows. “I am… forgive me, I shall introduce myself. My name is Baekhyun. I’m of the central pack. We are on a visit.” He bows again, and when he stands back up, he can see that she is still distrustful of him. “Uh, I am an old friend of your father’s.” 

“My father?” she says, and for a moment, she mulls over the words. “What do you know of him? And be quick about it, or else I will know you’re telling a falsehood.” She folds her arms across her chest. “And you should know what happens to wolves who tell tall tales.” 

Baekhyun smiles, and he sees a spirit in the pup that is indelible, fiery and strong. 

“His name is Junmyeon,” Baekhyun offers, and he gestures to her. “And you, little one, are Noeul. Aren’t you?” 

Her gold eyes go wide again, and she steps back, squinting again. 

“How do you know me, sir?” She looks him up and down. “Are you a spy?” 

“Would that the story was more interesting than it is,” Baekhyun says. “When you were quite young, just a babe in your father’s arms, your pack visited mine.” 

“Oh,” Noeul says, and she looks at the ground. “It must have been just after Mother died.” 

Baekhyun’s stomach tenses at the mention, and he bows, says, “May the moon guard her and protect her.” He stands, and he smiles weakly. “I offer you my most sincere apologies, lady.” 

She frowns, tears in her eyes, and she angrily wipes them away. 

“Thank you, but it doesn’t matter,” she says. And she turns starts to walk away, seashells clutched in her tiny fist before she turns back, offering Baekhyun a stiff bow. “Sir.” 

“L-Lady,” Baekhyun says, bowing his head to her, watching her walk back to her side of the forest. 

She is very reserved when she wants to be, he notes. Very like her father. Baekhyun smiles at the thought, wonders if Junmyeon would like to hear that, whether he would shy away from it or redden because of it. 

At his back, he hears movement through the wood, so he turns, spots Chanyeol running at him, paper and charcoal in hand. 

“Who was that?” Chanyeol asks with a grin. “A girl?” 

“Junmyeon’s daughter,” Baekhyun says. “Do you remember?” 

“_Remember_,” Chanyeol scoffs. “She cried so loud, I’m quite sure that I’ll never be able to forget.” 

Baekhyun smiles, thinking back to the little pup in his arms, the one that calmed when she smelled his scent. She has grown well. He’s happy for it. 

“Come on,” Chanyeol says, and he shoves Baekhyun by the shoulder until he is standing back to the water, feet drenched in the sea. “There. Now stay very still.” 

Chanyeol plants himself in the sand, sketching vaguely with the stick of coal, and Baekhyun thinks of the little girl who still smelled like powder and milk, but of smoke too.  
  


☽

  
  
The midday sun rises overhead, and he and Chanyeol walk back to the line of the southeast’s grounds to be greeted by the heads of the pack. They grab their packs, walk in two single-file lines through the grounds, and once they reach the center of the grounds, they are greeted by a welcome party that cheers for their arrival.

He scans the crowd of wolves, the scents welcoming and distracting, and he looks for his face, the familiar, friendly face that has kept him company these past years.

When Baekhyun finally finds him, Junmyeon is already staring at him and Baekhyun feels his cheeks go pink as Junmyeon offers him a shy smile. Baekhyun waves, just a small movement, and Junmyeon returns it as the alpha of the southeast speaks, offers them home and hearth for the next fortnight. 

The crowds disperse after the welcoming, and Junmyeon crosses to him immediately, smelling of the deep, endless water. 

Junmyeon bows before Baekhyun, and Baekhyun mirrors it, bending with a little smile on his face.

"I am so happy to see you once more," Junmyeon says, and his smile is such a welcome sight, warm clothes in the winter time, cold water in the summer heat.

"As am I," Baekhyun says, and when he rises up, Junmyeon is still smiling at him.

Baekhyun just barely resists the urge to pull him into a hug. It has been a very long time, nearly six summers. That sort of thing wouldn't be appropriate. It doesn't stop Baekhyun from wanting it. From craving it.

The feelings that he suppressed come roaring back to the surface, bubbles rising to the top of boiling water.

"H-Have you been well?" Baekhyun asks. "These last summers?"

Junmyeon nods, holds his hands behind his back. "Quite well, thank you. A-And you?" He nods towards Baekhyun. "Have you been well?"

"Quite well," Baekhyun says. "Thank you."

They stand there in silence, and Baekhyun struggles to find something to say. _I've thought about you often over the years. What's it like here? Are you able to show me around the way I showed you around? Do you ever think about the night we kissed? Do you dream about it the way I have?_

He stares into Junmyeon's eyes, smells the sea and the freedom that comes along with it. _Could we be free together?_, he wonders. _Could there be nothing but this?_

Suddenly, noise shatters through his dreams, noise by the name of Chanyeol.

"Oh, there you are!" He throws his arm around Baekhyun's neck, goofy as he waves at Junmyeon. "I’ve just been off greeting Minseok, but it’s nice to see you once more."

"And you," Junmyeon offers. "Very good to see you. You've arrived not long ago, then?"

"No, not long at all," Chanyeol answers, and he looks up to the sky, to the sun. "How much longer until the feast then? A few hours?"

"Yes, probably just enough time to get settled in," Junmyeon smiles. "Shall I show you all to the tents?"

Baekhyun follows him, tries not to look too desperate as he trails behind.

The southeast's accommodations are plush, with wide octagonal tents in neat lines. There is little brush around them, a small brook nearby, and a massive stone hearth that a beta wolf stokes as they approach. Baekhyun sees the rest of his pack filing in, picking tents, and Chanyeol excitedly jumps into one.

When Baekhyun parts the curtain, Chanyeol is rolling on the furs at the floor of the tent.

"They're soft," Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

He turns back to Junmyeon, bows to him. "Thank you for your escort. I look forward to the feast this eve." He grins at Junmyeon, hopes that he looks and sounds and smells like a wolf who simply misses an old friend.

"As do I," Junmyeon says, and he bows before he takes his leave, quickly shifting into his wolf before running off.

His wolf is small, slender, and black, and Baekhyun smells the water on his fur even as he runs.

Baekhyun bites his lip as he remembers what it was like to run together. What it was like to have Junmyeon chase after him. He chastises himself for the foolish thoughts. He was mated. Mates are for life and for death. There's no way around it. It's a silly thing to dream about, and he must stop it at once.

"Hey there," Chanyeol calls, and Baekhyun turns, Chanyeol's red braid splitting the dark grey furs like a river of blood. "What are you thinking about, you silly boy?"

"I'm not a silly boy," Baekhyun sneers. "_You're_ the silly boy."

"Ah, yes, but at least I _admit it_." Chanyeol smiles. "Come. Settle in with me. It was a long journey. I could go for a nap."

Baekhyun falls to the furs, lets Chanyeol cuddle up close to him, and he is lulled to sleep by the scent of orange blossoms, fruits in the summer.  
  


☽

  
  
The feast is as grand as Baekhyun can imagine, much different than the feasts he's attended back home. Firstly, the hall in the southeast is built of sandstone, dusty and pink. It glows red with torches hung along the crackling walls, a romantic haze to the large room. Columns of the sandstone divide the hall, and tables of stone bear the fruits of the feast. Woven tapestries are hung from the walls, and they depict scenes of calm waters, stormy seas, all the beauty and the horror that the ocean has to offer.

At the head of the hall, there is another grand hearth, burning and blazing as the wolves all file in. The place smells like joy, like celebration, and Baekhyun lets it infect him, lets the excitement build in his stomach along with his hunger.

The head wolf of the southeast is a wizened old woman with white hair piled on top of her head, the bun decorated with small braids and wildflowers. In a distant, fuzzy sort of way, she reminds Baekhyun of the Listener, though the memory of her now brings him peace instead of pain. She rests peacefully. She lives among the stars, and may the moon shield her and protect her.

An elbow shoves into his side, and Baekhyun makes a wounded noise, reels back, poised to strike Chanyeol back, but he makes a _psst_ sort of sound, and Baekhyun has to question it.

"Look," Chanyeol whispers, and he gestures with his head to the side, still staring straight forward at the southeast's alpha.

Surreptitiously, secretively, Baekhyun spies to their right, sees Minseok and Junmyeon standing across the room from them, Noeul stood just in front of them both. Junmyeon rests his hand on her left shoulder, Minseok's hand on her right, and Baekhyun's heart somersaults in his chest for reasons unknown.

He stares at them for longer than is strictly necessary, but as the alpha gives her soft-spoken speech, he takes the quiet moment to note the subtle differences in them now, six summers later.

Wiry muscle has lined their bodies with pleasant swells, and Baekhyun lets his eyes wander as he glides down Junmyeon's chest, down his stomach, his legs. A foreign, but pleasant sensation begins to snake up Baekhyun's legs from his feet to his thighs, and he feels his body twitch. He adjusts his standing position. Perhaps the journey took more out of him than he previously thought.

Over the course of the speech, however, Baekhyun becomes more and more uncomfortable as the snaking spirals up his body, starts to wrap its way around each and every one of his limbs. Baekhyun shivers, a chill running up the back of his neck, and he touches it, covers it with his hand.

It is then that Chanyeol turns to face him.

"What?" Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol leans in, sticks his nose at the crook of Baekhyun's neck, and the tickle of it makes Baekhyun bite his lip.

"Oh, moon," Chanyeol says, and he tugs Baekhyun by the arm, threading him through the crowd of wolves until they're back at the door to the hall. "Oh, moon, oh _moon._"

"What?" Baekhyun says, and he scratches at his neck, and as they step out into the empty night, the tingling along his skin starts to worsen. "What's wrong?"

"You're—oh _moon,_ Sehun should have come, shouldn't he have?"

Chanyeol begins to stalk away into the darkness, and Baekhyun is left to follow him, hurrying after him, absently itching away at himself. No matter what he does, though, the tickling doesn't stop. Nothing gives him any relief, and he's beginning to feel a bit odd.

Chanyeol only stops once they're stood in front of their shared tent, and he quickly shoves Baekhyun inside.

"Hey!" Baekhyun screeches. "What are you doing?"

"Guarding your door," Chanyeol says. "Sehun said something might happen."

"S—what's Sehun got to do with any of this?"

"He said I'm to be the one to watch over you, in case anything troublesome happens when we arrived," Chanyeol says, his voice muffled through the tent. "So I'm doing my duty. You stay there. I'll protect you."

The words send a small, uncomfortable shudder through him, and Baekhyun shakes his head, tries to clear the fog in his head.

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you getting hot?" Chanyeol asks. "Take off your clothes."

Baekhyun blinks, his eyes wet, and he realizes then that Chanyeol is right. His body is on fire. Quickly, obediently, Baekhyun pulls himself from his shirt and pants, the fabric and buckskin sticking to him where he sweats.

"Are you all right?" Chanyeol asks. "Are you feeling it now?"

He doesn't understand, doesn't get it, and then, of course, it all hits him, all at once.

Baekhyun feels his body swelling with sticky wet heat, and when he reaches between his legs, he is overwhelmed by how much he's leaked.

"C-Chanyeol," he whispers furiously. "_Chanyeol_."

Chanyeol sticks his head inside the tent, and he reels back.

"Oh moon, Sehun is going to kill me," Chanyeol says. "You absolutely _reek_. I've never smelled a heat like yours."

"I-I'm—?"

"You're in heat," Chanyeol says. "Oh moon, okay, just stay calm, all right? Don't panic."

"I don't know," Baekhyun says, and he blatantly disobeys Chanyeol, the panic rising up in his throat. "I don't know, I'm..."

"Don't panic," Chanyeol says. "Don't get upset. Everything will be well. I promise. Just go with it. Let it take you."

But his body trembles violently as hot wet pleasure begins to soak him to the bone. He can't focus on anything besides it, can't think of anything besides getting something around his cock, getting something inside him. It is terrifyingly big, this pleasure that surrounds him. He doesn't know if he's ever experienced anything like it, so all-encompassing. He barely notices when Chanyeol exits the tent, the curtains tied shut.

It overtakes him in a fucking wave, a riptide dragging him in. He struggles in the throw of blankets and furs, naked body writhing as he finally lets go, finally lets himself swim amidst the arousal. Moon help him. He'll never be able to feel anything besides hot all over. He'll never be able to think of anything besides this delicious heat again.

He didn't think he was capable of this. He didn't think it would ever happen to him, not like this. It is soaring inside him, the desire, and he sticks his fingers in his mouth and moans around them. He can still smell the salt of Junmyeon's sweat. He can almost fucking taste it. He wishes he could. He wishes he could lick him all over, lick his body clean.

Instinct moves him the way it never has before. Baekhyun reaches down between his legs, shoves a finger inside himself roughly, and groans. He's never felt like this. It's like a fever, but it aches. He hurriedly touches himself, a fist gripped around his cock, pulling harshly, and he plunges another finger inside himself, moaning as the wet sounds are swallowed by the blankets. His cock pulses as he shudders through a weak orgasm, spilling over his stomach.

His eyes flutter shut, his cock oversensitive and red. He reaches up a hand, rubs the release into his skin. If Junmyeon and he were together, if Junmyeon wanted to mark him with his scent, would he spill onto Baekhyun's skin like this? Would he massage it into him? Would he let it permeate, let it mix with Baekhyun's scent until they smelled so thickly of the other that no one would be able to tell their scents apart?

Baekhyun moans his name, moans _Junmyeon_, licks the come away from his fingers imagining it was Junmyeon's. He reaches back down his body, thinks of Junmyeon laying his body along Baekhyun's, over top him, caging him in, and as soon as he thrusts his fingers back inside himself, he comes again with a cry ripped from his throat, animal and distant. For a moment, he thinks he might lose control of himself fully, let the wolf shift into him, but he just barely hangs on, settles back down into the blankets that are drenched with him now.

He comes twice more before he feels rung out like a wet rag, and he falls to sleep easily, easier than it's ever been before.  
  


☽

  
  
Baekhyun wakes, and he can't tell whether it is morning or night, but the ache inside him is angry with him, only sated when he has himself impaled on his fingers, and only _just_ sated. He attempts to work up an eagerness that he's lost, all his enthusiasm staining the bedclothes. He is weak with lust now, barely able to keep his eyes open as he fingers himself, shoving them as deep as he can manage.

The only thing that keeps him going is the thought of Junmyeon next to him, the thought of seeing him again. What would Junmyeon do to him if he was here? If he smelled the heat on Baekhyun? Baekhyun likes to imagine that it would send him into a rut, that they could spend their fevers together. He hammers his fingers inside himself as he thinks about Junmyeon pushing inside him, thrusting hard and fast, whispering into his ear. He is lost in the fantasy, can practically hear Junmyeon's voice echoing in the dampness of the tent.

_I want to knot you_, he says, and Baekhyun cries out, the orgasm pushing out of him in three great, terrible waves.

His chest heaves as he catches his breath, and he tilts his head up with the last of his strength, looking at the mess he's made of himself.

Weakly, he lays his head back down, eyes shutting, sleep taking him once more.  
  


☽

  
  
"Baekhyun?"

His eyes open slowly, like the sun coming up over the trees. He sees Chanyeol peeking his head inside, mouth and nose covered with a cloth.

"Hi there," Chanyeol says gently, and Baekhyun watches his brow raise like he's trying to be as careful as he can. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yes," Baekhyun says, and he is surprised at just how hoarse his voice has gotten. "How long have I been here?"

"Just two days," Chanyeol whispers, and he creeps inside the tent, a flask of water in his hand. "I've been feeding you."

"Oh." He doesn't remember any of that, only remembers the heat waking him from dreams, only remembers the sticky sweetness, bathing in warm waters, boiling inside them. "Thank you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Chanyeol mutters, and he lowers the cloth from around his face, smiles at Baekhyun. "These things can be..."

"Messy?"

"Unpredictable is what I was going to say," Chanyeol grins. He takes the cloth in his hand, spills water from the flask onto it. "It may feel ice cold. I'm sorry."

He sweeps the wet rag across Baekhyun's forehead, and it feels like he is being swept back to the winters of his youth when things were so much colder. Baekhyun wants to hold himself still, but he is so weak, and the shivers rack through him. Chanyeol sweeps the rag over each of his limbs, and he feels himself freezing over like the river during snowstorms. His teeth chatter in his mouth. 

“I know, I know,” Chanyeol says, holding Baekhyun’s hand in his. “It’s almost over, I swear it.” 

Baekhyun lets Chanyeol wash him clean, the sweat and the release from his skin, and he is grateful that he has Chanyeol at his side. Baekhyun shuts his eyes as Chanyeol finishes, hands him small pieces of bread, meat, and fruit to swallow before letting him drink the flask of water empty. 

“All right,” Chanyeol says, and he pats Baekhyun on the shoulder, even that touch enough to make Baekhyun shiver with pleasure. “Try to rest now.” 

“I’ll do my best,” Baekhyun mutters, and Chanyeol is grinning at him lewdly when he exits from the tent.  
  


☽

  
  
Baekhyun’s first true heat breaks on the third eve, and on the morrow, Chanyeol tells him that it’s exceedingly normal.

“Mine have lasted as little as two and then as long as five,” Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun dunks the furs into the water to rinse the soap from them. “I’ve heard stories of an omega staying in heat for a full week, though.” 

“What a nightmare,” Baekhyun says. 

“Oh, but wouldn’t it be so _romantic_ if you had someone to spend it with?” Chanyeol sighs. 

Baekhyun dunks himself into the water along with the furs, lets the residual heat melt away in the cold river. He furiously washes the furs of the stinking heat until they smell of nothing but soap, and then he hangs them from the trees to dry, stepping into a towel, Chanyeol wrapping him up in a hug. 

“How do you feel?” Chanyeol asks. “Are you well?” 

“I’m well,” Baekhyun says, and he closes his eyes. “I only wish…”

“What do you wish?” 

“I wish I hadn’t missed so much time,” Baekhyun says. “The visit is nearly a quarter through, and the only thing I’ve seen is the inside of our tent.” 

Chanyeol laughs, ruffles Baekhyun’s hair dry before he pushes Baekhyun out of the embrace to pull on his clean clothes. Baekhyun steps into his pants, cinching them tight and fastening the tie around his waist. 

“There is plenty of time,” Chanyeol advises him. “Just think… how many feasts are left? Ten!” Baekhyun’s heart sinks in his chest. He doesn’t care so much about the feasts. Doesn’t want to _admit_ what he truly cares for. “Ah, do not look so depressed. You will have what you desire.”

Baekhyun scoffs as he pulls his shirt over his head, a few stray drops of water falling from his hair down the back of his neck. 

He cannot ever have what he _truly_ desires, and he knows that.  
  


☽

  
  
They break fast in their camp, cinnamon oats and fried eggs and mint green tea, and it makes Baekhyun feel more like himself. He settles his hands on his stomach after they’ve finished, leaning back against one of the felled trees that they use for seating in the small camp. Chanyeol talks, fills up the silence easily as he's wont to do. Baekhyun looks up to the clear blue sky overhead, not even dotted with the white wisps of clouds. Baekhyun closes his eyes as he relaxes, the music of Chanyeol's deep voice coaxing him calm, and then, when he inhales, he smells salt. The sea. He smiles.

"_Baekhyun._" 

Baekhyun pops one eye open to see Chanyeol furiously tilting his head in the opposite direction, so Baekhyun opens his other eye, sits up to see Junmyeon approaching, Minseok in tow. 

Baekhyun stands up just as Chanyeol gets to his feet, and they both fix their hair. He fusses with his single-strand braid, laying it along his shoulder, and he attempts to look casual as they approach, when they bow in greeting. 

"Morning," Junmyeon offers. 

"Good morning," Baekhyun says, and he looks at the ground. 

"I just wanted to... to come see how you were," Junmyeon says, hands behind his back as he turns to his friend. "A-And Minseok too." 

"Yes, we heard," Minseok says. "So we just wanted to make sure you were all right now."

Baekhyun's face heats, knowing the way things like that travel. "Yes, I'm all right now." Baekhyun bows his head. "Thank you for your concern." 

"Of course," Junmyeon says, and he smiles at Baekhyun before gesturing to Chanyeol. "I knew he was a good friend before, but—"

"Yes," Chanyeol interrupts easily. "I'm _quite_ loyal. Loyalty is very important in a wolf." He looks insistently at Minseok, and Minseok laughs. 

"It is," Junmyeon agrees, and he stares into Baekhyun's eyes, narrows Baekhyun's world down to that, just a very small moment. "Very important." Junmyeon shakes his head with a sheepish smile. "I'm afraid we've got to be off for the morning, but... if later in the day, you both are still around, it would be our honor to give you a tour of the grounds." 

Baekhyun's tongue is thick in his mouth, but Chanyeol nudges him quickly. 

"Y-Yes," Baekhyun stumbles. "Yes, that would be... most pleasing to us." 

"Excellent," Junmyeon says, and he turns sharply, Minseok looking between Junmyeon and Baekhyun before waving, turning to follow as Junmyeon walks away. 

Baekhyun watches their forms recede, slip away into the spit of forest that surrounds them, and his heart glows red and gold. He came. He came. 

"I swear, the pair of you...," Chanyeol mutters, and Baekhyun furrows his brow. 

"There is no _pair of us_," Baekhyun says. "What are you on about?" 

"You're about as blind as a duskeel if you think there's not a _pair of you_," Chanyeol says. "You both look like pups who've never even kissed before the way you dance around each other." 

"Oh, _stop it_. There is no blindness. There is no _dancing._" 

Chanyeol does not look impressed as he raises his brow at Baekhyun. 

“He came three times to check on you,” Chanyeol says before bringing up his hands to accentuate the words. “_Check on you._” 

“And what do you mean by _that_?” 

“I’m merely pointing out that an alpha who stands by the tent where an omega is in heat and starts to salivate may have _some_ feelings for that omega,” Chanyeol says. “Just a hunch.” 

Hearing it sparks oil that rests in the pit of Baekhyun's stomach, a guilt-ridden fire that alights as Baekhyun sputters. 

“It’s a heat,” Baekhyun says, and he waves his arms furiously. “They’re meant to have feelings for an omega in heat. That’s how it works, you fool.” 

“I didn’t see any _other_ alphas around,” Chanyeol says smugly. “And I barely moved from this spot. So take that as you will, friend.” 

_No other alphas_, Baekhyun thinks with a smile. Is it because they didn't find his scent pleasant? Or was it... was it because Junmyeon was so close that they thought he was _claimed_? The thought of Junmyeon so close to him, so possessive over him puts another spiral of heat in his stomach, and Baekhyun swallows over it until it recedes, the aftershocks just as delicious as he remembers them to be. 

He doesn’t let himself dream any more about it for fear that everyone around him will be able to smell it on him.  
  


☽

  
  
The sun is high overhead when Minseok and Junmyeon return, and they bow to each other eagerly, a little too excited.

"Was... did your morning fare well?" Baekhyun asks. 

"Very well, thank you," Junmyeon says. "And your morning?" 

"Very well," Baekhyun says, offering a smile. 

They stand there in silence for a moment before Minseok makes a noise.  
"If it would be pleasing to you both," Minseok says, looking between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, "then we'd like to show you the beach." 

"Oh, I _love_ the water," Chanyeol enthuses, and he shoves his shoulder into Baekhyun's. 

"Go on then," Minseok says, shooing them away with a hand back towards their tent. "Change into something light." 

"Light?" Chanyeol says. "I thought we were going to see the water. What are we doing?" 

"Swimming," Junmyeon says happily. "In the ocean."

"You don't swim naked?" Chanyeol asks, tilting his head to the side, and Baekhyun swiftly slaps him on the shoulder as the alphas laugh. 

"The _ocean_?" Baekhyun says. "Is that... is that safe?" 

"Noeul goes in," Minseok says. "Are you more coward than a child?" 

Baekhyun furrows his brow, turns, and enters the tent to another chorus of laughs. Chanyeol follows him in, and they tie the tent closed, slowly moving to their packs of clothes. 

"Hurry," Chanyeol says, "let's change and get back quickly." 

Chanyeol slips into a pair of thin buckskin shorts, and he looks wonderful, his body thick with muscle that he's built up over the hard years of working with the builders. Baekhyun feels a lot less confident as he slips into something similar, dark cloth shorts that breathe well. He knots his hair into a bun up on top of his head, not sure about what the salt water will do to it, and he folds his arms over his chest. 

"What?" Chanyeol whispers. 

"I feel... ugly," Baekhyun says. 

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, and he leans forward, gathering Baekhyun into a hug. 

"You're not ugly, and even if you were, I wouldn't tell you so." 

Baekhyun spits out a laugh, and then, the two of them leave the tent, towels in hand. 

"Lead the way, alpha," Chanyeol says, addressing Minseok with doe eyes, and Baekhyun feels like vomiting at how sickly sweet it is. 

Chanyeol and Minseok walk up ahead, and Junmyeon walks in time with Baekhyun, hands behind his back as they go. The forest grows from thick to thin, and as they walk, Junmyeon clears his throat. Baekhyun looks to him. 

"How are you... does the weather agree with you?" Junmyeon asks. 

Baekhyun looks up to the sky, sees the sun peeking out through the tree tops. 

"I must confess, I haven't gotten much of a chance to enjoy it," Baekhyun says, and he bows his head as Junmyeon snorts a laugh. "But it is very nice here. Lots of sun, but quite cool." 

"Yes, it is very nice," Junmyeon agrees, "but the storms, they can get quite nasty." 

Baekhyun imagines the ocean during a thunderstorm, the water whipping into a frenzy as it crashes through the forest. He shivers. 

"I can imagine." Junmyeon looks at him with a smile, and Baekhyun gets curious, staring up at Minseok and Chanyeol, arms swinging beside each others. "Noeul..." 

"At the schoolhouse until later," Junmyeon says, and he shoots Baekhyun a look before hiding it, staring at the ground as they walk. "She told me she met you. She was very descriptive." 

"Oh moon," Baekhyun says. "She hates me." 

"_No_," Junmyeon reassures him. "She's... very cautious of strangers." 

"That's a good thing to teach a pup, but still, she hates me." 

Junmyeon laughs, and the distance between their bodies lessens as they move. 

"She could never hate a wolf as kind as you," Junmyeon says. "She just... she doesn't know you yet. But if she knew you—" 

Baekhyun's stomach reacts before he can stop it, and even staring at the ground as it disappears underneath their feet, he sees the way Junmyeon reacts to the sudden pulse of his scent. He re-establishes the distance between them. 

"Do you think she would like me?" Baekhyun asks. "Truly?" 

Baekhyun looks over at him, sees Junmyeon already staring. 

"Truly, I do." 

Baekhyun takes it to heart, lets it fill him up from head to toe as they cross over from forest to beach, Chanyeol and Minseok eagerly running like pups over to the ocean. Chanyeol kicks water onto Minseok's feet, challenging him, and Minseok eyes him with a warning. Chanyeol continues to kick water at Minseok until Minseok starts to chase him along the shoreline. 

They play, mess about, and Baekhyun and Junmyeon approach slowly. 

"You should braid your hair," Junmyeon says. 

"Does the salt... will the salt make it fall out?" Baekhyun asks. 

Junmyeon throws his head back and laughs, helps Baekhyun pull his hair down from the knot and offers to braid it down his back. It seems too intimate, but Baekhyun agrees anyway. 

"Everyone here braids their hair before they swim," Junmyeon says, and his fingertips occasionally brush up against Baekhyun's skin as he works. When he's finished, he lays the braid on Baekhyun's back, pets over it, seemingly satisfied with his work. "There. Now you look like a part of our pack." 

He walks off, lets Baekhyun sit in that. It's lovely, of course, the way it calms him. Belonging... that's all he's ever wanted, really. 

"You're coming, aren't you?" Junmyeon says, smiling. 

"Y-Yes, of course I'm coming," Baekhyun says, and he follows Junmyeon's lead then. 

Baekhyun is apprehensive as he stands at the edge of the water, Chanyeol and Minseok already waist-deep and wading out further into the ocean. He feels silly, feels stupid, and he watches as Junmyeon carelessly, easily moves ankle-deep and then deeper. The broad of Junmyeon's back is intimidating when he's walking away from Baekhyun, and he feels his emotions begin to spiral out of his control. 

It is then that Junmyeon turns, offers Baekhyun a hand. 

"Come on," he says. "Follow me." 

"I think... I think perhaps I'll stay on the shore," Baekhyun says quickly, giving him a weak smile. "Don't worry. It's very nice here, on the beach, I think it would be very pleasant to just—" 

"You trust me, don't you?" 

The starkness of the question, all black and white, hits Baekhyun squarely in the chest. 

"Yes," Baekhyun realizes. "I do." 

Junmyeon nods to his outstretched hand, and when Baekhyun finally takes it, starts to walk into the water, he feels an enormous and undeniable sense of oneness, of peace and of calm, and Baekhyun blinks away emotion as Junmyeon holds his hand, pulls him deeper and deeper. 

"It's okay, isn't it?" Junmyeon says, the waterline at his chest. "Not so difficult?" 

"No," Baekhyun says, his feet buried in the sand, settling in, "not difficult at all." 

"The first step is always the hardest," Junmyeon says with a smile, and he is slow to take his hand from Baekhyun's smiling as he swims over to Minseok, dunks him under the water.  
  


☽

  
  
Baekhyun's swimming improves markedly over the next several days, and they spend nearly every afternoon in the water, playing and messing around. In the evenings before the feasts, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are escorted by Minseok, Junmyeon, and Noeul on tours of the grounds. They see the communal kitchens, the schoolhouse, the prayer house that bears witness to their culture's special rituals like the bonding ties, readings of the moon book, and the blessings of newborn pups. Baekhyun learns a lot about the southeast, and he daydreams as they walk, as they talk.

What might a bonding tie look like? Junmyeon doesn't go into much detail, and as far as he knows, Minseok's never bonded before. Baekhyun likes to imagine the prayer house full of red and yellow flowers, likes to imagine smiling faces staring at the two of them, hands clasped together as the rope binds them. 

As they walk the path of their winter run, passing by the large stone stormhouses, Baekhyun shakes the thought away. 

Noeul walks between Minseok and Junmyeon, doesn't say much unless she's running around with Chanyeol, laughing and smiling easily. Baekhyun wonders what she thinks of it all. He can only distantly remember what it was like to be a child, so honest with himself and so unguarded... but perhaps she is different than he was. Perhaps she is better. 

He lays in his nest of blankets at night, thinking, and Chanyeol throws his shirt at Baekhyun, making him sputter. 

"What was _that_ for?" 

"You looked as if you were thinking too hard, so I wanted to relieve you of that burden," Chanyeol smiles. "Better now?" 

Baekhyun hugs the soft fabric to his chest. "No," he admits. "Not better." 

Chanyeol lies beside him, head resting against Baekhyun's. 

"What's the trouble?" 

"Do you think... do you think Noeul likes me?" Baekhyun asks. 

"Of course," Chanyeol says. "Why shouldn't she?" 

"She doesn't talk to me," Baekhyun says. "She doesn't laugh when I try to make her laugh." 

"You're too old." 

"You're only a summer younger than me!" 

"Ah, but I still have the heart of a puppy," Chanyeol grins, and he knocks his head against Baekhyun's. "Why should it matter what she thinks of you? You're plenty likable, you know. She's just a pup. After the next week, it won't matter if she doesn't find you funny. Which, for the record, you aren't." 

For some funny reason, Baekhyun's heart sinks in his chest, but he does his best to smile over it. 

"Why do you sound like Sehun?" Baekhyun says, and he pokes Chanyeol in the chest hard. 

"Without him, things feel a bit empty, don't they?" Chanyeol asks, and his scent goes sad, fruits picked too soon, unripe.  
  


☽

  
  
They get to see the full moon blessing with four nights to spare, and the two packs meld into one in the prayer house. The wooden benches are full, so Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Junmyeon, Noeul, and Minseok stand in the back, little room between them all as the alpha of their pack says the prayer. Baekhyun bows his head, keeps his mouth shut as he listens to the beautiful words, a language passed down from the southeastern pack's ancestors that sounds foreign to Baekhyun's ears.

Candles are lit, the prayer house warm with all the light, and Baekhyun watches as Noeul yawns quietly, covering the sound with her hand, up past her bedtime. Junmyeon looks to him with a smile, and he begins to mouth the words of the prayer. 

Baekhyun can't help but think that it would sound even more beautiful in his voice, clear as the ocean's waters.  
  


☽

  
  
He walks with Junmyeon after their afternoon under the sun as he goes to fetch Noeul from the schoolhouse. Junmyeon always walks with his hands behind his back, and Baekhyun is thankful for it. If their fingers brushed, he thinks he would be tempted to reach out and grab Junmyeon's hand, hold it in his own.

They talk about the day, the feast that evening, and it feels so familiar. So like what Baekhyun's always wanted, deep down inside. He doesn't let himself indulge much, but his conversations with Junmyeon always feel like indulgences, so he takes them while he can get them. 

"It's interesting that Sehun didn't come," Junmyeon says. "I would have thought he'd do anything to keep Chanyeol away from Minseok." 

"As did I," Baekhyun says. "But they came to an agreement." 

"Ah," Junmyeon tuts. "An _agreement._" 

"Neither of them will pursue him unless they're together," Baekhyun explains. 

"They have looked... comfortable," Junmyeon comments. 

"Yes, very comfortable." 

They walk in companionable silence, and Baekhyun likes that. Likes not having to fill every gap with noise. He doesn't feel that way with everyone. Junmyeon is special in that regard. 

"We've gotten quite accustomed to having you here," Junmyeon says suddenly. "M-Minseok and I. You and Chanyeol, I mean." 

"And we have grown accustomed to being here," Baekhyun says. "It will be... an interesting journey home." 

"Interesting? How do you mean?" 

"Well, there will be a certain... _loneliness_, I suppose," Baekhyun says, and immediately, he tries to step back from that statement. "But an eagerness to return home, of course!" 

"Of course," Junmyeon smiles. "The feeling of home is so rare." 

They stop in front of the schoolhouse, and the children come pouring out in a storm, some of them immediately shifting, tackling others to the ground, some running off toward home. Noeul is one of the last to leave, but she runs over to the two of them, hugging Junmyeon around the waist. 

"Good lessons?" Junmyeon asks. 

Noeul looks at Baekhyun, blinks at him. 

"They were fine," she answers. 

Noeul grabs Junmyeon's hand as they walk back, occasionally looking back to Baekhyun with her big, golden eyes, and Baekhyun wonders what's going on inside her head, inside her heart.  
  


☽

  
  
They go for a midnight swim, and Minseok lights a fire on the beach. They wade in black waters under the white light of the moon, only going in up to their chests and no further.

They drink root wine, and they laugh, telling stories. Junmyeon opens his arms, and Baekhyun relaxes into it. Allows himself to blame the alcohol, the fact that he may not ever have this plain affection again. 

Later, when he and Chanyeol return to their tent, Baekhyun thinks about how much he likes it here. Just how much he will miss it when he's gone. What if it's the last time he ever sees Junmyeon? What if? What if? 

"What are you thinking?" 

Chanyeol's voice is hushed, so thoughtful. He holds Baekhyun by the cheek, and Baekhyun turns into the touch. 

"I don't want to leave," Baekhyun says, and he shuts his eyes. "That's what I was thinking." 

"I thought so," Chanyeol says, and he rests his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder. "Well, there's still one whole day and one whole night left. Shall we make the best of it?" 

Chanyeol lays down on the blankets, furs plush under his body, and Baekhyun sighs as he falls into Chanyeol's arms. 

"I suppose that's the only option I've got," he says, and he lets sleep take him.  
  


☽

  
  
Baekhyun fixes his hair very particularly, pinning flowers into the loose waves, the salt of the ocean making his hair look different, more... free. He likes that, likes the way it looks. He wears his best clothes, lays his best fur along his shoulders, pinches his cheeks and bites his lips between his teeth to make the redder.

Chanyeol doesn't bother, but he does bow before Baekhyun, wrinkling his nose as he smiles. 

"You look pretty," Chanyeol says, "if you were wondering." 

"I wasn't," Baekhyun says primly, but he's happy to know that his efforts paid off. 

The feast that final eve is rages on into the night, the wine flowing. Baekhyun drinks cup after cup sitting with Chanyeol, Minseok, and Junmyeon, and they laugh around the table, trading stories and jokes. Baekhyun finds it easier and easier to laugh as his stomach goes fuller and fuller, and when Baekhyun tells Junmyeon of the time he broke his leg after jumping from a tree too tall to be jumped from, he goes into a fit of laughter that doesn't seem to go away. 

"Oh, he's _drunk_," Minseok laughs, and Baekhyun continues to giggle even as he tries to defend himself. 

"No, I'm _not_," he argues, but on the tail end of his sentence, he develops a nasty case of the hiccups. 

Chanyeol and Minseok laugh, clutching at each other's shoulders, and Baekhyun glares at them, calling them foul names as the music plays, as the wolves jump and laugh and dance on into the night. It is not long before he feels a tapping on his shoulder, and when he turns, he is staring up at Junmyeon, a cup in his hand. 

"But weren't you... weren't you just over—" 

"I think you've had enough for this evening," Junmyeon smiles, and he pushes the cup into Baekhyun's hand. "Water. Drink." 

Baekhyun smiles at his reflection in the water as they stoke the conversation once more while he thinks about how pleasant it is to be cared for every now and again. He drinks the cup empty, and Junmyeon takes it to refill, and Baekhyun has three cups of water before he feels a bit more level-headed, a bit less silly. In the mean time, Chanyeol and Minseok take their leave, off to take a walk by the sea, and Baekhyun chases them with his eyes, wondering about the promise that Chanyeol made to Sehun. 

"Better now?" Junmyeon asks, and he nudges his shoulder into Baekhyun's. 

"Much. Thank you," Baekhyun says, and he gives a little bow of his head. 

"No thanks necessary," Junmyeon says. "But perhaps there will be soon." Baekhyun furrows his brow, and Junmyeon laughs. "Would you like to dance?" 

He gestures to the rest of the mingling pack, raising his brow expectantly. Baekhyun does not answer, doesn't need to. He stands, brushing his hair back out of his face, and he grabs Junmyeon by the hand, pulls him out to join the rest of the wolves. The music, strings, drums, and flutes, it picks up then, and Junmyeon leaps around. It makes Baekhyun scream with laughter as they try to mimic the rest of the packs, try to find some common ground to stand on. 

They bounce around carelessly, eagerly shouting whenever the rest of the partiers do. The group forms a large circle, hand in hand as the spin to the left, then to the right, and Junmyeon squeezes Baekhyun's hand in his, grinning like a fool. 

It is not long before the band transitions, the music going soft and slow, and the wolves pair off, arms around their partners. Junmyeon looks at him cautiously, head low, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he pulls Junmyeon to him, arms thrown easily around Junmyeon's neck. 

But he doesn't feel as relaxed as he tries to look, his heart beating wildly, his stomach rolling inside him. He smells Junmyeon all around him, the scent enveloping him just like Junmyeon's hands on his waist, respectful as ever. Baekhyun wants desperately to step closer, to push their bodies together until he can't tell where Junmyeon ends and he begins, but he holds back, sways from side along to the slow rhythm of the drums. 

"You look very nice," Junmyeon says softly, and he reaches up, brushes a lock of Baekhyun's hair back behind his ear. "I like the flowers." 

"Thank you," Baekhyun says. "I... you look very nice too." 

"No different than usual," Junmyeon says. "I should have put some effort in. Seeing as it's your last night here." 

Baekhyun goes hot, can feel the blush in his cheeks, and he hopes to the moon that Junmyeon can't see it in the rosy-red light, romantic in all the worst ways. 

"You always look nice," Baekhyun says, and his eyes go wide once the words leave his mouth, once he realizes what he's just said. "Ignore me, please." 

"No," Junmyeon laughs. "I don't think I will." 

"No? Why not?" 

"It's not in my nature to ignore beautiful things," Junmyeon says. "I rather like to cherish them." 

"S-Stop," Baekhyun says. "You shouldn't say that." 

"Why not?" 

"Because it's... it's improper," Baekhyun scolds. 

"Truth is never improper," Junmyeon says. "You should know that." 

Baekhyun's heart goes wild in his chest, and he breathes deeply as they dance, holding each other as close as they can possibly manage. The night goes dark and full, and they dance, holding on to each other.  
  


☽

  
  
They are set to leave in the morning, but it feels so unfinished, feels so open. Baekhyun can't stand it, can't stomach that, so while Chanyeol is still sleeping, Baekhyun slips from his tent. The older wolves, more responsible and more seasoned, are already helping to make the meal to break the fast, but Baekhyun goes to the wood, follows the familiar path down to the sea to get some air. To clear his head. Feeling so foolish over an alpha, so wrapped up in him. Truly, _what_ is he thinking?

As he approaches, the smell of the ocean is overwhelming, and when he gets to the forest line, he sees Junmyeon there, back to Baekhyun, staring out over the horizon. Baekhyun's throat goes tight, his stomach tensing nervously, and he tries to smile as he steps out onto the white sand, wiggling his toes into it. 

Junmyeon must smell him, must sense his presence, because he whips around, brows raised as his eyes are blown wide. 

"Baekhyun," Junmyeon says, and his voice carries over the beach. "What are you doing here?" 

"I came... I came for air," Baekhyun says, and he points back into the forest from whence he came. "I'm sorry, I can—"

"No," Junmyeon says quickly. "No, _no_, it's all right." 

Baekhyun approaches slowly, and the waves creep up towards them, the beautiful music of the breaking morning surrounding them. 

"You... your pack is set to leave today," Junmyeon comments softly, almost too quiet to be heard over the water. 

"Yes." Baekhyun looks out over the water, doesn't dare look to Junmyeon. He might say something foolish. He might do something rash. "I have greatly enjoyed my time here. Thank you." 

Baekhyun can feel Junmyeon's eyes on him then, and Baekhyun resists the urge to meet the gaze. 

"It was my pleasure," Junmyeon says. "I'm so glad... it was my honor to host you." 

Baekhyun's stomach flips inside him, and he cannot bite back the question any longer, can't avoid it anymore. He will regret it if he doesn't ask, he'll hate himself for it. He wants closure over this, some sign that it didn't mean as much to Junmyeon as it did... _does_ to Baekhyun. He looks at Junmyeon, looks into his eyes. Warm. Lovely. 

"Do you remember?" Baekhyun asks. "Do you remember that night?" 

Junmyeon breathes deeply, sighs out. Careful. Deliberate. Baekhyun holds himself still, tries to belie just how nervous he is. 

"I cannot forget," Junmyeon says. "It was, perhaps, my most conflicted moment." 

_Conflicted_, Baekhyun thinks, and he closes his eyes. _That's good because it couldn't possibly be good._

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun asks softly. "Conflicted how?" 

"I had two very crystal clear thoughts that evening, sitting in the furs that smelled so purely of you, of her," Junmyeon says. "I thought _If I kiss him, I will do her great disservice. I will bring dishonor upon myself. I will have done as I told myself I would never do._" 

Baekhyun looks to the sand. The water creeps in, sweeps back out again, and Baekhyun's eyes go wet. 

"But," Junmyeon says, and Baekhyun looks up, meets Junmyeon's teary gaze, "but the other thought was that I couldn't possibly _not_ kiss you. That you were too beautiful. Too good. And that if I didn't someone else would have to. And I didn't want that." 

"O-Oh," Baekhyun says, surprised. 

"I think I liked you from the moment I met you," Junmyeon confesses. "But it was too soon. For the both of us. The time... it wasn't right." 

"No," Baekhyun says. "It wasn't." 

"And maybe it never will be," Junmyeon says. "But maybe it will. Someday." 

They stand at the shore, and Baekhyun looks at Junmyeon, watches him watching the ocean, and he tries to put himself in Junmyeon's position, tries to understand the feelings that must surely be swimming inside him. It must be so difficult, living here with the memory of her. Baekhyun looks at the sand. He must think of her always. He must not be able to move forward. And Baekhyun could live with that. Baekhyun could live as long as he knew that Junmyeon felt something there too. As long as it didn't mean _nothing._

"It isn't so bad here," Junmyeon offers, and Baekhyun turns sharply as though he's been heard, as though he said those thoughts aloud. "My mother once told me that people are waves."

"Waves?"

They stare at the blue water, and they watch the ocean roll in and in and in.

"Waves build and then they crash," Junmyeon offers, and just as he says the words, the curling water devours the sand before slinking back, the only reminder a skim of white foam that bubbles away. "We live. And then we die."

Hearing those words puts a lump of emotion in Baekhyun's throat, and he thinks of the Listener, the way she crashed. The sound of her wave.

"But we're all part of the ocean," Junmyeon says, and Baekhyun looks at him. There is not even a trace of sadness in him, some sort of wonderful acceptance. "Waves crash, but they build and crash again. Waves all return someday. As long as we watch the water long enough."

He smiles, peaceful as he looks out over the water, and Baekhyun thinks that he is gorgeous, so handsome that he doesn't know if the word truly does Junmyeon justice. It is then that Junmyeon turns, aims the smile at Baekhyun like a beam of pure light, and Baekhyun feels the moment throughout his entire body and soul. He falls in love with Junmyeon, standing there on the shore, the smile spread across his face.

"I'll miss you when you're gone," Junmyeon says, and it sounds as much like love as Baekhyun's ever heard, the glorious feeling in his heart surging at the words. "Don't stay away too long."

"I won't," Baekhyun promises. "I'll come back someday."

"Or maybe we'll visit," Junmyeon says. "You aren't so far away."

"No. Not so far."

Baekhyun doesn't want to walk away, has to force himself to move his feet away from Junmyeon lest he step forward, repeat the same mistake they once made together. He knows it was a mistake, and yet, he has never wanted to fail again in quite the same way ever before.

He walks back to the tents, and before he leaves the shore, he can feel Junmyeon's eyes like a phantom weight on him, like hands on his shoulders or on his waist. He shakes the thought, the feeling away, and by the time he reaches his tent with Chanyeol, he is holding back tears, overwhelmed with emotion. Waves do not die, and they always come back. Baekhyun wants the chance to love him. Baekhyun wants to become part of his life. What a terrifying thought.

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asks, and he scrambles forward on his knees, taking Baekhyun's hands in his. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," Baekhyun says, and he sniffs. "I think I'm just... I think I've fallen in love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wah. sorry that took so long. and also sorry it WAS so long. i still feel like i rushed it even tho this chapter is nearly 11k, which is funny. i didn't anticipate this story being so long, but here i am, nearly 50k later lol 
> 
> i hope you're having a good week so far. thanks for reading
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	8. trials and their errors

They journey back, and despite it all, Baekhyun returns with a light heart. The skies seem a brighter blue, the clouds a purer white, and his lungs fill with cold air as he runs, rushing passed the trees in daubs of green and brown. 

He thinks of Junmyeon, thinks of his words. The waves of the ocean. Baekhyun yearns for home, but when he gets there, there is a distant part of him that thinks he might have left a part of home behind.  
  


☾

  
  
Chanyeol yawns mightily once they’ve gotten back, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“You visit him,” Chanyeol says, throwing his bag back over his shoulder after he’s shifted. His hair, flaming red, glistens in the sun like fire. “I need my rest, and he’d probably like to throttle me right about now.” He grins, all his teeth. 

“You do nothing but rest,” Baekhyun accuses, but he waves a hand at him anyway. “Fine, fine, I will deal with him for you.” 

Chanyeol cheers, leaping forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek, one that he hurriedly wipes away. 

There are wolves to greet them in the early morning, but Sehun is not among them. Baekhyun walks to his home, tentatively knocking on the door. He waits, and before long, Sehun is stood there, sleepy eyes and lines from furs across his face. 

“Good morning,” Baekhyun greets. “I see you weren’t among the welcomers.” 

“I knew you’d come,” he smiles sleepily, and he steps across the threshold, gathers Baekhyun into a hug that smells like lilac. “I missed you.” 

“And I you.” 

They hold each other for a while, and it is a basic comfort, Sehun’s scent, flowery and pure. Sehun looks around, and Baekhyun can sense a detached kind of distress. 

“What?” 

“Chanyeol didn’t come?” 

“It was a long journey,” Baekhyun says. “Forgive him.” 

Sehun pushes back from the embrace, looks into Baekhyun’s eyes for a moment before tugging Baekhyun by the wrist. 

“Inside,” Sehun says, and he pulls Baekhyun into the house. 

It smells like Sehun, like Sehun’s parents, and Baekhyun goes to Sehun’s nest of blankets as Sehun busies himself with the stove, pouring tea for them both. Early morning light streams through the window, the heat making Baekhyun tired, but he grabs the cup when Sehun offers it, holds it between his hands as Sehun sits beside him. 

“You must tell me everything,” Sehun demands. “It was dreadful without you both. I had nothing to do but _work_ and talk to my _parents_.” 

“You could have made other friends, you know,” Baekhyun offers. 

Sehun makes a face of disgust as Baekhyun snorts, taking a sip of his cooling tea. 

“Fair enough, I suppose,” Baekhyun says. 

“Enough chattering about nothing,” Sehun says. “The details of the visit, please.” 

“Oh.” Baekhyun tries to search his recollections for any memories that don’t contain Junmyeon or any other damning information. “They had very good desserts.” 

Sehun stares at him blankly as Baekhyun takes another sip. 

“Dessert?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “And an anchovy soup that I very much enjoyed.” 

Sehun sets his tea onto the low table beside them, gets up onto his knees, squares his shoulders as he stares down at Baekhyun, narrowing his brows. 

“You come to me, after two weeks,” Sehun says quietly, “and instead of talking about the man you are so very clearly in love with and the goings-on with him or perhaps, what happened with the man _I_ love and my _traitor_ of a best friend, you want to discuss… the soup.” 

“Well, I thought it might give the story color,” Baekhyun lies. 

“You have to tell me everything,” Sehun says, and he holds Baekhyun by the shoulder, pulling him down to the rugs. “_Everything._”  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun doesn’t like telling Sehun stories. He always… makes them into something.

“As if you or I needed any further proof that you love him,” Sehun laughs, “you go into your first honest heat because you see him for the first time in years.” 

“It isn’t _funny_,” Baekhyun fumes. “And it doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Doesn’t _mean_ anything?” Sehun throws his head back and laughs. “You are such a silly little puppy, aren’t you?” 

“I’m not _silly_, and I’m not _little_ either.” 

“It isn’t just any alpha that can trigger a heat,” Sehun says. “And you know that to be true.” Baekhyun’s stomach twists up in knots at the memory, the dreams of Junmyeon on him, inside him, eating him up and licking his fingers after he was through. “Ugh, you smell of it even now.” 

Baekhyun shoves him, and it makes Sehun laugh. But he can’t pretend he didn’t think the same things, didn’t wonder if it all meant something. Because he knows he wants it to mean something. He knows he wants something out of all the frayed ends, wants to knot them into something to hold onto. 

“D-Do you think—never mind,” Baekhyun says. “I’m being silly.” 

“What?” Sehun asks. “Say it plainly.” 

“I just wondered,” Baekhyun starts, “wondered if it was worth waiting for.” 

Sehun sighs, and he pulls Baekhyun back into his arms, settling them both into an embrace. 

“If you think it’s worth waiting for, then it is,” Sehun says. “From what I know, it seems like… well, there _is_ a return of feelings. We know that he favors you. Whether or not he’ll ever be ready for another mate... that, I can’t know. Perhaps, not even _he_ knows.” 

“Perhaps.” And the sadness leaks through him, thinking of the acceptance Junmyeon’s come to. "Maybe someday."

"Maybe someday," Sehun says, cheerful as he is when Baekhyun is in need of it. "Now, come on. Tell the rest, and spare no detail."

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun shakes his head. "I've told you everything."

"Not everything," Sehun smiles. "Tell me about what happened with Chanyeol. With _Minseok_."

Baekhyun huffs a labored breath, but he immediately launches into as much detail about their visit as possible, focusing on the two that Baekhyun always sort of assumed would end up together, their gentle, easy spirits. Sehun never fit quite right, Baekhyun didn't think, and seeing the two of them fight over Minseok always gave him an uneasy, funny feeling inside.

He says it as sweetly as he can manage. He tells Sehun about the way Chanyeol managed to make him laugh, the way they embraced at the end of it all. The air that smelled like love.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun says. "I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear after... after everything."

"It's all right," Sehun says evenly, and Baekhyun is shocked by the level headedness.

"Are you sure? You're not mad at him? It won't... it won't come to blows later?"

"No," Sehun smiles. "Just wanted to know."

They sink into the furs, and Baekhyun wonders where such an understanding might lead him, wonders whether or not three could make it where two would suffice.

He settles on his answer.  
  


☾

  
  
Days go by, as days are wont to do, and then the weeks turn to a month, and Baekhyun feels a small ache inside of him that he can't ever seem to quiet. He tries to eat it away, drink it silent, but the ache remains, reminds him of what he left behind.

Baekhyun tries to forget, tries to put it out of his mind, which is easier said than done. Going back to a normal day after such magic feels _boring_, and when he's bored, he day-dreams. And when he day-dreams, he often thinks of Junmyeon, thinks of the memories they made together. The water, the sand, the dancing. 

Even when he's with his friends, he feels a distant pull inside him, a yearning for Junmyeon's words. He always had such a way of speaking, a way that immediately commanded Baekhyun's attention. He wants to bask in that light, wants to soak in it like a gently moving river, wants to—

"Hey!"

Baekhyun looks over in the dusty blue light of the evening, sees Sehun sipping from the mead as he rolls his eyes, Chanyeol laughing at him.

"Moon help us," Chanyeol says, giggling. "You're bored of us."

"I'm not bored," Baekhyun says immediately.

"If you're not bored, then you're _boring_," Sehun says.

"Me?" Baekhyun squawks. "I'm not boring."

"You've gotten boring because you've fallen in love," Sehun accuses. "And don't try to blame it on anything but that."

"I'm not _boring_," Baekhyun says. "I'm fun."

"Fun people don't call themselves fun."

"I call myself fun," Chanyeol says, hugging his knees. "And I'm quite fun."

Sehun narrows his eyes a bit before smiling, tugging Chanyeol into an embrace.

"You're right, but my point remains," Sehun says, and he cards his fingers through Chanyeol's hair. "Baekhyun is no fun."

"Quiet," Baekhyun mutters. "I'm fun."

"What's going to happen when you bond with him, hm?" Sehun asks. “Will you leave us then? Forget all about us?” 

"You don't know that will happen." He looks down to his fingers, knits them together. "You don't know that we'll ever see them again."

Sehun scoffs, looks down at Chanyeol, and for a moment, it looks as if Sehun's ready to bite him. Baekhyun can't believe his eyes, reaches up to scrub at them as they look at each, a silent communication passing between them. Baekhyun's stomach turns inside him. _Is it a fight?_ He wonders. 

Then suddenly, Sehun looks up, locks eyes with Baekhyun.

"Love always finds a way," Sehun says. "You should know that by now."  
  


☾

  
  
Summer ends, fades seamlessly to the autumn, and leaves come falling from the trees like rain. It is chilly and cool, and Baekhyun likes it that way best. There is something magical about it, something that reminds him of visits to the Listener. He thinks about what she might say if she ever met Junmyeon. He wishes she’d gotten the chance. He thinks she would have liked him quite a bit.

Sometimes, Baekhyun scribbles things to himself, words he tells himself he might tell someone special. It feels fantastical, like dreams, but still, he writes the words down, hides them under his nest of blankets when he's finished with them.

The harvest is his favorite time of the year now, finds a sense of purpose in reaping what he's sewn. They stock for the long winters, and Baekhyun works side by side with his fellow wolves, fingernails always in need of a scrub late at night.

He sits around the fire by the river with Chanyeol and Sehun most every night, and it suits him fine. He tells himself that he is just as fulfilled as before the visit, but deep inside himself, he knows that he is lying.

He walks to the river that night, thinking too loudly, and it drowns out the music of the night.

Baekhyun wants something, and he knows that now. Denying it will only worsen the damage. Dealing with it, that's what he must focus on now. There's no promise of a bond, not for him, not ever, so he knows he needs to forget, at least a little. Go back to living easily without it.

Branches and leaves crack underfoot as Baekhyun approaches the water, and he sees Chanyeol, hands at Sehun's shoulders, the broad of his shoulders practically blocking him from view. He's got Sehun's back up against an oak, and Baekhyun watches, movement halted so that he can observe them silently.

They're... they're speaking to one another. Hushed tones. The fire paints harsh light and shadows across Sehun's face, what little Baekhyun can see. Sehun's expression looks hard, looks pained, and Baekhyun immediately hurries forward.

"Hey there," Baekhyun says. "What's going on?"

Chanyeol turns swiftly, scrambles away.

"Nothing," Sehun says, suspicious, careful. "We were just having a conversation."

Baekhyun looks between them as he sits down next to the fire, and slowly, Sehun steps away, joins Baekhyun at the fire. Chanyeol stands there awkwardly, and Baekhyun watches him.

"A conversation, hm?" He looks to Sehun. "What kind of conversation?"

"None of your business, now is it?"

"You're my best friends, so all business between you is my business," Baekhyun challenges.

“There’s some private business,” Sehun says stiffly. “So kindly shut up about it.” 

“Are you going to challenge him?” Baekhyun asks. 

Sehun furrows his brow with a laugh. “Challenge him?” He gestures to Chanyeol. “He’d lose in an instant.” 

“Me?” Chanyeol says, puffing out his chest. “Me, lose to _you_? Unlikely.” 

“You’d lose,” Sehun says. “Trust me.” 

“Now I’d like you to challenge me, so that we might settle matters,” Chanyeol says, and he walks over, sits down next to Sehun, their knees brushing. “Hurry. Challenge me.” 

“You could challenge _me_, if you’re so eager for a whipping.” 

“What would you be challenging me over, though?” Chanyeol looks to Baekhyun. “What’s the challenge for?” 

“F-For Minseok?” he mumbles. “Right? Aren’t you… aren’t you fighting over him? Because Chanyeol took him?” 

“I haven’t _taken_ anything,” Chanyeol says, and he gets up, scrambles over to Baekhyun. “What kind of ideas are in that thick head of yours?” 

“I thought you’d… I thought the agreement was that you wouldn’t pursue him while visiting,” Baekhyun says. 

“And I honored the agreement!” Chanyeol says. 

Baekhyun tilts his head, tries to work it all out. 

“Oh.” 

“What do you mean, _oh_,” Chanyeol says, and he takes Baekhyun’s face in his hands, squishes his cheeks together. “Have you been doubting my loyalty all this time?” 

Baekhyun looks to Sehun, tries to squeak through Chanyeol’s hands. 

“B-But you called him a traitor,” Baekhyun mutters. “You said—” 

“Oh, _moon_,” Sehun says, rolling his eyes. “It was for a laugh. We came to an understanding before you left, silly pup, didn't we?” 

Baekhyun takes Chanyeol’s hands down from around his face, slaps them away. “Why am I always left out of the matters between you two, hm?” He looks between Chanyeol and Sehun. “Why am I always left to figure things out later on my own?” 

The two of them, normally so quick to speak, to argue, to quarrel and offer their opinions, are curiously quiet.

“Whatever,” Baekhyun says, “keep your secrets. I don’t care any longer. Just make sure I won’t be put in the middle of it when you two begin to fight _seriously_.” He glares between them. “And if there is a challenge, I _won’t_ be attending. Maim each other, kill each other. I don’t care.” 

They think he’s dumb, but he sees what’s going on. He can read between the lines. He sees them for what they are. Two little puppies who don’t know what to do, fighting for the first time in their lives. And Baekhyun wants nothing to do with it.  
  


☾

  
  
He keeps waiting for the explosion, the fiery tumult between Chanyeol and Sehun, but that tumult never comes. If anything, they get along better than before. They’re exceedingly careful, conscientious, and Baekhyun isn’t used to seeing either of them act so… primly around the other.

Much as Baekhyun likes to believe that he is entirely correct all of the time, he has to concede that, on occasion, he draws conclusions that are not absolutely and completely accurate. 

“Come on,” he begs. “Tell me what’s going on with you two.” 

“There isn’t anything to tell,” Sehun says. “Get it through your head.” 

Baekhyun huffs as he grabs his basket, starts to walk back to the shed in the middle of the fields. Sehun follows behind him, and Baekhyun looks back, sees Sehun hiding a secret smile. 

“See?” Baekhyun screeches, and he holds his basket with tight hands. “_See_?” 

“See what?” 

“You’re hiding something from me, and you know I hate that!” 

He furrows his brow as he storms away from Sehun, but Sehun has longer legs, so he catches up quickly, throwing an arm around Baekhyun’s neck. 

“Fine, do you really want to know?” 

Baekhyun stops, and he looks at Sehun, particularly handsome draped in the colors of honey-wheat and the changing leaves. If Sehun can’t find love somewhere, there’s no hope for him, he thinks. 

“We’ve decided to protect our friendship,” Sehun says. “We came to an agreement that… neither of us will seek out Minseok.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Because we’re too competitive. It would turn into a game,” Sehun says easily. “And then it would ruin us when one of us won, and the other didn’t.” He laughs shyly. “I don’t think we’d ever speak again.” 

Baekhyun furrows his brow, tugging Sehun into a hug. 

“What’s this?” Sehun asks. 

“I’m proud of you,” Baekhyun says. “That was very… mature of you both.” 

“We have moments,” Sehun says, and his scent is sweet, floral, kind. He rests his head on Baekhyun’s for a moment, stares up at the sky until Baekhyun gently pulls himself away. “Come. You’ve still got to get back to the shed, and I heard there’s a meeting tonight. We have to get Chanyeol before we go.” 

“A meeting?” Baekhyun says, and they walk side by side. “Whatever for?” 

They stare to a blue sky without clouds. 

“No clue,” Sehun says. “Guess we’ll find out shortly.”  
  


☾

  
  
They gather under a full moon. Each full moon feels like magic, but this one in particular feels dense with it. There is a charge of lightning running through the wolves in the hall, everyone eager to find out the message. The chatter grows like a wave off the ocean, building and building, and just when Baekhyun thinks it might never crash, it is then that the head hunter speaks, voice booming through the hall.

“My family,” he says, “we’ve received word that our friends are in need.” 

A boom of voices explode, but he holds a hand until they quiet. Baekhyun’s stomach knots, twists and knots, the scent of everyone together overwhelming in the most exciting way. 

“There is a storm off the southeast coast,” he says. “It could potentially be disastrous.” 

Another uproar raises from the floor, the wolves shouting over each other in fear as the horror sets in for the three of them. Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol, at Sehun, sees the same fear in their eyes. Their friends. The alphas. 

“Silence, silence!” another head calls. “Enough!” 

“What’s to be done?” an omega shouts, and the pack looks to her, her square shoulders, her watering eyes, her even voice. “What aid shall we offer them?” 

The rest of the pack looks to the heads, and a voice shines through like sunshine through rain clouds. 

“Hearth and home,” Gaeul says warmly. “They were gracious enough to let our pack visit.” She gestures with open hands. “Now, we open our lands to them once more. Until the storm has passed.” 

“We open it to you,” the hunter says. “Speak now if you dissent.” 

Baekhyun curls his toes as he waits, patiently waits for any voice, any call of anger, any cry of fear. But the floor stays silent, the hall thick with quiet. 

The hunter looks to the wolf by the door, and immediately she shifts, black as night as she runs off to greet the wanderers from the southeast, misplaced from their home. Waves crashing upon their shores. 

“Prepare,” the hunter says. “They are coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry this is so short lkajdgjkdgjs its a stopgap chapter obvs but it had to be written, so here it is lol 
> 
> thanks for being so nice and stuff hope you are having a good week!!!! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	9. melting gold and crumbling stone

Preparations begin immediately. 

Chanyeol works late into the evening, and some of the crafters join the builders in constructing more long-standing homes. It’s hard work. At least, that’s what he says when they gather around the fire by the river in the evenings. Often, it’s the only time they get to see each other, what with things being so busy. 

Baekhyun and the rest of the gatherers have their hands full as well, preparing for the wanderers as best they can, storing the rest of the crops, but the hunters have it worst, according to Sehun. 

“It’s not like we can just plant more and have them ready in a week’s time,” Baekhyun argues. “We can only do so much.” 

“Our hunt’s _doubled_,” Sehun complains. “We’re about to start driving the deer away entirely, up to the far north.” 

“Good,” Chanyeol says, and he finishes wrapping the bandage around his blistered hands. “We should only eat squirrel from now until the rest of time.” 

Baekhyun looks to Sehun, expects to see his typical look of humorous disdain, but instead, he is staring at Chanyeol, eyes sparkling handsomely. It is vaguely disgusting to Baekhyun, seeing Sehun look that way at Chanyeol, but over all of it, he doesn’t _understand_ it, which makes it all the worse. Much like the rest of all sentient things, he hates things he doesn’t understand. 

“Squirrel is good,” Sehun agrees, and then with a smile, “but bucks are bigger.” 

“Everyone needs to eat less meat regardless,” Chanyeol says. 

“We’re wolves,” Baekhyun says. “You fool.” 

“But we’re also men!” Chanyeol says. “Men eat vegetables and fruits!” 

Sehun huffs, but he rests his back against the rock, stares again at Chanyeol, starry-eyed and unbelievable, and Baekhyun tries to figure out just what is happening to the delicate balance they’ve struck between the three of them. 

“I was listening in on the meeting between the heads before I came,” Sehun says. “They’ll be here in the morning.” 

“That soon?” Baekhyun asks. 

“It’s already been a week and a half,” Sehun snorts. “How much longer do you want them to take?”

Baekhyun’s spent a lot of his time since the announcement thinking of what to say when they arrive. How to act. What to do. But he can’t decide. Can’t figure out what’s the best course of action. Life keeps thrusting them together, and it feels torturous, feels cruel. What _can_ he do? What _can_ he say? 

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun says, and he stares at the dirt, thinking about all the possibilities he keeps denying himself.  
  


☾

  
  
When the pack from the southeast arrives in the thick of the night, the greeting is much less celebratory than the time before. They wear faces of exhaustion, of upset, and immediately, Baekhyun can smell the storm on them. Perhaps they will carry it with them until they return.

Baekhyun sees Junmyeon and Minseok, Noeul following close behind them, and even in such dire circumstances, Baekhyun feels a swelling of joy in his stomach at the sight of them. It feels like forever since they’ve met, and he cannot lie. He missed them. Junmyeon in particular. 

As the whole of Baekhyun’s pack meets with the whole of Junmyeon’s, walking towards the new settlement, Baekhyun gently moves towards them, feels Sehun and Chanyeol at his side as he goes. They poke him in the side as they get closer and closer, and Baekhyun turns, gives them a withering glare until they cease, though they wear smiles, biting their lips between their teeth. 

He doesn’t care. All he cares about is greeting Junmyeon. Getting to hear his name in the sweetest voice. Smelling the ocean on Junmyeon’s skin. Comforting him. 

When he touches Junmyeon on the shoulder, Junmyeon turns slowly, smiles at him. He is tired, Baekhyun can see it in his eyes, smell it on him. 

“It is good to see you again,” Junmyeon says all the same, and Baekhyun can’t help but agree.

“And you,” Baekhyun says, and before he can stop himself, “as always. Even in… such circumstances.” 

Junmyeon smiles at him, slows his gait so as to walk side by side with him. 

“Have you been well since we’ve last seen each other?” Junmyeon asks, and then, much more quietly. “I’ve kept you in my thoughts. Or rather… you’ve kept yourself there.” 

“Have I?” Baekhyun asks. “What kind of magic is that?” 

“I confess, I do not know,” Junmyeon says quietly. “I only know that I am thankful for it.” 

Baekhyun looks to the ground passing underfoot as he keeps moving forward, but Junmyeon gets too close, so close that their shoulders brush as they walk. Baekhyun looks up, slides Junmyeon another smile, and then, Baekhyun smells a little flare of anger. 

Baekhyun looks around Junmyeon’s body, sees Noeul holding Junmyeon’s hand. 

“Welcome, lady,” Baekhyun smiles as he bows. “It is good to see you.” 

She bows her head stiffly. 

“We thank your pack for its kindness,” she says, and Baekhyun smells the anger rise within her. 

He sniffs hard to clear his nose of the scent, fiery and upset, but he supposes it must have been quite a challenging week for a pup. The storms are hard and unforgiving. 

“It is the least that we can do for you,” Baekhyun says softly. “If there’s anything we can do, anything you’d like—” 

“She’s fine,” Junmyeon interrupts, shoving his shoulder into Baekhyun’s. “Don’t spoil her.” 

“Puppies deserve to be spoiled every once in a while,” Baekhyun says, and he peers around Junmyeon again, smiling at Noeul. “Isn’t that right?” 

She sniffs, looks away before she nods politely. 

“See,” Baekhyun says. “I know best.” 

“So you do,” Junmyeon says, and they approach the new grounds for the southeastern pack with abandon. “So you do.” 

Baekhyun waits eagerly as they get settled in, helps to haul materials and belongings, and when Junmyeon, Minseok, and Noeul settle into one of the cabins, he feels a similar feeling of settling in his heart, almost as if he was waiting for this to occur. 

By the end of it, Junmyeon is inside, settling Noeul in a nest of furs that smell like the ocean, while Sehun and Chanyeol huddle around Minseok, blocking him from view. Baekhyun assumes they are telling him of their plans to leave him alone, and it gives him a little puff of pride in his chest. They may be foolish, but sometimes, they are wise beyond their years. 

Baekhyun’s eye is drawn by movement, and he sees Junmyeon exiting the cabin, arms folded across his chest as he shuts the door quietly. 

“Is she asleep?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Soon,” Junmyeon says. “It was a long journey. She will sleep well tonight.” 

Baekhyun smiles, small, before he realizes that he has no more business here, that he doesn’t need to stick around any longer. 

“I-I just wanted to wish you a good night,” Baekhyun says. “And… I wanted to offer you whatever hospitality you might require in the coming weeks.” 

“That’s good news,” Junmyeon teases. “I do require hospitality.” 

“W-What, now?” 

“If you aren’t busy,” Junmyeon says. “It seems _they’re_ busy.” 

He nods his head to the right, and Baekhyun looks, sees Sehun and Chanyeol talking animatedly at Minseok, who looks on, amused. 

“So it seems,” Baekhyun says, furrowing his brow before turning back to Junmyeon. “What do you require, then?” 

“Tea,” Junmyeon says, “with you.” 

The fire in the middle of the ring of cabins rages, and it is such pretty light streaking across the face of such a pretty alpha. Baekhyun feels as his pheromones leak out of him, hot, desperate, eager. He ignores them, swallows down over it. 

“I’ll fetch my kettle, then.”  
  


☾

  
  
Everyone has gone to rest, but they sit by the fire with their tea. Baekhyun listens to the stories of their journey, of the storm that ravaged their lands. The beaches and the forests.

“Usually, it isn’t so bad,” Junmyeon smiles sadly, and he stares down at his reflection in the tea. “Usually, we’re able to rebuild within a week, the moon at the latest.” His eyes flick up to meet Baekhyun’s. “It was worse than usual. Much worse.” 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says, and momentarily, he is lost for words. Luckily, he finds some in the next moment. “I… surely, once all is said and done, our pack will offer yours assistance in the rebuild. I’ll… I’ll come! And Chanyeol will surely come, and Sehun will tag along just so he isn’t left behind again.” He smiles, thinking about it. “We’ll build houses so strong no storm can tear them down.” 

Junmyeon laughs, kicks his foot against Baekhyun’s. 

“No such thing.” He smiles at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun is sure that he smells sweet, spiced because whenever Junmyeon looks at him like that, Baekhyun feels his stomach being to turn over with arousal. “There’s no house that can withstand any storm.” 

Baekhyun squints at him. “Such a pessimist, aren’t you?” He kicks Junmyeon a bit harder than he was kicked. 

“I’m a realist,” Junmyeon argues, and then, he speaks with an incredible lightness, a softness that should be reserved for nights such as this one. “The house may fall, but it can always be built again.” 

Baekhyun swallows thickly, stares at the dancing fire, thinking about the house they are building here, in the middle of night.  
  


☾

  
  
The next morning, he meets with Sehun and Chanyeol before the sun has even risen.

“This is torture,” Sehun whines, arms across his chest, holding himself. “What have we done to deserve you as a friend?” 

“Oh, shut up,” Baekhyun says. “You’d have to get up in a half hour or so anyway.” 

“A half hour can make all the difference,” Chanyeol says wisely, and Baekhyun splashes him until he sputters into action, splashing him back. 

They bathe in the river, the water bracing, and Baekhyun runs his fingers through his hair, scrubbing with soap and then, with sweet-smelling oil. 

“You’re awfully happy,” Sehun notes. 

“It is a lovely morning,” Baekhyun says, and he points just through the tree line as light begins to paint through the sky. “See?” 

“Sure,” Sehun says. “The sunrise. Lovely morning. As if the sun doesn’t rise _every_ morning.” 

“Is it so awful? For me to be in a good mood?” 

“No, no,” Sehun says, nose in the air, “just… you’re being quite careful about your hair.” He gestures to where Baekhyun is holding his hair over one shoulder, coaxing the tangles out with his fingers. “And you used oil.” 

“Oil is good for your hair,” Baekhyun says. 

“And it smells nice,” Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun stares at him. “What? I’m only saying.” 

“What’s your point?” Baekhyun asks. “Is it a crime to smell nice?” 

“No, only noticing,” Sehun says, and he swims up behind Chanyeol, hangs over his shoulder. “Right?” 

“Right,” Chanyeol says, and he turns, presses a kiss to Sehun’s cheek in a move that makes Sehun’s cheeks redden. “Only noticing.” 

Baekhyun scowls at them, turns his back on them as he finishes bathing. He knows what they’re implying. He gets it. And still… he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Doesn’t know why he’s trying to hide it. By now, he knows what he wants. And what he wants, wants _desperately_, is to belong to Junmyeon, have Junmyeon belong to him in turn.  
  


☾

  
  
The first day is stressful, and Baekhyun spends the morning weeding the fields, thinking about how Junmyeon and Noeul and Minseok are settling in. Surely, the pup will be introduced to the schooling, but Junmyeon is a builder, Minseok a crafter. He wonders how long it will take them to join in. A day? More? He sees a few new wolves wandering the fields, led by Gaeul and a few more of the harvesters for the morning. It isn’t hard work, just tiresome after a while, but he supposes that relates to _all_ work, not just his own.

He day-dreams about Junmyeon all through the morning, spends too much time thinking and not enough time _doing_, and he ends up staying in the radish field much longer than he intends to. It is past noon by the time he’s finished with his work, and he hurries along at the very end, kneeling in the soil, picking the rows clean of overgrowth before wiping the sweat away from his brow. He should bathe again. He should— 

Suddenly, a shadow appears above him, a sudden dark cloud overhead, but when Baekhyun looks up, Junmyeon is standing over him, smiling down like the sun. 

“H-Hello,” Baekhyun stutters, and he scrambles up to stand, wiping his hands on his apron.

“Hello,” Junmyeon says, and he looks around. “I thought I’d find you here.” 

“Yes, I’m… well, here I am,” Baekhyun says lamely, frowning as it comes out of his mouth. 

“Here you are,” Junmyeon says, and he looks at the dirt stains across Baekhyun’s apron. It makes Baekhyun feel like he’s naked. “Are you nearly finished with your work for the day?” 

“Nearly.” He points to a couple lines of radishes still needing to be weeded. “Just a few more.” 

“Shall I help you, then?” 

“O-Oh, I couldn’t let you,” Baekhyun says. “It’s my work. I can handle it on my own.” 

“Just because you _can_ doesn’t mean you _should_,” Junmyeon smiles. “Teach me how to weed.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “It isn’t hard. You’d probably be able to figure it out on your own.” He kneels down to the soft earth. 

“If it isn’t hard, then I’ll be happy to learn,” Junmyeon says. “I’m much better at easy things than I am at hard ones.” 

He kneels down beside Baekhyun, and immediately, the warmth of Junmyeon’s body against his own is distracting. Baekhyun blinks as he stares at the little green weeds, willing himself to move, to say something, to do literally anything besides bask in the feeling of their bodies against one another. 

“Baekhyun?” Junmyeon prompts, and he reaches down, takes the little sprinkling of leaves in his hand. “Just pull?” 

“N-No,” Baekhyun says, and he instinctively takes Junmyeon’s hand in his, moves it down to the stem of the weed. “You have to pull from the stem. You want to get the root. Otherwise, you’re not doing anything at all.” 

He moves Junmyeon’s hand to curl around the base of the plant, his fingers playing against Junmyeon’s carelessly, easily. Like they were meant to. 

“And just… pull,” Baekhyun says, and together, they lift the weed, roots and all, from the soil. “There you are.” 

“I didn’t realize there was an art to it,” Junmyeon smiles. 

“Oh, not really.” 

“There is,” Junmyeon says. “You’re quite good at your work.” He aims his smile at Baekhyun, makes Baekhyun’s teeth hurt. “And you’re a very good teacher.” 

“Oh, stop.” 

“I won’t stop.” He holds Baekhyun’s hand. “Not unless you mean it.” 

The moment that follows is fraught, kneeling in the soil, and Baekhyun feels the draw of his wolf, feels it tickling along the back of his neck. He looks at Junmyeon’s mouth, the plush pink of his lips, and he is thrown back to eighteen, stupid with grief, finding a small sliver of light within the man who kneels beside him. _Can we ever find that again? Now that we’re whole?_

“Is there anything left to do?” Junmyeon asks, and he is slow to let go of Baekhyun’s hand. 

“We mulch tomorrow,” Baekhyun says. “Nature loves to fill the holes we leave, and most often, we don’t want what she leaves us.” 

Junmyeon smiles like he finds the words charming, and Baekhyun feels heat rise to his face. 

“Then perhaps I will meet you here again tomorrow,” Junmyeon says. “You know, to get a lesson with the mulching.” 

“Taking up gathering work, are you?” Baekhyun asks. 

Junmyeon gets off his knees, and he offers Baekhyun a hand to stand. 

“Something about it is very peaceful,” Junmyeon says. “Appealing.” 

Baekhyun leans forward as wave after wave of Junmyeon’s scent pours off of his skin, tempting and cruel. 

“Let’s get lunch,” Junmyeon says. “I’ve heard there’s fresh game from the morning.” 

“All right,” Baekhyun says, alarmed at the way Junmyeon looks so at home in a place that Baekhyun knows is his own.  
  


☾

  
  
The first week is for settling in, so while the pups are pushed to the schoolhouse to jump into education, the adult wolves are free to do as they like in order to get to know how things run. Junmyeon spends his mornings with Baekhyun, behind him like a shadow. They work in the earth, and Junmyeon is astounded by the way things grow.

“I’ve never had much of a green thumb,” Junmyeon says, “and before I met you, I never had much of an interest to learn.” 

Baekhyun lets the words sit along his shoulders proudly, and he continues to lay thick handfuls of mulch along the soil. The work goes easier with Junmyeon, though Baekhyun can’t say for certain if that’s because he is such a good worker, easily taught and easily led, or because he cherishes each and every minute spent in Junmyeon’s company. 

They speak of silly, stupid things, but their days are spent in laughter and love. And even though Baekhyun dare not speak it, he does think it. There is much love between them, plenty to go around. 

“Tomorrow I’ve got to meet with the rest of the builders,” Junmyeon mentions. “Chanyeol said he’d take care of me.” 

“I’ve threatened him,” Baekhyun smiles. 

“Believe me, he told me so.” 

The rest of the work is quiet, a somber sort, and Baekhyun only speaks up once they’re walking back towards the center of the pack grounds. 

“I’ll… I’ll miss you,” Baekhyun says, and he gestures to the fields, “around here.” He walks it back, scared. “Work is much easier with another wolf around to help.” 

Junmyeon studies his face, and Baekhyun looks away, aware at how his face reddens easily. 

“I’ll miss you as well,” Junmyeon says softly. “But I do believe you know where you can find me, hm?” It makes Baekhyun look back, and he is summarily dazzled by Junmyeon’s smile. “Don’t be afraid to visit.” 

“I’m not _afraid_.” 

“Then, you’ll come see me?” Junmyeon asks. “You’ll visit often and well?” 

“I intend to visit,” Baekhyun agrees. “Often and well.” 

“Then I shall have something to look forward to,” Junmyeon says. 

He steps forward suddenly, a swelling of his scent enveloping Baekhyun, and it shocks him into silence and stillness. Junmyeon wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s body, and Baekhyun shudders, melts, shuts his eyes and lets himself feel. It is warm. It is safe. It is sound.

It is a tragedy when Junmyeon pulls away, when he turns and walks away. 

“Until then,” Junmyeon whispers, but Baekhyun still manages to catch the music of his voice.  
  


☾

  
  
It is after his work in the fields that he normally visits Junmyeon. The wolves are still figuring out their place in the new pack system, and most times, Junmyeon gets the afternoons free, same as Baekhyun. He washes his hands in the basin after he’s finished with his harvesting, drying them on his cloth before walking out of the shed, the door shut behind him.

It is a grey afternoon, not good for work in the fields but good for the fields themselves. A light rain cries over him, but he likes the feeling of it on his skin, washing away some of his sweat from the morning of work. The ground is soft underfoot as he walks, and he stops by the bushes, sweet with berries. He gathers them up in his apron, thinks about getting to share them with Junmyeon over a cup of tea. 

Baekhyun walks near one of the school houses, sees Noeul with the rest of the pups. She feels his eyes on her, and she looks. He waves to her, and she stares at him, not waving back. He smiles, hoping to goad her into a returning smile, but she turns away, focusing instead on the weaving in her lap. 

He frowns, makes his way back to the visitor’s village. 

Junmyeon is in his hut, and there is a kettle over the fire when Baekhyun goes inside. 

“Ah, come sit,” Junmyeon says happily. “I’ve just started tea.” 

“I… I don’t think I’ll stay today,” Baekhyun says. “I just wanted to—,” and he drops the berries into a little wooden bowl, “just wanted to give you these. They are sweet. I thought you might like them.” 

“Oh.” Junmyeon’s face falls. “Are you feeling well?” 

“I’m well,” Baekhyun lies. “I’m sorry. It was a very tiresome day.” 

“Was it?” Junmyeon asks. He pats the cushion beside him, next to the fire. “Here. Tell me all about it.” 

Baekhyun bites his lip, worries it, but when Junmyeon smiles softly at him, he knows that he is weak. He sits next to him, takes the tea when it is offered to him. 

“What troubles you?” Junmyeon asks. “Was the work difficult today?” 

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun says, and he plays with the cup in his hands. “I suppose the weather affected me.” 

Junmyeon smiles as he reaches forward, brushes the wet hair out of Baekhyun’s face. 

“Ah. You’re cold,” he says. “And wet.” 

A little shiver slips down Baekhyun’s spine. 

“I’m all right,” Baekhyun says, and he tightens his grip around the cup. “Don’t worry about me.” 

“How can I not?” Junmyeon wonders. “You need someone to look after you.” 

Baekhyun narrows his eyes at him. “Oh, is that right?” He sneers at Junmyeon as he puts words in his mouth. “Just a weak little omega who needs someone to take care of him? Is that what I am to you?” 

Junmyeon laughs, smiles brightly, and Baekhyun can’t help but smile back, weak and tired, the ice chipping off of him as he stares down at his tea, into his reflection. 

“You know, we all need someone to look after us,” Junmyeon says. “Alpha, beta, omega. We’re all the same.” Something about his voice makes Baekhyun look up, into his eyes, and he wishes he hadn’t. Too beautiful. Too kind. “We all need help.” 

“I suppose,” Baekhyun says stubbornly. 

“There he is,” Junmyeon says cheerfully. “My favorite.” 

Baekhyun bites across his smile, doesn’t want to let Junmyeon get the fucking satisfaction, but judging from the way Junmyeon erupts into a fit of giggles, he manages to find a way.  
  


☾

  
  
In the evenings, the six of them journey to the river to sit by the fire just as they once did, many moons ago. Much has changed since then. Now, Junmyeon and he sit closer, though their bodies do not rest against each other. Now, there is little argument between Sehun and Chanyeol. They sit on either of Minseok’s sides, loud and eager to make Minseok laugh. Baekhyun watches them, confused, mildly disgusted.

But the biggest change, of course, is Noeul. She is smart, holds a conversation well even with the grown wolves. Junmyeon bleeds pride every time she speaks, pokes fun at Chanyeol, every time she displays her handiwork in crafting for the day. 

“Look at that,” Junmyeon says, and he turns the little whittling of a wolf over in his hands, his arms wrapped around her as she sits on his lap. “Masterful.” Junmyeon tosses the creation across to the trio. “Isn’t it charming?” 

“_Charming_,” Noeul says, wrinkling her nose cutely. “That means you don’t like it.” 

“On the contrary,” Junmyeon says, and he nuzzles his face close to hers, “I am utterly charmed by it, as I am utterly charmed by you, puppy.” 

She wiggles happily, eager for praise, and Baekhyun smiles at the sight of them together, so sweet he can feel his teeth aching. 

“It is indeed a masterful rendering,” Minseok comments, and he shows it to Chanyeol and Baekhyun before flipping it back across to Baekhyun. “Looks an awful lot like you, Baekhyun.” 

The whittling lands in his hands, and he turns it over. It does bear a likeness to him. He smiles at it, strokes the tip of his finger down the lines of its tail, fluffy and full. 

He looks over at Noeul. 

“It is very fine, lady,” Baekhyun says. “You have quite a talent.” 

She looks at him blankly before turning away. Junmyeon makes a noise, pokes her in the stomach, and only then does she turn back, face miserable. 

“Thank you,” she says, and she immediately turns back to the fire. 

Junmyeon smiles at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun tries to make his stomach go back to normal, not all tense and shivering inside him.  
  


☾

  
  
He does not think more on it. It is no matter, of course. She is but a child, and children are easily confused. He means her no harm, and as long as that is the case, he’s got nothing to worry about.

Baekhyun keeps quiet when the six of them are together, watches with amusement as Chanyeol and Noeul play as if they’re the same age. He remembers, once upon a time, when she would cry whenever Chanyeol got close to her, when the only way she’d calm was resting her head against his chest. He tries not to yearn for that ease. He tries to only watch, feel joy that they’ve found their way back to each other again. 

The only time he speaks up anymore is when it is just he, Sehun, and Chanyeol, bathing in the river away from the alphas. 

“There’s something wrong,” Sehun says, and he washes under his arm, pointing with his free hand. “What’s wrong?” 

“There isn’t anything wrong,” Baekhyun says. “I’m fine.” 

“You’re so quiet,” Chanyeol chides, and he dunks his head under the water, sputters up, his wet hair curtaining in front of his face before he pushes it away. “Is it because of the pup?” 

“_No_,” he says, a bit too aggressive to be conspicuous, but they do not meddle any further, and Baekhyun tells himself that he’s glad of it. 

The rest of the time is silent, and Baekhyun wonders if he should have spoken up, should have mentioned how he feels. _There is no way he and I will ever work. She hates me. She doesn’t want me. And why would he want me if she doesn’t?_

The sound of a wolf in the trees breaks his thought. 

Suddenly, Minseok is there on the bank, standing next to the tree where their towels are hung, lit prettily by the amber light of the fire. 

“Here to escort you back,” Minseok says, “as demanded.” 

Chanyeol lifts himself out of the river with absolutely no shame, naked as the day he was born, and he hurries over, the water dripping off him. Minseok averts his eyes primly, but there is a small, amused smile on his face as he hands Chanyeol his towel to dry off. 

“Sehun, are you coming?” Chanyeol asks, and he is smiling, handsome, cheeks red and beautiful. 

Baekhyun smells it then. Love in the air. Citrus and flowers and the clean scent of fresh, icy water. He nearly chokes on the density of it. 

“I’m coming,” Sehun says. 

He too lifts himself up out of the river then, Minseok just as gallantly handing Sehun his towel to dry off. Minseok turns his back as they dress, and Baekhyun watches the two of them stare at each other, brows rising and falling as if they’re communicating with a silent code. 

“All right,” Sehun says, and they each grab Minseok by an arm before they begin to walk off through the wood, “make sure the fire is out before you go. Rest well!” 

“Yeah, rest well!” Chanyeol chimes, and there is a chorus of giggles as they move back through the trees. 

Baekhyun is left on his own, the moon staring down at him in the water. What in the world is going on between the three of them, he wonders. At least for the evening, their little stunts make Baekhyun think of something different, and for that, he’s grateful. All the strife is now replaced with sheer confusion.  
  


☾

  
  
From then on, Baekhyun keeps his eyes open. They speak a little too easily. They go off on their own a little too often. And he catches Minseok and Sehun walking off in the middle of the night on more than one occasion. The first time, Baekhyun doesn’t follow, but the second time, he knows that he must, else he’ll never rest.

This time, they are walking towards the forest by the river. It is a familiar path, so Baekhyun takes off his shoes, pads through the wood as quietly as possible. He hears bits and pieces of their conversation, never enough to make out any meaning, and it frustrates him as he tries to keep up. 

They steal away into the densest part of the forest, and Baekhyun peeks around trees as he follows them hiding a spit away, trying to listen in.

But they talk so quietly, talk so closely that he can barely figure out which is speaking and which is listening, their voices sounding so similar in a whisper. 

Baekhyun wants to get closer, maybe climb a tree and get a bird’s eye view of the pair of them, and when he makes to move, he peeks out from behind the tree, watches as Sehun closes in, Minseok’s back against the trunk of the tree. They kiss, and Baekhyun’s heart is hammering in his neck, watching something he shouldn’t be watching, something that shouldn’t be _happening_. 

He flattens his back against the tree. Tries to make sense of it. What’s going on? What is going _on_? When he turns back around to get another look, they are in the same position, but Minseok’s hands are at Sehun’s waist, Sehun’s on Minseok’s neck, and when they part, Baekhyun can hear them both sigh happily. 

It is over just as soon as it began, and Minseok pushes Sehun away by the shoulders, a quiet laugh, a cheery smile. He walks away, and Baekhyun is forced to hide himself behind the thick trunk of the oak, observing as he walks away, smelling sweet. Smelling happy. 

Sehun waits, and for a moment, Baekhyun worries that maybe he’s taken another route home, but when he pokes his head out, Sehun is standing there against the tree, smiling dreamily, eyes shut as if he’s… replaying it. 

Then, as if he can sense he’s being watched, his eyes spring open, and he stares dead into Baekhyun’s eyes. 

“Oh.” Sehun frowns. “What are you doing?” 

“What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing?” Baekhyun whispers. “What have you _done_?” 

His lips are raw and red, and he smiles at Baekhyun like it’s funny, like he’s so very clever when, in fact, he is a great fool. He walks over, stands in front of Baekhyun like a big idiot. Like a terrible boy. 

“Nothing,” Sehun whispers, and his scent is thick and flowery, the blossoming of a cherry tree. “What are _you_ doing?” 

“Spying on _you_,” Baekhyun says, and he jabs a finger into Sehun’s chest. “You’ve betrayed your friend! _My_ friend!” 

“I haven’t done anything of the sort.” He squares his shoulders, looks down at Baekhyun. And Baekhyun wants to throttle him. “Oh, don’t look at me like that.” 

“Then, kindly _explain yourself_,” Baekhyun whispers. “Because I’ve just walked upon you in the forest kissing the alpha that you and Chanyeol promised each other not to quarrel over.” 

Sehun sighs, like Baekhyun just couldn’t understand. “Well, it’s very complicated at the moment.” He tugs sheepishly at the collar of his shirt, and Baekhyun’s eyes are immediately attracted to the reddening bruise at his neck, an obvious mark of a kiss. 

“Uncomplicate matters. Otherwise, I’ll begin to scream,” Baekhyun threatens. 

“It’s only an experiment,” Sehun says, and he reaches forward, pats Baekhyun on the shoulder. “Don’t trouble yourself over it.” 

“It’s your _friendship_ you’re endangering,” Baekhyun warns. “Didn’t you say you wanted to preserve it? Didn’t you say that an alpha wasn’t as important as the bond you two share?” 

Sehun shrugs his shoulders, and Baekhyun knits his brow. 

“We’ve talked about it,” Sehun says. “Changed our minds a touch.” Baekhyun makes a noise of dissatisfaction, a shivering groan, and it makes Sehun laugh quietly. “What, is that so terrible?” 

“I just don’t understand any of it.” 

“None of it?” Sehun taunts, a brow lifted teasingly. 

“Oh, shut up,” Baekhyun says. “If you don’t want to explain, then don’t.” 

“There isn’t much to say.” He looks up to the sky. “It’s a trial. We want to… to see if it could work.” 

“Between you and Minseok?” 

“Between the three of us, of course,” Sehun says blithely, and he pats Baekhyun on the shoulder. “Try to keep up.” 

He walks away with a laugh, and Baekhyun chases after him with questions that Sehun masterfully evades. Sehun shifts into his wolf, pure white, and Baekhyun scoffs, immediately shifting behind him. 

Together, they run home, and Baekhyun nips at Sehun’s tail. He hopes Sehun understands what he means by it: _Sort everything out, because I can’t lose either of you. I’ll have nothing left_.  
  


☾

  
  
He can’t stop thinking about it, not the next day and not the day after, and he sees the three of them all together, walking too close for Baekhyun’s comfort. Sehun begins to smell like Minseok, cold and pure like rain in the winter, citrus and sweet like Chanyeol, their scents mixing and confused. Baekhyun doesn’t like that at all, just watches from afar as they spend their evenings together after Noeul has gone to bed, Junmyeon at his side.

That night, they lay in the fields together, staring at the stars, at the moon high overhead, and Baekhyun cranes his head, ears aimed to listen to their whispers. It’s then that he hears a kiss, and he becomes aware that he doesn’t know who has kissed who. 

He makes noises of distress, loudly enough and long enough that finally, the three of them stand, Sehun and Chanyeol’s arms around Minseok’s neck. 

“We’re going to bathe,” Sehun says. “See you two on the morrow.” 

Baekhyun sits up. Waves his arms around. 

“You bathed earlier,” he says. 

“We’re in need of another,” Sehun says. “Bye.” 

“Yeah, bye!” Chanyeol says. 

Minseok aims an entertained look back at Junmyeon before he is led off by the omegas, strong-willed and awful. Baekhyun hates them. Hates them all. Baekhyun looks back at Junmyeon, hands behind his head as he lays in the grass. 

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Baekhyun asks. 

“You look mad,” Junmyeon smiles. “Why are you mad?” 

“I just don’t get the three of them,” Baekhyun frowns. “First, it is an all-out war for him. Then, there was a draw. Now… now _this_?” 

Junmyeon sighs, smiles, and stares at the stars overhead. Baekhyun looks up at the sky, feels a certain magic in the air, and decides to join him. The grass is soft underneath him, and the night shimmers with the warm light of fireflies. Junmyeon touches his hand, just for a moment, and Baekhyun holds himself so still, completely unmoving. 

“It isn’t so hard,” Junmyeon says. “We’re very simple creatures, after all.” 

“Explain it to me, then,” Baekhyun says. “If it’s so easy to understand.” 

“They’re finding their footing.” 

Baekhyun turns, feels Junmyeon’s gaze on him, and when he meets his eyes, he feels so naked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“They’re trying something new,” Junmyeon says, and it’s so very quiet. “I saw them together.” 

“T-The three of them?” 

“Yeah,” Junmyeon says. 

“What were they doing?” Baekhyun asks, and for some reason, he’s scared of the answer. 

“Only talking, relax,” Junmyeon says. “But you know that it’s true. The three of them, together.” He looks off into the distance before looking back at Baekhyun. “I can see it. I can tell when people are in love. And they are.” 

Baekhyun looks into Junmyeon’s eyes, sees all the warmth in the world, and Baekhyun wants to explain that this is more than just the two of them. That there is a child to think of. That he will never be good enough for something as beautiful as a family of his own. 

“It’ll never work,” Baekhyun says. 

Junmyeon’s smile is soft and sad. 

“You don’t know that.” 

_Yes, I do_, he thinks, and he wishes he didn’t.  
  


☾

  
  
He sits them down the next morning before breakfast, and they roll their eyes when he brings up his fears.

“Baekhyun, you’re overreacting,” Chanyeol says with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll handle it fine.” 

“You’re not going to handle _anything_ because there shouldn’t be anything to handle.” He waves his arms. “Two omegas? One alpha? Don’t you see how this could go poorly in a hurry?” 

Sehun folds his arms across his chest. 

“You dislike it because it’s different,” Sehun explains. “Because you’re scared.” 

“Of course I’m scared,” Baekhyun says. “What happens if things go wrong? If you both decide you’re not meant for this sort of thing? If we stop being friends because of this. There’s plenty to lose, and this isn’t exactly a _typical_ circumstance, so there will be _atypical_ problems that you should expect and prepare for.”

“How do you prepare for something like that?” 

“You stop what you’re doing!” Baekhyun says. “You avoid the chance for trouble at all costs!” 

They look at him blankly, exchanging a look between the two of them before staring at him once more. 

“What’s this about?” Sehun asks. “Really?” 

“What do you mean? It’s about you three, it’s about the trouble you could potentially cause! It’s a real possibility!” Baekhyun exclaims. “And you’re not giving it proper thought!” 

“Then we figure it out,” Chanyeol says easily, like it doesn’t matter, like _nothing_ matters. “Why worry over problems like this? Problems that aren’t problems yet? Problems that have yet to be born?” 

Baekhyun sputters, tries to refute him somehow. Dream up an argument that will convince them both to put an end to his madness at once, but Sehun watches him silently, studies him, and Baekhyun knows that is never a good thing. 

Just as he thinks he’s about to be laid into, Sehun leans over, whispers into Chanyeol’s ear, a hand covering his mouth. Baekhyun furrows his brow, watches as Chanyeol’s expression changes. 

“What?” Baekhyun asks. “W-What are you saying? What’s wrong?” 

Sehun finally pulls back, a strangely serene smile on his face. 

“Why don’t you talk to Noeul?” Sehun says. “Why don’t you figure out what’s going wrong?” 

“N-Noeul? What’s she got to do with any of this?” 

“Everything, of course,” Sehun says. “And if after that, you still think there’s a problem with the three of us, then we can talk.” 

He watches as Chanyeol and Sehun make their way to the river, hand in hand, leaving him sitting around the great fire with no one but himself.  
  


☾

  
  
He supposes they’re right. He’s been putting it off for long enough. She doesn’t speak to him, hates to even look at him. She is sweet, kind, a funny pup to everyone besides him. He’s earned her ire, and in his heart of hearts, he knows why. Still, he’s the adult. He’s a man grown. He cannot hide behind his mother’s skirt any longer.

Baekhyun waits for her outside of the schoolhouse that day, and the rains pour down. When she exits, she stares up at him with bright gold eyes and a look of disdain. He holds a coat of waxed buckskin out over his head, offers her shelter underneath it. 

“Good afternoon, lady,” Baekhyun says. “May I walk you home?” 

“This is not our home,” she says. “We live by the water.” 

“Ah, but for now,” Baekhyun answers. 

She frowns, but she walks off towards the southeast’s grounds, and Baekhyun hurries after her, the coat stretched out so that he can fit her underneath it. 

“It is a dreary day,” Baekhyun says, trying to make her talk, but for as long as he’s known her, she’s not said more than she’s needed to towards him. “What is your favorite sort of weather, pup?” 

She goes stiff, hurries along as fast as her little feet can take her. 

“I prefer the sun,” she comments, a little huff in her words as she walks. “It was raining when I was born, or so my father says.” 

Baekhyun is stunned for words at this melancholy little puppy before him, and he holds the coat further over her head to shield her from the downpour, sudden and strong. 

“I prefer the sun as well,” Baekhyun says with a tired smile, “same as you.” She glances up at him as she moves, and he tries to smile a bit brighter. “Look at that, I suppose we’ve got something in common.” 

Immediately, she stops, and Baekhyun nearly topples over her. 

“Lady, what is the matter?” 

“You’re not my father’s mate,” Noeul says, and rain has made it to her even with his best efforts to keep her dry, dripping down her hair into her face, and she frowns up at Baekhyun. “You are not my mother.” 

The words catch in his spine, and it makes him shiver with cold and malice. He’s unwanted, just as he already knew. 

“No,” Baekhyun says, and he does his best to keep the emotion out of his voice, wants to be calm, peaceful. Good. “No, and I will never claim to be. I promise you this.” 

“He told me,” Noeul says, and her face is empty, sad. “Father told me that he likes you. And I don’t like it. I’ll never like it. I’ll never like you. I promise you.” 

The words simmer in hot and then ice cold, and he attempts to deal with the waves as they crash over him, one after another, unyielding and hard. 

“That’s all right,” Baekhyun tells her, and he tastes the rain as it sits bitterly on his tongue. “You’ll understand when you’re a bit older.” 

As the words come out of his mouth, he knows that it is the wrong thing to say. He tries to picture himself in her position, wonders what he would have said when he was her age. 

“Everyone always says I’m very mature for my age,” she says. “So I’m afraid that I don’t know that I’ll _ever_ understand.” She folds her arms across her chest. “Nor do I care to.” 

“I—I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says, and he doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for. “You… what you are feeling is normal.” 

“Just leave me alone, please,” Noeul says. “And leave my father alone too.” She shakes her head angrily, the rain dripping down her cheeks like tears, and Baekhyun wishes he knew what to say, wishes he could understand. “Once the storms have passed, we’ll leave, and we’ll never have to see you again. Ever.” 

“Noeul, I—” 

Quickly, without another word, Noeul shifts to her wolf, her golden eyes striking. She yips angrily at him, turns, and runs towards home, Baekhyun left there, open-mouthed and terrified. What he always thought, what he always _knew_ was true… it will never work.  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun does his best to avoid Junmyeon for the next several days, but Junmyeon is tenacious. That’s one of the things that Baekhyun likes best about him. He won’t give up without a fight.

“Will you at least tell me why you won’t give me the time of day?” Junmyeon asks, and he trails behind Baekhyun as he moves from stalk to stalk, pulling off ears of corn, and shoving them into his basket. 

“I’m giving you time,” Baekhyun says. “Here and now.” 

“It’s in the middle of the day, and I was supposed to be working with Chanyeol this morning.” 

Baekhyun grabs another ear, twists and pulls sharply with a bit more force than is strictly necessary. 

“Then, I suppose you better be off,” Baekhyun says with a forced smile, throwing another couple ears of corn into his basket. “Have a good day.” 

“I won’t know what’s going on until you tell me,” Junmyeon says. “So you might as well cut to the chase, fill me in on what’s bothering you, and we can proceed to fixing things.” He smiles at Baekhyun. “Hm? Doesn’t that sound much better than this?” 

It does, moon help him, it does. But he can’t pursue this any longer. Not when his child has made it so clear that he is unwanted, unnecessary. Unwelcome. 

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says softly, and the scent pours off him in luscious, delicious waves. “Speak to me, won’t you?” 

He looks into Junmyeon’s eyes, sees too much. The promise and the possibility. Baekhyun lives in temptation, the sin of loving Junmyeon too much to bear. 

“I can’t,” Baekhyun says, and he grabs his basket, turns away, intent to never speak to him again. 

He can’t keep going places where he isn’t wanted.  
  


☾

  
  
Sehun comes to him, and Baekhyun knows that is never a sign of good things to come.

He is in the middle of repairing a coat when Sehun storms into his house. Baekhyun squawks indignantly as Sehun helps himself to the kettle, pouring himself tea before sitting beside Baekhyun. 

“Hello,” Sehun says, and he gestures to the window, to the downfall of rain. “Lovely weather, isn’t it?” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. 

“I’ve something to talk to you about,” Sehun says, and he sips at his tea. 

“Of course you do,” Baekhyun says blankly. “Some problem between the three of you? Some quarrel that I’m to listen to?” 

Sehun’s brow knits together. “No, of course not.” He smiles. “And if you’re interested, we’re getting along quite well.” 

Baekhyun goes back to his sewing, angrily stabbing the needle through the fur. 

“Then what do you need me for?” Baekhyun asks, and he makes another stitch, tugging it too tight. 

“I’d like to ask about you and Junmyeon.” 

Baekhyun looks at him before looking back down at his work. 

“What is there to ask about?” 

“Oh, don’t be silly,” Sehun says. “Plenty.” 

“There is little to say,” Baekhyun says primly. 

Sehun stares at Baekhyun’s hands until they come to a stop. 

“What happened?” Sehun asks softly. 

“I’m sure you know very well,” Baekhyun says, and he stabs through the fabric once more. “I’m sure she’s been quite vocal about how she feels about me.” 

“She’s not said a word.” Baekhyun looks up, sees Sehun looking at him worryingly. “But Junmyeon has been trying to find out. He wants to know what’s wrong.” Sehun breaks into a smile. “He won’t rest. He misses you dearly.” 

Baekhyun’s stomach flares with heat, and he adds another stitch. 

“She’s confirmed what I always knew,” Baekhyun says, and even as he begins, his voice starts to crack. “It will never work between us.” 

Sehun sighs, and he moves closer, a hand on Baekhyun’s. 

“She is but a child,” Sehun says. “And sure, she is a good child, she is a wonderful child, but children do not make our decisions for us. That’s why they’re children.” 

Sehun’s scent is calming, and Baekhyun struggles against it. 

“She matters,” Baekhyun says, and the tears hang in his eyes. “Her opinion matters.” 

“Of course, it does,” Sehun says, and he touches Baekhyun on the shoulder, “but you are a good man. You are a good person. You would be a good mate to him. The two of you would make a good pair. An excellent one.” 

Baekhyun squeezes his eyes shut so hard he sees white stars on a black sky. 

“Talk to him,” Sehun offers. “Let him soothe you as he’s meant to.” 

“He is not mine,” Baekhyun says. “He’s not meant to do anything.” 

“Let it be his choice then,” Sehun says. “Let him tell you with his own voice.”  
  


☾

  
  
The builders work in the north constructing a new silo, and Baekhyun approaches just as they are beginning, digging into the soft earth for the foundation. Junmyeon’s got a spade in his hand, and Baekhyun walks over softly. He sees wolves become aware of his presence, and once Junmyeon smells him on the air, he spins like a lightning strike.

“Baekhyun,” he says, shocked, happy. “Hello.” 

“I’m only here for a moment,” Baekhyun says. “I need to be back in the fields soon.” 

“Of course.” Junmyeon smiles widely. “I’m so happy to see you. I’m so happy you came.” 

Baekhyun looks down at his feet, scoffs before he looks back up into Junmyeon’s eyes. 

“Meet me by the river,” Baekhyun says sternly. “Tonight after everyone is asleep.” 

“All right,” Junmyeon agrees. “Will we… shall I bring anything?” 

Baekhyun squints at him as he laughs, confused and a little angry. 

“It isn’t a picnic,” Baekhyun says. 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “I only thought I should be prepared.” He looks down at their feet, then back up at Baekhyun through his long, dark eyelashes. “Just in case.” 

Baekhyun instructs his body calmly and coolly, but it doesn’t seem to work, pulses of his scent emitted without his permission as Junmyeon’s pupils surge to devour the color. 

“Tonight then,” Junmyeon says, and he steps forward, embraces Baekhyun and surrounds him with the scent of the water, the boundless freedom of the sea. 

Baekhyun watches him go back to his work, eyes stuck to his body, and he wonders if maybe this wasn’t the best course of action. Wonders if maybe, he’ll only be swayed, horribly tempted by the man who best knows how to ensnare him.  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun gets to the river early, and he watches as the sun sets around him. It is he who lights the fire there that evening, stokes it into an even burn. He is alone with his thoughts for quite a while before he hears the snapping of branches, the crunching of leaves underfoot.

When Junmyeon steps out of the woods, Baekhyun is nearly bowled over by his scent, stronger than ever before. It is addicting, comforting, lovelier than ever, and Baekhyun wants to shy away. 

“Hi,” Junmyeon whispers, and the world is dark around them, save for the spot of light between them. He walks over, takes Baekhyun’s hands in his. “I’m so glad you asked me to come here.” 

Baekhyun wants to pull his hands away, wants to put some needed distance between them. But he can’t. He’s too weak. 

“Stop making this so difficult,” Baekhyun says. 

“What’s difficult?” He tilts his head to the side. “What am I doing wrong?” 

“We can’t do this.” 

Junmyeon smiles weakly. 

“Why not?” 

Baekhyun scoffs, and he draws his hands away sharply, turns, arms across his chest. He looks up to the moon, asks for just an ounce of her magic to guide him. 

“Can you be honest with me?” Junmyeon asks. “Why do you hold back when you know what you want?” 

Baekhyun turns, voice trembling. 

“You should know why,” Baekhyun says. “You should _know_. I shouldn’t have to tell you.” 

Junmyeon smiles at him like he’s amused, and Baekhyun wants to crush him in an embrace, mean and terrible. 

“Humor me,” Junmyeon says, and his words caress Baekhyun, soft as spun cotton. 

“She hates me,” Baekhyun says. “She doesn’t want me near you.” 

“She doesn’t hate you.” 

“You _know_ that she does,” Baekhyun says, and he feels the tears leap to his eyes. “You know she does. A-And she’s right.”

“Right about what?” 

“About everything.” 

“She is a smart child, but she is overly sentimental and stubborn,” Junmyeon says evenly. “She yearns for a mother that she never knew.” 

It makes Baekhyun’s eyes burn, the fire in his gut surging and roaring with dry leaves, twigs. He wants to love him. Loves him, and wants the chance. 

“And I cannot stand where your mate once stood,” Baekhyun says. “You know it. The mark on the back of your neck tells you so.” 

“I made my peace long ago,” Junmyeon says. “You know it well. But you… you have not made your peace yet, have you?” 

“D-Don’t presume anything about me,” Baekhyun says angrily. “I made peace.” 

Junmyeon steps forward, and the back of his hand against Baekhyun’s face makes him shut his eyes, gentled, calmed. 

“Not with this,” Junmyeon says. “Not yet.” 

Baekhyun opens his eyes, sees the wholeness of the love they share. Terrifying and monstrous, a storm that threatens his shores. 

“She isn’t ready,” Baekhyun says. “She won’t accept me.” 

Junmyeon stares at him, and Baekhyun feels vaguely ashamed, the whine in his voice. _Take it as a sign of how much I care for you. How much I’ve always cared. I try with all my heart to ingratiate myself into your life. I try to take the place of ghosts when I know very well how they might haunt us both until we join them in the sky._

“I never told you this,” Junmyeon whispers. “But I think it’s time.” 

“What?” 

“As soon as she was old enough to know what the words meant, I told her the story of her mother. And once the story was over, I told her that I would find another to love, to cherish with all my heart,” Junmyeon says. “She’s always known this, just as I’ve always known.” 

“W-Why would you say something like that?” Baekhyun says, and frustrated tears spill out of his eyes. “Why would you tell her that?” 

“Because it was important to me that she knew that loving someone else after someone’s gone isn’t a betrayal. That it didn’t negate the first love. That love only grows. Only expands. Only makes us better and more whole.” He smiles weakly at Baekhyun, reaches up, brushes away a tear. “I wanted her to know that well, just as I know it well. I knew the day would come when I found another, so I prepared her as best I knew how.” 

“H-How did you know?” Baekhyun asks, his voice tight with emotion. 

“Know what?” 

“That you’d find another.” 

The air is dense, sparkling with amber light and the magic of flames. 

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says with a grin. 

“What?” 

“I had already found you,” he says, and he smiles, beautiful, effervescent. “Don’t be silly.”

He lets out a horrible sound, a weeping, gasping noise, and Junmyeon laughs as he takes Baekhyun into his arms, holds him close. 

“Don’t cry,” he whispers. “It’s all right.”

“It isn’t,” Baekhyun says. “You’re nice.” 

“I do try,” Junmyeon says, and his hand on Baekhyun’s back is sweet, rubs in a looping circle. 

They stand there, bathed in the red light of the fire, and Baekhyun thinks about the girl with the golden eyes staring at him. 

“What will we do?” Baekhyun whispers, and the sound is swallowed by Junmyeon’s skin. “What if she hates it?” 

“You are my pack,” Junmyeon whispers back, and the secret simmers through Baekhyun’s blood, pleasant and hot. “I love her, and I cherish her, but I cannot ignore this. I cannot let you pass me by. She will learn to love you as I have learned to love you.” He tightens his arms around Baekhyun’s body. 

But Baekhyun pushes out of the embrace, hands at Junmyeon’s chest. He stares at Junmyeon, sees a forever in Junmyeon’s eyes, wonders if half of that belongs to him. He wants to kiss him. Wants to love him in every way he can. 

Baekhyun leans forward, and the fire light licks the side of Junmyeon’s face. He is divided in amber and black, and Baekhyun is ready for this, finally ready. He knows now, knows that if there is fate, this is his, and he’s willing to meet it. If there isn’t, he is ready to choose Junmyeon. Choose him over and over again. 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says, “if it’s too much, if it’s—” 

“It’s not,” Junmyeon whispers. “It’s not too much.” He looks deeply into Baekhyun’s eyes, searches him in that old familiar way. “Is it too much for you?” 

Baekhyun furiously shakes his head. _No_, he thinks. _If anything, it is not enough. I don’t know that I could ever have enough of you._

“I’ve… I wanted to kiss you,” Baekhyun confesses. “Before we left.” 

“I wanted to kiss you too.” 

“You should have.” 

“I know,” Junmyeon says. “Forgive me.” He balls Baekhyun’s hand up, raises it to his mouth to kiss. “For that, and for all the rest.” 

His eyes are shimmering, wet with love, and Baekhyun loves him, _loves him_. It hits him in waves, walls. 

“Yes.” 

Baekhyun smiles as he takes another small step, another step closer, and Junmyeon covers Baekhyun’s hands on his chest with his own slowly. He takes his time, and Baekhyun realizes that the feeling of Junmyeon’s hands on his was worth the wait. It wouldn’t have felt as good, he thinks, if they hadn’t waited. It would have felt like nothing. Easy. Obvious. 

But this… this feels like everything. Feels like the red burst over the fire that he saw in the Listener’s tent, twenty long summers past. Was this what she saw when she smiled? Did she see him finding something this beautiful? 

“Please,” Baekhyun says, and he feels a hint of shame against the back of his neck, but he is willing to ask if that’s what Junmyeon needs of him. “Please.” 

Junmyeon tightens his hold on one of Baekhyun’s hands as he pulls him forward by the back of the neck with the other, and when their lips finally touch once more, it is a cacophony in Baekhyun’s ears. 

They relax into the embrace, the love swirling around them noisily. He sighs out, overwhelmed and unsure, but slowly, Junmyeon moves to hold him by the small of his back, and instinctively, Baekhyun holds Junmyeon by the jaw as if to say _This is where you belong. This is where you’ve always belonged._

It is pure and chaste, but it grows, and Baekhyun breathes life to it, finally lets himself have what he’s always wanted. Somewhere, someone to belong. 

Junmyeon licks into his mouth, and Baekhyun gasps, tastes his own desire and tastes Junmyeon’s too. 

“I dreamt of you every night,” Junmyeon says. “I could not get you out of my head. Every night since we met, you have troubled me.” 

Baekhyun laughs, sharp. 

“Is that what I am?” Baekhyun asks, and he dots another kiss to the seam of Junmyeon’s lips. “Trouble?” 

“You know that much very well,” Junmyeon says, and he takes a kiss from Baekhyun, takes it like he’s owned it for years. 

“I don’t want to be trouble,” Baekhyun whispers, and he says the words along Junmyeon’s lips. “I want to please you.” 

Junmyeon groans brokenly, and Baekhyun likes the taste of that power, electric as it surges through him. He’s never felt like this before, an object of desire, but it makes him feel beautiful, makes him feel limitless, makes him feel new. 

“You please me,” Junmyeon says, and he kisses Baekhyun’s cheek, once, twice, over towards his ear, the words gentle as they glide along his skin. “You please me with everything you do. With everything you are.” 

“S-Stop,” Baekhyun says, but it is a coy plea, one that begs for more. 

Regardless of his intent, Junmyeon draws back, looks into Baekhyun’s eyes. 

“S-Should we?” 

“Should we wait?” Baekhyun asks breathlessly. 

“We can,” Junmyeon says. “It was never my intention to put you in a position where—I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I… I don’t want to… to cause offense, o-or—” 

Baekhyun stops him in his tracks, crushes his lips to Junmyeon’s as the night winds whip along the backs of their necks. Baekhyun buries his fingers in Junmyeon’s hair, growing ever longer as the days go by. He scratches his fingernails lightly against Junmyeon’s scalp as he kisses him hungrily, desperately, and the sound that Junmyeon makes, a high-pitched moan that echoes in Baekhyun’s mouth, only spurs him on.

He takes what he can get, thinks about pinning him to the ground, taking him in the dirt, in the mud, in the detritus of the forest where they belong. There is something wild about it now, hot and untamable like a fire broken loose. 

He realizes, as Junmyeon’s hands brush against the sides of his body, as their arousal grows to its feverish apex, that soon, there will be no stopping it. That they will tumble to the ground together, and without another word, they will take each other. Again, again, again. 

Baekhyun pulls back with a gasp, breaking through the glass surface of the water, and his mouth feels used. A delicious feeling that drips down his neck. Junmyeon brushes his thumb against Baekhyun’s bottom lip, and instinctively, Baekhyun lets his mouth drop open, lets Junmyeon push the tip of his thumb inside. Baekhyun kisses it wetly, stares into Junmyeon’s eyes as the scent of the ocean builds like a fucking hurricane. 

“You tempt me,” Junmyeon whispers, and he holds Baekhyun by the back of the neck, pressing another kiss to his mouth. “You make me _want_.” 

“Tomorrow,” Baekhyun says, and his voice comes out coarse. “Come back tomorrow night.” 

“Yes,” Junmyeon says. “Every night, if you ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit sorry this took so fucking long...... i have been in a very strange emotional place with this story, but hopefully this update makes up for the wait. i know its long. im sorry lkjasklj
> 
> i find it challenging to write children bc i am not a child anymore and sometimes i forget what it was like to be a child, but noeul is like, THE most important character in this story imo, so if she doesnt come across like a Real Human Being, then im doing a bad job. kids, imo, are both incredibly aware of their surroundings and intensely insular, and part of growing up is learning to be less of an island, to understand empathy through practice and to contemplate and come to terms with the existences of Selves beyond our own. being a kid is so terrifying bc everything is happening to you all at once and its nearly impossible to imagine that happening to anyone else. its like. you are the only real person in the world, and everyone else is just a character. does that make sense? was that everyone else's experience or am i being insane again. i dont know. eventually we grow out of that, but i tried to put some of that into her so that her emotions ring truer. she is just a confused kid lol. pls dont hate her 
> 
> ok. i dont know. im scared to post this chapter. im sorry. i hope you liked it. thanks for reading and for being so patient, i know im garbo at updating this. have a great day. stay warm and things. 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	10. the cradle night

Life is different with Junmyeon at his side. 

Noeul walks up ahead of them as they walk from the southeast’s grounds to the hall, leading the way, and Baekhyun worries, of course he worries. He’s only human, and while he knows that pushing the issue isn’t wise, he can’t help but feel a little bit desperate for her acceptance. Noeul means the world to Junmyeon, and Baekhyun wants with all of his heart to step into the embrace of their little family. 

But Junmyeon warned him. Slow, but steady. That’s how he intends to do it. 

As they walk, Junmyeon suddenly laces their hands together, fingers slipping between Baekhyun’s. It is a silly little affection, one that Baekhyun hasn’t yet learned to take for granted, and it fills him from head to toe with the most delicious warm feeling. 

It is then Sehun and Chanyeol begin all sorts of silly noises at their sides, just as Baekhyun feared they would. But before he can throw something back at them, Minseok is already there, doing it for him. 

“Oh, enough,” Minseok says, and he swats them both. “Leave them be.” 

“We aren’t _saying_ anything,” Chanyeol argues. 

“Yes, we’ve only made sounds,” Sehun says. 

“You two are devilish,” Minseok groans. “Haven’t you been saying for a moon that you wanted them to get together once and for all?” 

“Yes, but you can’t expect us not to make sounds!” Chanyeol says. “It’s so exciting!” 

“Yes,” Sehun agrees, nodding wisely, “very exciting.” 

Junmyeon tightens his hand around Baekhyun’s, gives it a little pulsing squeeze. 

Life is different, but it isn’t unpleasant.  
  


☽

  
  
Junmyeon has little qualms about making the state of their relationship known, and it makes Baekhyun’s skin crawl. He would have preferred to keep it a secret for a while, ease into things that way, but Junmyeon clutches Baekhyun’s face in his hands, kisses him softly. Baekhyun’s still getting used to it, the way it makes the tips of his ears go hot.

“I refuse to hide you,” Junmyeon says, his mouth against Baekhyun’s. “Something so beautiful, tucked away? No. Never.” Baekhyun shuts his eyes, hands cupped around Junmyeon’s along his cheeks as he grimaces through an attempted smile. “Oh, enough. It’s for the best. No one ever got along well with secrets.” 

“I suppose not.” He wants to fight back, but he can’t think of anything clever to say. “All right. _All right._” 

“Tonight,” Junmyeon says. “After supper. We’ll talk to her then.” 

“Shouldn’t you do it on your own?” Baekhyun asks. “I don’t want to impose…” 

“What’s mine is yours.” 

“She’s your child,” Baekhyun says. “She is not my child.” 

Junmyeon shuts his eyes. 

“Perhaps not yet,” Junmyeon says. “But hopefully someday.” 

Baekhyun’s stomach tenses painfully inside him, a phantom ache. 

“I will not force you,” Junmyeon tells him. “Never. If at any point, you change your mind, you want to… to back away from this, then—” 

“No.” He takes Junmyeon’s hands away from his face, holds them between their bodies. He squeezes them tightly between his own. “No, I… I won’t.” 

“But you can.” 

“But I won’t.” 

Junmyeon makes a noise, tugs Baekhyun into an embrace. Their bodies are warm, scents thick, and moon, Baekhyun could get used to this feeling so fast. 

“But you can, if you need,” Junmyeon whispers. “Just tell me that you know that you could, and there would be nothing but love between us.” 

_Love_, Baekhyun thinks, and he leans his head against Junmyeon’s shoulders. _What a pretty word._

“Yes, all right,” Baekhyun says. “I know.”  
  


☽

  
  
Baekhyun sits on the furs next to Junmyeon, Noeul before them, her little hands folded in her lap primly.

“Would you like to pour for us?” Junmyeon asks, nodding his head towards the kettle. 

She makes no sound as she gets her knees beneath her, meticulously pouring the tea for the three of them. If nothing else, she is polite when Junmyeon is there. Baekhyun bites his lip to stop from smiling, secretly pleased. 

When she sits back down, legs folded, she stares at Junmyeon as though she is waiting for him to begin. 

Sure enough, he begins. 

“I intend to bond with Baekhyun,” Junmyeon tells her plainly. “Not today, nor tomorrow, but some time in the future. When we’re both ready.” 

It makes Baekhyun’s stomach fill with heat, makes him leak out scent that he doesn’t mean to let leak. She sniffs, a little grimace on her face, and Baekhyun looks down to his hands, to his reflection in the tea. 

“All right,” she says evenly. 

“You are a good girl,” Junmyeon says, and he turns to Baekhyun, laces their hands together. “And Baekhyun is a good man. The best I ever knew. I know that you will come to love him as I love him.” 

She looks down at her hands, twisting them together like she’s thinking. Then, suddenly, she looks up, eyes alight.

“B-But aren’t we meant to return home?” she asks excitedly. “You… You said the rebuild was going well. So… so we’re going home soon!” Noeul’s face twists for a second, and she looks very much a child then. “Or have you lied to me?” 

“I haven’t lied to you,” Junmyeon says. “We will return with the rest of the pack.” Junmyeon turns, pats Baekhyun’s hand in his. “But the time will come when we become a family. The three of us.” 

She looks down, doesn’t dare say what she’s probably thinking. 

“Noeul,” Junmyeon says gently, “I won’t tell you how to feel.” 

“All right,” Noeul says. 

“You can share with us.” He squeezes Baekhyun’s hand in his. “We love you. We care for you.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” she says. Her lip wobbles. “May I eat by the river?” 

Junmyeon sighs. 

“Yes, all right,” he says. “Be back by sundown.” 

Noeul hurries away from the table, her little embroidered sleeves wiping at her face, and the door shuts behind her, leaving them there in the middle of the room, tea untouched. 

“We’ll be patient,” Junmyeon says. “She will figure out what she’s feeling soon. I know it.” Baekhyun nods in response. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay,” Baekhyun says. 

Junmyeon looks in his eyes, and Baekhyun can feel Junmyeon searching him. 

“You are hurt,” Junmyeon says, and he reaches up, brushes the back of his hand against Baekhyun’s cheek. “My sweet.” 

“I want to help. I want her…” 

“To love you,” Junmyeon says. 

“Is that so silly?” Baekhyun asks. 

Junmyeon smiles as he wraps Baekhyun in his arms, embracing him fully. 

“No. No, it isn’t.”  
  


☽

  
  
He devises several plans, and over the course of the next week, he enacts them. First, he stops by Sehun’s, flirts with Sehun’s mother until she gives him several handfuls of her honey candies wrapped in the pretty honeycomb-printed paper.

The next day, he finds Noeul by the river. Junmyeon told him that she’s been favoring the area… something about missing the water. Baekhyun’s heart aches for her, but he wants to win her over anyway, so he uses the information to his advantage. 

She is skipping stones, and he approaches quietly, so quietly that she doesn’t notice until he is right next to her. 

“Hello, lady,” Baekhyun says. “It is a lovely day, isn’t it?” 

She sighs. “Yes. Very pleasant.” 

Baekhyun thinks it’s a start. 

“I’ve got something,” Baekhyun says. “Something for you.” 

Noeul turns wordlessly, and when she faces him, Baekhyun sticks out his hand. She offers both her own, and he drops the candies into her open palms, delighted when he garners the desired effect: a little closed-mouth smile. 

“These are my favorites,” she says, wonder in her voice. 

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, smiling. “Are they?” 

She stares up at him, eyes narrowing, the smile fading. 

“My father must have told you,” Noeul says. “Or perhaps my uncle.” 

Baekhyun thinks on it for a second before he realizes that she means _Minseok_. Even still, she’s figured him out, the devil, and he feels he must confess.

He bows in front of her. “Yes, my lady.” He straightens up, smiles at her. “I confess, I will do anything to earn your trust.” 

“I am not so easily won,” she says snootily, and if Baekhyun didn’t want to kill her, he would want to kiss her for being so funny and cute. She opens the palm of her hand, the candies looking especially plain. “Some honey candy? Please. I am worth much more.” 

“Well, it was my first try,” Baekhyun smiles. “Perhaps, I’ll think of something better next time.” 

She turns, her twin braids flying back over her shoulders. “I don’t care.” She shifts, black fur glittering in the sun before she runs away, pads pounding against the earth of the wood. 

Baekhyun stands there for another several seconds before letting his shoulders fall, all the tension leaking away, before making his way back to the center of the pack-grounds.  
  


☽

  
  
He goes home, and he sees his mother there in the den. Baekhyun loves her, wants to pick her brain on these kinds of things, but he’s never sure how much he can spill, how much of himself he should reveal. In many ways, he is still the same puppy he always was, trying to get away with stealing extra desserts, sneaking off to the woods to look at duskeels when he knew he wasn’t supposed to.

Baekhyun still feels like he’s got things to hide, but she is the only person who he can talk to about this, he thinks. 

She becomes aware of his gaze on her; he can smell it on her, but she doesn’t move. Doesn’t even look up from her work. Instead of saying anything, instead of making a sound, he simple walks over, sits down next to her on the furs, and studies her. She is in the middle of a large project, a blanket. She smells like the woods, and it is a comfort to him. He sighs, lets his back curve into bad posture, and he waits. 

Sure enough, the words come, just as he knew they would. 

“Are you ever planning on bringing him around?” she says, and she doesn’t even bother to look up from her work. 

He’s thought about it. Bringing Junmyeon home to meet them. They’ve greeted each other pleasantly before at meals, but never… never as a prospective pairing for Baekhyun. Never when it was agreed upon that he would be spending the rest of his life with Baekhyun. 

“Eventually,” Baekhyun says. “Once I’m convinced you won’t devour him.” 

“Oh, hush now,” she says. “He’s a good boy.” 

“He’s old,” Baekhyun says. 

“Which means he’s probably got more sense than you.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Junmyeon is foolish in his own way. 

“How is the pup?” his mother asks. “The pack likes her quite a bit. Does she favor you?” 

“She is… she’s a good girl,” Baekhyun says blandly. 

“Oh.” 

“Oh, what?” 

“She doesn’t like you.” His mother was always good at filling in the blanks. “Ah, well. It will come with time.” 

Baekhyun sighs, and he folds his legs up a little more. 

“I’m afraid it won’t.” 

“You don’t think?” 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “She’s stubborn. I’ve been trying to be good to her, but she… she wants little to do with me.” 

“She’s a child. She will mellow.” 

“I’m not so sure,” Baekhyun says. 

There is a slick quiet that unfolds over them, and Baekhyun contributes his fair share, silent enough that he can hear his heartbeat. 

“When you were a pup,” his mother says, and she looks up, watches him with careful eyes, “I often wished I had more hands.” 

“Why?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Because you were so many handfuls,” she smiles. “You were a little ball of fire.” 

“No, I wasn’t,” Baekhyun says. “I was a good puppy.” 

“You were _something_.” She shakes her head, goes back to her knitting. “Moon, you must have forgotten what you were like. But I’m here to remind you.” 

“All right, then, remind me.” He settles his legs into a knot, watches as her hands work deftly. “Tell me.” 

She glances up, a little smirk on her face. 

“You used to shift when you didn’t want to listen,” his mother says. “You would run off to the forest and howl for your little friends.” 

“Oh, that was once or twice,” Baekhyun says. 

“You ate nothing but oats for a month because Chanyeol told you he wanted to stop eating meat, and you said that a good friend would do the same. For solidarity’s sake.” 

“We were only seven summers, then!” 

“And there was the time you fell from the tree,” she says, shaking her head. “You were always so fearless. So ready for adventure. And when you broke your leg, it nearly killed me.” 

“W-Why?” 

“Well, first, a parent hates to see their pup in pain that they can’t make quick work of,” she says, and she stills her hands before she looks up into his eyes. “And second, because you couldn’t make your way to classes for a moon, so I stayed home from the hunt, had to keep you entertained.” She grins brightly as she remembers. “Worst moon of my life.” 

“I wasn’t that bad,” Baekhyun argues. 

“You were,” she says. “And that’s why I love you. You never lost your fire, and you never will.” 

He sighs. No matter how much truth rests within her words, it matters not. Noeul is not the same as he. 

“She’s so different than me,” Baekhyun says. “So different and so… sweet. Kind. Smart.” 

“Then she’s not _so_ different,” his mother smiles. “She will come around.” 

“And if she doesn’t?” 

“She will.”

Baekhyun watches his mother knit, but after a moment, he is bowled over with a wave of appreciation, affection, love for her. He leaps from his spot on the furs, and he wraps his arms around her tightly, squeezing her tightly. 

“Oh, stop it,” she says, her voice swallowed up by Baekhyun’s clothes. “I’ve got needles in my hands.” 

He withdraws with a smile on his face. He didn’t get what he came for. He got something better.  
  


☽

  
  
He continues his tasks, trying to lure her into friendship, and he tries almost everything he can imagine. He knows her to be fond of carving, so he takes it upon himself to fashion her a brand new chisel and gouge. She takes them with a polite bow, and immediately runs away from him, though he does find her using them the following day when he sees her at breakfast. He nods at her hands, smiling, and she turns her back on him. He sighs into his oats, and Junmyeon pats him on the back.

“Has anyone ever accused you of trying too hard?” Sehun asks. 

“You,” Baekhyun mutters, “on multiple occasions.” 

Minseok caps Sehun by the back of the neck, and Sehun gives him a raise of the brow. 

“Don’t be cruel to him,” Minseok says, his voice soft. “He only wants to make a friend.” 

“Yes, I suppose,” Sehun says, and he presses a kiss to Minseok’s cheek, high and happy. “You mellow me in ways I do not appreciate.” 

“Sure,” Minseok hushes, patting him on the head. “Sure.”  
  


☽

  
  
The days are difficult, but they get along much the same as they always have. They eat, they work, and on occasion, Junmyeon takes him to the river so that they can kiss. It feels like they’re children with their first taste of love, and Baekhyun supposes it’s true for exactly half of them. Still, when he has Junmyeon against the great oak tree, the fluttering glow of fireflies the only light that rivals the moon.

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says, and his fingers dance through Baekhyun’s hair. He’s pulled it loose from Baekhyun’s braid, and Baekhyun tries not to shiver against Junmyeon’s body. 

“Yes?” He presses another soft kiss to Junmyeon’s cheek. “Is it time for you to return?” 

“Soon.” Junmyeon brushes his fingertips against Baekhyun’s cheek. “Regretfully.” 

“Mm,” Baekhyun hums. “Tell me all about your regrets, this evening.” 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, pulling Baekhyun into another blisteringly good kiss. 

“I’ve something planned,” Junmyeon says cryptically. “So, if it would be all right with you, I would ask your presence tomorrow night.” 

“For what?” Baekhyun asks, narrowing his eyes. 

“It’s a surprise.”

“A good one?” 

“Hopefully,” Junmyeon answers. “Will you come?” 

“If you ask me to be there, then I shall be there,” Baekhyun says, and he tosses his waved hair back over his shoulder. “Aren’t I such a good omega? Doing what my alpha bids?” 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, but he tugs Baekhyun into a kiss all the same, so Baekhyun takes that as a yes. 

“Okay,” Junmyeon says, pressing a final kiss to Baekhyun’s lips. “I’ve got to be off. So remember. Tomorrow night.” 

“Yes, Tomorrow night.” 

Junmyeon turns, takes to a run like he can’t possibly contain his excitement. In the next second though, he looks over his shoulder, shouting at Baekhyun, a pretty smile on his face. 

“Don’t eat supper, all right?” 

“All right,” Baekhyun calls back, and it tastes like the berries of summer, sweet and ripe.  
  


☽

  
  
The next evening, the air seems a bit more magical, a little more mystical than it normally feels. Baekhyun can’t tell if it’s just some conjuring of his mind, but when he looks up to the crescent moon above, he thinks _Maybe there is a reason the pack holds this night above all else._

He hasn’t paid much mind to the moon’s cycle, hasn’t needed to, but for some reason, he shivers at the thought of this Cradle Night. Seeing Junmyeon, being with him… it seems too romantic. More than what Baekhyun deserves.

Baekhyun half expects to beat Junmyeon there, but when he arrives at the river bank, Junmyeon is standing facing the water, hands held behind his back with poise. Baekhyun takes a quiet moment just to observe him, silencing his footsteps and watching. His shoulders are strong, and his scent… it moves along the water with purpose. Baekhyun shuts his eyes, lets it overwhelm him. He breathes out happily, and when he opens his eyes again, Junmyeon is facing him, smiling. 

“Good evening,” Junmyeon says softly. He looks up to the sky. “A pleasant night.” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun agrees. “Very pleasant.” 

Junmyeon stares at him before breaking into a laugh, hands falling to his sides. 

“I’m sorry, I… I’m nervous,” he says. He looks back up to meet Baekhyun’s eyes. “Do you feel the same?” 

“Why do you think I’m still over here?” Baekhyun breathes, mouth curling into a smile. 

Junmyeon takes a step away from the water, sticks out his hand like he is bidding Baekhyun to take it. 

“Come to me,” Junmyeon says softly, and he takes another step closer to Baekhyun. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” 

Baekhyun huffs, steps forward from the wood. 

“I _know_ there isn’t anything to be nervous about, but that doesn’t often help my nerves.” 

He laces his fingers through Junmyeon’s, familiar and comforting. 

“You’re very smart, aren’t you?” 

“Exceedingly bright,” Baekhyun says, and Junmyeon grins at him. 

They stand there, holding hands under the white light of the moon, and Baekhyun feels most at home, intensely settled with this alpha. He cannot imagine being with anyone else, loving anyone else. There is something boundless about him, his borders stretching off into the distance, so broad that Baekhyun can’t see the ends of him. And maybe that’s why Baekhyun fell for him so thoroughly. He always wanted an adventure, always wanted security too. Contradictions, difficult to resolve. 

But Junmyeon can be all those things at once as if it isn’t even difficult. 

“Shall we… should we walk?” Junmyeon offers. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun agrees. “Yes, that would be very… very good.” 

Junmyeon snorts, and he offers Baekhyun his hand. Baekhyun peers down at it before he laces his fingers with Junmyeon’s, tied like two ends of a rope. 

“I’m sorry it’s so… so strange,” Junmyeon says, and they walk along the bank of the river, the laughter of the water happy and lovely in Baekhyun’s ears. “I’m not used to being so…” 

“So?” 

“So happy.” 

Junmyeon couples it with a squeeze of his hand, and Baekhyun’s stomach flutters inside him as he smells the rolling waves of the ocean, free and open and seductive. _Yes_, Baekhyun thinks. _Soon, this will belong to me._

“I’ve… I wanted to do something special for you,” Junmyeon says, and Baekhyun waits for the second part of the thought, though it never comes. 

“You don’t have to.” He tightens his hold on Junmyeon’s hand. “You don’t have to do anything.” 

“I’m afraid it’s too late.” 

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asks. “Too late for what?” 

“I’ve already done it, and now, I think it is too late to walk it back,” Junmyeon laughs. “But… But I wanted to say, you don’t need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, we can go as slowly as you like, it doesn’t need to be tonight, of all nights. Ah, I’m—”

“Stop talking.” 

“Right.” 

Baekhyun laughs, squeezes Junmyeon’s hand in his, and they walk, Baekhyun’s stomach leaping with anticipation. 

He recognizes where they are walking as soon as they leave the wood by the river, and as they approach the heat cabin, Baekhyun’s hands start to sweat. 

“If you don’t want to go in, we don’t have to,” Junmyeon says. “I only thought—” 

_Let the love in_, the Listener said. 

Baekhyun looks to him as they stand there, and he pushes himself into Junmyeon’s embrace, surprises him with a kiss that tastes like cinnamon. 

“I want to go in,” Baekhyun says. 

“Really?” Junmyeon asks, as if for just a moment, the thought entered his head that Baekhyun might not want this, want _him_ for this life and every life to come. 

Baekhyun acts both with word and action, utters his “Yes,” as he pushes the door open, his other hand clutching Junmyeon’s. 

Immediately, the scent that overwhelms him is… not what he expected. Butter, herbs, roasted meat, the smell of wine. He closes his eyes, inhales deeply. His chest fills with it as he walks blindly into the room. He lets the scent guide him, and he happens upon the supper spread out upon a table as long as he is. 

It is usually empty, save for the bed. But now, there is furniture, the kind you might expect in a home. Near the hearth, there is the finely crafted table, the bowed legs and feet engraved into handsome claws. There are two chairs on either side of the table, each just as fine as the table itself. There is a small wooden bowl stuck with a smattering of tallow candles, and coupled with the firelight, it gives the room a soft amber glow. 

The rest of the cabin has been decorated too, albeit sparsely. There are wooden vases full of flowers all through the room. The furs on the bed, Baekhyun immediately recognizes them as Junmyeon’s. Walking closer, he breathes in the air, smells Junmyeon everywhere. 

He turns, sees Junmyeon standing there with his hands behind his back, looking more austere than he has in weeks. 

“Who did you bribe for this?” Baekhyun asks. “To use such a place…” 

“Let’s not discuss such matters now. All that you need to know is that I have to clean the place thoroughly after we’re… finished with it,” Junmyeon says inelegantly, and it makes Baekhyun choke out a laugh. “What? What’s so funny?”

“I’ve never seen you so nervous,” Baekhyun laughs. “Did you really think I didn’t want to?” 

“Well, I’ve learned not to presume anything.” Junmyeon steps forward, pulls Baekhyun into his arms. “I believe _you_ were the one who told me not to presume anything.” 

“You are permitted to presume about this,” Baekhyun says. “This one thing.” 

Junmyeon cups Baekhyun’s jaw with his hand, guides him into a kiss deep as the ocean. Baekhyun loses himself to it, eyes squeezed shut as he holds Junmyeon tightly to him, body thrumming with heat already. 

“We should eat,” Junmyeon whispers, the words reverberating against Baekhyun’s lips. “Else your food get cold.” 

“It’ll keep,” Baekhyun says. “I promise, it’ll keep.” 

“You’ll need your strength,” Junmyeon teases. 

Baekhyun takes Junmyeon’s hand from his face, twists it behind Junmyeon’s back until he yelps. 

“I’ve got plenty,” Baekhyun says, and he kisses Junmyeon sweetly, licks into his mouth like a promise of what comes next. “And you?” 

“Perhaps, I’ll need it more than you,” Junmyeon says, slowly pulling until his arm is flat against their bodies. “You intend to hurt me tonight?” 

Baekhyun feels himself dripping into something, some_one_ he’s never gotten the chance to be before, and it feels delightful, feels like putting on fresh furs, stepping into warm waters, the feeling of wine dizzying your head. This drunkenness, it is _power_. 

“Is it meant to hurt?” He trails his fingers down Junmyeon’s chest, tantalizing. “Alpha, I’ve never done it before. I’m afraid you’ll have to instruct me in the matters of love.” He steps impossibly closer, their bodies tight together, and he kisses Junmyeon lushly. “Do you think I’ll be a fair learner?” 

Junmyeon breathes out unsteadily, shaking against Baekhyun’s body. 

“Better than fair, if the way you kiss me is any judge.” 

Baekhyun is pleased by the answer, grins as he kisses Junmyeon again, kisses him harder and more passionately than ever before. It gets easier and easier, more and more familiar as they push against one another. It is better than he imagined during his heat, and it seeps through his skin, honey and wine. 

“The way you smell,” Junmyeon says, and he buries his face by Baekhyun’s neck, presses open-mouthed kisses to his skin. “It is new, and yet so familiar.” 

“Don’t you remember? You made me go into heat,” Baekhyun says, and he can feel the flames under his skin. “The first true heat I ever had.” 

“I found it hard to leave your side,” Junmyeon confides. “I found it hard to do anything but think about how greatly I wanted to enter the tent. Take you in my arms.” 

Baekhyun is thrown back to those restless nights, slick between the legs as he is now. It is a haze now, but he remembers the way it tasted. The way he wanted. Learned desire by the gentle touch of Junmyeon’s scent. 

“We don’t have to move any further than this,” Junmyeon tells him. 

“Yes, we do,” Baekhyun breathes. “I’ll be greatly disappointed if the evening stops here.” 

“It’s up to you.” 

“Isn’t it up to both of us?” 

“You must know,” Junmyeon says, and he presses the pad of his thumb against Baekhyun’s bottom lip, slick and sensitive, “that I want you much more now than I’ve ever wanted anything before. And I’ve been waiting a long time to have you.” Baekhyun opens his mouth, lets Junmyeon’s thumb meet his tongue. It makes Junmyeon pull him into a kiss, hot like the rising embers of a new fire. “You must know by now that I am completely, utterly, thoroughly in love with you, with every part of you, and I think I’ve been that way for a great while.” 

Baekhyun moans, the words filtering in, sending warmth through his blood. 

“I love you,” Baekhyun says, desperate and wanton for this and more. “I love you, I want…” 

“Tell me,” Junmyeon says, and he takes Baekhyun in a kiss, doesn’t let him say the words. 

But Baekhyun knows that actions speak louder than words anyway. He won’t leave anything to the imagination. Not tonight. 

He backs away from Junmyeon, puts a spit of distance between them. Then, he takes his shirt, pulls the tie around the neck, and drags it up and over his head. Junmyeon’s eyes move, take in the sight of freshly bared skin, and Baekhyun lets him look his fill, tossing the shirt casually to the side before stepping forward once more, pulling the tie at Junmyeon’s shirt. 

Junmyeon kisses him, lets him manipulate his body and his clothes until his shirt rests alongside Baekhyun’s on the wooden floor of the cabin. When they kiss, their skin pressed together, the feeling of Junmyeon’s flesh upon his own, it makes Baekhyun whine. 

He pushes their pants down to the floor, slowly, before he can talk himself out of it. If he thinks, he might tell himself he’s not worth it. He might tell himself that he doesn’t deserve such love. Once, he thought he might never have it because he was barren. But now… now, he can have whatever he likes and he won’t let himself feel bad about it. 

The scent of arousal is thick in the room, and Baekhyun nearly chokes on the thickness of it, the clean smell of water, sweeter than normal. 

“I… I want you,” Baekhyun moans, and he hugs Junmyeon tight, feels Junmyeon’s cock slot hard and insistent against his own, pressed up between their stomachs. “I’ve wanted you ever since that night.” 

“Still, It doesn’t feel right,” Junmyeon says, and he presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s neck. “Getting to take something so beautiful.” 

Baekhyun is slow to lower himself onto the bed, Junmyeon’s eyes stuck to him. He doesn’t know what to do with this dripping hot feeling inside him, doesn’t know how he’s supposed to hide just how much he _wants_ it. 

“You cannot take what already belongs to you,” Baekhyun says, and he pulls Junmyeon onto him.

“You are not mine, nor anyone’s to possess,” Junmyeon whispers against his mouth, “which makes it all the sweeter that you choose to give yourself to me.” 

Baekhyun breathes heavily, his chest collapsing with the weight of the words. 

“As if I am some great present,” Baekhyun laughs. 

But Junmyeon is deadly serious when he stares into Baekhyun’s eyes, hard and soft all at once. 

“You are.” 

Baekhyun cannot entertain that with words, can only show Junmyeon how much he loves him with another kiss, another, another. One thousand kisses meld into one, and Baekhyun loses track as they move together, gentle rolls of their bodies like ocean waves. 

He can feel himself leak with pleasure, and Junmyeon kisses down his body, licking at his nipples. He’s never felt so sensitive before, never felt like his desire was determined the way it feels now. He arches his back, pushes his chest against Junmyeon’s mouth. 

Junmyeon licks and sucks, kissing along Baekhyun’s skin. Baekhyun shuts his eyes, floating on the surface of the feeling. Junmyeon touches him carefully like he’s afraid Baekhyun will break, and Baekhyun digs his nails into the meat of Junmyeon’s shoulders, drags them down his back. 

“Do you intend to leave your mark?” Junmyeon asks, and the words dance along Baekhyun’s skin, tickling and teasing. “For everyone to see?” 

“No,” Baekhyun says, and he claws a little deeper, leaving lustful red lines in his wake. “Only me.” 

“Yes, omega,” Junmyeon hums, and it vibrates along Baekhyun’s stomach. “Only you.” 

He kisses down, down, down, and Baekhyun feels his chest cave in with how much he wants, sucking air into his mouth as though he could ever get enough when he knows that he couldn’t. There will never be enough air in this room. It is too hot for it to ever stay. 

Junmyeon licks the skin of Baekhyun’s lower abdomen, Baekhyun’s cock hard and slick against his body, and Baekhyun trembles with desire. 

“What does my omega want?” Junmyeon asks, and he brings his hand to Baekhyun’s cock, each touch more wonderful than the last. “What does he desire?” 

“You,” Baekhyun says brokenly. “All of you.” 

Junmyeon presses a closed-mouth kiss to the head of Baekhyun’s cock, and Baekhyun feels himself pulse and leak at the feeling. He screws his eyes shut, desperate for something unnameable. Then suddenly, he is overwhelmed, soft warmth enveloping him. 

He opens his eyes, panicked to see Junmyeon mouthing at the head of his cock. For a moment, Baekhyun is transfixed, thrusting his hips idly as he stares down at the tops of Junmyeon’s cheeks, red and lovely. Stares at the length of his lashes, full and dark. He is near to spending, ending it even before it’s begun. 

“W-What are you doing?” Baekhyun asks, and he swats at Junmyeon. “S-Stop it.” 

Immediately, Junmyeon withdraws, and as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, Baekhyun’s stomach churns with heat. 

“Was it unpleasant?” Junmyeon asks. “I confess, I’ve never—” 

“N-No, it wasn’t. It was just… you’re… you’re doing it all without me,” Baekhyun scolds. “I-I’d like to be included in the proceedings.” 

Junmyeon laughs, the heat of the words along the low part of Baekhyun’s stomach, and it makes him shudder. 

“Yes, my love. Whatever you desire.” 

He takes Baekhyun’s hand in his, brings it down, down Baekhyun’s body. Their fingers play through the slick between Baekhyun’s legs, and it makes Baekhyun moan sharply. 

“Whatever you desire,” Junmyeon reminds him, and Baekhyun slips the tip of his finger inside himself, arching his back as Junmyeon kisses at his wrist. “Does it hurt, my love?” 

“N-No,” Baekhyun says, and tears collect at the corners of his eyes. “No, it feels good.” 

Junmyeon sits back, watches as Baekhyun touches himself, the length of his first finger slipping in easily. Baekhyun shuts his eyes, tries not to feel embarrassed of the pleasure he’s able to bring to himself. He twists his hips, lets the moon guide him, reminds himself that this is natural, that the feeling surging through him is good. He opens himself on two fingers, and then three, and before long, his hand is coated in his own slick and his moans are only drowned out by the hushed sounds of Junmyeon’s breath. 

“I’m ready,” Baekhyun says, and he reaches up, pulls Junmyeon by the shoulder. “Come. Come inside me.” 

Junmyeon shudders, leans down. Kisses Baekhyun sweetly, their bodies nearly connected. 

“May I touch you first?” Junmyeon asks. 

“N-No, I—” 

“You?” 

“It’s too shameful,” Baekhyun says, and he throws an arm over his face to cover his eyes. “You won’t ever be able to look at me the same again.” 

Slowly, Baekhyun’s arm is lowered from his field of vision, Junmyeon smiling down at him. 

“Shameful?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, and he juts his chin out. “I’m—” 

“You are nothing short of perfect,” Junmyeon tells him. “And it is a very happy thing that I’ll never be able to look at you the same again.” He lowers himself, kisses Baekhyun thoroughly. “From this moment on, I do not look at you as simply a friend, confidant, or… or maybe lover. From now on, I look at you as my mate. My bond under the light of the moon.” 

Baekhyun crumbles, lip wobbling as he winds his arms around Junmyeon’s neck, pulling him into another embrace as he lets the tears fall. 

“Don’t cry,” Junmyeon says, and he tightens his hold on Baekhyun’s body, hugs him closer. “There’s nothing to cry for.” 

“You must always cry for beautiful things.” Baekhyun pulls Junmyeon by the neck so that he might look into his eyes. “The moon wants to know that she’s done well.” 

“With you, she’s done well.” 

They kiss, and it is beautiful, everlasting love.

“Please,” Junmyeon whispers, his lips against Baekhyun’s. “Let me touch you.” 

Baekhyun bites his lip, teeth brushing against Junmyeon’s mouth, blood red and sensitive. 

“Yes. Touch me.” 

Junmyeon slips down his body. Baekhyun wants to shut his eyes, but he knows that if he didn’t commit every little bit of this to memory, he’ll regret it later. No matter how shameful he might feel, no matter how embarrassing… he will remember. He will open his eyes to it. 

When the tip of Junmyeon’s finger plays at his hole, Baekhyun shivers, his spine curving as the pleasure takes him. Everything about it feels correct, like it’s just suddenly falling into place. He stares down at Junmyeon, watches him kiss the head of Baekhyun’s cock, watches him lick at it, kittenish and sweet. It makes him moan, makes him cry out with need. And then, when their eyes meet, Baekhyun nods at Junmyeon, gives Junmyeon the wordless assent he wants. 

Junmyeon pushes his finger inside Baekhyun’s body, and the swelling of arousal is enormous, almost too intense. 

Only a minute or two after, though, he’s adjusted. And that is when he begs for more. 

“I intend to be careful with you,” Junmyeon says quietly, slowly fucking Baekhyun with his index finger. “I won’t hurt you.” 

“You _won’t_,” Baekhyun whines. “You won’t, I swear it.” 

“You swear?” 

“Y-Yes,” Baekhyun says 

“Please,” Baekhyun moans. “Please.” 

“You have never begged for anything like this before,” Junmyeon says in wonder, pressing a wet kiss to the sensitive inside of Baekhyun’s thigh. 

“I’ve n-never wanted anything like this before.” 

Junmyeon groans, slips in a second finger along with the first. He pushes them deeper inside Baekhyun’s body, twisting them until they brush up against the spot that makes Baekhyun’s toes curl with pleasure. He moans, a shocked little sound. Each time he pulls them out and pushes them back in again, it feels better than the time before, better than the time before that too. It seems to multiply, compound, expand into something eternally perfect, skimming along his skin.

“P-Please,” Baekhyun whispers, and he moves to press his heels down onto Junmyeon’s back, egging him on. “Please, I need—”

“More?” He slides a third finger inside Baekhyun’s body, and he meets no resistance. Baekhyun whimpers, pulls his legs back as he pushes down onto Junmyeon, and bares his neck. “And now you’re begging for a bite? Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” 

“S-Shut up,” Baekhyun laughs, and he spreads his legs a little wider, will beg more if he needs. “Please. Just—” 

Junmyeon touches him, cursing him with a pleasure so immense it makes it hard for Baekhyun to think. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Shut up,” Baekhyun says. “Shut up, and—” 

“All right, all right,” Junmyeon laughs, and he pushes Baekhyun’s legs wider, hands strong on Baekhyun’s thighs. “Enough.” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun agrees. “_Enough._” He pulls Junmyeon to him, his fingers in Junmyeon’s hair. “Hello.” 

“Hello.” He kisses Baekhyun, and all Baekhyun can taste is forever. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Junmyeon takes himself in hand, and when he presses the head of his cock against Baekhyun, Baekhyun groans, deep in his throat. 

“Please,” Baekhyun says. “In.” 

Junmyeon is slow to push inside Baekhyun’s body, and Baekhyun holds onto him tightly, shivering and cursing as Junmyeon tortures him. It is like nothing he ever could have imagined: too pure, too good. Junmyeon moans when they are finally one, when they can’t possibly get any closer, when Junmyeon is buried so deeply in Baekhyun that Baekhyun can’t tell where Junmyeon begins or ends. 

“A-Are you all right?” Junmyeon asks, and his voice is so tense, so caught in his throat that it makes Baekhyun smile. “Am I hurting you?” 

“No,” Baekhyun says, and a tear falls from the corner of his eye, slips down the side of his face. “No, I’m… I’m just very happy.” 

“Are you?” Junmyeon asks, and he holds himself up with one hand, brushes the tear track away with the other. “You couldn’t possibly be any happier than me.” 

Baekhyun whines as he tugs Junmyeon’s body onto him totally, his weight comforting. Junmyeon gives him a moment that he doesn’t ask for or even need, but Baekhyun loves him for it anyway. Loves every part of this wolf. Loves him fiercely and without end. 

By the time Junmyeon begins to thrust, Baekhyun is more than ready, gathering Junmyeon in his arms and rocking his body against Junmyeon’s. It makes Junmyeon’s muscles go taut with effort. 

They work together in near silence, only sounds of hard breath, of choked out moans, small whispers of adoration. Baekhyun is trembling, shuddering, charged with electricity that has nowhere to go. It bounds under his skin, their heartbeats ricocheting in their bodies. He pulses and keens, desperate as Junmyeon works his hips, pushes in and in. He cries, overwhelmed by the feeling, yet eager for more. 

Their skin makes music in the darkness, and Baekhyun pulls Junmyeon into another kiss, another, sips all the love he can from Junmyeon’s lips. It goes on forever, he thinks, can’t keep track of time as Junmyeon fucks him, makes him howl to the moon. 

The night is red and glowing as they hold each other, Junmyeon’s fingers tight on Baekhyun’s hips as they meet again and again, as they make the world that much more full of beauty. 

The orgasm takes Baekhyun by surprise, spilling over his stomach as he cries through the waves of love. Junmyeon follows him over the edge, tumbling and spinning, and when he knots, Baekhyun feels his heart surge. He clings weakly to Junmyeon, pleasure racking through his body, through them _both_. 

“I love you,” Baekhyun whispers. “I love you.” 

“Baekhyun, I—” 

They kiss, a furious dance, and just when Baekhyun thinks this really is never-ending, it trails away, sand following the waves back to the ocean floor. 

Bone-deep satisfaction works its way through his bloodstream as it winds down to nothing, and as he lays kisses to Junmyeon’s skin, he wonders how they managed to keep themselves from this position for so very long. It feels so right because it _is_ right. They found each other through storms. They could do anything together. 

“Are you okay?” Junmyeon asks, voice hoarse. “Do you hurt anywhere?” 

“No.” He holds Junmyeon by the hair, breathes in the scent of the sea. “No, I’m quite well.” 

“Good.” Junmyeon kisses him. “Good.” 

He wraps Junmyeon in the cradle of his body, lets the novel thing turn to familiar as the minutes pass. 

“H-How long does it take?” Baekhyun asks, feeling silly for not knowing. "T-To go down, I mean." 

Junmyeon shakes through a laugh. 

“Not so long,” Junmyeon says. “Though, to be quite honest with you, it has been a long while since I’ve knotted.” He looks at Baekhyun with pink shame on his cheeks. “It might last a bit longer than usual.” 

Baekhyun works himself against the knot, pleased. 

“I don’t mind.” 

“Here,” Junmyeon says, and he maneuvers Baekhyun gingerly onto his side so that they’re able to lie side by side. “Now you can rest.” 

“I don’t need rest.” 

“You do. And as do I.” 

“Old,” Baekhyun accuses. 

“Yes,” Junmyeon agrees. “Old and spent.” 

Baekhyun laughs, presses a kiss to the top of Junmyeon’s pectoral. 

“I love you,” Junmyeon says sleepily. “I love you very much.” 

“I know,” Baekhyun says, and he is happy to find that it’s true. He looks up, strokes his hand along Junmyeon’s chest as Junmyeon’s eyes flutter closed. “Um. Excuse me.” 

Junmyeon responds, eyes shut. “Yes?” 

“Wake up.” 

“I’m awake.” 

“Your eyes are closed,” Baekhyun says. Immediately, Junmyeon opens his eyes. “Thank you.” 

“Why are we still awake?” Junmyeon asks, gesturing to the window. “Night has fallen. In general, this is the time for sleeping.” 

Baekhyun rolls himself onto Junmyeon’s body, straddling him as the furs fall from his shoulders. He is wanton, needy. Now that he’s had a taste, he only wants more. He rocks himself on Junmyeon’s knot, revels in the answering high-pitched moan. 

“Now,” Baekhyun says, and he takes Junmyeon’s hand, strokes it down his chest, down his stomach, “is time for anything _but_ sleep.” 

“W-Wh—_ah_, what are you suggesting?” Junmyeon moans. 

“Something,” Baekhyun says, and he takes Junmyeon’s fingers, sucks on them lewdly. “Anything.”  
  


☽

  
  
Dinner is long cold by the time they eat, and Baekhyun has to add more wood to the fire so that they can see what they’re doing. He returns to the bed as Junmyeon works on loading the plates full of food, draped in nothing but a fur. It is strangely freeing, being naked around Junmyeon now that they’ve had each other in such a way. His stomach heats as he thinks of the way they moved.

“Stop,” Junmyeon commands. “You smell like sex.” 

“I believe that’s as much your doing as it is mine.” 

Baekhyun lies on the bed, watches as Junmyeon moves. Junmyeon looks at him, and Baekhyun leans back, lets the furs fall from him. Junmyeon’s eyes stick to his skin for a heated moment, but then, rolling his eyes, Junmyeon goes back to filling the plates. 

“I made this table, I’ll have you know,” Junmyeon says. “It is a perfectly good place to eat.” 

“But the bed is so much more comfortable,” Baekhyun says, and he rests his hands behind his head. “Don’t you agree?” 

“It is exceedingly comfortable.” 

Baekhyun makes a noise of pleasure. 

“You are tempting, but I don’t know how much more I can give you tonight,” Junmyeon smiles. He brings over the plates, waits until Baekhyun sits up in bed before giving it to him. “Eat. Even though it would have been much better when it was fresh.” 

“Cold supper is worth it,” Baekhyun says, and he tucks in, eats as the ravenous hunger takes him by surprise. 

They barely speak, but their thighs rest up against one another as they eat. 

Junmyeon takes the plates, puts them on the small stool next to the bed. He gathers Baekhyun in his arms, pulls the furs over their naked bodies. It is comforting, warm, and Baekhyun traces his fingers down Junmyeon’s breast bone. 

“Baekhyun?” 

“What?” 

“Rest,” Junmyeon commands. 

“I don’t want to rest,” Baekhyun says, and he kisses Junmyeon’s pectoral, burying himself deeper into the embrace. “I want to do it again.” 

Junmyeon chokes out a laugh, clutches Baekhyun tighter to him. 

“Rest,” he whispers. “We have forever.” 

“Then we should be able to do it whenever we want,” Baekhyun mutters, but even still, he shuts his eyes, lets sleep take him.  
  


☽

  
  
He wakes only a few hours later, the night still dense with darkness. Baekhyun turns, kisses the hollow of Junmyeon’s throat until he stirs. He hums as Junmyeon looks at him, eyes sleepy and soft. What would it be like to see this every day and every night? To know without a doubt that these feelings belong to him and him alone? He feels the phantom bite at the back of his neck, red and hot. He wants. Wants desperately.

“It’s too early for you to smell so sweet,” Junmyeon whispers. 

Baekhyun luxuriates in the words, twists until he is staring into Junmyeon’s eyes. He kisses him deeply, tastes dawn on his lips. 

“When are we supposed to leave?” Baekhyun asks. “Before the morning comes?” 

“I don’t think they expect us out by any time in particular,” Junmyeon smirks. “Why?” 

“I was only… planning.” 

Slowly, Junmyeon extricates himself from Baekhyun’s arms. He stands from the bed, stretches in the moonlight, and he grabs Baekhyun’s plate along with his own. He brings them back to the table, walks without fur or cloth to cover him. When he returns, he stands by the edge of the bed, and when Baekhyun stretches out a hand, Junmyeon takes it in his. 

“What are you planning for?” 

“Whatever happens next,” Baekhyun says. 

Junmyeon kneels up on the bed, stares down at Baekhyun’s body. Baekhyun feels the tendrils of heat curling through his stomach. He reaches up, touches Junmyeon’s body. Revels in the way he closes his eyes on a moan.  
  


☽

  
  
Junmyeon walks him to the fields the next morning, parts with a kiss, and Baekhyun revels in the feeling. Not once did he allow himself to dream of something so domestic. So sweet. It feels indulgent in the best way.

“I’ll take my leave,” Junmyeon says, and he squeezes Baekhyun’s hands in his. “Take care, won’t you?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “And you. Take care. Tell Chanyeol I said hello.” 

“I’m quite sure he will smell you on me.” He grins at Baekhyun, makes it so that Baekhyun has no choice but to whack him on the arm. “_Ow._ Is that how you treat your future mate?” 

“Yes, so it would be in your best interest to get used to it.” 

Junmyeon smiles as Baekhyun unhurriedly withdraws. 

“I’ll see you later, all right?” Junmyeon says. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun agrees. “Later.” 

They stand there quietly, staring at each other, until Junmyeon laughs, shaking his head. 

“I don’t want to leave.” 

“No, and I don’t want you to.” 

Junmyeon’s cheeks are high and red as he smiles, bowing to Baekhyun before he leaves. Baekhyun watches him go, transfixed by the line of his body, the gracefulness in his movement. He stands there for longer than he realizes, because in the next moment, he feels a hand on his shoulder, half expecting it to be Gaeul asking what he’s doing, wasting the sun. 

Instead, he is greeted by Sehun. 

“W-What are you doing here?” Baekhyun asks. “Shouldn’t you be hunting?” 

“You are bad with greetings.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, brushes past Sehun. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve lots of work to do this morning, so—”

“We’re just going to ignore it, then?” Sehun asks, and it makes Baekhyun turn. “The way you _smell_.” 

“I’ve bathed,” Baekhyun says self-consciously. 

“And yet, anyone within the mile could smell him on you.” He smirks before walking over, gathering Baekhyun into a hug. “Chanyeol couldn’t come. They’re supposed to be working in the south today. His project. But he wanted me to tell you he’s happy for you.” 

“W-What are you talking about?” 

“Well, the consummation,” Sehun says. “Obviously.” 

Baekhyun sputters, and it makes Sehun laugh which in turn makes Baekhyun laugh. He holds his stomach as it starts to ache from all the joy, and he bites his lip to stop himself from coughing out more laughter. 

“H-How did you know we… we consummated?” 

“I was able to put two and two together,” Sehun says mysteriously, but Baekhyun narrows his eyes at him until he breaks. “Well, in truth, Minseok put it together. He noticed that Junmyeon was especially nervous, and when Junmyeon asked him to watch Noeul in the evening, well, that was that.” Baekhyun’s face heats as he thinks about it, realizing how plain it must have been for them to see. “So, how did it go?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“You don’t?” 

“N-No,” Baekhyun says. “I don’t.” 

“That means it wasn’t very good,” Sehun teases. 

“No, it was _very_ good, it was _wonderful_, it was... oh, I _hate_ you,” Baekhyun screeches. “Be off. Don’t you have some hunt to join?” 

“In a minute or two,” Sehun says, and he pulls Baekhyun into his arms again. “I demand you give me the dirty details.”  
  


☽

  
  
Within the end of the week, Junmyeon and Noeul are set to return to the southeast with the rest of their pack. At first, Baekhyun wanted to ask Junmyeon to stay, wanted to tell him that his place is _here_ now, but he knows that he couldn’t do such a thing. Noeul… her home is elsewhere. She wants to be elsewhere. And when she hears the news that their journey home is imminent, the day after next, she is ecstatic. Baekhyun tries not to feel distraught by the reaction, but she clutches her hands to her chin, smiling. She is very cute, even when she shifts at the table, yipping and yelping with joy.

“All right, all right,” Junmyeon laughs. “That’s enough now.” 

She quickly shifts back, sitting pleasantly, her hands in her lap. 

“I’m happy to go home,” Noeul says, and she smiles at Junmyeon before shooting a look at Baekhyun, a little cutting glare that Baekhyun assumes she doesn’t mean for Junmyeon to see. 

“And that’s quite enough of _that_,” Junmyeon says sternly. “You will treat him with respect.” 

“Yes, father,” she huffs, pouting her lips before pushing back from the table. “May I be excused?” 

Junmyeon observes her quietly for a moment before nodding his head. 

“Clear the dishes, and you may,” Junmyeon says. 

She hurries out of the room, gathering all the dishes like it is her favorite pastime. Noeul hurries out of the cabin, and Baekhyun breathes out, shocked to find that he was holding his breath in the first place. 

“You mustn’t worry,” Junmyeon says. “She will come around.” 

The words stick in his heart the way the Listener’s did. He shuts his eyes, wishes that she was still here to help him. To guide him. He hopes she is resting well. He hopes that she is happy. 

Junmyeon’s arms envelop him, and Baekhyun lets himself fall into the embrace. 

“Do you promise?” Baekhyun says, laughing through his childishness. 

He feels a kiss pressed to his hair. 

“I promise.” 

Baekhyun pushes away from the hug, looks into Junmyeon’s eyes critically. 

“How can you promise such a thing?” Baekhyun asks. He pokes his finger into Junmyeon’s chest. “Does a promise mean nothing to you?” 

Junmyeon bites his lip as she smiles, and he moves his hand, moves it under Baekhyun’s braid. His fingertips tickle along the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, and a great shiver licks down Baekhyun’s spine, so strong that Baekhyun’s knees nearly buckle under his weight. It is the place where he will be marked. Someday. It is such a tempting idea. A delicious possibility. 

“On the contrary,” Junmyeon says, and he leans forward, kissing Baekhyun’s cheek sweetly. “Promises mean _everything_ to me.”  
  


☽

  
  
The next morning begins as any other. They bathe, they break fast, they walk Noeul to the school house, and Junmyeon walks Baekhyun to the fields. It is a busy morning as Baekhyun is in charge of planting, so he spends the morning and the better part of the afternoon gingerly filling holes in the earth, neat rows as far as the eyes can see. He sweats along his brow, and as he wipes it away. He checks the sun. Nearly time for the end of his day. He smiles. Junmyeon told him that they would try again, another supper with just the three of them. And Baekhyun is hopeful. If the Listener _and_ Junmyeon believed the child would come around, then she will, won’t she?

He hears a terrible sound. A scream, so high-pitched and sickening it could curdle water. The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he realizes why it sounds so very familiar. It is Noeul, and without a second thought, he is shifting, running towards the sound. 

Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s ever moved so fast, not even when he was young. His chest fills with cold air, and it expels from him blood warm. He is on fire, licks of flames at his heels. He reaches the wood so quickly that he cannot catch his breath, that he needs to shift just to get a hold of himself. 

He looks around, wondering where to go next. And then he hears her, not too far. He runs to her, and he finds her there, next to the great oak tree next to the river. His eyes fill with worried tears as he approaches. 

She is moaning in pain on the earth, her lips tinged blue, her forehead wet with sweat. He crouches down next to her, and she tries to move, but it is no use. Her leg is split. 

“Noeul,” Baekhyun says, and he sniffs, wipes his eyes. “I am here to help you. Please, stay still, my lady. You are hurt.” 

“No,” she commands, and her voice is fractured, same as her limb. “No. No, they’ll—someone else will come. They’ll fetch someone else. I don’t want you.” 

“Try to calm yourself,” Baekhyun says. “You are injured.” 

She writhes, but when she does, she cries out in furious pain. 

“Don’t move,” Baekhyun says. “Please, you mustn’t.” 

“I need to see my father,” she cries pitifully. “I need to see him.” 

Maybe he should wait. Maybe he should only keep her company. She wants someone else. She wants _anyone_ else.

He screws his eyes shut. It doesn’t matter what she wants. She needs help, and he is here. He gathers her up in his arms as carefully as he can manage. 

“Put me down,” she cries, struggling against him. “Put me _down_.”

Despite her words, she throws her arms around Baekhyun’s neck, burying her cries into his shoulder. 

“Enough,” he says gently. “You’re hurt, my lady.” 

“My father will help me.” Baekhyun looks at her, and she is looking back at him, tears streaking down her face, eyes red and sad. “I don’t need your help. I don’t _need_ you!” 

“I will take you to him,” Baekhyun explains. “You need help, my lady.” 

“Shut up!” she screams, and she cries, fat tears rolling from her cheeks to her furs. “Shut up, I don’t need you! Let go of me! Let go!” 

“Your leg is broken,” Baekhyun says, and it is entirely too strange, being on this side of the matter. It feels like yesterday, falling from the tree. “You are… you are in shock.” 

He moves her slowly, carries her back through the woods, and though it takes a moment, the fight is drained from her, and she clings weakly to him, soft whimpers along the hollow of his throat. 

“There you are,” Baekhyun says quietly, and he pushes out a wave of calm, of security, of peace. “All will be well soon, my lady.” 

“Be quiet,” she says weakly, and she hugs herself closer to his neck, near the pulsing of his scent. “Just be quiet, please.” 

“Yes, all right,” Baekhyun says, and he moves her through the grounds, carrying her to the clearing, past the hall, down to the great fire. 

He moves silently, moves as evenly as he can manage. 

It is there that they find Junmyeon, his wolf’s hackles raised. He shifts once he sees Baekhyun and Noeul, and the look on his face. It makes Baekhyun’s eyes fill with tears. 

“M-My love,” he says, and he rushes to them, takes Noeul’s face in his hands. “My love, what happened to you?” 

“I fell. I got hurt,” she whines. “I-I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me, please.” 

“My _love_,” Junmyeon says, and he embraces them both gently, arms folding around them both carefully. “How could I ever be mad at you for such a thing?” 

“I don’t know,” Noeul says. “I’m sorry.” 

Baekhyun feels the push of air from Junmyeon, a soft sigh. 

“Do not be sorry,” Junmyeon says, and his voice tickles through Baekhyun’s body. “I’m just happy you’re safe.”  
  


☽

  
  
The healers go to work on her immediately. They lay river-cold gauze along her leg and her forehead as they crush and mix with their mortars and pestles. The herb pastes that smell like roots are generously applied, and after three prayers to the moon, they wrap water-soft rawhide from ankle to thigh.

“It will harden,” the bonesetter says, eyeing Junmyeon and Baekhyun in equal measure. “She should not move much. It will take a while for her to heal.” 

“We’re due to return soon,” Junmyeon says. 

“You must wait.” The bonesetter nods down at her leg. “It would be a great danger for her to travel in this state.” 

Noeul knows better than to interrupt, but she makes a noise of dissatisfaction, one that makes the bonesetter snort. 

“You have one job now, my lady,” he says to her. “Rest.”  
  


☽

  
  
Sleep does not come easily to Noeul. It takes the better part of the evening, several cups of chamomile and lavender, and the story of the firefly and the frog, but once she is sleeping, she sleeps soundly.

They creep from the cabin, quiet as they pad to the river. Junmyeon sits, back against a rock, and he opens his arms wide, room for Baekhyun. He takes it, resting his body against Junmyeon’s. They exhale together, the embrace tightening like a slip knot. 

For a great while, they extend the silence, and Baekhyun supposes that’s for the best. The day was a mess of noise, and together, they revel in the quiet. 

“They gave her aid,” Junmyeon smiles weakly. “Petals of the sleeping violets.” 

“It is good,” Baekhyun whispers. “She needs her rest. She will heal best if she is sleeping.” 

“You are right.” Junmyeon squeezes Baekhyun in his arms. “As always.” 

Baekhyun cuddles closer into Junmyeon’s body, wishing not for the first time that he was able to leach the pain away from the both of them, take it for himself so that they wouldn’t have to struggle through it. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, don’t start with that,” Junmyeon huffs out a laugh. “No apologies, please.” 

“But I am.” 

“Don’t be,” Junmyeon says. “Accidents are bound to happen. You cannot bend the river to your pleasing, and you cannot change the past.” 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “No, you’re right.” 

“I’m glad you were there.” He looks at Baekhyun, dots a kiss to the center of his lips. “I’m glad she had you.” Baekhyun bites his lip over something he knows Junmyeon would chastise him for, something like _It would have been better if it was you._

He can only try. He can only be what he is allowed to be. 

He sighs, content, and he buries himself into the scent of Junmyeon, the wide, open sea. 

“I was glad to be there.” And he means it with all his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so fucking long and sorry it is so much garbage. in my defense, i am terrible and you shouldn't expect anything else. this chapter took forever and so much brainpower, and still look what it got us. lsakdjjkg 
> 
> have a great week! thanks for reading! hope u enjoyed! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	11. a visit from the night

Junmyeon forsakes work for the first several days, spending every waking hour with the child. Baekhyun brings their meals, and he watches as Noeul goes from sad to angry to bored. Baekhyun opens the door, letting the cool air in, and he stares down at the pair of them, the rims of their eyes red, the whites yellowing. 

“Come now,” Baekhyun says. “This room is too stuffy. You’ve got to let air in every now and again.” 

He’s met with silence, and Baekhyun tries to ignore it, paint over it. He sets the basket on their table, and they both bow their heads. 

“Thank you for the food,” Junmyeon nods, and he begins to unpack the basket. 

Baekhyun immediately notes the harshness between father and daughter. He’s never seen Noeul look at Junmyeon the way she’s looking at him now, disdainful and disobedient. He quite likes it, actually, seeing that kind of expression turned on someone besides himself. 

They eat in near silence, only broken when Baekhyun unsuccessfully tries to goad them both into conversation. He soon gets the hint, quiets himself, the room loud with the sound of chewing, a sound that Baekhyun doesn’t favor.

“Ah, my lady,” Baekhyun says, and before he packs up the dishes into the basket, he pulls out the gift. “From Sehun, Chanyeol, and myself. If you don’t favor them, it was Sehun’s idea.”

She rolls her eyes as she pulls the tie and lets the brown paper fall to reveal the set of cards, turning over the first and marveling at the art. Chanyeol has gotten very good, in these past weeks, and Baekhyun thought this would be a good way to occupy her mind. 

“W-What are they?” 

“Memory cards,” Baekhyun explains, and he pulls the table closer to her. “See, you lay them out like this.” He spreads them all out, plain sides facing up. “And then you pick two, hoping to find a match.” Baekhyun pulls a card with pretty black wolf with gold eyes and another painted with a patch of flowers. “Ah. No match. We must try again.” 

“O-Oh,” she says stiffly, and she turns the cards over happily, looking over the renderings of the moon, the fields, the trees, the river, the ocean. “Thank you.” 

He only bows his head, delighted as she begins to play, flipping them over eagerly. Baekhyun’s heart grows in his chest, and he smiles down at her as he quickly packs the basket full of their plates. He gets up, handles in both hands.

“Junmyeon,” Baekhyun says. “Perhaps I could…?” 

Junmyeon looks up at him. “Could?” 

“Speak to you outside?” Baekhyun suggests. 

“I should give her the medicine mash,” Junmyeon says. 

The child makes a disgusted noise. 

“Oh, but it’s so bad,” Noeul complains. “Don’t. I hate it.” 

“It can wait a few moments, can’t it?” Baekhyun asks. 

Junmyeon huffs, shoulders slumping inelegantly before he stands. Wags his finger at her. 

“No trying to move,” he says. 

“I haven’t tried in _days_, leave me alone,” she grouses, and it makes Baekhyun snort with laughter. 

Junmyeon pulls him by the arm outside, quickly kisses him, the heat of fire behind it. 

“What did you need from me?” he asks. 

“I only wanted to get you out of there for a moment or two,” Baekhyun says. 

Junmyeon’s eyes dim just a little more. “I should go, then. She needs me.” 

Baekhyun sets the basket to the ground, takes Junmyeon’s face in both hands before kissing him thoroughly, their bodies pressed together. It is as delicious as it always is, but when they part, Baekhyun bites Junmyeon’s bottom lip between his teeth, pulls it just a touch. 

“O-Ow.” 

“You must go back to work,” Baekhyun says. “You’re suffocating the poor thing.” 

“Don’t say foolish things,” Junmyeon says. 

“What’s so foolish about it?” 

“Who will look after her?” Junmyeon asks, eyes on the ground. “I am her father. I am responsible for her.” His eyes raise to Baekhyun’s, full of tears, and it is then that Baekhyun realizes the toll it is taking on them both. “She has no one but me.” 

“_Junmyeon_.” 

“What?” 

“Y-You must know that isn’t true.” 

“Who, then?” Junmyeon asks. 

“Well… well, she’s got me, after all,” Baekhyun says shyly. 

Junmyeon’s expression goes soft as he pulls Baekhyun into his embrace. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I—,” and he buries his face in the crook of Baekhyun’s neck, breathes in deeply, “I hadn’t meant to be so cruel to you.” 

“No, it’s only… you are tired, my love,” Baekhyun says, and he threads his fingers through the hair at the nape of Junmyeon’s neck. “You need your rest just as she needs hers. And she doesn’t have just the two of us. She has Minseok, Chanyeol, Sehun. She has the pack.” 

Junmyeon looks up at Baekhyun, looks into his eyes like he is really looking at Baekhyun for the first time. 

“I love you,” Junmyeon says. “Thank you.” 

“I love you too,” Baekhyun answers, and he presses another kiss to Junmyeon’s lips. “How about tomorrow morning?” 

“What?” 

“I’ll look after her,” Baekhyun offers. 

“I—Are you sure?” Junmyeon asks. He dots a kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek. “I know she… well, I know she can be a bit prickly when it comes to you.” 

“I can handle her,” Baekhyun smiles. “I’m very tough, aren’t I?” 

“Yes.” He kisses Baekhyun lushly, and it makes Baekhyun shiver with heat. “Very tough, indeed.”  
  


☾

Junmyeon, as expected, leaves Baekhyun an intricate list of how to care for Noeul, and Baekhyun, as expected, is momentarily overwhelmed.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to stay for a while?” Junmyeon asks. “Are you sure you understand what needs to be done? Are you sure the gatherers will understand? I would hate to get you in trouble with the pack, and truly, it’s no trouble if—” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he shoves him out the door, hands at his back. 

“Enough,” Baekhyun commands, “get out of this house, and get to work!” 

Junmyeon stumbles outside, but once he’s there, the cold wind hitting him, he smiles and waves back to Baekhyun. 

“I’ll only be gone for a little while, okay? And if you need me, you just need to howl, all right? I’ll hear you, I swear it.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, shuts the door behind him. He turns back to Noeul, claps his hands together. 

“Well, now that he’s gone, would you like to do anything in particular to pass the time?” 

“I’m supposed to have lessons right now,” she says with a frown. 

“You’re injured,” Baekhyun says, waving his hand. “Skip them for a week or two.” Immediately, Noeul perks up, a little life back in her, but she slumps back in her seat. “You need your rest, and that means from studying too.” 

“W-Well, all right, but if my father gets upset, then it’s all your fault,” she says tersely. “I won’t make any excuses for you.” 

Baekhyun shakes through a laugh as he kneels beside her in her nest of blankets. He fixes them, tucks them in at her sides. 

“No, of course not, my lady. It wouldn’t be proper to lie.” 

She stares at him staunchly for a moment before she breaks into a yawn, stretching out cutely before groaning. 

“Are you well?” he asks. “Should I fetch you anything?” 

“No, it’s just… it’s hard to sleep sometimes,” she says, the corners of her lips turned down. “My leg hurts.” 

It makes Baekhyun’s heart pull in his chest. 

“I know, my lady,” Baekhyun says, and he stands, goes to fetch her the kettle. He pours the violet tea, hands her a cup. “Drink.” 

“I’ve only just woken up,” she says. “It isn’t right to sleep in the middle of the day. The moon doesn’t like wolves who laze about.” 

“Oh, don’t listen to the moon,” Baekhyun says, waving his hand. “You are tired. _Rest._” 

She takes a small sip of her tea, and her eyes grow heavy with only a taste. Baekhyun takes the cup from her as she settles back from her seated position. She lies in the furs, and she smells like milk, like sleep. 

“Thank you,” Noeul says smally, so small, in fact, that Baekhyun almost does not understand the words as they come from her mouth. 

“F-For what, my lady?”

“Father…,” she says, and she rests her head back along the pillow, her eyes fluttering shut. “He’s annoying sometimes.” 

But as soon as the words exit her mouth, her eyes spring open. She begins to babble apologetically. 

“I-I didn’t mean it that way,” Noeul says. “I only meant—” 

“Relax, my lady,” Baekhyun laughs, and he pats her on her good leg, smiling at her. “You are right. He can get annoying sometimes, can’t he?” 

She bites her lip to stop from smiling back at him, and Baekhyun’s heart is so light that he thinks he could fly if he wanted. 

“You won’t tell him, will you?” she asks. “That I’ve been bad?” 

“Your secrets are safe with me,” Baekhyun tells her. “Now, rest.”  
  


☾

Junmyeon comes into the house much later in the day, and his scent is an immediate comfort to Baekhyun. Frankly, he hadn’t expected it to go so well between them, constantly waiting for things to go poorly, but while there were still some moments of awkwardness, Noeul seemed to open up in a way that she’s never been able to before.

Over the course of the afternoon, she whittles a fish jumping from the water, and he watches her as she works, diligent and sweet. She reminds Baekhyun so much of her father then that it’s almost uncanny. Baekhyun fixes their lunch, keeps her busy with her matching game, and even brings her a couple books to keep her mind off things. It seems to work, and she keeps busy up until Junmyeon returns. 

He creeps in like he’s expecting them to be at war, and he wears a look of shock and awe as he realizes that Noeul is cautiously enjoying their afternoon together. 

“Do my eyes deceive me?” Junmyeon asks. “You both look… happy.” 

“We’re getting along quite well,” Baekhyun says proudly. “As if that is so surprising.” 

“He’s okay,” Noeul says before opening her arms to Junmyeon. “Can I have a hug? I missed you.” 

Junmyeon’s face goes so soft, and Baekhyun wants to capture that moment forever. 

He walks over to Noeul, kneeling at her side before pulling her gently into an embrace. She rests her cheek against Junmyeon’s shoulder, eyes shut peacefully. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. 

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for, pup,” Junmyeon says. “You are hurt.” 

“I don’t want to be a bad girl,” she tells him. “I just want to be better already.” 

“I know, my love. I know.” 

Baekhyun stares down at them, at the scene of love, and he feels like even with only a week passing, she’s already well on her way to recovery.  
  


☾

Over the course of the next several weeks, they devise a schedule for caring for the pup that does not bore her. They take turns, the five of them, and they play games with her, eventually transition her back to her lessons. Baekhyun’s never been good with the loom, so he teaches her how to fake the more impressive stitches and not once does she turn her nose up at him. It is a strange feeling, the sudden ice-cold plunge into acceptance, but he does not question it for fear of it disappearing into thin air.

Baekhyun does his best not to act too elated at the burgeoning relationship, only gently nudging it along. When Noeul complains that she isn’t able to walk anywhere on her own, Baekhyun knows exactly what to bring her. He leaves the present outside, waiting until supper to whisper it into Junmyeon’s ear. 

“It isn’t nice to keep secrets,” Noeul comments. “Adults are so rude.” 

“No,” Junmyeon says, gripping Baekhyun by the leg. “No, it’s too dangerous, she’ll injure herself.” 

“Lovely news,” Baekhyun says, and he waves to Noeul’s leg. “She’s already done that.” 

“Excuse me,” Noeul says, put-upon. 

“_Baekhyun_.” 

“_Junmyeon_.” 

Baekhyun bats his eyelashes, pulls at the neck of his shirt so that some of his pheromones leak into the air above them. 

“Oh, hell,” Junmyeon curses. “Do whatever you please, you unruly omega.” 

Baekhyun claps his hands together before turning to Noeul. “My lady, did you know that when I was around your age, I broke my leg, same as you?” 

“Y-You did?” she asks. 

“I did,” Baekhyun nods. “But you’ve gotten lucky.” He reaches around the table, taps his fingers along her hardened cast. “Your leg only broken in one place. Mine was… well, I was _not_ so lucky.” 

Her eyes go wide with interest, and she leans forward in her seat as if it will help her to listen better. 

“Did it hurt terribly?” she asks. 

Baekhyun nods, thinks back to the day… he wonders if he cried as much as Noeul. Knowing himself, it was probably longer and louder. 

“It did, but,” Baekhyun says, breaking up the silence, “I’ve another gift for you.” 

“You’ve given me too many gifts,” Noeul says, and she folds her arms over her chest. “I won’t take another.”

“Good girl,” Junmyeon praises. 

“You might change your mind once you’ve seen it,” Baekhyun smiles. 

He gets up, walks outside to where he left his crutch, and he grabs it, bringing it inside. She stares at him with a confused look on her face until he walks back over to her, laying it in her lap. 

“What is this?” she asks, and she picks up the little wooden crutch, surely trying to suss out its purpose. 

“It is a crutch, my lady,” Baekhyun says happily, “so that you might enjoy a walk every now and again.” He smiles at her. “My mother made it for me when I was a pup, so I thought… well, I thought _I’ve no use for it now, and I know a puppy who does._” 

“R-Really?” she asks. “F—I can have it?” 

“I wouldn’t have brought it if I didn’t want to give it to you,” he says. “Would you like to try it?” 

“Oh, not _now_, we’re still eating,” Junmyeon grouses. 

She ignores him, nods eagerly, and Baekhyun slowly helps to lift her to her feet. She wobbles for a moment, but he sticks the crutch under her arm, lowers himself so that he can put other arm around his shoulders. 

“How’s that?” Baekhyun asks. “Feeling all right?” 

“Feels strange,” she says. “I’ve been carried around these past weeks. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to walk.” 

“Give it a while,” Baekhyun smiles. “You’ll get used to it, and the rest of your time immobilized will fly by.” 

They try a few steps, and while Baekhyun shoulders most of her weight for the beginning steps, she learns quickly, keeping all the weight off her injured leg as she moves about the cabin. Then, she wobbles on the crutch, her neck craning as she tries her best to bow in thanks. 

“Ah, you’re most welcome, my lady,” Baekhyun says, and he bows back to her. 

“All right, all right, enough excitement for one evening,” Junmyeon says, and the pulsing of his scent is salty and sweet like tears. “Sit down. Eat. You must regain some of your strength if you’re to be running around with a broken leg.” 

“Not _running_,” Baekhyun says, and he helps to lower her back to the floor, sitting opposite Junmyeon. “And besides, I’ll be looking after her.” He sits down next to Junmyeon, pats him on the leg. 

Junmyeon bites through a smile, covers Baekhyun’s hand with his, giving it a squeeze. 

_It is a funny thing_, Baekhyun thinks, smiling to himself as they talk, as they eat, as they laugh, _the difficult way strangers become family and the easy way family becomes home._  
  


☾

In the middle of the fourth week of Noeul's healing, after they eat their supper together, they go for their first walk together. She’s practiced around the cabin, adeptly moving about on her crutch, but Junmyeon still makes sure that Baekhyun knows the rules.

“Keep an eye on her,” Junmyeon says, and they stand outside the cabin together, waiting for Noeul to hobble down. 

“As if I would let her walk off,” Baekhyun says, rolling his eyes. “Everything will be all right, Alpha.” 

“I’m serious, Baekhyun.” 

Baekhyun pulls Junmyeon to him, so close that they breathe the same air. “As am I, my love.” He presses their lips together, soft and sweet. 

Noeul makes a noise of disgust, and Baekhyun decides to wear it like a badge of honor. 

When she finally makes it all the way outside, Junmyeon makes sure to wrap her fur a little tighter around her shoulder, brushing his hand down her braid. 

“Be a good girl,” Junmyeon warns. “Baekhyun will be reporting back to me.” 

“He’s trying to get on my good side, you know,” Noeul says. 

“He’s also trying to _stay_ on _my_ good side,” Junmyeon says, and he looks at Baekhyun. “Isn’t he?” 

Baekhyun grabs Noeul's hand, leads her off. 

“Come, let’s away before I break your father’s leg to match yours,” Baekhyun tells her, and once they are a fair bit away from the southeast’s cabins, he turns back, sees that Junmyeon has returned to the cabin. 

As they walk, they walk in silence, and Baekhyun doesn’t want to splinter it. He walks with the quiet, finds a friend in it as he observes her walking next to him. 

She breathes in deeply, and Baekhyun remembers that feeling, the way the world felt brand new and clean. He tries to put himself in her tiny shoes, a leg wrapped in a cast, finding a fresh freedom in this. It feels wonderful to be next to her, watching her looking around at the trees, the grass, the birds in the sky. She hobbles off, and Baekhyun lets her lead the way, though he follows close behind. 

“Can we go to the river?” she asks. 

“It is far, my lady,” Baekhyun says. “Your father wouldn’t like it.” 

She looks back at him, gives him her best puppy eyes, and Baekhyun rolls his own. 

“You’re supposed to be kind to me,” Noeul says. “You’re supposed to be extra sweet.” 

“Aren’t I?” 

“It would be very sweet to allow me to go to the river,” Noeul smiles. 

Baekhyun huffs, and she grins wider. She knows he’s accepted defeat. 

They walk to the river, and she labors as she moves. Baekhyun stays vigilant, looks around to make sure that every wolf that passes by them keeps their distance as they bow when they see her. She takes their well-wishes with poise, moves exactly the way her father moves. With grace. 

Weaving their way down the path to the water, Baekhyun makes sure to stay close, just in case Noeul needs his help. 

She is resilient, though. Even when it is clear that she is struggling a bit, she powers through, and together, they make their way through the trees until they hear the babbling of the water. She breathes in, and Baekhyun mirrors her. She smells like milk and the sweetness of flowers, and it makes Baekhyun smile. 

“I haven’t been here since I fell,” Noeul says quietly, chest working as she breathes in and out, and she creeps closer to the water’s edge, smiling down at her reflection. 

“Careful,” Baekhyun says. “You don’t want to make it a recurrence.” 

She turns back to him, hobbling over, and she glares at him. 

“All right. Rest now,” Baekhyun says, and she breathes out heavily with effort as he gently deposits her onto a rock. “We’ll head back in a moment.” 

“Oh, we should stay for a while,” Noeul says, cutely needling. “Can’t we?” Baekhyun huffs. “Yay!” 

“Only for a while,” Baekhyun says. “And if we get in trouble, I’ll surely blame you.” 

“That isn’t fair,” Noeul says, and she folds her arms, pouts. “I’m only a child.” 

“I’m preparing you for when you’re older,” Baekhyun explains. “You’re blamed for everything, and the world is a cruel, dark place.” 

Noeul looks at him, squinting her eyes. “Are you making a joke?” 

“Not really.” 

“Good,” Noeul says, “because it isn’t funny.” 

“Don’t I know it, my lady.” 

They look at the water, the gentle rushing, and Baekhyun feels himself settle into the groove of the moment, gently leaning against the rock. Noeul leans her head onto Baekhyun’s shoulder, and Baekhyun tries not to draw breath, doesn’t want to disturb her. 

“Thank you,” she says. “For helping.” 

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, “it’s nothing.” 

She doesn’t say anything else, and as the night grows dark, they skip rocks across the water. The stars are out by the time they return, and he carries her back in his arms. She rests his head against his chest, her nose by his neck, and by the time they reach the cabin, she snores lightly in his arms. Junmyeon meets them at the door, his brows tilting as he stares at them with affection plain on his face. 

“Move,” Baekhyun whispers, and he carries the pup to her nest, kneels as he places her into the circle of furs. She curls into the blankets and pillows as he brushes her hair away from her face, the braid splayed behind her. “There. Rest easily, my lady.” 

They walk outside, hand in hand, and the wind hits them as they embrace in the night. 

“Did it go well?” Junmyeon whispers. “Was she all right? Did she struggle? Did you carry her back because—” 

“Junmyeon,” Baekhyun says, and he buries his face into Junmyeon’s chest, laughs. “Stop worrying. She is well.” 

Junmyeon sighs, makes a pleased noise, and he tightens his arms around Baekhyun’s body. 

“Thank you,” Junmyeon says. “Thank you for… for caring for her. For loving her.” 

“There is nothing I can do,” Baekhyun says easily. “She is part of you, and I love you completely, each and every part.” He leans back. Kisses Junmyeon on the mouth until he tastes honey-sweet water.  
  


☾

It is another couple weeks before the bonesetters and rest of the healers agree that the cast can come off. Baekhyun has never seen the child so eager for anything, and she vibrates with excitement as Baekhyun holds her hand, the setters beginning to crack open the long-dried casting. Junmyeon had made sure that Baekhyun would be there to hold her hand, to oversee things just in case. He trusts Baekhyun now, doesn’t tell him how to do things or give him unnecessary rules. It feels like a step towards something greater, something deeper and more meaningful, and it settles warmly in Baekhyun’s stomach.

Then, of course, the cast comes off, and a horrible stench circles into the cabin. 

“That’ll need immediate washing,” the bonesetter says, like Baekhyun’s some kind of fool. 

Baekhyun gets up from his knees, grabs the washing bowl from the corner of the room, begins to dampen the rags. 

“I think I will take it from here,” Baekhyun says. “But, if you could…?” One of the alpha healers bows to him. “Please find the pup’s father and reassure him. He is working with the builders in the north.” 

The alpha bows to him, and they leave the cabin. Baekhyun wrings out the rag, and he slowly, gently begins to wash her leg. 

“Does it hurt at all, my lady?” Baekhyun asks, and he rinses the rag in the bowl, scrubs little circles at the delicate skin. “If I’m being too rough, just let me know. I could always help you walk to the river, if you’d—” 

“No, it… it’s fine,” she says, and Baekhyun smiles. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” 

He washes her carefully, and when all is said and done, he gently massages a sweet-smelling oil into the skin, patting it dry with a soft cloth. 

“There,” he says happily. “Good as new.” 

He throws the rags in the basket, dumps the water outside, comes back in, and he finds her clutching a fur to her. 

“Is everything all right?” Baekhyun asks, and he goes to her, kneels beside her. 

“Baekhyun,” she says, and he looks to her. 

“Yes, my lady?” 

“I… I’m sorry,” she says, and she bows her head. “I was cruel to you. I know I was cruel, but I… I’m sorry now.” 

Baekhyun’s throat tightens with emotion, and he blinks away some shocked tears. “It’s all right, lady.” Her mouth twists as if she’s about to cry, and Baekhyun laughs, gathers her up into a hug. “Come now, no crying.” 

“_You_ were going to cry,” she accuses, and Baekhyun snorts another laugh, hand in her hair. She puts her nose to his neck, breathes in. “I’m sorry. Don’t tell my father just how mean I’ve been. He’ll be so mad at me if he finds out.” 

Baekhyun doesn’t tell her that he _knows_ already, just snorts and pats her on the head. 

“Oh, I won’t. Our little secret.” 

He cradles her gently, and Baekhyun feels more like he is _something_ to her, no longer a stranger trying to stand in a ghost’s place. He can be _someone_, not just anyone. He can be Junmyeon’s omega. He can be her father’s mate. Someone to look to. Someone to talk to. Someone to… someone, maybe, that she could love. 

“Baekhyun,” she says. 

“Yes?” 

“Could we maybe… walk to the river?” she asks, smiling, and Baekhyun laughs. 

All of a sudden, the child throws herself back in her furs, and Baekhyun tries to rouse her. 

“If you want to make it to the river before your father returns, we’ll have to go quickly,” he laughs, but as he pulls her arm gently, she does not move. Frozen. “Noeul?” 

The laughter dies. 

Her eyes roll back in her head, and Baekhyun, shocked, holds her firmly by the arm, trying to pull her awake. 

“Noeul,” he says, and his voice quakes as she convulses, “Noeul, answer me.” 

Panic jumps into his stomach, up through his throat, and he feels as though he’s about to vomit as she goes as stiff as an oak tree, her body rigid. 

“Please,” he says, “please, I—” 

Then, just as quickly as it came, it passes. Her eyes are still in the back of her head, but her body relaxes, limbs loose. Baekhyun shudders out a breath, confused, the adrenaline eating through him. 

When her eyes turn back, they are no longer the bright gold he has come to know. They are brown. Brown like earth. Baekhyun’s heart is in his mouth as the scene unfolds before him, and he can practically feel himself hovering above it all. He wants to do something, wants to do _anything_, but he sits there in chaotic silence, frozen just as she was a moment ago. 

“_Do not fear_,” Noeul says, but the voice that speaks does not belong to her. It is a voice of warmth and depth and age, and it immediately sends Baekhyun back to when he was six summers, creeping into the Listener’s hut for the first time. “_She is well._” 

“W-What is happening?” Baekhyun asks. “What is going on, is she—”

“_She is in my care. No harm shall come to her. This, I swear to you._”

Baekhyun blinks, and the tears fall down his face. “O-Okay, I… I’m sorry.” 

“_Do not apologize_,” she says. “_You have done well._” 

Baekhyun sits there in silence, and it comes to him slowly. He is speaking to the great moon. Noeul is… she is the Listener now. She is the ear, the mouth, the voice. She is important. _The child of the broken sun. Sliced in twain. Reformed. Molten silver._

“_Baekhyun_,” the girl says, but her voice remains deep and rich like the soil. “_Haru misses you so._” 

“H-Haru,” Baekhyun says with confusion laid thick along his tongue. 

It takes him a moment, but he gets it eventually. His Listener. His Haru. His eyes well with tears as he thinks of her climbing the great ladder of the stars, resting with the moon now. 

“I... Could you tell her? Could you tell her that I miss her more than she could know,” Baekhyun says, and he clutches Noeul’s hand in his, hopes that somewhere, somehow, they both can feel it. 

“_I need not tell her something she already knows,_,” and Noeul smiles. Haunting and beautiful. “_This child, your child, yes, she is yours_,” the moon tells him. “_Her journey has only just begun. She has become the Listener now. Keep her safe. Protect her well._” 

“I will,” Baekhyun says, frantic and desperate. “I will, I swear it.” 

“_Do not fear for her, child_,” the moon says. “_She has you._” 

Without another breath, Noeul blinks, and her eyes are gold, shimmering with light. Baekhyun stares at her with awe. The Listener. 

“W-What happened?” she asks, and she reaches up to her temples, rubs them as if they are aching. “Was I asleep?” 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “Something much better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! you're eight and you have a lifelong job! welcome to hell! 
> 
> anyway, sorry for this story, it is so bizarre and stupid, and yet here i am, 70 thousand words of nonsensical blathering later. thank you for reading despite all my faults, i do nto deserve u as a reader! pls have a wonderful day, and a good week, and a nice holiday season. love u muchly 
> 
> i dont know hwo much longer this story will be bc i deleted the tweet where i mapped out all my ideas, so we're writing off the cuff, footloose and fancy free. hopefully that's okay. anyway. bye bye! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	12. crushed

Baekhyun watches with his hands clasped in front of his body as the three of them, the alpha and the two omegas, embrace. 

Sehun and Chanyeol, they bend to meet Minseok, subtle curves in their backs as they rest their heads against one another’s, eyes shut. Silent words are passed between the three of them, and Baekhyun can smell the tension among them, burning wood now charred. They must have fought over this. Baekhyun doesn’t envy their position, none of the three. 

The southeastern pack returns to their ancestral home that day, and Minseok travels with them. 

Baekhyun observes in silence as the packs mingle for the last time in a while, new friends and old bidding their goodbyes. None are as passionate as Minseok, Chanyeol, and Sehun, of course. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything at all, just watches as Sehun and Chanyeol knock their forehead against Minseok’s in turn, sad smiles dripping from their mouths when Minseok clasps them by the back of their necks. He is too far away to hear what Minseok says, but he can read his lips. 

_Wait for me._

Baekhyun doesn’t think they could do anything but. 

The pack shifts at the command of their leader, and Minseok’s wolf is slight, but strong. The rest of the wolves take to a run as the three of them regretfully part. Chanyeol and Sehun run their hands through Minseok’s fur, and he looks into their eyes before pushing his muzzle into their hands. When he turns, runs off, he is the last wolf to leave. 

Chanyeol is the first to turn back to Baekhyun, and his eyes are watery, his lip wobbling. 

“How could he leave?” he whispers, and he circles his arms around Baekhyun’s body, nose nuzzling into Baekhyun’s neck. He breathes in deeply, and when he exhales, Baekhyun feels tears drop onto his skin. “How could he leave us now?” 

“Don’t be a puppy about it, he’s already told us he’s coming back soon,” Sehun says, but when Baekhyun settles his arms around Chanyeol’s waist, Sehun makes a huffing noise until Baekhyun opens his arms back up, lets him into the embrace. 

They stand there in silence, Sehun and Chanyeol breathing in Baekhyun’s scent, peace and quiet. They smell like sadness, like the pitiful kind of childish sadness when you don’t get what you want. When you’re scolded. 

“When will he return?” Baekhyun asks. 

“When everything’s _settled_,” Chanyeol groans. “Whatever that means.” 

“Does he intend to… to stay? To join the pack?” Baekhyun asks. 

“What do you think, silly omega?” Sehun scoffs, but he tightens his arms around Baekhyun, around Chanyeol. “His family is here. His pledged omegas are here. What else is there to say? This is his home now.” 

Baekhyun pulls away, staring at the two of them. 

“Pledged?” 

Sehun scoffs. “Did you really think the pair of us would just _let him leave_?” 

“Without even a promise to bond with us upon his return?” Chanyeol says. “Sehun is right, you’re very silly.” 

“He’s going to mark you both?” Baekhyun asks, quirking his brow. “How does that all work?” 

“Shut up,” Sehun says. “Shut up, you don’t know anything.” 

“You’re quite fussy now, once your alpha’s gone,” Baekhyun says. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Chanyeol says to Sehun. “He’s just trying to get a rise out of you so that he can tell Junmyeon how silly we’re being.” 

Sehun turns to him, raising a brow. “Speaking of Junmyeon, shouldn’t you be heading over?” 

Baekhyun looks to the side, shrugs his shoulder. 

“Oh, I see,” Chanyeol says. “He’s avoiding it.” 

“Avoid it no longer,” Sehun says. “The farewell is done. Your services are needed elsewhere, Omega.” 

Baekhyun groans as the white wolf and the red laugh, pushing him off towards the center of the grounds. He appreciates that, even though he is the target of bullying, he is able to lessen their burden until Minseok’s return.  
  


☾

  
  
He hasn’t been to the Listener’s hut in some time. He stands before it as the high sun breaks overhead, and he reaches his hand up, brushing his fingers against the daubs of white paint over the red curtain. It shifts as he touches it, and he closes his eyes, tries to feel the magic in this sacred place. He says a quiet prayer to himself before he pushes the curtain to the side, steps across the threshold. It is much the same as he remembers it, but the red and purple flowers hung from the ceiling are fresh this afternoon, the tallow candles unlit.

He looks down to the center of the room, expects to see the leaders. 

Thankfully, it is just Junmyeon and Noeul. No one else has arrived. 

The child is already seated on the red pillow, and her hair, normally plaited neatly, is let loose, wild in long, dark waves. She wears a shift of plain yellow-white cotton, a crown of red berries on her head. Work berries. Baekhyun’s throat goes tight at the sight of her, at the way fear lances its way through the room on her scent. Milk. Blood and milk. Blood. Blood. 

“They can’t do this,” Junmyeon says softly, and he stares down at Noeul blankly as if his silence over the past day has been leading to this moment. “They can’t keep her like this.” 

“It is the way of our people,” Baekhyun says apologetically. “I’m sorry, she—” 

“She’s a _child_,” Junmyeon stresses. “She is only a _child_.” 

A lump builds in Baekhyun’s throat as Junmyeon’s scent, angry and red and hot, silences him momentarily. 

But Baekhyun is never silent for long, and while he knows that this turn of events might be scary, it is the way. They all have their way, he remembers. They all climb the ladder the same way. 

“The moon has chosen her,” he says, keeps his voice as even as he can as he squares his shoulders before him. “She is blessed. It is a great honor. This is a calling that few are strong enough to bear.” 

“She hasn’t yet lived ten summers,” Junmyeon says through his teeth. “She’s not meant to have a calling. She’s meant to live her life.” 

“This could be her life now,” Baekhyun says. “It’s not as though she was chosen from nothing. The moon took her. Chose her from everyone. This is what she was meant to do.” 

“Says who? Your pack?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. 

“And you? What do you say?” He takes Baekhyun by the hands, squeezes them hard. “What do you say? You’ll resign this child to a life of servitude here?” 

Baekhyun looks into his eyes. Wonders if he means to hurt Baekhyun like this. 

_Haven’t I told you I would take this child as my own? Haven’t I told you I would protect her as if she was my own flesh and blood?_

“I say… I say it’s up to her,” Baekhyun says. “She is not being held against her wishes.” 

“No,” Junmyeon says. “She’s being held against _mine_.” Baekhyun calmly emits his pheromones, and Junmyeon must sense them immediately because he takes a step back, waves his hand in front of his face. “Don’t play games. It isn’t the time, nor the place.” 

“Then we are agreed.” He gestures around to the setting. “This is a sacred place. It is not wise to bring such animosity here.” 

Even if Baekhyun was blind, he would be able to smell the sickness in Junmyeon, the anger and frustration. 

“It is foolish to even entertain this idea,” Junmyeon says. 

“And yet, you’re here, entertaining the idea,” Baekhyun smiles. “Her hair unplaited, the crown of berries on her head.” 

Junmyeon breathes in, breathes out with his hands clasped together in front of him. Baekhyun knows him well enough now. Knows that this is him trying to feign calm. 

“Your pack has been kind to us,” he says, “and for that, we are eternally thankful.” 

“_My_ pack,” Baekhyun scoffs. “Do you not intend to join _my_ pack?” 

“Enough,” Junmyeon says. “These bounds shouldn’t be crossed.” 

“What bounds?” Baekhyun asks. “I’m your _pledged_. Are you aware of the promises we’ve made to each other? The promises about what’s mine and what’s yours?” 

Junmyeon clenches his jaw. 

“I’m going to speak to the heads,” Junmyeon says. “I don’t intend to go through with this.” 

“It isn’t up to you,” Baekhyun tells him. He turns to the child, sitting there silently. “It’s up to her.” 

Junmyeon scoffs, the oily scent on top of his water lit ablaze, and he leaves the hut, the curtain rippling in the wind after he’s gone. 

Baekhyun breathes out, the air cleaner smelling without Junmyeon there overwhelming it all. He turns, and the girl is staring off into nothing, face empty. 

“My lady,” Baekhyun whispers, and he kneels in front of her. “How are you, pup, hm?” She tilts her head up, looks at him blankly. Wiped clean. “My lady?” 

Suddenly, it must register in her that Baekhyun is speaking to her, because she blinks hard, looks at him with her pupils dilating. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, and she bows her head so low that the crown of berries nearly falls from her head. Baekhyun hurriedly catches it, rights it, and she bows smally again. “I’m sorry, I just—” 

“You need not apologize, pup,” Baekhyun says. “I’m sure this has been… a troublesome time for you.” 

She looks at him, eyes molten gold and filled with rivers. She bites her lip. 

“I’m scared,” she says. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me now that I’m… now that I’m a Listener.” 

And it hits him then. No one has talked to her. They’ve talked above her. Talked about her future as if she wasn’t even there. As if it didn’t affect her most of all. 

Baekhyun takes her hands in his, and they tremble as he holds them. 

“My lady, I will not lie to you,” Baekhyun says. “I will only tell you the truth of things. I will not mince my words. Your father is right. You are not yet ten summers, but I will not treat you like a babe, all right?” 

She smiles a crinkling smile. 

“Th-Thank you,” she says, and she nods to him. “Please, I… just, I don’t understand any of it. Why am I the Listener, Baekhyun?” 

Baekhyun smiles at her. “You know of the moon, lady, don’t you?” 

“Yes, of course, I know of the moon,” she says, furrowing her brow as if to say _Don’t question my knowledge. I’m nearly a woman grown._

“The moon brings us many things, does she not?” 

“She does,” Noeul agrees. 

“Happiness, sadness, all that lies between. All shades of love and hate, does she not?” 

“Yes,” Noeul says. 

“Some say… Some say that our lives are ladders built in the stars,” Baekhyun says, and he squeezes her hands in his. “That’s what my pack believes, anyway.”

“Ladders?” 

“To climb,” Baekhyun says. “Each step, you move towards the moon until your life is at its end, until you rest with your loved ones who live in the night sky.” 

The girl’s eyes water, and Baekhyun lets her hang on to him, lets her tighten her hold on his hands. 

“Our pack,” she whispers. “Our pack thinks of the waves.” 

“People are waves,” Baekhyun says, and he remembers the words that Junmyeon told him, standing on the shore. “We are all part of the ocean, and if you look long enough, people return to you.” 

“Yes,” Noeul says, and she sniffs. “Yes, that’s right.” 

“And the moon. Does the moon move the ocean?” 

“With her tides,” Noeul says. 

“So the moon must guide us along the way,” Baekhyun says. “Some of us… some of us might not know the way.” He rubs his thumb along the back of her hand. “But you… you have always been special.” 

“Is this why I’m special?” Noeul says, and a little tear falls down her face. “Because I was meant to be the Listener?” 

“You were meant to have the option,” Baekhyun says. “You can say no.” 

Noeul bites her lip as the tears slips down to her mouth. 

“Can I truly?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun assures her. “Yes, of course.” He laughs, pulls her into a hug. “Your father _wants_ you to say no.” 

“No,” she whispers to his shoulder. “No, he wants to just send me home.” 

_Home_, Baekhyun thinks. _Is that what it truly is? Protecting her from this life of servitude? Is this cruelty? Trying to push her to this life?_

“You are a child, but this is your life,” Baekhyun says. “It is yours to decide.” 

She is quiet, her arms around him a strange comfort. She clings to him the way she did when her leg was split, and Baekhyun is glad for it. He wasn’t… wasn’t sure how she would react. Whether she would push him away. 

When Noeul splits the silence, her voice is so soft that Baekhyun barely hears it, instead _feels_ it against him. 

“What did you say?” Baekhyun whispers. 

She pulls out of his arms. “Can you tell me about it?” She turns her head to the side. “About what the Listener does?” 

“Y-Yes, yes, of course. The Listener… The Listener talks to the moon,” Baekhyun says. “She forgets her name. She takes no love. Bears no children. The pack is her family, her great love.” Baekhyun thinks of his Listener, his Haru. “She helps the young boys and girls find what they’re meant to do. She helps them along. Guides them with the song of the moon.” 

“I can’t get bonded?” she asks. “I can’t have any puppies?” 

“If you choose this life, no,” Baekhyun says. 

“Oh,” she says sadly, and she looks down at her hands. “That’s not… I always thought I might be a mother someday.” 

“The Listener is a mother in many ways,” Baekhyun says. He looks down at his own hands. “I… I was friends with the Listener before you. The woman. She… she was a great friend to me.” 

“What happened to her?” Noeul asks. 

“She climbed to the top of her ladder,” Baekhyun smiles. “She lives in the ocean’s waves.” 

“Oh.” Noeul bows her head. “May the moon hold her and keep her.” 

“Surely, her better than most,” Baekhyun says. “They are good friends now.” He clears his throat. “When the moon spoke through you, when she _chose you_ to be her new Listener, I was able to check on her. And in that way… I don’t know, I suppose it was a great comfort to me.” Baekhyun bows his head to her. “I thank you.” 

“Y-You’re welcome,” Noeul says, and she bows her head back. “Was she all right? _Your_ Listener?” 

“Yes.” He smiles, thinking of her. “Yes, she was.” He sucks in a breath, stares into Noeul’s eyes. “I bet, if she was here now, she’d want me to care for you as best I can. Guide you along the way.” 

“Along… to become the Listener?” 

“Yes, I think so,” Baekhyun says. “But it is up to you, not she or I. Not even the moon.” 

She is quiet, and Baekhyun watches as she thinks. Noeul touches the crown on her head, and she pushes it back from her forehead, looks up at Baekhyun. 

“Do you think Father will be mad if I choose to become the Listener?” 

“Maybe,” Baekhyun says. “Will that affect what you choose?” 

“I don’t want to disappoint him,” Noeul says. “I want to be a good girl.” 

“You are.” He laughs, closes his eyes as he leans his head back. He looks through the moon window, clear blue sky overhead. “When I was your age, I don’t think I would have been able to sit still long enough to think about something like this.” 

“Father’s always said I’m very mature for my age,” she notes. 

“And he’s certainly right about that,” Baekhyun smiles. 

More quiet, and Baekhyun looks around the small hut. The bed is different. Freshly built, Baekhyun thinks. New wood. White wood that’s been rubbed with some kind of oil, brushed dark brown. Now that the fear and pheromones have subsided, Baekhyun realizes that the air smells of smoked herbs, flowers, citrus. It reminds Baekhyun of days long gone. Reminds him of the Listener’s cheerful smile. Her white eyes. 

“Baekhyun?” 

Noeul stares at him with wide, determined eyes. Gold. The child of the moon. Listening to the song. 

“Yes?” 

“I think I want to be the Listener,” she says quietly. “I think I’d like to learn.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I think so,” Noeul says. “You liked… You said you were friends with your Listener, didn’t you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then I can have friends?” Noeul asks. “And people will still love me?” 

“They will love you most of all,” Baekhyun says. “I’ll make sure of that.” 

Noeul bites her bottom lip between her teeth before she launches herself into his arms. Baekhyun huffs out a laugh as he holds her. She breathes in, breathes in his scent, and Baekhyun breathes in hers in return. Milk. Milk and flowers.  
  


☾

  
  
Junmyeon returns as Baekhyun pours tea for himself and Noeul.

“Come,” Junmyeon says. “We’re going back to the cabin.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“The ceremony has been postponed indefinitely,” Junmyeon says. “After a conversation with the elders, they understand my concerns.” Baekhyun breathes out, frustrated. “Noeul, come along.” 

“He’s only just poured the tea,” she says. 

Junmyeon gestures for her to follow, and she looks between the two of them, furrowing her brows sadly when she makes eye contact with Baekhyun. 

“Go,” Baekhyun encourages. “I’ll make more.” 

The child stands, and she gingerly removes the crown of berries from her head, setting it on the red pillow. She turns away from Baekhyun, crosses back to Junmyeon. He holds her by the back of the neck as he pulls her into a hug, and she wraps her arms around him tightly. 

“Junmyeon.” 

He turns back, looks at Baekhyun. He must have known this was coming. He must have prepared for it. 

“Noeul, head home,” Junmyeon says. “We’ll be close behind.” 

The pup shifts without another word, happy to escape the tension, and she runs back towards the cabins. 

Junmyeon walks over, sits on the ground across from Baekhyun. He takes the tea meant for Noeul, holds it in his hands. They are alone for the first time since the revelation, and they are sitting in the sacred space, a furious fire building between them. 

“You’re angry with me,” Junmyeon says. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “And you’re angry with me.” 

Junmyeon smiles, small. “I suppose this is… our first fight, then.” 

“I suppose,” Baekhyun says, and for some silly reason, a smile creeps up onto his face. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologize.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to be,” Baekhyun says. He reaches out, wraps Junmyeon’s wrist with the circle of his fingers. “I’m… I know this is a great change, but if she was meant for something like this, then she was _meant_ for it.” 

“Baekhyun.” 

“I mean it truly,” Baekhyun says, and he tries to put as much passion, as much honesty as he can manage into it. “She _wants_ this, my love. She wants to learn.” 

“You’ve encouraged her,” Junmyeon says. “Baekhyun, you—”

“No one was talking to her about it. No one even bothered.” 

Junmyeon breathes out unsteadily, looks down at where they are connected. Baekhyun wrapped around Junmyeon. 

“I don’t want her to worry about such things.” 

“It is her life,” Baekhyun says. “Who else would worry over it?” 

“Me,” Junmyeon says. “I am her blood. I shoulder the weight she can’t yet shoulder.” 

“She is stronger than you know.” 

Junmyeon looks up through his lashes, and his gaze is burning. 

“I know her best,” Junmyeon says. “A-And I know you know her, I know you are… that you are part of her life now, but this is my child.” 

“She would be mine,” Baekhyun says. “She _will_ be mine.” 

“Then you must know that she isn’t old enough to make this decision on her own,” Junmyeon says. “You do not understand how this will affect her later on.” 

“I understand better than you,” Baekhyun says. “This is my culture. This is my pack. A culture I want to share with you. A pack I want you to join.” 

Junmyeon pulls his hand back from Baekhyun, and he sets the tea down. 

“Baekhyun,” he mutters. 

“What?” 

Junmyeon folds his arms across his chest, and Baekhyun mirrors him, steels his face and his scent. “This is nonsensical.” 

“It is her fate.” 

“You don’t believe in fate,” Junmyeon says. 

“Yes, I do,” Baekhyun says. “Yes, I believe in fate. Fate brought me to you. It brought me the both of you.” 

“Was it fate, then, that killed my mate?” Junmyeon asks. “Was it fate that made you barren?” 

For some reason, it hurts terribly, and Baekhyun breathes in sharply. 

“Yes,” he says, and his eyes start to water. “Yes, it was.” 

“Then fate is cruel.” 

“No, fate is balance,” Baekhyun tells him. “And you said you’d made your peace with it.” 

Junmyeon looks down, shakes his head. It makes Baekhyun want to close the distance between them, hold him in his arms. Kiss him. When was the last time they kissed? It seems like so long ago now.

“I had,” Junmyeon says, and his voice cracks. “I thought… I thought I did.” 

“She is wise beyond her years.” 

“She is my only child,” Junmyeon pleads. “You cannot… you cannot _take her_.” 

“She is no one’s to take,” Baekhyun says. 

“Don’t be clever,” Junmyeon says. “This is bigger than you.” 

“Of course it is. It is bigger than all of us.” 

Junmyeon breathes out. 

“Omega, I cannot sit idle by as I lose another. Not when I can prevent it. Do you… do you understand?” 

“I do,” Baekhyun says, and he lets Junmyeon smell it on him, makes his scent go soft and warm. “But _you_ do not fully understand.” 

“Tell me,” Junmyeon beseeches. “Tell me what I do not yet know.” 

“Would you have wanted someone to keep you from meeting your mate? Would you have wanted them to protect you from that pain?” 

Junmyeon looks down. “No. No, of course not.” 

“Because she brought you life,” Baekhyun smiles. “She brought you love and life. And she brought you a child that survived her.” Junmyeon is silent, and Baekhyun watches as tears fall onto the soft dirt under them. “Suffering is never good, never pretty, but it doesn’t mean we can’t use it to become better.” 

“I-I know,” Junmyeon says. “But she—” 

“She will never be lost.” 

Junmyeon meets his eyes, rolling water like the ocean under the moon. “She… She is my child.” He blinks, and another tear falls. “She is my _child_.” 

“She will always be your daughter,” Baekhyun says. “But she will be so much more than that.” 

Junmyeon leans forward, his forehead resting on Baekhyun’s shoulder. Baekhyun wraps his arms around Junmyeon’s body, lets his scent flood the hut. 

“I don’t want this for her,” Junmyeon says, and for the first time since the very first time they met, he sounds completely undone, unspooled, his cloth unweaving. “B-But… But if she chooses—” 

Baekhyun threads his fingers through Junmyeon’s hair, tilts his head up until he can kiss his lips sweetly. 

“Then we obey her wishes,” Baekhyun finishes. “And we listen to her.”  
  


☾

  
  
They go to her together, a united front. Baekhyun’s never felt more a part of their family than he does in that moment, Junmyeon’s hand in his as they stand before her. She’s braided her hair again, one long three-strand plait that lays along her shoulder. She sits at the table. Two cups of tea already poured.

She stares at Junmyeon with hopeful eyes. 

“Do you need time to make your decision?” Junmyeon asks. “There is no harm in waiting until you know what you want.” 

“I want to be the Listener,” she says. “I want to be brave.” 

Junmyeon’s face crumples just a bit, and Baekhyun squeezes Junmyeon’s hand in his. 

“All right,” he says, voice trembling in the center. “If you’re sure.” 

She stands sharply, runs to him with all the eagerness of her age. Baekhyun quickly lets go of Junmyeon’s hand so that he can throw his arms around the girl, hug her close. He whispers into her ear furiously, little things of love: _You must listen well. Never forget that I am your father. The moon will guide you and keep you safe, but I will always be here, watching over you. Run to me when you need help. Never be afraid to howl._ It makes Baekhyun’s eyes water as they cry together, but it is not sad. It is happy, he thinks. A bittersweet joy. 

When they part, Junmyeon wipes a tear from her face. 

“Don’t change your mind,” Junmyeon warns, and he wags his finger at her. 

Baekhyun smiles as she laughs over what’s left of a cry. 

“I won’t,” she promises. “I won’t, I swear it.”  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun lets them spend time on their own, gives the two of them space. It isn’t a true goodbye, of course, they will both be right behind her, but he supposes to Junmyeon it must be a very scary thing. He intends to respect that as best he can.

He goes to the river with Chanyeol and Sehun, and the two of them sulk. It lightens his mood considerably. 

“It is a very real problem,” Sehun says, looking down at Baekhyun over his nose. “Withdrawal.” 

“Go smell a flower,” Baekhyun suggests.

“It isn’t the _same_,” Chanyeol whines, and he rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder. He hums happily when Sehun begins to run his fingers through it, untangling some of the strands. “I miss him.” 

“It’s been one sun,” Baekhyun chides. 

“And? Our struggles are no less difficult than yours,” Sehun says. Baekhyun looks at him hard until Sehun breaks. “Fine, I suppose our struggles are a _bit_ less difficult than yours.” 

“How is our pup?” Chanyeol wonders, offering Baekhyun a smile. “Shall we take her for a run to brighten her spirits?” 

“She’s with Junmyeon,” Baekhyun says. “They’re spending some time together. He’s afraid… well, I think he’s afraid of losing her.” 

Chanyeol makes a noise of assent like he can understand, but Sehun groans.

“I don’t know why he’s being so suffocating. It’s not as if she’s gonna fall in a river and drift away in the current. They’ll stay here, they’ll join the pack! It will be for the best.” 

“I suppose,” Baekhyun says, and he bites a smile. 

“See, you’re happy,” Sehun accuses. 

“I… I’m happy things will work out as they should.” 

“As if there’s such a thing,” Sehun says. 

“Ladder of the stars,” Chanyeol says, and he looks up at Sehun from where he lays on Sehun’s shoulder, eyes sparkling. “What?” 

“You’re very sweet,” Sehun praises. 

“Ah,” Chanyeol says, wiggling happily. 

“Ugh, I forgot how much you both disgust me… even _without_ your alpha.” 

Chanyeol moans as if he’s been mortally wounded. “Don’t remind me of him, I’ll go into an early heat.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he pushes up from the ground. Since they mentioned it, he could really go for a run to clear his head. It’s been too long.  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun did not know the process to become the Listener. They never spoke too much of her childhood. Spoke more of… the present. The future. They never dwelled too deeply on the past, or else… they _tried_ not to.

Over the next moon, the elders explain, she will have to perform her rites. But before all that, of course, they must be inducted. Baekhyun frowns when the head says it. Noeul is too young for a proper induction. 

“She is a special circumstance,” the head says, and she bows down in front of Noeul. “If she is our Listener now, then she is one of our own. Always.” 

Under the moon, they kneel, and Baekhyun realizes that the pack grows twice with him and her. They are anointed with the oils, simple rings of flowers on their heads. They hold hands, and Baekhyun stands behind them as they say the words that relinquish them from the southeast, bring them to the center of the wood. 

When they rise, they rise as part of Baekhyun’s pack. His family through and through. He watches as Junmyeon hugs Noeul close, the little crown on her head tipping sideways as he embraces her as if to say _This doesn’t change who we are._  
  


☾

  
  
Rituals the likes of which he’s never seen before happen in front of him, and he watches Junmyeon watch tensely. That night, Noeul stands resolutely in the middle of the cornfield, a basket full of purple berries in her arms. The moon paints her to look almost ghostly, and everyone in the pack is quiet as she communes. Everyone but Junmyeon.

“What if she doesn’t know what to do?” he whispers. “What if she makes a mistake? Will she be okay? What will—”

“She will speak to the moon herself,” Baekhyun assures him. “And she will guide the pup on her way.” 

The words seem to do nothing to assuage Junmyeon of his fears as they observe the ritual, the scene unchanging. 

Then suddenly, a column of pale light envelops her, and she looks up to the sky, smiling and silent. Junmyeon squeezes Baekhyun’s hand in his, and his scent is on fire again, oil on the water. 

They all watch, voices caught in their throats, as Noeul nods, plunges her hand into the basket before withdrawing a number of berries, setting the basket to the earth. She raises her hand up to the sky, crushes the berries against the palm of her hand. The juice runs down her forearm like blood, and Baekhyun listens to the sharp inhale from Junmyeon. _Resist the urge to run to her, my love,_ Baekhyun thinks. _She is safe._

Noeul lowers her hand, and the light of the magical moon fades away. The heads of the pack begin to clap for her, the rest joining in, and she turns to them, elated. She bows elegantly, lets the juice stain her forearm red as if it doesn’t bother her.

They hurry to her, Junmyeon pulling Baekhyun along before letting go of his hand. He reaches out, takes the girl’s cheek in his hand, turning her face side to side like he’s checking for damage. 

“Are you all right?” Junmyeon asks. “Are you hurt in any way?” 

“No, silly,” Noeul smiles. “I only spoke to the moon.” 

Baekhyun’s heart eases inside him, and Junmyeon’s scent calms. 

“What did she say, little one?” Baekhyun asks. “Was she very nice to you?” 

“Yes,” Noeul says excitedly. “She said I’m to be her special helper! That she’s thankful she didn’t have to pick another.” 

“Well, that’s lovely,” Baekhyun praises, and he shoves his elbow into Junmyeon. “Isn’t it lovely?” 

“Very lovely,” Junmyeon says sullenly. 

“She said you would be unhappy,” Noeul says. “I suppose she was right.” Junmyeon squints at her, not fond of this new-found ability. “Father, you mustn’t worry.” 

“I am your father, it is my job to worry,” Junmyeon says. “Now, come along. I’ll escort you to the river to wash up.” 

“I’m the Listener now,” Noeul says. “You can’t tell me when to wash.” 

Junmyeon bites across his smile as he takes her by her berry-covered hand, pulling her off to the river. “Now, you listen to me, young lady, I don’t care what the _moon_ tells you, you wash when I tell you to wash.”  
  


☾

  
  
While Junmyeon has accepted Noeul’s choice in the matter, it doesn’t necessarily make the process _easy_ by any stretch of the imagination. Baekhyun takes to sleeping in the cabin with Junmyeon and Noeul, living in the forgotten village, left almost entirely vacant after the southeast’s return to their homes. It is tense, some mornings. On ritual mornings in particular.

“It’s silly,” Junmyeon accuses. 

“It is the way of my people,” Baekhyun reminds him. “_Your_ people now.” 

“Yes, yes,” Junmyeon agrees. “_My people._” 

“And mine too,” Noeul says cheerily. “But before we go, I’d like to walk through the forest.” 

“No,” Junmyeon says. 

“Baekhyun,” Noeul says, and she waves her little hand at Junmyeon.

“What exactly do you expect me to do with him?” Baekhyun laughs. 

“You’re better at explaining,” Noeul says, and she bats her eyelashes at him. “He listens well to you.” 

“She is charming, isn’t she?” Junmyeon says, voice flat. 

“Very charming, indeed.” He turns to Junmyeon. “A walk wouldn’t hurt, would it?” 

“Oh, _moon_, it _worked_ on you?” Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders with a smile. “Fine, fine. A quick walk. Baekhyun, since you’re so easily swayed, you will escort her, but be back well before high noon. I won’t be held responsible for tardiness, have we an understanding?” 

“Yes, Father,” Noeul says, and she launches herself into Junmyeon’s arms. He kisses her on the cheek quickly before she skips to the door. “Hurry along, Baekhyun, we’re losing the light now.” She disappears from sight, running past where Baekhyun can see. 

“And you,” Junmyeon says, pouting his lips. “Have we an understanding?” 

Baekhyun hums as he crowds into Junmyeon’s space, threading his arms around his waist. He kisses him firmly, hands resting on the small of Junmyeon’s back. 

“Yes, Alpha,” Baekhyun whispers.

Junmyeon moans softly as Baekhyun presses in for another kiss, growing in passion the way a fire grows when more kindling is thrown to it. 

It is a tense moment soon broken by the twinkling sound of Noeul’s voice. 

“Baekhyun, hurry!” 

Junmyeon groans as Baekhyun pulls away with a smile. 

“See you at the ceremony,” Baekhyun says. 

“Leave, you willful thing,” Junmyeon says, but he returns the smile, waves Baekhyun away. 

Baekhyun leaves, a certain amount of regret lacing his movements, but once he sees Noeul hopping from foot to foot as if she can’t get the energy out of her body quickly enough, he feels less regretful. 

“To the woods, then,” Baekhyun says. “Lead the way, oh wise Listener.” 

“I quite like that,” Noeul smiles, but once they’re out of sight from the cabin, she turns to him, smiles brighter, more charming than ever before. “Could we _run_?” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “I suppose there’s no dissuading you.” 

“There isn’t,” Noeul says, and she pulls at his sleeve as they walk. “Please, please, please, please, plea—” 

“Fine, yes, go on,” Baekhyun says. 

She shifts like a breeze rushing past. She is a very pretty little black wolf, and she yips at him, biting at his hands until he shifts beside her. 

They spend the better part of the morning running. It is a delicious feeling, to run until your chest hurts, and Baekhyun luxuriates in it. The pup makes the happiest sounds beside him, cheerful chirps and yips, and they run opposite the river for as long as the forest will stretch before Baekhyun turns. The puppy follows him, and she chases after his tail. He barks at her, but it is a happy kind of bark, one that she eagerly returns. 

He returns the child to her father, and she’s got leaves and twigs stuck through her wild mane, dirt smudged on her cheek. She looks like a proper wolf, and Baekhyun feels a surge of pride in his stomach as he looks at her. 

“You are a nasty influence,” Junmyeon accuses, and he leads Noeul back to the river by the hand. “We’ve got to wash you before you’re due to appear before the pack. I won’t have a ragamuffin sharing my name.” 

“_Father_,” Noeul whines, trying to struggle away from his grasp, and Baekhyun can only laugh.  
  


☾

  
  
As the days go on, her eyes go whiter and whiter, and Junmyeon doesn’t say anything, but Baekhyun can smell the concern on him. Noeul assures them both that it doesn’t hurt, that the moon explained it to her, that all is well, and while she seems more mature than ever, it hits Baekhyun in that moment just how young she is, just how wondrous it is that she’s able to shoulder such a weight at her age.

Baekhyun doesn’t know if he would have been able. 

They give her a mash of herbs and flowers in the Listener’s hut, and they leave her as her pulse slows, her eyes fluttering shut. The elders say the sleep helps her to speak to the dead, helps her forget worry, helps her listen to the moon with a light heart. For the first hour, Junmyeon stands on the other side of the curtain, too nervous to even pace back and forth. 

“It’s all right,” Baekhyun assures him. “It’s okay.” 

“What if she doesn’t wake again?” Junmyeon whispers. “What if something goes wrong?” 

“It won’t.” 

“But what if it does?” 

“It _won’t_.” 

Junmyeon huffs, throws his arms around Baekhyun. “Don’t tell me I’m being irrational.” 

“I won’t,” Baekhyun promises. 

She wakes in the middle of the night, parting the curtain to find Junmyeon wrapped in Baekhyun’s arms, the pair of them leaned against the side of the hut. 

“I’ll wake him,” Baekhyun whispers. 

“No,” she smiles. “Let him rest. I’ve seen many things.” She looks at him, nods. “He deserves his rest.”  
  


☾

  
  
A feast is held in the new Listener’s name, and slowly, they are to forget Noeul. Slowly, they are meant to know her only as the Listener. Baekhyun cannot look at her and think anything but Noeul, a puppy that hated him, has come to tolerate him, maybe even love him.

She looks scared as she sits at the long table at the head of the hall, Junmyeon at her left. Baekhyun sits with Sehun and Chanyeol, listens to them idly squabble over something inconsequential. He studies the pair of them, Noeul eating carefully, Junmyeon looking blankly into the distance. They both look as if they need someone to rescue them, someone to intervene. Baekhyun wants to push out of his seat, cross over to them, make them both smile, but he isn’t sure it’s his place. After all, he’s just… he’s only the intended. The child isn’t his. 

“Excuse me, are you even listening?” Sehun asks, and he smacks Baekhyun on the back. “Moon, you are always off in your own little world, aren’t you?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun admits. He turns his back to the head table, puts his chin his hands as he looks between the red wolf and the white. “What’s going on, then?” 

Sehun sighs. “Now we’ve got to repeat the entire story.” 

“No, no, only the important part,” Chanyeol says. “My heat is coming up.” 

“Moon help us all,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. 

“Minseok won’t be here!” Chanyeol screeches. “What am I to do?” 

Baekhyun gestures vaguely between the two of them. “Take care of it.” 

“He’s an omega,” Chanyeol says furrowing his brow. 

“As if that bars me from being able to take care of you!” Sehun squawks. “See, this is why we need Baekhyun around.” He pokes Chanyeol in the chest. “He keeps _you_ from being too silly.” 

“I’m not silly, I’m concerned,” Chanyeol says, and he leans forward, kisses Sehun on the lips for all to see. Baekhyun gags. “Oh, don’t be a child.” 

“I never thought I’d see the day when _you_ said that to _me_.” 

“End of days, clearly,” Sehun deadpans. “Go to them.” 

Baekhyun leans back. “To who?” 

Sehun points in the direction of the head table, to the love of his life, to the child. 

“You obviously want to be there,” Sehun says. “And truly, I think you know you belong there. So go.” 

Baekhyun bites his lip as he pushes up from the table, leaves the omegas to their own devices. The sound of his footsteps is swallowed by the din of the hall, the sound of the feast, and no one notices or seems to care when he goes to the head table, sits at Noeul’s right. 

“What are you doing here?” she asks, and for the first time, she asks him that question, it sounds relieved. 

“Here to help,” Baekhyun says, and he nudges her with his shoulder. “You are the new Listener after all, and I am at your service.” 

“I’m so bored,” Noeul complains. “Father won’t let me go talk to any of the other kids.” 

“It’s a feast in your honor,” Junmyeon says. “And besides, this is what you wanted, wasn’t it? To be the Listener?” 

Noeul frowns, seems to rethink her decisions in that moment, but Baekhyun is eager to intervene. 

“She’s allowed to go _play_,” Baekhyun chides. “She’s still a child. She needs _friends_.” 

Junmyeon sighs, his shoulders shifting. “Fine.” He nods towards the group of puppies that play with dice in the corner of the hall. “Go.” Noeul puts the crown down onto the table next to her empty plate, and happily skips away. Junmyeon reaches under the table, takes Baekhyun’s hand in his. “Are you sure about all this?” 

“I know best, don’t I?” 

Junmyeon turns to him, shoots him a coy look. “Am I meant to be truthful?” 

“You’ll pay for that, Alpha.” 

“I look forward to it,” Junmyeon says, and he threads his fingers through Baekhyun’s.  
  


☾

  
  
The final step of the transformation is a grand one, one that Baekhyun knows Junmyeon will hate. He doesn’t know how to say it well, so he just says it plainly.

“She spends the night in the field on her own,” Baekhyun says. “Tonight, she listens as the moon sings her to sleep.” 

Junmyeon’s face morphs, twists. He steps back, puts distance between the two of them. Immediately, the tone of the conversation changes, and the scent between them shifts too. 

“No.” 

“It is the way.” 

“Then they can find another way,” Junmyeon says. 

“Junmyeon.” 

It unravels, things they’ve tried to paint over, things they convinced themselves not to say. 

“I… I cannot give her over,” Junmyeon says helplessly. “I cannot do it. I’ve… I’ve tried to imagine a world where she is anything but my child, and—”

“She was always going to grow,” Baekhyun says. “She was always going to grow up.” 

“I didn’t think it would be so _soon_. I didn’t think she would know her way in the world before she had even presented.” 

Noeul walks in, and they turn to her, observe her. She stands there staring at Junmyeon, hands behind her back. 

“I’m going to do it,” she says. “And I’m not scared.” 

“I’m glad,” Junmyeon says, and his eyes water. “I’m glad, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe.” 

“I spoke to her,” Noeul says. “I spoke to her, I did.” 

“The moon can say whatever she likes, but I—” 

“Not the moon,” Noeul says. “N—Not the moon.” 

Junmyeon looks at her, face falling as it hits them both slowly. The ghost of her mother. 

“W-What did she say?” Junmyeon asks softly. 

“That she’s happy,” Noeul says. “That she’s proud of me.” She fidgets with her hands in front of her. “That she wants you to remember the words she said.” Her eyes are almost totally white now, just the barest hint of gold left there. She is well on her way. She is almost there.

Junmyeon closes his eyes. 

“All right,” Junmyeon says. “All right.” 

Noeul hugs him gently, and Junmyeon presses a kiss to her hair. 

“You needn’t worry,” Noeul says softly. “They will keep me safe.” 

The two of them walk her to the field, and there is no one around, no one far as the eye can see. The world is still, and the stars are plentiful above them. It is a clear night. Baekhyun looks to the moon. A crescent. He supposes this too is a birth. 

“You don’t need to worry,” Noeul repeats, and she tilts her chin up. “I’m big. I can be on my own.” 

Junmyeon stares down at her, wonder in his eyes. 

“You are too like your mother,” he says, and Baekhyun’s heart thinks it should ache. “Are you sure?” 

“I’m _sure_,” she says. “And I know that—”

“You can howl if you need me,” Junmyeon finishes, “yes.” 

She waves them away, and she lays down in the field, eyes shutting. 

“It will be morning before you know it,” she says, and she sounds too wise, too good. 

Baekhyun pulls Junmyeon away by the hand, brings them back to the cabin to wait out the night.  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun pours tea for Junmyeon. He watches as Junmyeon sits at the table, fidgeting nervously. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything, but he pours the tea. He slides the cup to Junmyeon, and Junmyeon ignores it as he stares out the window.

“It isn’t going to help,” Baekhyun reminds him, and it makes Junmyeon look at him, furrowing his brow in confusion. “Worrying.” 

Junmyeon scoffs. “What else am I supposed to do?” 

“Well, I’m here,” Baekhyun smiles. “You could talk to me.” 

Junmyeon closes his eyes. Opens them. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being…”

“Difficult,” Baekhyun answers. 

“Yes,” Junmyeon smiles. “Difficult.” 

Baekhyun nods towards the tea. “Drink. It will make you feel better.” 

Junmyeon obeys the command, lifts the cup to his mouth, and drinks. Baekhyun watches the pulls of his throat, pleased when Junmyeon sets the cup back down. 

“Is this a violet mix?” Junmyeon smirks. “Do you want to send me to bed early with no dessert?” 

“No, only want to calm your nerves.” He stands from the table, puts the dishes away. “I fully intend for you to have your dessert.” 

He walks over to Junmyeon, leads him to their nest of furs. It smells so deeply of the two of them, their scents mingling. They smell so much like each other now that it is intoxicating in its own way. Baekhyun smiles as he kisses him, hand at the back of his neck, playing over the scar. Junmyeon shakes at the touch, shudders out a soft sound. 

“Is this your way of distracting me?” Junmyeon whispers. 

“Is it working?” 

Baekhyun lays his body down on top of Junmyeon’s, relishes in the sound of desire that falls thoughtlessly from Junmyeon’s mouth. 

“How long has it been, alpha? Since you’ve had me? Since you’ve tasted me?” 

Junmyeon moans brokenly, his hands on Baekhyun’s waist. 

“Too long,” he answers. “Much too long.” 

“Then worry not,” Baekhyun whispers, “because you’ll have me tonight.” 

Junmyeon moans again, and they are slow to pull the clothes from each other’s bodies. There has been so much going on, so much to think about and worry over. It is good to indulge, to be thoughtless for a change. 

Baekhyun moves on instinct, plays with Junmyeon’s cock in his hand as he kisses him hard. It is a playful sort of touch, and Baekhyun smiles against Junmyeon’s mouth once he groans. 

It does not take long for Junmyeon to settle into it, to mirror Baekhyun and reach down to take Baekhyun in his own hand. The touch sizzles across Baekhyun’s skin, makes Baekhyun shiver. They fall apart into each other’s touch, and the night is dark around them, beautiful and warm. It is easy to forget everything then, forget everything but this, but him, but the two of them together. Love surrounds and consumes, devours hungrily, and Baekhyun offers himself up. _Me_, he thinks. _Take me._

They are slow to move forward towards conclusion, instead reveling in whatever aimless pleasures they can both give and take. Baekhyun kisses down Junmyeon’s body, sucking kisses to bruise his skin red. Red. Purple. White. Birth. Life. Death. He sees forevers in the moments he spends wrapped in Junmyeon’s arms, and when Junmyeon slips his fingers inside Baekhyun’s body, Baekhyun arches his back sharply, moves where he is moved. 

Baekhyun falls onto his back, hands at Junmyeon’s shoulders as Junmyeon positions himself. He sweeps away a line of sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand, eyes squeezing shut momentarily as he steadies himself. 

Baekhyun spreads his legs a little wider, welcomes him in, and when Junmyeon pushes inside him, it feels like the most delicious heat swirling through his blood. He moans as Junmyeon is slow to thrust all the way in. The stretch is intense, wonderful, and he pulls Junmyeon into a kiss, tries to tell him everything with just that. 

“Moon,” Junmyeon whispers, and the words vibrate along Baekhyun’s lips. “You are everything.” 

It makes Baekhyun whimper, his body working on its own accord. His hips roll up, up to meet Junmyeon. 

It is an eager, wanton love, burgundy like wine and blood, and Baekhyun can see the heat at the tops of his cheeks. It colors his field of vision, hazy and red, and he whines as Junmyeon fucks him, the rhythm picking up. He is sure that the sound of their bodies echoes in the room, but Baekhyun can only hear the sound of Junmyeon’s breath, too focused on that to focus on anything else. 

Junmyeon makes a particularly lovely sound, a high-pitched whimper, and it makes Baekhyun’s stomach swim with arousal. It pushes him towards an edge he doesn’t want to reach, and he claws at Junmyeon’s skin, drawing thin lines of red across his shoulders. 

It is a thundering dance, and Baekhyun clings to him, holds them close as they go together. Baekhyun wants to say something, wants to say _Not yet_, wants to spend just a bit more inside the feeling, but how could he deny them this? How could he ever tell Junmyeon no? 

He comes without the touch of his own hand, without the touch of Junmyeon’s. Tangling his fingers in Junmyeon’s hair, he cries out Junmyeon’s name, and Junmyeon swallows the sound in a kiss. He is ablaze, deep in the center of the fire, and it only calms once Junmyeon kisses the hollow of his throat, makes Baekhyun’s breath catch as he works through the sounds of his own orgasm. 

Junmyeon’s knot pushes him open, and Baekhyun moans, a shattering moan deep in his chest. He tears up, not from pain, but from the wave of emotion that crashes over him. Junmyeon spills inside him, keeps them locked, and they hold each other close. It is the first time in a great while that Baekhyun remembers the pain from that Cradle Night so many moons ago. His tears fall onto the furs as Junmyeon turns them so that they can rest side by side. It is then that Junmyeon sees him, brushes the salt away with his fingertips. 

“Did I hurt you?” Junmyeon asks, concerned. 

He huddles him close, their bodies hot as they lie there. 

“No,” Baekhyun says, and it is the wistful sort of angst that you can brush away with a kiss. “No, I was just thinking.” 

Junmyeon pulls back, kisses him sweetly, and Baekhyun shuts his eyes, lets another tear fall until he is feeling much drier than before. 

“What were you thinking?” Junmyeon asks. 

“About… about children,” Baekhyun says. 

“She is yours,” Junmyeon assures him, “and I’ve… I’m sorry if I’ve made it difficult on you, these past days.” 

“No. No, it isn’t that. I’m just… I don’t know.” 

“It’s all right,” Junmyeon says. “It’s all right, I swear it.” 

“I know.” He buries his face into Junmyeon’s shoulder. Sniffs. “I know, I’m being silly.” 

Junmyeon threads his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, holds him close. “There isn’t anything silly about this.” 

Still and quiet, the night beats on, and Baekhyun gets close enough that Junmyeon’s comforting scent envelopes him. He closes his eyes, allows himself the moment to collect his thoughts before speaking. 

“I know you worry for her,” Baekhyun says, “but if she is to be my daughter too, then you must trust me. In all things.” 

“I do,” Junmyeon says quietly. 

“Do you?” 

Junmyeon angles himself back, hand gentle along Baekhyun’s jaw as they look into each other’s eyes. He is beautiful, soft like the furs beneath their bodies. 

“Yes,” he answers. “I trust you.” 

“I will always be there to guide her,” Baekhyun promises. “Always.” 

Junmyeon’s face softens even more, improbable but always possible, and he leans in to kiss Baekhyun deeply. It is a moment of comfort, of love, of honesty, and Baekhyun relaxes into the bed as they slowly, slowly part from each other. It takes a great while, and Baekhyun takes no pleasure in it. 

“We should wash,” Junmyeon says, and Baekhyun smiles as his prudence. 

“In a moment,” Baekhyun says. “Let me use you just a little while longer.” 

Junmyeon makes a sound, a pushing of air, and he curls himself close. “All right.” Baekhyun can hear him smile. “I’m content to be used by you, Omega.”  
  


☾

  
  
Baekhyun is stirred in the middle of the night, Junmyeon at his back. He blinks awake, confused, and then he realizes that Junmyeon’s mouth is at the nape of his neck. Baekhyun’s eyes flutter closed as sleep moves Junmyeon, teeth against Baekhyun’s skin. He is exceedingly sensitive there, and he shivers as Junmyeon kisses and nips at him, puppy bites that make Baekhyun want to cry out in the darkness.

Junmyeon absently pushes his hips forward, his cock nudging against Baekhyun’s ass, and he rocks back into it, moaning softly in the moonlight. Junmyeon’s arms around Baekhyun’s body tighten, and Baekhyun holds him close, hands on Junmyeon’s forearms. He waits another moment, luxuriates in it before he wakes Junmyeon. 

“Alpha,” Baekhyun whispers, and he taps Junmyeon on the hand where it rests on Baekhyun’s stomach. “Alpha, wake up. You’re dreaming. Alpha. _Junmyeon._” 

Junmyeon fights to stay asleep, it seems, because he struggles to the surface, mouth at Baekhyun’s neck only pausing once he breathes in sharply. 

“It’s still dark,” he mutters, and his voice is raspy with sleep. “What’s going on?” 

“You were dreaming,” Baekhyun repeats, and heat rises to his face as he wonders if he should elaborate. Instead, he pushes his ass back into Junmyeon’s erection, grinds against it until Junmyeon chokes out a moan. “A pleasant dream, I assume.” 

“Baekhyun, you tease me.” 

The words rumble across the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, reminds him of the feeling of Junmyeon’s mouth, the threat of a mark, and he shivers in Junmyeon’s embrace. He feels himself harden, feels a thrill of warmth run through him as he thinks _Am I on the edge of a heat?_ Certainly that’s what it feels like. He works himself back for another moment, the sex already in the air as blood spreads in water. 

“Yes, Alpha. But you… you’ve gotten me all worked up.”

“Worked up, hm?” 

Baekhyun wordlessly takes Junmyeon’s hand, directs it low between the split of his legs. He is freshly wet, and when Junmyeon’s fingers play through the slickness, he feels himself clench around nothing. 

“Moon,” Junmyeon groans, and he takes Baekhyun’s cock in his hand, slides his fist down until Baekhyun shakes in his arms. “Is that good?” 

“Y-Yes,” Baekhyun moans, and he leans his head back against Junmyeon’s shoulder to bare his neck for Junmyeon lewdly. “More.” 

_Is it as enticing as it was in the dream? Do you want to mark me as your own? You always say I can’t be possessed, cannot be owned, but what if I want to give of myself? What if I want to take you the same way?_

Junmyeon teases him, plays with the head of his cock in the most torturous way until Baekhyun turns, faces him. 

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asks, furrowing his brow. “Do you want me to kill you?” 

“Certainly not,” Junmyeon says, but he ticks his head to the side, considering, “though I’m sure there are much worse ways to meet the maker.” 

Baekhyun groans, crushes their lips together. Sleep falls away easily as they breathe each other in, more and more, until Baekhyun is resting on top of Junmyeon’s body, legs on either side of him. They grind their bodies together, and it grows in desperation, grows in heat.

“Is it just that you’ve been craving this, pup?” Junmyeon smiles, closed-mouth and teasing. He looks so handsome, so incredibly good. “Can’t get enough?” 

Baekhyun scowls, thumps his fist against Junmyeon’s chest. “It’s _your_ fault.” 

“Haven’t been taking care of my duties as your alpha, have I?” 

“No,” Baekhyun answers, and he raises himself up, sinks down on Junmyeon’s cock in one smooth motion, “not the way I need.” 

“I won’t make that mistake again,” Junmyeon answers, and his hands come to his chest, and Baekhyun laces his fingers through Junmyeon’s. “You feel—”

“Quiet,” Baekhyun says, and he focuses himself on moving to a rhythm, gentle rolls of his body, “you’ll distract me.” 

Junmyeon grins up at Baekhyun, squeezes Baekhyun’s hands in his. At once, Junmyeon thrusts his hips up to meet Baekhyun as he sinks down. Baekhyun is forced to brace his weight on Junmyeon’s hands, choking out a moan as Junmyeon’s cock pushes up against him at just the right angle. 

“I would hate to do something like that,” Junmyeon whispers. 

Baekhyun works against the feeling, the buzzing, insistent pleasure that thrums through him every time he sinks down, rocking his body against Junmyeon’s. He momentarily loses himself to the immensity of it, Junmyeon surrounding him in a cloud of lust. 

He takes Junmyeon’s hands, pulls Junmyeon’s arms out like wings, and he lowers his body down until they are chest to chest, arms outspread. 

“Keep your hands there,” Baekhyun whispers, and he presses the words to Junmyeon’s mouth in a kiss as he drags himself back up, hands planted firmly on Junmyeon’s chest. “I want to fuck you.” 

It must be the right words to say, or perhaps it is just that any words are the right words when Baekhyun says them, because Junmyeon’s pheromones pulse in tidal waves over Baekhyun, washing over him until he leaks. He smells like need, like the ocean, like love and mating, like fucking until morning, like forever. Like forever. Like a mark on the back of your neck. 

Baekhyun surprises himself with the noise that pours from his lips, and he fucks himself on Junmyeon’s cock, not caring how he looks or sounds. It is the free kind of love, the kind that makes you forget about decorum. The kind of love that makes you unconscious, completely unconscious of self. He whines, throat tightening as their bodies work, as the scent grows thick with sweat. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Junmyeon asks, and he tangles his touch in the furs at his side as Baekhyun fucks himself wantonly on Junmyeon’s cock. “W-Wh—_Moon_, Baekhyun.” 

“Y—You shouldn’t have been mouthing at my neck,” Baekhyun moans. “I want your fucking mark.” 

Junmyeon blinks, and Baekhyun slows to a stop, realizing what he’s said. It went without saying, but now, he’s said it. Sitting on Junmyeon, the moon shining down over them. 

“You do?” 

“W-Well, yes,” Baekhyun says. 

“With haste?” 

“That makes it sound thoughtless.” 

It makes Junmyeon smile, hands coming to rest on Baekhyun’s hips. “And it’s anything but?” 

“Y—Listen well, Alpha, because I won’t say it a second time, do you hear me?” Baekhyun threatens. “You know very plainly our intentions for each other.” 

“Yes, Baekhyun,” Junmyeon answers. 

“So I think, now that you’ve been committed to my pack—” 

“Yes.” 

“Along with your child…” 

“Yes, Omega,” Junmyeon smiles. 

“I only think that it would be prudent to… to mark each other, of course,” Baekhyun says, and a stupid blush heats his face. “This is very silly.” 

“No,” Junmyeon says, and he pulls Baekhyun down by the shoulders, kisses him sweetly. “It isn’t silly at all.” 

“It is,” Baekhyun whines, “I feel like a child begging for an extra hour before bedtime.” 

“Ah, there’s no need to beg.” There is so much love in his eyes, Baekhyun is nearly overwhelmed by it. “No, my mark has belonged to you for quite some time. I only… well, is it silly that I was waiting for you to ask?” 

“W-Why would you wait for me to ask?” 

Junmyeon smiles sadly at him. “In case you changed your mind.” Baekhyun growls, and it makes Junmyeon laugh. “Oh, you’re so _scary_ sometimes.” 

“Change my _mind?_ As if, because I’m an omega, I’m some flighty creature or some such.” 

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” 

“I’ll put something _else_ in your mouth!” 

“Something sweet, please,” Junmyeon smiles. “You know I favor the sweet things.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he kisses Junmyeon hard, kisses him with all of the passion and fervor that he’s been saving up. It is wonderful, this feeling of completeness that swells within him. Junmyeon is slow to push Baekhyun onto his back, slow to rise to his knees, slipping out of his body. 

“Onto your front,” Junmyeon says. 

“O-Oh, right now?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Well, you did say with haste.” 

Baekhyun furrows his brow. He thinks Junmyeon might be challenging him, seeing if he’ll get nervous and run, but Baekhyun is made of stronger stuff. He turns onto his belly, gives Junmyeon his back. 

Soft fingers trace his spine, and Baekhyun shivers as they dance. 

“While I’m inside you?” Junmyeon asks. 

“I-I don’t know,” Baekhyun says. He looks over his shoulder, only realizing belatedly how coy he must look doing so. 

“It is your decision, my love.” His eyes skim along the length of Baekhyun’s back before they flick up to meet Baekhyun’s gaze. “Always up to you.” 

Baekhyun makes a sound of discontent, grabs aimlessly for Junmyeon’s hand to pull him down on top of Baekhyun’s body. 

“Hurry,” Baekhyun says. “In.” 

“Puppy,” Junmyeon whispers, and he slides back in, Baekhyun moaning. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you patience?” 

Baekhyun groans, and it makes Junmyeon shake out a laugh as he makes their bodies turn from two to one. 

“Don’t bring up my mother right now,” Baekhyun says. 

“As you wish,” Junmyeon says, and he is slow to push Baekhyun’s hair over one of his shoulders, baring his neck. “I… I love you.” 

It makes Baekhyun’s eyes water, the sensations singing along his body as Junmyeon kisses the sensitive skin, the whole world falling away as they meet, meet again. 

Baekhyun cries when Junmyeon sinks his teeth into Baekhyun’s neck, and the magic that flows from one to the other is fiery and red, like blood and bursting berries, like life, like _life_. Baekhyun moans happily as the spells take hold of him, engrain themselves deeply under his skin, take root under his fingernails, meld with the marrow in his bones. It is a feeling unlike any other, one he will only experience once, and he shuts his eyes hard, tries to relish the moment. He is deep in the throes of pleasure, and it seems both like the blink of an eye and a year spent under the bright sun. 

When Junmyeon withdraws, Baekhyun looks back over his shoulder, tears making his vision wavy. 

“Is it beautiful?” he asks. 

“Yes,” Junmyeon says, and he leans in to kiss Baekhyun. “Yes, so very beautiful.” 

Baekhyun moans in frustration, with desire to fulfill the other end of the charm. There is no mark without its pair, and he needs with every fiber of his being to mark Junmyeon as he was marked. Perhaps they were not made to belong to each other, but they can promise each other forever now that they’ve found it. 

“What?” Junmyeon smiles. “You want to mark me too? Ah, I hadn’t considered it.” 

“Shut up,” Baekhyun says. “Shut up and lie on your back.” 

“Normally, an omega asks for the alpha’s back,” Junmyeon explains. “It’s very unusual to ask for the belly. You know that’s a sign of submission, don’t you? You’re very unusual, my love.” 

Baekhyun groans, and Junmyeon just laughs, rolls over onto his back. Baekhyun lays his body on top of Junmyeon’s, places careless open-mouthed kisses at the hollow of Junmyeon’s throat. Baekhyun’s had time to think about this, the placement. 

He won’t cover the mark of another. He will make his own. 

“Yes,” Junmyeon whispers. “Please.” 

It is so rare, so lovely to hear Junmyeon beg. 

He holds Junmyeon’s cock in his hand, slides it back into his body. He is delighted by the fractured moan that falls from Junmyeon’s lips, and Baekhyun kisses it away, swallows it hungrily. Every second that passes is a pain, so once they’re joined once more, he wastes no more time, marries them for good. 

Baekhyun sinks his teeth into Junmyeon’s throat and wave after ocean wave of binding magic dances around them. It feels like the tightest knot, feels like the tallest tree, feels like swirling, open sky, and Baekhyun goes dizzy as he tastes just the faintest hint of blood on his tongue. 

He blinks when it’s all finished, when the moment of magic has passed, when the deed is done, and he pushes up, looking at Junmyeon through a fog. 

“Did it hurt terribly?” Baekhyun asks quietly. 

“No,” Junmyeon answers. “No, it felt good.” He blinks slowly. “It feels good to be yours.” 

Baekhyun collapses to him, their bodies entwined in every way. That evening, they rest well, and in the morning, the birds sing songs of them, Baekhyun is sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ oh junmyeon, ur such a worrywart 
> 
> sorry that this chapter took so long! what with the holidays and disillusionment with life in general, it took a very long time to.... Commit myself to this. i wrote it over the past five days, and completing this chapter feels like a big weight off my shoulders. i dont know. this story is important to me. i wanna do a good job with it. i dont want to lose narrative tension and have it turn into like, rotten banana in my hands, do you know what i mean? god, of course you don't, I Dont even know what i mean. anyway nothing matters. i hope you liked it even though its been just shy of a month since the last update LOL 
> 
> thank you for reading. have a very nice day! sorry i talk so stinkin much!!!! 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	13. curves in silver and gold

In the morning, they go to the field, hand in hand. Baekhyun lets the high grass tickle his ankles, and he hides his smile as if there is anything to hide.

No, everything is out in the open now, and there isn’t anything more that needs to be said. They have bonded, and this life is now shared. 

“You smell happy this morning,” Junmyeon notes, and Baekhyun does not need to look up to know that he’s smiling, but he looks up anyway. “I love you.” 

“And I you,” Baekhyun says. “So very much.” 

“But never as much as I love you.” 

“A poor choice in words,” Baekhyun says, and he bites his lip before bumping his hip into Junmyeon’s. “You know that I’m quite competitive.” 

“This is a competition you will never win,” Junmyeon says, and he rubs his thumb against the back of Baekhyun’s hand. “I can swear that to you.” 

“Hush, think of the child,” Baekhyun jests. 

Junmyeon holds Baekhyun’s hand tightly as they walk to her. Baekhyun imagined that they might have to wake her, but when they happen upon her, she is lying there in the field, staring at the clouds. 

“Good morning,” she says, and she stretches, white eyes looking up at them. “Did you have a pleasant evening?” 

Baekhyun nearly collapses as she sits up straight, smiling at them. 

“It was pleasant,” Junmyeon answers. “Did you rest well?” 

“I did,” she smiles. “And now, the pair of you are bonded.” 

Baekhyun stands there, subtly hiding himself behind Junmyeon’s body, holding him by the waist. 

“We are,” Junmyeon says. “I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you about it beforehand.” He bows, and he pulls Baekhyun down along with him before standing them back up straight. 

“Don’t be silly, Father,” she smiles, and she stares at Baekhyun, still stood behind Junmyeon. “You told me you would bond, and now you have.” She bows her head just a little. 

Baekhyun steps out from behind Junmyeon, furrows his brow. “You aren’t mad?” 

“Why would I be mad?” she asks. “You are my friend. I want you to be happy.” 

Baekhyun frowns, gets to the ground, and gathers her up in a hug. Sometimes, he feels much more like the child and she seems much more like the adult. 

“I love you,” Baekhyun whispers. “I love you, and I’ll always be here to help you whenever and wherever I can.” 

She laughs, a soft little sound, and she buries it into his neck. 

“I know, Baekhyun,” she says, and she sounds so much older now already. “I love you too.”  
  


☽

The final ceremony is held under the light of the full moon, and Baekhyun and the rest of the pack wait outside as the moon climbs high into the sky. When it sits above the moon window, a beautiful pale blue light shines down into the hut, glittering with magic and song. She sings one last time for Noeul, one last refrain. Baekhyun shuts his eyes as he tries to listen, but he can’t hear anything more than a faint hum. He guesses that’s why _he’s_ not the Listener.

Junmyeon’s hand around his tightens, and the pressure makes Baekhyun turn his head. Junmyeon has his eyes closed, same as Baekhyun did just a moment ago, but a tear slips down his face. He knows it has not been easy to let go of her. _This will be good_, he promises, lets the words travel across the stars, hoping that they’ll find their way to Junmyeon amid all the quiet. 

The moon hovers in the sky as she sings her song, and Baekhyun wonders what she might tell the child. He hopes she speaks of safety, of love, of all the good things in the world. Protection from the bad. No loneliness. No pain or strife. 

When the girl emerges from the hut, she is standing very straight, a gentle smile on her face. The pack encloses her in an embrace, but at the center, Junmyeon holds her closest. 

She is no longer Noeul. She is reborn. She is the Listener.  
  


☽

She doesn’t take much when she moves permanently into the hut. The white fur she was wrapped in as a pup. A couple of her wood carvings. Her deck of memory cards, painted by Chanyeol. That makes Baekhyun’s heart ache. He cannot imagine what Junmyeon must feel, seeing her go. It’s then that Baekhyun well and truly understands his fear for the first time. It must seem an awful lot like loss. Baekhyun doesn’t know what words to say to comfort him, but luckily, the Listener has her selection prepared.

“You will not have time to miss me,” she says, hair braided down her back in a single plait. She puts it over her shoulder, pets her hand down it. “We live in the same pack, don’t we? We breathe the same air, don’t we?” 

“I won’t hear a lecture from my flesh and blood,” Junmyeon says. 

“I am not lecturing you, Father. Only explaining that whenever you want to see me, you are permitted to visit.” She looks at Baekhyun. “Isn’t that right? Tell him there’s no reason to be foolish, Baekhyun.” She waves her hand at him dismissively. 

Junmyeon glares at Baekhyun like _he’s_ the one who taught her how to misbehave. 

“I didn’t have anything to do with this,” Baekhyun says, holding his hands up. 

“Before she met you, she was a very well-behaved child, I’ll have you know,” Junmyeon says. 

“Well, then the fault lies with you,” Baekhyun sniffs. 

“So it does,” Junmyeon admits. He grabs the girl, crushes her into a hug. “I’m still your father, no matter what. Nothing can change the fact that you were born of me, so when you need help, when you need someone to listen to _you_...,” and he pulls her back by the shoulders, stares deeply into her white eyes, “you come back home.” 

“Yes, Father,” she smiles. 

They bring her small selection of possessions to the hut that afternoon, and she is free to do as she pleases for the rest of the day. They walk by the river, the three of them, and she runs free, effortlessly shifting to her wolf. Junmyeon laughs, the happiest he’s sounded in a while, and he shifts too, running beside her. Baekhyun sits on the rock and waits for them, closing his eyes and listening close to the elated sounds of their barks and yips. 

They eat supper together, venison that’s been stewing with carrots and onions for hours on end. It settles in the stomach well, warm and delicious and tasting of home, and when they walk her to the hut that evening, it doesn’t really seem like goodbye. 

“We’ll see you in the morning,” Junmyeon says. “If you wake first, you can come to us.” 

“All right,” she says, hugging him close. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” Junmyeon stresses. 

The red curtain waves as she enters alone. Junmyeon breathes in and breathes out, staring at the white marks on the curtain, and for a moment, Baekhyun thinks he will follow behind her, checking in once more. 

However, Junmyeon always finds ways to surprise Baekhyun, and that evening is no different. 

He turns to Baekhyun, a weak smile on his face. He offers his hand to Baekhyun. “Shall we go?” 

Baekhyun takes what Junmyeon gives him, lacing their fingers together. 

The walk is quiet, but peaceful. Baekhyun smiles as their footsteps fall in time with each other. 

In the cabin, Baekhyun puts the water over the fire, and Junmyeon gets two cups from the cabinet. The tea is dried workberries and violets, something good for sleep. They drink the red tea before they retire to their nest. He holds Junmyeon in his arms, and the two of them look to Noeul’s nest, distinctly empty. 

“I know I’ve no need to miss her,” Junmyeon whispers, head on Baekhyun’s chest, “but I still miss her.” 

Baekhyun combs through Junmyeon’s hair with his fingers, nails lightly scratching against his scalp. “I know, Alpha.” 

Junmyeon turns, looks into Baekhyun’s eyes. “Will it get easier, do you think?” 

“With every passing moon,” Baekhyun says. 

Junmyeon turns back, shutting his eyes. “I hope you’re right.” 

“I always am.” 

Junmyeon snorts, but the rest of the evening is silent. The only sound is their breathing slowing to a steady, even rhythm. Baekhyun holds Junmyeon close, even in sleep, and by the time the morning comes, it is one little bit easier. Just as Baekhyun said.  
  


☽

They see her for every meal, and she does her studies on her own.

“They’ve got plenty of books for me to read,” she says. “Scrolls and things. I’ve learned quite a bit.” 

“Tell us,” Junmyeon says. “Weave us the story.” 

“This pack has quite a fascinating history,” Noeul says, and she turns to Baekhyun. “Did you know of the sweat?” 

“Everyone knows of the sweat,” Baekhyun says, rolling his eyes. 

“Some of us don’t,” Junmyeon says, and he glares at Baekhyun. 

“Sorry, sorry.” 

“It was so very long ago, they didn’t even record the written word,” Noeul says excitedly. “The stories were passed around the fire, generation to generation.” She looks down at the scroll, and it is written in a language so old it looks foreign to Baekhyun. “It was a fever, they think, some fever like the heat. It bleed wolves dry, and spread like dandelion seeds on the wind.” 

“Oh,” Junmyeon says, furrowing his brow. “This is dark.” 

“History is dark,” Noeul says primly. Junmyeon tilts his head, the corner of his lip turning up. “Now, they barely survived it. Their numbers were dwindling down to nothing, and the pack was sick and weak. This is where it gets incredibly interesting.” Baekhyun is about to interrupt because they’ve no need to talk about the Cradle Night so early in the day, especially with a child, but she surprises him as she’s taken to doing. “That’s when the first Listener was born.” 

“W-What?” 

“The Listener,” Noeul says. “The Listener asked the moon for help, prayed and begged, and when the moon told her what to do, the pack was saved.” Noeul rolls her scroll back up, fastens it with its leather tie. “The Listeners have a very long lineage of being incredibly important individuals.” 

“T-That I did know,” Baekhyun laughs. 

“Well, there’s plenty you don’t,” Noeul tells him. “But luckily for you, and for all the rest of the wolves too, I suppose, I’m here to help.” She looks up towards the moon window, smiling at the bright blue sky overhead before looking back between Junmyeon and Baekhyun. “Now, I’ve got to go collect some flowers before lunch time. Would either of you like to help?” 

That is how they spend their day, harvesting flowers in the open field, hanging them from the rafters of the hut. Baekhyun knows it’s just him being silly, but to him the scent that overwhelms more than the clove or the orange or the cinnamon is the smell of love.  
  


☽

Chanyeol’s heat takes him on his name day, just as the world breaks cold. It is good timing, Baekhyun thinks. No need for a fire.

He smiles to himself as he goes, basket full of goods, and when he knocks on the door, he has to wait several moments before anyone answers. 

Sehun walks out of the cabin, only a thin wrap of cotton around his waist. Baekhyun wrinkles his nose. He smells like sweat, sex, citrus and flowers. 

“He warned you,” Sehun smiles. 

“How is he?” 

Sehun shrugs. “Sleeping now. He’s exhausted.” Baekhyun twists his face up in a comical kind of disgust, and Sehun scoffs. “You asked. Like you were concerned.” 

“You know that I am,” Baekhyun says, “truly.” 

Sehun smiles with one side of his mouth. “I know.” He leans against the wall of the cabin, crossing his arms across his chest. “I know.” 

He shuts his eyes, and Baekhyun notes the shining lines of sweat on him, drawn along his muscles and his collarbones. The wind picks up, and he moans softly. 

“Can I do anything?” Baekhyun offers. “Water… o-or food?” 

Sehun opens one eye, observes him and his basket with a slanted expression, and then shuts it again, a smile splitting his face. 

“I prepared,” Sehun says. “But thank you.” 

They are quiet for a time, and Baekhyun leans back next to Sehun, crossing his arms. He breathes out. Breathes in. Wonders. 

“Do you ever miss it?” Baekhyun asks. 

Sehun opens his eyes, looks at him. “Miss what?” 

“When we were younger?” 

Sehun scoffs. “Why would I? I’m finally happy.” He unfolds his arms, stares off into the distance. “I was looking for something I couldn’t find. I had you constantly judging me over it.” 

“I only wanted what was _best_ for you,” Baekhyun says softly. 

“Then you must be happy it’s found me,” Sehun smiles wryly. 

“Overjoyed,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. 

It’s strange, seeing the youngest of them grow up like this. Able to take care of another. Find what makes him happy. Ever since the beginning, they were looking together. And now strangely, they’ve found it. What else is there to do or say? 

“You’re thinking,” Sehun says. “Never a good thing.” 

“Oh, shut up.” 

“What are you thinking about?” 

“The future,” Baekhyun says softly. 

“What about it?” 

“We’re getting older,” Baekhyun says. 

“Brilliant observation,” Sehun snorts. 

“You were the one who asked what I was thinking,” Baekhyun argues. “If you didn’t want to know—” 

“I want to know,” Sehun assures him, smiling. “I do.” 

“It’s just… everything’s changing. We’re… we’re moving on, and we’re growing up. We have our own lives now, and I feel… I f-feel,” Baekhyun stutters, voice sounding more and more frantic to his own ears the more he talks, “I feel scared.” 

“Scared of what?” 

Baekhyun looks to him, sees Sehun looking down at him with an expression Baekhyun doesn’t often see from him: concern. 

“L-Losing you both, I guess.” He shakes his head, realizing how stupid it sounds when he says it aloud. “I don’t… I don’t mean it like that, I only mean that—” 

He is soundly interrupted, Sehun crushing him into a hug.

“There isn’t any losing us,” Sehun says. “You must know that by now.” He pulls Baekhyun back by the shoulders, looks down at their wrists. “See that?” 

The bracelets from so many years ago, studded with unfinished metal. They’ve had to extend the leather braids a few times when they outgrew them, but Baekhyun’s never for a second thought about getting rid of it. It is what ties them together. 

“Yes, I see it,” Baekhyun answers. 

“Good,” Sehun says, and he knocks his head against Baekhyun’s. “Don’t forget it. No matter who comes into our lives, no matter what happens, it will always be the three of us.” He smiles, blinding, and Baekhyun feels himself smile back. “Remember that the next time you feel yourself thinking something foolish.” 

From inside the cabin, Baekhyun hears a soft moan. Sehun turns, and Baekhyun watches redness creep up the back of his neck. 

“I should go tend to him,” Sehun says, and he chases the redness away, hand on his nape. “Sorry.” 

“No, I… good luck,” Baekhyun says, and he frowns at how awkward it is. “Sorry.” 

Sehun laughs, punches Baekhyun lightly in the shoulder. 

“Come tomorrow,” Sehun says. “Maybe I’ll have you tag in, take care of him for a while. What do you say?” 

Baekhyun walks off without another word, and he is followed by Sehun’s laughter ringing through the night.  
  


☽

Minseok returns the following morning. Baekhyun doesn’t know it, and neither does Junmyeon, not until the three of them come to the cabin after midday’s past. Somehow, they look different, the three of them, the scents all melded and strange, and when Baekhyun looks to Sehun and Chanyeol’s wrists, he understands.

“Oh, moon,” he says. 

Chanyeol puts out his wrist proudly, shows them both the new scars. The bond scars. 

“H-How did you manage that?” Junmyeon asks, and he looks at Minseok. “Wouldn’t it only work with—” 

“One?” Minseok asks. “We didn’t know. Left it up to the moon to decide whether it was all right or not.” 

“And… and it worked?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Well, we’ve all bonded to the others, so yes,” Sehun says, and he hangs on Minseok’s neck like he refuses to let him go. “Obviously.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, but he pulls Sehun into a hug, and Chanyeol is quick to follow. He still smells vaguely of heat, but it doesn’t matter. Baekhyun is just happy for them. He can’t believe he was worried for even a moment that something so beautiful could tear them apart. He’ll never be so stupid again. 

“Congratulations,” he whispers, and the words are swallowed up by clothing and furs, but he can tell they make their way up to Minseok, Chanyeol, and Sehun by the way the arms around him tighten, by the way laughter leaks out through smiles. 

“The lady will want to see you,” Junmyeon says, and he cups Minseok’s cheek in his hand. “She… she will be so happy to see you again.” 

The five of them walk together, in pursuit of their sixth, and when they arrive before the hut, Minseok hesitates. 

“Go on,” Junmyeon encourages, and he himself parts the curtain so that Minseok can walk inside. 

The girl is sitting on her bed, cross-legged with a book in her lap. She is so deep in study, it appears, that she doesn’t look up even when the rest of them walk across the threshold. 

Junmyeon clears his throat, and she looks over sharply before smiling brightly. 

“You’ve returned,” she says. “And in good health.” 

“Yes,” Minseok says, a little bow of his head. “I’m happy to see you well.” 

“I’ve never been better,” she smiles.  
  


☽

Minseok kneels before the torches and the bonfire, a simple crown of white berries on his head. Chanyeol and Sehun stand beside him, flanking him, hands on his shoulders. He is anointed by the silvery blue oils, says the words _I do_ whenever he is asked to, and by the time he rises, he is the newest member of the pack.

The three of them hold hands as the final words are said, and the two omegas bring him to the feast together, laughing and smiling. 

It is grand, but it feels grander because they are all together, finally settled and finally whole. 

When the Listener walks to the head of the hall, no one calls for her. She knows her work now. Still, Baekhyun holds his breath, and Junmyeon tenses at his side as she bows her head. Every wolf follows her, and they listen to her little voice as it soars over them all, booming as she grows in confidence. 

“May the moon shine on you,” the lady finally says, smile beautiful and charming as she speaks. “May the moon shine on all of us.” 

There is an eruption of cheers, whooping yells, whistles, and Baekhyun finally breathes out, clapping just as ferociously as Junmyeon at his side. 

She sits among the leaders of the pack, the elders, and Junmyeon finds it difficult to keep his eyes off of her, but once she begins to laugh alongside them, the stress leaks out. 

“She is well,” Baekhyun says, and it is a reminder to himself just as it is to Junmyeon. 

“She is,” Junmyeon agrees. “She is.”  
  


☽

Winter comes harsh and cold each year, and the pack works hard in the weeks leading up to it so that they can rest easily, enjoy their time spent in front of the fires.

Baekhyun has more and more time off as there is much less to do in the winter. Most of his tending is through, and the winter vegetables are hardy enough to survive even the harshest clime. Junmyeon is usually out before the light of the morning, working with Chanyeol to repair a bridge over the river, so Baekhyun visits the Listener, and they break fast together most mornings. 

The Listener’s hut smells richly of spice, of orange blossom, of home, and each morning, the girl stretches as if she’s never woken so early before in her life. 

“Rise and shine, little lady,” Baekhyun smiles. 

“Where is the moon?” she whines. “Bring her back.” 

“It’s the sun’s turn, I’m afraid,” Baekhyun says, and he pulls back the furs until she curls into a little ball. “I’m frying eggs this morning.” 

Her eyes open, white and happy, and she sits up. “With the green peppers, please.” 

“Oh, you’re fussy, aren’t you?” 

Happily, he adds green peppers to the pan, and their sizzle is a glorious sound, one that makes the lady smile brightly in his direction. 

“You find it difficult to deny me things,” the Listener says. 

“Do I?” Baekhyun asks, cocking a brow as he stirs the contents of the pan. 

“The moon says so.” 

“And the moon never lies,” Baekhyun says, rolling his eyes. 

“That’s enough of that,” she scolds. “She is very nice, and you’re being rude.” 

“I know, I know.” He turns back to her, and she is still seated in bed, feet kicking idly as she hangs her legs off the bed. “Are you going to sit there and be served?” 

“I’m the Listener,” she says. “I’m very important.” 

“Make the tea, or you’ll break no fast.” 

Quickly, she throws a fur around her shoulders and hurries over to the fire, setting a kettle to boil as she sits across from him on one of the plush pillows. She smiles at him, and he hides his response, cracking the eggs into the pan until they begin to bubble and brown. 

Once breakfast is ready, he serves her under the moon window, and she yips as she digs in, bowing her head before she tucks in. 

“What are you doing today?” Baekhyun asks, and he spears a little square of fire-roasted pepper. 

“Going to play with some of the other puppies,” she says, slicing into the yolk of her egg until it spills out on her plate. “They’re running through the forest, and it’s been so long since I’ve gotten to run with them.” 

“A-Are they nice to you?” Baekhyun asks. “Are they pleasant?” 

“Very much so,” she smiles. “They think I control their destiny.” 

“And you, of course, tell them that that’s not how it works, don’t you?” Baekhyun asks, and when the hut goes exceptionally quiet, he asks again. “_Don’t you?_” 

“Fine, I will,” she says, rolling her eyes. “But they were all so proper around me, treating me very well.” 

“Because they think you’ll curse them!” Baekhyun laughs. “That’s a very bad thing to do, little lady.” 

“Oh, let me have some fun,” she scowls, and in that moment, she reminds him so very much of _his_ Listener. 

It steals the laugh from his mouth, and he sits there very quietly as she continues to eat. He observes her, tries to suss out if there’s something wrong, something lying under the surface. She smells happy, she smells fulfilled, but that’s not the whole story. He knows that. 

They eat breakfast in relative silence, and once the dishes are clean, she stands and stretches under the moon window, the cool light shining down on her hair, making it look blue-black. She is a very beautiful child, and not for the first time, he wonders if he pushed her towards the right destiny. 

“Do you ever feel lonely?” Baekhyun asks, and he looks at her until she looks at him. At that, he looks down. 

“Lonely?” She tilts her head to the side. “No, I don’t think so.” 

Baekhyun breathes out. “Well, that’s very good to hear.” 

“Were you worried about me?” she asks. “The moon says—” 

“Oh, don’t tell me what the moon says,” Baekhyun says. “Tell me what you say.” 

“Listening is my job,” she says. “I’m her helper.” 

“I know, I know. But surely, you… you still have your feelings,” Baekhyun says. “And those are no less true or important as they were before.” 

She smiles. “I know.” 

“A-And so you mustn’t be afraid to tell me,” Baekhyun explains. “If you’re hurt or scared or you want help.” 

“I am not afraid,” the Listener says, and Baekhyun reaches out, brushes her hair back, tucks a lock behind her ear. “The moon has told me many things.” 

“Such as?” Baekhyun needles. 

“My mother rests well knowing that you are here,” the girl says, and tears leap to Baekhyun’s eyes. “She could not sleep for many moons. She worried over me. Storms each day and night. But now… the sea has calmed. The waters carry her.” She bows her head to Baekhyun, and when she’s finished, her white eyes stare into his. “She wanted me to do that.” 

A cry begins to strangle him, makes all his words come out terribly soft. “A-All right.” 

Her face twists in concern, and he watches through watery eyes as she moves her hand before thinking better of the decision, folding her hands together in her lap. “Does that make you sad? I didn’t say it because I wanted to make you sad.” 

“I’m not sad,” Baekhyun says. “You have put my heart at ease, little lady.” 

“Oh,” she smiles. “That’s very good, then.” 

They drink in silence, and Baekhyun hesitates over his next question. She looks happy. She looks like every other child, except for she wears a crown, stares into the reflection of her tea with white eyes. 

“You would say if you weren’t happy, wouldn’t you?” Baekhyun asks. “If you felt the responsibility was too much to bear?” 

“I would tell you,” she agrees. “But I don’t feel that way. I feel happy. Like I found my place.” She smiles proudly. “If anything, I suppose everyone is quite jealous of me. I’m very special, of course.” 

Baekhyun barks out a laugh, and it makes her smile spread. “Yes, very special, indeed.”  
  


☽

A snow begins to fall the next evening, and Baekhyun takes the air on his own.

He stands, staring up at the sky, fractals of white falling onto him, and he thinks. Thinks. Thinks. 

Baekhyun looks to the crescent moon, another Cradle Night upon them, and he feels Junmyeon’s eyes on him. Baekhyun turns to meet him, says “Hello,” very softly before roping his arms around Junmyeon’s neck, mouth on the mark. 

“Hello,” Junmyeon says. “Are you well, omega? You smell—” 

“I don’t smell,” Baekhyun says. “You smell.” 

Junmyeon stifles a laugh. “I was going to say you smell of upset.” He holds Baekhyun to him by the back of his neck. “Is everything all right?” 

Baekhyun is slow to move back, slow to look in Junmyeon’s eyes. They are so close they share the same breath, sweet and smooth. 

“Is it terrible that it still hurts?” Baekhyun asks. “Even after all this time?” 

“No, it isn’t terrible,” Junmyeon says. “Even when you are totally at peace, memory can still pain you. Even when a broken bone has mended, it can still ache.”

Baekhyun lets himself crumple just a bit, resting his forehead on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

“You’ve nothing to apologize for,” Junmyeon tells him. 

They stand in each other’s embrace in the still of the night, and Baekhyun collects himself, collects his thoughts. 

“Did I ever tell you,” Baekhyun asks, “about when I visited the Listener?” 

“No,” Junmyeon says softly. “You haven’t.” 

“She told me of you.” Tears build in his eyes. “She spoke of you, of the child. Of Minseok too, I think. I saw your face in the flames. And once… once I had this future, I was so excited for it.” He looks into Junmyeon’s eyes, and he tastes salt on his lips. “I wanted to share these night with you.” 

“And now you are,” Junmyeon says. “Our first night was a Cradle Night, or have you forgotten?” 

“It isn’t the same,” Baekhyun says, shaking his head. 

“Does the moon not wane before us?” He takes Baekhyun’s jaw in a rough hand. “Is this but a dream?” 

“Quiet,” Baekhyun whispers, and Junmyeon brings him to a kiss under the sliver of silver moonlight.

Baekhyun breathes in Junmyeon, can’t yet breathe him out. Doesn’t think he ever could now. They are bonded. 

“You don’t look any happier,” Junmyeon says, and he presses a kiss to the thumping pulse point at Baekhyun’s neck. “Tell me. I’m usually very good at making you happy, and I do hate to fail.” 

Baekhyun snorts, holds Junmyeon in his arms until the laugh dies away, poison inside him. 

“I wanted to spend this night with you,” Baekhyun says softly, “with true meaning. For its true purpose.” 

“Is that the only meaning, only purpose? The creation of life?” Junmyeon asks gently. He brushes his knuckles against Baekhyun’s cheek, brushes a tear away. “Can’t the meaning and purpose be love and love alone? Is that so little?” 

“No. It isn’t. You know that it isn’t.” 

“Then let us spend this Cradle Night together,” Junmyeon says, slow and sweet. “And all the rest, too.” 

A funny sort of feeling blooms in Baekhyun’s stomach at the words, and he whimpers as it leaps through his body. Junmyeon laughs, presses a kiss to his lips. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Baekhyun says, and he moves his hand to clutch his stomach, the blistering heat that spreads across his abdomen taking him by surprise. “Ah, I—” 

“Oh,” Junmyeon says, and he noses along the column of Baekhyun’s throat, drawn in by Baekhyun’s scent cutting through the air. “_Oh._” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, swallowing thickly as he just barely manages to stay standing. The sudden weight in his chest is pulling him down, down. “Oh, I’m—_hurry_.” 

Baekhyun begins to pull Junmyeon back towards the cabin, but it is hard, Junmyeon’s heels dug into the soil. Baekhyun groans, brows furrowed. 

“I must ask, shall I—,” Junmyeon begins, but Baekhyun cuts him off with a furious kiss, both of Baekhyun’s hands clutching Junmyeon’s face. 

“You said this Cradle Night and all the rest,” Baekhyun says, and he whispers it against Junmyeon’s lips. “Did you mean it truly?” 

“Always.” 

“Then let us share the night,” Baekhyun says, and he leads Junmyeon back to the cabin, fingers laced together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god sorry this took another month,,,, i am the worst,,,, 
> 
> suffice it so stay, we are nearing the end of this story, and i hope that feels justified to you. i will wax poetical at the very end but..... The journey is nearly complete, i think. regardless, i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and im sorry it's like,,,,, Not the longest thing in the world. ldksjakljg 
> 
> hope you are having a great week, thanks for kicking it with me for a little while. 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	14. dust by the fireside

Before, Baekhyun could hardly remember the heat he suffered by the sea. It happened in a blur, so much sex that it all bled together. 

Now, deep in the fire, it is all he can think about. 

“I wanted you to be inside me,” Baekhyun says, and he wraps his arms around Junmyeon’s body, caging him in. “I wanted to call for you. I wanted you to take me then and there.” 

“Baekhyun, just—” 

“I can’t wait,” Baekhyun says, and the haze is beginning to take him, the spidering heat. “I want you so desperately.” 

Junmyeon breathes in deeply as though it will calm him, and Baekhyun is delighted when he slaps a hand over his mouth and his nose, pupils dilating as Baekhyun’s pheromones fill the air, as it clouds above them. 

“Can you smell it?” Baekhyun asks, and he pushes him back towards their nest, the nest that smells so deeply of them now that it is dizzying. “Can you smell the way I want you?” 

Junmyeon makes a wounded noise as Baekhyun pushes him down, and his arms come to encircle Baekhyun’s body as they fall together, as they hold each other closely. 

“Are your heats normally so… talkative?” 

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun says, and he leans down, presses a wet, sucking kiss to the mark on Junmyeon’s neck. “I’ve not had many, so I can’t be sure.” 

“How many, omega?” Junmyeon asks. “Tell me how many I’ve missed.” 

“Two,” Baekhyun says, and tears well in his eyes as he thinks about the first, freshly grown and forced to meet his fate on his own. 

Junmyeon realizes belatedly, and he surges up, his hand at the back of Baekhyun’s neck. He kisses him firmly, a grounding reminder of where they are, who they are, what they are to each other. That which came before… none of it matters now. They are healed, made new in the light of the other. 

“I love you,” Junmyeon says. “Do you remember that?” 

“Yes. I remember.”

“You’ll never forget, will you?” 

“No, I won’t,” Baekhyun promises. 

“Good,” Junmyeon says, and his hand on the back of Baekhyun’s neck slips down, moves to the small of his back. 

Flooded with emotion and heat, he moves himself closer to Junmyeon, impossibly closer, and he remembers Chanyeol’s words from so long ago. _Let it take you._ Baekhyun lets the heat take him then, lets it overwhelm and consume him as he lays there on his alpha, the bond mate that he has chosen. They’ve marked each other, and as he closes his eyes, he revels in that, the waves of fever that overtake him as he reminds himself. _This is forever. This is yours for as long as you live._

“You smell so good,” Junmyeon whispers, and he says it to Baekhyun’s throat, pressing a soft, dry kiss to the hollow as Baekhyun moves back, stares down at Junmyeon like he has finally laid down his prey. 

He hasn’t even given them the chance to take off their clothes, but Junmyeon seems content to let him do as he wishes, so Baekhyun takes that for all it’s worth. He kisses Junmyeon fiercely, moaning sharply into his mouth as he grinds himself into Junmyeon’s body. He wants to rub his scent all over Junmyeon, just another little mark, another little claim. He is not as generous as Junmyeon is. This is his. Junmyeon is _his_.

“Omega,” Junmyeon says, and he plays with the tie at Baekhyun’s shirt. “You’re so warm.” 

Baekhyun groans in frustration, straddling Junmyeon’s body as he frantically pulls himself of his clothes only to become aware of just how truly Junmyeon spoke. He is burning up, burning alive, and there is no time to waste. He all but rips his pants off before working on Junmyeon. On more than one occasion, Junmyeon reaches up to help, but Baekhyun slaps his hands away, his own hands fumbling with nervous, hot energy as he reveals more and more skin, a bounty of it to take stock of. 

Helpless little sounds fall out of his mouth as he kisses up and down Junmyeon’s body, sucking red bruises wherever he can manage. Junmyeon makes soft sounds, and Baekhyun works hard for them, eager for them. Wants to please and wants to be taken care of, yes, but this… this is more important, his brain tells him. _Stake your claim. Make it so._

He has no idea how long Junmyeon lets it go on, but he is stirred from a daze by the sound of Junmyeon’s voice. 

“You’ve already marked me, Omega,” Junmyeon moans, and they both stare down at his body, littered with red marks, covered in Baekhyun’s scent. “Are you happy now?” 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “No, I’m… I want you.” He frowns. “Please, I—”

“Take it,” Junmyeon says, and he moves Baekhyun with an arm around his waist, pressing their abdomens together. He reaches around Baekhyun’s body, fingertips playing through the wetness. “Go on.” 

Baekhyun moans as he gets his knees underneath him, straddling Junmyeon like he’s done it a million, a hundred million times before. He rocks his hips back, grinding absently against Junmyeon’s cock. Junmyeon’s body goes stiff, and he bites his lip. Baekhyun looks at him, looks at his face as he seats himself on Junmyeon’s cock, slipping in easily, no resistance. He is wet, open, ready, and he takes what he wants. 

Junmyeon’s hands come to settle on Baekhyun’s hips, but Baekhyun takes them in his, tangles them together. He holds their hands between them, braces himself and uses it to get leverage, pushing himself up and down, raising himself up and down, fucking himself up and down without any words. They’ve no need for them. 

He throws his head back, feeling each droplet of sweat bead along the nape of his neck, dancing its way down his body. He lets go of Junmyeon’s hands, allows Junmyeon to cradle him by the hips as he gathers up his hair from where it lays wet along his neck. Baekhyun twists it up, holds it against his head as he leans back on one hand, bringing his hips down hard, over and over again. 

It’s never felt so good, never felt so _right_, and he can’t hold himself back, can’t drag himself back from the edge once he steps to it. He moans sharply, squeezes his eyes shut tightly as he comes, tumbling in the waves of heat. The fever seizes him, grips him tightly, guides him through it, and before the first has even had a chance to settle in his blood, the second chases him down, body crushed against a hard wall of fire. 

Baekhyun whines as he continues to fuck himself, collapsing himself onto Junmyeon’s chest, moaning in Junmyeon’s ear as he works for a third. 

“S-Slow down,” Junmyeon says, his voice already splitting in two as Baekhyun decimates them both, tears them down to nothing, even less than nothing. “Y-You should rest.” 

For some reason, that challenge inflames him, energizes him. Baekhyun doesn’t want to rest. He wants something much better than that. 

“I’m so hot,” Baekhyun says, and his hair falls down around his shoulders, wet with sweat. “I need you.” 

“I’m here,” Junmyeon says, voice strangled as he tries to keep a semblance of composure. He brushes the hair that falls into Baekhyun’s face away, tucks a lock of it behind Baekhyun’s ear as he holds him by the face. “I’m always here.” 

That’s exactly the _opposite_ of what Baekhyun wants, though. This is no time for romance and sweet words. No time for waiting, for savoring the moment. This is the antithesis of all that. This is desperation and need. This is passion, unadulterated and unfurled. He wants Junmyeon shivering. He wants Junmyeon cursing as he moans. He wants Junmyeon knotting him, filling him up. He wants Junmyeon over and over and over again. More times than he can count. 

“Fill me,” Baekhyun says. “Breed me, Alpha.” 

Junmyeon gasps for breath like he can’t get clean air, smoke filling his lungs. Baekhyun pounces on the opportunity as it presents itself. He worsens the situation for Junmyeon, pushes out his pheromones with as much ferocity as he can manage. He fucks himself slowly, torturously as his fingers play through his own come, striping Junmyeon’s stomach. 

Perhaps it is a bit much, he thinks, head hazy but clear enough to think of terrible ways to torture the alpha underneath him. 

“I c-can’t,” Junmyeon stutters, and Baekhyun tenses, even Junmyeon’s voice enough to send him into another spinning tumult. 

“Come,” Baekhyun moans. “Please, Alpha.” 

Junmyeon looks helpless beneath him, body twisting up in pleasure, going rigid and hard as he spills inside Baekhyun’s body on command. He groans, satisfied in a deep, base way. 

It feels even better than he imagined so long ago, on his own by the coast. 

Junmyeon growls as he pulls Baekhyun to him, sucking a kiss to his neck. “Now, rest.” 

Baekhyun smiles into the crook of Junmyeon’s neck. It’s going to be fun. Very fun, he thinks.  
  


☾

When he wakes, he is dripping onto the furs. Baekhyun blinks, bleary-eyed, and he stares at Junmyeon. Junmyeon stares back, eyes wide, pupils dilated and black.

“How long were you going to let me sleep?” Baekhyun asks, and he finds his throat dry, cracking. 

“As long as you liked,” Junmyeon answers. “As long as you cared to.” 

Baekhyun makes a sound of discontent as he pulls Junmyeon on top of him, drags him into a blistering kiss. He wets his mouth with Junmyeon’s, takes Junmyeon into the cradle of his body, arms and legs wrapped around him as they entangle themselves in a knot too complicated to be untwisted, something permanent and deafening. 

“You have to fuck me now,” Baekhyun whispers. “We’ve lost so much time.” 

“We’ve nothing but time,” Junmyeon whispers back. “There isn’t any rush.” 

“Heats are all about the _rush_.” He snakes an arm between their bodies, grabs Junmyeon’s cock in his hand. “Were you watching me sleep? Thinking about what we would do when I woke?” 

“Yes,” Junmyeon admits, mouth hanging open as he moans. 

“Did you want to take me? Did I smell good?” Baekhyun whispers, and he tilts his head to the side, lets a swell of pheromones drift into the open air. “Do I smell like heat and sex?” 

“Yes.” 

“Like flowers?” 

“No,” Junmyeon says, and he kisses down Baekhyun’s face, buries his nose at the hollow of Baekhyun’s throat. “You smell like me. Like you belong to me.” 

Baekhyun whines at the words, something about it unexpected and cruel. Does Junmyeon know how terribly he needs that? Does he realize how special, how wonderful it sounds? He clings to Junmyeon, their bodies stuck, and when Baekhyun starts trying to guide Junmyeon inside him, Junmyeon laughs as he attempts to pull back from the embrace. 

“I’ll do it,” Junmyeon says, “since you’re so needy.” 

Baekhyun furrows his brow even as he feels a whimper creeping up the back of his throat, but it dies when Junmyeon runs the head of his cock through the slick at Baekhyun’s hole, dripping down onto his thighs. 

“J-Jun—” 

“You’re so wet, pup,” Junmyeon says, and it makes Baekhyun shudder, pulsing out another wave of heat. “Ah. Look at that.” He uses his fingers to push inside, and he curls them up, making Baekhyun’s legs fall uselessly to the nest of furs. “Look at you.” 

“Please fuck me,” Baekhyun says, words coming out all stuttering and broken with need. “Please, I—” 

“I know,” Junmyeon says, and he pets inside Baekhyun’s body, another little thrill of trembling desire coursing through Baekhyun like the current of the river, waves in the ocean. “I’ll take care of you.” 

Baekhyun all but growls, the sound of lust rumbling through his chest as he sucks in another breath, the heat coursing through him fast and hard. 

“Omega,” Junmyeon says, “relax.” 

“Alpha,” Baekhyun says, and he grits his teeth, “I can’t.” 

“You must. It is a command.” 

“Have I ever listened to your commands?” 

Junmyeon laughs, and torturously, he twists his fingers, brushing the pads of his fingertips against where it feels so good it hurts. Baekhyun shakes, moans. 

“No,” Junmyeon says, kissing him hard, “but there’s always hope, isn’t there?” 

“Fuck me,” Baekhyun says. “Junmyeon, fuck me.” 

“Be patient.” 

“I’m ready.” 

“Am I?” 

Baekhyun grins. “You better be.” 

Junmyeon shakes his head, withdraws his touch before sliding the head of his cock through the wetness of Baekhyun’s thighs. He pushes in slowly, much too slowly, and it drives the breath from Baekhyun’s lungs. Junmyeon knows exactly what he’s doing as he moves into Baekhyun, joins them in the most delicious embrace, their bodies tight. 

“My love,” Junmyeon whispers, “you are the love of my life.” 

Baekhyun’s heart tenses in his chest as he moves to wrap his legs around Junmyeon’s body, ankles hooked around the small of Junmyeon’s back. He absently rocks against Junmyeon, desperate, even as Junmyeon holds himself excruciatingly still. 

“You’re being very naughty,” Junmyeon says. 

“That’s what heats are for,” Baekhyun tells him. “Being naughty.” 

“And what am I to do?” Junmyeon whispers, rocking his hips out and back in, so fucking slow. “Oblige you?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun whines. “Please.” 

“Rewarding you will make you more inclined to repeat the behavior,” Junmyeon says, and he leans in, kisses Baekhyun’s cheek, down his neck. 

“Won’t the reward feel so good?” Baekhyun asks. “Won’t it be a reward for the both of us?” 

“You’re so tempting,” Junmyeon says. 

“Indulge me,” Baekhyun says. “Will you let me die in this heat?” 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, thrusts his hips hard. Baekhyun groans in satisfaction, biting his lip. 

“You are cruel and lovely,” Junmyeon whispers, “and I will give you whatever you desire for however long it takes.” 

Baekhyun takes Junmyeon in, in, in, and he shuts his eyes so tightly that he can see the stars above them, the stars and the moon dancing in black, white, and blue. Junmyeon works his hips, makes Baekhyun cry and curse as the arousal storms hot and wet inside him. 

He comes easily, torturously easily when Junmyeon touches him, rubs at his chest. He is so sensitive, nerves lit on fire and screaming with pleasure as Junmyeon fucks him, fucks him into the nest of blankets that smell like the two of them, like their bodies dancing together. He whimpers and whines through it, wave after wave crashing over him. 

He puts his hands in Junmyeon’s hair, looks into Junmyeon’s eyes. 

“K-Knot me,” Baekhyun says. “Please, I—”

“Not yet,” Junmyeon says. “Not until it’s time to sleep.” 

“There’s no telling when that will be,” Baekhyun says, pulling Junmyeon’s hair. “Do it, Alpha.” 

Junmyeon groans as he pushes inside Baekhyun, fast and unrelenting, and it is exactly what he needs, exactly what he’s been craving. It feels like they are driving towards the same blessed end, a night in the stars, and Baekhyun moans as Junmyeon takes him apart, puts him right back together. When he feels the knot pressing against him, he bears down onto it, whimpering as it slides in, as they lock together. 

"Come for me," Baekhyun moans. "Please. I need it. I need you to fill me." 

Junmyeon bites his lip as Baekhyun rips it out of him, the knot keeping him from withdrawing to thrust. He makes do, fucking in and in as he comes, as he collapses onto Baekhyun's body, the orgasm draining him of energy. 

It is a while before Junmyeon readjusts them, before they lie on their sides to face one another. It feels comforting, feels like any other day for a moment or two, and even though Baekhyun knows it isn't true, it's nice to pretend. 

Junmyeon smiles at him, and Baekhyun stares back, brushing his hair out of his face. 

“What?” 

“You called for me.” 

“What?” Baekhyun asks, furrowing his brow. “What do you mean?” 

“During your heat at… in the south, you did call for me,” Junmyeon says, and they are barely breathing air now, just drawing in each other, exhaling with love and the scent of togetherness, of bonding, of _here and now_. “On the second day, I came to you. I couldn’t stand to be apart from you. Chanyeol watched me. Wouldn’t leave your side, of course, and who could blame him for that?” 

“Me,” Baekhyun says. “I can blame him.” 

A laugh shocks its way out of Junmyeon, and the rumble in his chest is pleasant. “No. No, you wouldn’t have wanted it like that.” He pets his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, untangles some of the knots. “Made of fire, perhaps, untamable, but—” 

Baekhyun leans up, a hand on Junmyeon’s chest. “But what?” 

“But we complete each other,” Junmyeon says softly. “And now that we’re complete… it would not have been the same if we’d changed anything. Not so sweet.” 

Baekhyun rests his head on Junmyeon’s arm as it cradles him, pressing a kiss to his pectoral. “Tell me what you heard me say.” 

Junmyeon laughs softly. “It nearly killed me, I think.” 

“You, so pure and right?” 

“I’m only a man,” Junmyeon says, and he pulls his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, nails against Baekhyun’s scalp. “You were certainly a challenge.” 

“And now?” Baekhyun moves back, head on Junmyeon’s forearm so that he can look into his eyes. “Do you still find me… _challenging_?” 

“Often,” Junmyeon smiles. “All the best things are challenges.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “You _would_ say something like that.” 

“Because I’ve found it to be true,” Junmyeon says. “The greatest struggles of my life have brought me to the best, most wonderful things.” He leans in, kisses Baekhyun on the forehead. “Such as yourself.” 

“Where has the romance gone?” Baekhyun asks. “Where are the sweet words?” 

“This is romance. These _are_ sweet words.” 

“I want different ones,” Baekhyun says. 

“Such a challenge,” Junmyeon smiles. “I suppose I’ll have to keep you.” 

“I suppose you will.” 

“Rest now,” Junmyeon commands. “I imagine you’ll be up in another couple hours to use me again.” 

“_Use you_,” Baekhyun snorts. “As though I’m so greedy.” Junmyeon stares at him. “Fine. I understand.” 

Junmyeon smiles at him, and Baekhyun finds himself going hazy as he stares at him. He must be deep within the heat now, because even a smile, even a kiss is enough to send him deep into a swirling wave of arousal.  
  


☾

After he’s momentarily satisfied, wrung dry like a rag, Junmyeon feeds him, fruit drizzled with honey, bread spread with butter. The tea is bright, lemon and orange peels waking him from the stupor.

“Feeling better?” Junmyeon asks. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “Thank you. I was beginning to…” 

“Get lost in it?” 

“Yes.” 

“I believe that’s the point,” Junmyeon says, and he holds a slice of apple up to Baekhyun’s mouth for him to eat. 

Baekhyun eats when he is fed, his body already a bit weak with exertion, but he sighs out, happy and tired. They eat in relative silence, but Baekhyun curls into Junmyeon’s space, head on his shoulder. 

“Do you feel it breaking?” Junmyeon asks. 

“No,” Baekhyun says. “It’s… It has not yet begun to break.” He looks up at Junmyeon, frowning. “How long has it been?” 

“Are you that out of it, my love?” Junmyeon asks, a hint of a smile on his face. “It’s only been a few hours.” 

“Feels like…” 

“Longer?” Baekhyun nods. Junmyeon nods down at the food. “Eat. We’ll sleep after this.” 

“Sleep sounds wonderful,” Baekhyun agrees. “But…” 

“Yes, I remember what I said,” Junmyeon smiles. “And you’ll get it if you’re good. If you eat.” 

Baekhyun finds himself energized by the promise of being filled, and he hurriedly eats the rest of what’s left on his plate, making Junmyeon laugh. They tumble into their bed of furs a few moments later, hungrier for each other than they’ve ever been for food.  
  


☾

He is sweating, drenched in sweat, and the fever rises within him as he works his hips. He doesn’t have any idea how long they’ve been here like this, how long he’s had Junmyeon underneath him, arms stretched wide, hands tangled in the furs like he’s hanging on for dear life. It is a beautiful sight, the way Junmyeon bites his lips until they are red and raw, the way he desperately tries to cling to control.

It only makes Baekhyun want to fuck him harder, screw himself down on Junmyeon’s cock with more fervor and passion. He obeys the base command from the pit of his stomach, leans back on his hand so he can slam his body down more fiercely than ever before. Has it ever felt like this? Has he ever felt so fucking _desperate_? He moans as he feels himself leak at the thought. 

_His alpha beneath him. His alpha. Sweat and salt._

“Omega,” Junmyeon whines uselessly. “Omega, please.” 

“I’m not done with you,” Baekhyun says. “Not yet. Don’t come. Don’t come yet.” 

“Y-You are so tight,” Junmyeon whimpers. “You intend to kill me.” 

“I couldn’t ever kill you. Who would I fuck if I killed you?” 

Junmyeon groans, tightens his hands in the furs. “You’re not funny.” 

“I’m not trying to be funny,” Baekhyun says. “I want your knot. I want your knot to split me open. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk.” 

“_Baekhyun_,” Junmyeon whispers harshly, like his name is a cursed word. “Baekhyun, I’m—” 

“Don’t come,” Baekhyun begs, and he leans forward, gets his feet underneath him so he can bounce harder on Junmyeon’s cock, his orgasm building in his body, storms of heat within him. “Don’t come. Alpha, don’t come yet.” 

Junmyeon bites his lip so hard that he bleeds as he tries to hold off his own orgasm, watching as Baekhyun pushes himself over the edge, again, again. Baekhyun shakes and moans, eyes blurry as he throws his head back, bearing his neck. He feels the sweat pour down his body as he spills out, scent thick in the air like their mutual arousal. 

He still feels dizzy by the time his orgasm wanes, and he looks down at Junmyeon, mouth streaked with blood. It makes Baekhyun hungry to taste, so he takes his thumb, rubs it along the dots of blood, and brings it to his mouth to taste. It immediately takes him back to their bonding, the magic of the ties that bind them. 

“You are trying to kill me,” Junmyeon says weakly. “I was only guessing before, but now, I am convinced.” 

Baekhyun smiles as he lays his body down onto Junmyeon’s, chest to chest, slick with Baekhyun’s come. He kisses Junmyeon sweetly, moans softly into Junmyeon’s mouth. 

“Will you knot me now?” Baekhyun asks, lips moving against Junmyeon’s. “I want it, Alpha.” 

Junmyeon whines as he takes Baekhyun in his arms, flipping Baekhyun onto his back. Baekhyun groans in satisfaction, caging Junmyeon in with his legs. 

“You’re torture,” Junmyeon says, and he gets onto his knees between Baekhyun’s legs, sliding his cock in and out slowly. “Now, I think I’ll torture you for a while.” 

“Isn’t torture if I like it,” Baekhyun moans. “It is a _reward_.” 

Junmyeon squeezes his eyes shut tight, hands holding Baekhyun’s hips so tightly that his fingers will probably bruise him. 

“Torture,” Junmyeon whispers reverently. “Omega, if I survive this, it will be a miracle.”  
  


☾

Baekhyun feels Junmyeon’s cock against his ass in the middle of the night. He feels like he barely slept, so dizzy and useless with heat that he can barely breathe. Junmyeon’s arm thrown carelessly over his stomach, Baekhyun holds onto him, pushes back to rub himself against the pressure.

Junmyeon moans softly in his sleep, and Baekhyun feels terrible for needing him again. How many times has it been? A dozen? More? He isn’t even sure how many days it’s been. Junmyeon makes sure to feed him, wash him, fuck him the way he needs, and Baekhyun has rare moments of clarity where he can see through the red, moments where he can think about anything other than sex. 

The moments never last long, but it is a reminder of what he comes back to when the fever breaks. 

Baekhyun decides to let Junmyeon sleep, works a hand between his legs instead. His cock rises with the attention as he plays at his slick hole, still dripping with Junmyeon. Baekhyun groans as softly as he can manage as he pushes a finger inside himself, clenching around it as he desperately tries to keep quiet. 

He lifts his leg so he can slide another finger in, push and angle his touch deeper to where it feels best. He bites his lip across a terrible moan, surprised when little shockwaves of pleasure ripple along his skin. The fever grips him tightly in that moment, and he clenches down harder onto his fingers in response, feels himself leaking. It is a wondrous lust, the kind that makes him forget self-consciousness, forget embarrassment and shame, forget everything besides the way it feels. 

_Good, but not enough_, he thinks. _Not enough. Not enough._

He thrusts his fingers inside himself, listening to the wet sounds he tries to chase the orgasm that eludes him. He is wanton, eager, desperate, and still, the high seems further and further away from him the harder he tries, the harder he fucks himself. He whimpers and whines as he lies there. He tries to think of Junmyeon. Junmyeon’s cock. Junmyeon’s knot inside him. Junmyeon over him. Junmyeon looking into his eyes. 

He feels shifting beside him, and even the feeling of Junmyeon’s arm tightening around his stomach nearly makes him come. 

“What are you doing?” Junmyeon asks sleepily. 

“Nothing,” Baekhyun says. 

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” Baekhyun groans, flops onto his back as Junmyeon climbs over him. “What were you doing?” 

“Trying not to wake you,” Baekhyun says, tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” 

Junmyeon is exhausted, Baekhyun can tell from his gaze, but still, he leans down, presses an open-mouthed kiss to the hollow of Baekhyun’s throat. 

“I’m here to help,” Junmyeon says, voice scratchy with sleep as he slides his hand down to meet Baekhyun’s, as he takes Baekhyun by the wrist. “Can I help?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun sobs. “Yes, please.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I can’t… not without—” 

“I’m here,” Junmyeon says. “I’m always gonna be here.” 

He pushes inside, slips in with little resistance, and it feels like home. Junmyeon thrusts his hips slowly, and Baekhyun cages him in with his legs. He comes not a moment later, eyes squeezed shut, arms looped around Junmyeon’s neck. He clings, clenches, body strung tight as Junmyeon drags him through it. 

“Good?” Junmyeon whispers, nosing against the side of Baekhyun’s neck. “Did it feel good?” 

“One more,” Baekhyun says wantonly. “Just one more, and then I’ll go back to sleep.” 

Junmyeon gets up onto his knees, breathes out as he withdraws himself suddenly, a hand wrapped around the base of his cock. He groans, squeezing hard before he pushes back in, making Baekhyun tumble back to the edge of orgasm once more.  
  


☾

Junmyeon has Baekhyun’s leg over his shoulder, thrusting so efficiently. He’s got his eyes closed, trying not to knot, and Baekhyun loves him for that. He’s been so accommodating, so lovely, and still, it’s not enough sometimes. Baekhyun feels like a prissy little cat, but he can’t help it. It’s the _heat_.

“My leg hurts,” Baekhyun says, frowning. “This angle is wrong.” 

“Okay,” Junmyeon huffs, and he lowers Baekhyun’s leg, a hand on his hip. “How do you want it?” 

“Behind,” Baekhyun says, and he flips over in the nest, burying his face in the pillow before he reaches behind with both hands to spread himself open. “Here.” 

“M-Moon, I don’t need the help to find where to put it,” Junmyeon curses, and he slides back in, deep and endless. “Is that better?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun groans, deep and satisfied. “Fuck me, Alpha. Knot me and come inside me.” 

“I swear, you—” 

But he never finishes his sentence, just takes Baekhyun by the hips, and thrusts in hard. Baekhyun would feel bad, but he can’t work up the energy. It’s the heat.  
  


☾

Baekhyun doesn’t even know how long it’s been. He knows that he’s asked about the lady at least once or twice, distantly concerned about leaving her on her own for so long, but Junmyeon is good about reassuring him, making him feel like everything is taken care of. The only thing they need to focus on, Junmyeon tells him, is breaking the heat.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Junmyeon says, and he swallows a giant gulp of water as they try to keep their energy up. “I’m dehydrated.” 

“_You’re_ dehydrated?” 

“I told you to drink earlier,” Junmyeon says. “Don’t blame me.” 

“You’d just _knotted_ me,” Baekhyun says. “I was sort of dazed at the moment.” 

“Dazed or not, when your alpha tells you to do something, you should do it.” 

“You sound like an _elder_,” Baekhyun accuses. 

“Oh, enough. There’s a reason we _prepare_ for a heat, there’s a reason I’m feeding you and washing you!” Junmyeon says. “Because in this case, I know best!” 

“You think you always know best.” 

“Well, yes, but that’s because I’m right.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, steals the cup from Junmyeon’s hand and opens his throat. The water pours down cool and sweet, and when he’s finished, he sets it down on the table, wipes at his mouth. Junmyeon stares at him blankly. 

“What?” Baekhyun asks, and then, pouting, “It’s my _heat_.” 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, but he gathers Baekhyun into a sticky, warm hug. 

“How much longer, do you think?” Junmyeon asks. 

“There’s no way of knowing these things,” Baekhyun says. “Just give yourself up to the moon.” 

“This is a weirdly philosophical moment in the middle of a heat.” 

“I’m very smart,” Baekhyun says before reaching around to pat Junmyeon on the butt. “Get back to the nest.”  
  


☾

On the fifth day, Baekhyun begins to feel exhausted. He tells Junmyeon so as they finish up their light meal, little more than fruit and tea.

“_Beginning_ to feel exhausted?” Junmyeon says, dripping sweat that smells like frustration, and he reaches out to smack Baekhyun. “How dare you?” 

“Am I too much, then?” Baekhyun asks. “I could go and find someone else to fill your ro—” 

Baekhyun doesn’t get the chance to fill the threat, not with Junmyeon kissing him, pulling him back to the furs that reek of the two of them now. 

They collide, again and again, constellations in the sky, climbing rung after rung. They will meet her this week, he thinks, and then they will climb back down together. They will touch the heavens, and they will taste stars.  
  


☾

The fever breaks on the seventh day, and it feels like breaking through the surface of the water, gasping for air. He shudders out a beleaguered breath as they fall down next to each other, happy, relieved, _tired_. He is confident that neither of them can move which suits him just fine. He does love to snuggle.

“I despise you,” Junmyeon says even as he opens his arms to let Baekhyun settle into the crook of his body. “I never want to see you again, not so long as I live.” 

“You were serviceable,” Baekhyun grades thoughtfully. “I will spend the rest of my heats with you.” 

Junmyeon smiles at him, reaches out to cup Baekhyun’s face in his palm. “I love you.” 

“And I you.”

He uses the last of his strength to kiss Junmyeon softly. It sates him totally, and he drifts off to sleep.  
  


☾

At the next dawn, the trio comes to them, breakfast in tow.

“We figured you wouldn’t want to move much,” Minseok says, looking between the two of them with a little smile. “So…” 

He raises the little basket, and Sehun and Chanyeol smile lewdly. Baekhyun rolls his eyes. 

“I should check on… on the Listener,” Junmyeon says, and he kisses Baekhyun on the cheek. 

“I’ll go with you,” Baekhyun says. 

“Stay,” Junmyeon smiles. “Entertain them. I’m sure they’ve missed you.” 

“Dearly,” Sehun deadpans, but Baekhyun reaches out, smacks him. “I meant it! We did.” 

“Be back soon,” Junmyeon says, giving them a little wave before he heads out for the first fresh air in what probably feels like forever. 

Minseok sets the table, lays out all the food, and they sit together, talking aimlessly. Baekhyun attempts to participate in the conversation, but he’s still feeling the after effects of such an extended heat, so he feels content to let them carry it. Over the course of the meal, however, it occurs to Baekhyun that the three of them speak as if they’ve got a secret, something to be carefully hidden, and that is just not acceptable to Baekhyun. 

“Why are you looking at us like that?” Sehun asks, and he pops a berry into his mouth. 

“Yeah, you haven’t seen us in days, and you’re glaring,” Chanyeol says, gesturing with his fork. “People will get the wrong idea about you, you know.” 

“Or maybe it’s the very _correct_ idea,” Minseok comments. “Maybe this is deliberate.” 

“He’s trying to drive people away?” Chanyeol asks. “He doesn’t think himself worthy of love?” 

“Oh, that’s so _tragic_,” Sehun says, furrowing his brow. He reaches out, holds Baekhyun by the shoulder until Baekhyun slaps his hand away. “Look, already we see the effects… he rejects physical intimacy so tactlessly.” 

“Baekhyun, we’re here for you through good times and bad,” Chanyeol simpers. “You must know that we will always love you, even in the darkest hours when you do not love yourself.” 

Baekhyun groans loudly.

“All right, all right,” Minseok smiles. “We’ve had our fun.” He tilts his head to the side cutely, and Baekhyun hates him. “What’s the trouble?” 

“No trouble,” Baekhyun says. 

“You’re attempting to assassinate the table,” Minseok says, and he looks down to where Baekhyun is rhythmically stabbing his knife into a swirling knot in the wood. “Now, I’m no expert on the matter, but I think the deer is already downed.” 

“Besides, it’s _my_ handiwork,” Chanyeol says, rubbing the table, “and I’d like to see it live a long and happy life.” 

Baekhyun picks up his knife from the wood, gestures with the pointy end. “What aren’t you telling me?” 

“W-What?” Sehun asks. 

“What aren’t you telling me? I can always tell when there’s a secret I’m not privy to, and I don’t like the feeling.” 

Minseok looks between the two of them, between Sehun and Chanyeol, and if he wasn’t sure before, he is now. They’re hiding something from him, and there’s nothing he hates worse than that. 

“Out with it,” Baekhyun says, and he reels back his foot under the table, poised to strike. “Otherwise, I’ll start kicking.” 

“We spoke to the Listener,” Chanyeol says, and curiously, he looks very shy. “During your heat.” 

“What, the three of you?” Baekhyun asks, and he searches their expressions, suddenly very far away and distant. “For what purpose?” 

“She called on us,” Sehun says.

“Why, then?” 

“She wanted to speak to us,” Sehun answers. Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “She wants to speak to you too.” 

“Well, surely I will see her soon,” Baekhyun says, furrowing his brow. 

“It’s more important than that,” Chanyeol says. “Much more important. It’s not a want. It’s a need.” 

“What would she _need_ to speak to me for?” 

“It is the moon,” Minseok answers softly. “She is singing for you as she sang for us.” 

Fear grips Baekhyun by the throat, claws in his neck, making bloody bruises that could make you forget about the bond mark. 

“I-I already heard my song,” Baekhyun says. “W-We all did, when we were young.” 

“Perhaps it is the same song,” Minseok says. “Only a different verse.” 

Baekhyun swallows thickly, looks down at his hands. He tries to forget the fear. Nothing could come between them now. He’s got so many to aid him. He’s got what he always wanted, never knew… a family. True and kind. Nothing could take that from him, not even the moon. 

“All right, then. I suppose I’ll see her this evening.” 

“We’ll come with you,” Minseok says. “To support you.” 

“Junmyeon will be there,” Baekhyun says simply. 

“He… well, this is part of the issue,” Chanyeol says, waffling about. 

“What is it?” Baekhyun asks. 

“He isn’t allowed to go,” Sehun says, and Baekhyun’s stomach falls into the earth. 

“Why not? The… The three of you went together.” 

“On the advice of the Listener,” Sehun says. “She wants to see you alone.” 

Baekhyun closes his eyes. It is nothing to fear. He has nothing to fear now. All is well. All is well. He knows her, the little lady, and he knew the lady who came before her. No harm shall befall him. All is well. 

All is well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wah, sorry it took so long to get this one out (that's becoming a recurring theme here, lmao sorry about that!) i was on vacation for a bit, and i took that vacation from writing too! but now i am back with a vengeance and i am here to say: this story will be completed by the end of march. you see, once i put a goal in my head, i am incapable of letting myself fall short of that goal, so rest assured, this story will be finished by the end of march. two chapters left. get ur towels ready lmao 
> 
> anyway, sorry this was mostly smut and also sorry if bbh is a manic pixie dream girl. in my defense, that is exactly how he acts in real life, just with less personal hygiene and more gaming involved. sometimes that's just how the cookie falls apart into dust. still, i hope you enjoyed. its especially challenging to write this story now bc im so close to the end and i just want it to be satisfying to you, my reader! alas, we persevere. 
> 
> thanks for reading. have a wonderful week. 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	15. minerals

Junmyeon wants to go with him, and Baekhyun has to tell him to stay.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Junmyeon says. “Whatever she needs to tell you, she can certainly tell me too.” 

“They were very specific,” Baekhyun says. “Just me. You’re not supposed to be there.” 

“What will it matter in the long run anyhow? You’re just going to come home and immediately tell me. Won’t it save us time and emotional strife if I’m there in the room?” 

“Why are you making me tell you no?” 

“Because I want you to tell me yes,” Junmyeon says. 

“But I have to say no,” Baekhyun says, “even when I don’t want to.” 

Junmyeon sighs as he pulls Baekhyun into his arms, as he breathes in deeply, nose against Baekhyun’s neck. 

“You are frightened.” 

“Yes, you’re very observant,” Baekhyun smiles, and he clings to Junmyeon as if he's lost in the darkness, as if Junmyeon is the last light in the sky. 

“Whatever it may be, whatever the moon might sing,” Junmyeon whispers, “we are strong. Joy is double when shared, sorrow is half when shared.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“Remember, then,” Junmyeon says. “You always come back to me, and you will always have me.” 

“I know,” Baekhyun says, and it’s true. He knows. 

Still, it feels good to hear the words.  
  


☾

He wishes he could hold his father’s hand.

His footsteps are loud in his ears as he walks to the Listener’s hut that evening, and when he parts the red curtain, he very nearly expects to see his Listener there, white hair and white eyes, small and frail like a little bird. 

He pulls it aside, steps in, and he is floored by the way the scent of the smoking herbs, the flowers, the citrus… it transports him back to that moment. The fear in his mouth. The way he was so scared of her. _There was nothing to be scared of then,_ he tells himself, _and there’s nothing to be scared of now._

“Hello,” she says. “I’ve missed you.” 

The terror falls away easily as she throws her hair back over her shoulder, a mane of wild waves. In so many ways, she is still just a child, _his_ child, a girl he loves. Cherishes with all his heart. 

“I’ve missed you more, little lady,” Baekhyun says, and he sees the purple pillow laid for him, sitting across the fire from her. “H-Have you been well?” 

“Bored, mostly,” she says. “Father wouldn’t let me play in the river unless he was there.” 

“You know how he is,” Baekhyun says, and he folds his legs up as he adjusts himself next to the fire, the heat of it momentarily overwhelming. “Quite overprotective.” 

“Will it change?” she asks. “Once I’m older?” 

“Almost certainly not,” Baekhyun smiles. 

She frowns deeply. “Can’t I _dream_?” 

Baekhyun laughs, and it’s easy to forget that he isn’t here for some cheerful reunion. He is here for another moon song, another reading, another glimpse into the stars. 

“Don’t worry,” the little lady says, smiling at him with her white eyes. “It’s not bad.” 

“And you know that for certain?” Baekhyun asks, his throat going tight as she stares at him. 

“I know,” the Listener says, and she tilts her chin up, looks through the moon window. “Ah. It’s almost time. N-Now, I’ve been practicing so promise not to laugh if I screw it up a little.” 

“No,” Baekhyun promises, “I’d never laugh.” 

She clears her throat, hands folded softly in front of her. She lowers her head, saying a few words to herself before she looks up into Baekhyun’s eyes, deadly serious. 

“The moon sings for you,” she says, and the smallest hint of a smile creeps onto the corner of her mouth. “Will you listen to her song?"

“This night,” Baekhyun promises, “and all the rest of my nights.” 

She closes her eyes, and Baekhyun follows her, closes his eyes so tightly that he can practically see the stars dotting all the black. 

“Can you hear it?” she asks. “I can hear it clear as day now.” 

Baekhyun struggles to listen, struggles to hear the melody, but once he catches a single note, the music swells. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard, sweeter than any voice, and Baekhyun feels a tear drop from his closed eyes. 

Suddenly, without warning, he hears it. The bird. The bird… it’s so close to him. He opens his eyes, and the Listener’s eyes are open too, still white. Still… still herself. Baekhyun furrows his brow in confusion. He remembers before, remembers the way the moon took the Listener’s body, spoke through her. Eyes warm and brown like the earth. 

“_Baekhyun_,” her mouth says, but it is not his Noeul’s voice. It is not her voice at all. Intensely familiar, like a warm embrace. “_Baekhyun, do you remember me still?_” 

Her. Haru. 

“Yes, my lady,” Baekhyun says, another tear falling from his eye. “Yes, I remember.” 

“_That’s good to hear._” 

“W-What is this?” Baekhyun wonders. “Why am I here?” 

“_The moon told me to speak to you,_” Haru tells him. “_So here I am._” Noeul touches her own face, smiles. “_This girl. She is quite fond of you._” 

“I-I am equally fond of her,” Baekhyun says. “She is—” 

“_Your child_,” Haru says. “_Whether or not you believe it, she is truly yours._” 

“It doesn’t feel right to say it,” Baekhyun tells her. “When she had a mother, when she—” 

“_You guide her. You aid her in reaching her destiny. You help her become a better version of herself. If that isn’t parenthood, then what is, my child?_” 

Baekhyun struggles to answer the question, can’t find an answer, and he looks down long enough to drip a tear to his folded hands. 

“_Do not weep, my son_,” she says. “_I bring you good news._” 

His heart soars with the words, and he looks up into her white eyes, studies her appearance. She is Noeul through and through, but still, she speaks with the voice of his Listener. Can Noeul hear them? Or does she already know the good news? 

“Tell me,” Baekhyun says. 

“_So eager_,” the Listener laughs. 

“I-If it’s what I think it is…” 

“_And what do you think it is?_” she asks. 

“I’ve… I’ve just had my heat. The time is right,” he says carefully, cupping his hands in front of him as if he is begging for water. He stares at them. Stares at the lines. “I’ve been trying so hard to be… to be good. Surely, she sees that. That I’m good. That I’m not a bad person. If the moon chose to bestow her gift upon me, grow this pack by one more, then I promise, I’d…” 

“_Baekhyun_.” 

Baekhyun looks up into her eyes, sees her face twisted in concern. 

“_It is not a gift to be bestowed_,” she says sadly. “_You cannot earn this. It is not a matter of your goodness. You are not being punished._” 

Baekhyun looks back down at his hands, crestfallen. “I know. Forgive me.” 

“_You’ve done nothing wrong, so how could I forgive you?_” she laughs. “_You have so much love and life within you, and you want more than anything to spread that to others. You want to create as much as you can. Be as much as you can._”

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “I… I sometimes feel as if I’m too much. Like I’m not supposed to be as full as I am.” 

“_You must listen closely to what I’m about to say, do you understand?_” 

The serious tone of her voice makes him look up in fear, in anticipation. 

“_Baekhyun, the fullness of time looks upon you, and it smiles,_” she says, her pretty little face smiling too. “_You have stumbled upon the great condition, the thing that makes us all equal._” 

“What?” Baekhyun asks. “What is it?” 

“_The loneliness of the soul_.” 

“I-I’m not lonely,” Baekhyun tells her hurriedly, “I’m not, truly.” 

“_No, but still you yearn,_” she says, and she reaches across the fire, the act stunning and magical. “_Your soul craves connection, and when you are denied it, you believe yourself ungrateful, fundamentally broken. But the connection, the longing for it… that is what makes you part of something beautiful. The great secret, the secret no one shares?_” She smiles, bringing her hand back to her body. “_I’ll tell you. Everyone feels it, that yearning, and isn’t it very lovely, to be of something greater than yourself?_” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, happy tears in his eyes. “Yes, it is.” 

“_You are the salt of the earth_,” the Listener says, and Baekhyun’s heart soars inside him. “_The best of us. Remember. Even when it doesn’t feel true, you must remember. That alone will keep you on the path of goodness, the right ladder. So remember, my child. Always remember._” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “I will remember.” 

She breathes in, breathes out, and together, they look to the moon window. Their time is fading, and the two of them know it. She looks at him, smiles at him. 

“_The last challenge awaits you. Happy news, isn't it?_,” the Listener says. “_The last great challenge of your life. Will you rise to it, and remember your kindness even when it is difficult to recall?_” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “I promise.” 

“_And you remember the words I told you so long ago?_” the Listener asks. “_Let the love in. They will love you so dearly. They will need you along the way. Life is long and it is hard, and you will be the north star to so many. Shining brightly._” 

Baekhyun closes his eyes, lets the words settle comfortably on his shoulders. 

“I will let the love in,” he promises. “I swear.” 

“_Good_,” she smiles. “_That’s all I wanted to hear._”

“D-Do you have to leave now?” Baekhyun asks. 

“_The time has come._”

Baekhyun gets up quickly, goes to the girl, and hugs her. “Can you feel that?” 

It shocks a little laugh out of her, lovely and sweet. “_Yes, I can feel it._” 

“I love you,” Baekhyun says. “Don’t forget.” 

“_We sometimes try to pretend like it never happened, but we can never truly forget love,_” she says. 

Baekhyun smiles, and the moonlight from the window passes, and the little lady stirs, arms immediately coming to hug Baekhyun around the neck. 

“Are you sad?” she asks carefully. 

“How could I be sad?” Baekhyun asks. “I’ve got you.”  
  


☾

He walks back from the hut feeling torn in two different directions, at once lighter and heavier than before. The night is loud, buzzing with insects, and Baekhyun closes his eyes and stops for a moment, letting the sound surround him.

He moves slowly through the pack grounds, past the fire, through the wood to the cabins. Baekhyun walks in, and Junmyeon is standing by their fire, the kettle screaming. 

“H-How was it?” Junmyeon asks. 

Baekhyun is silent as he goes to him, throwing his arms around Junmyeon’s neck. He squeezes his eyes shut, and he allows himself one moment of weakness for another lost dream. He was ridiculous to think it. He’s known his fate for years now, and still… 

“I love you,” Junmyeon says. “I love you, I—” 

“I love you too,” Baekhyun says, and he sniffs against Junmyeon’s throat, a hand at the nape of his neck. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to be sorry.” 

“I do, I’m being… I’m being terrible,” Baekhyun says. “I thought maybe—”

“Maybe what?” 

“Maybe the moon would lift the curse on me,” Baekhyun mutters, feeling intensely silly in the moment. “Maybe she would see that I’ve become a good person, that I’m trying my very best to be good.” He pulls back, the tears sitting in his eyes. “Isn’t that terrible?” 

“No,” Junmyeon says, and he cups Baekhyun’s face in his hand. “No, it isn’t.” 

“It is,” Baekhyun says. “I’ve got you, I’ve got Noeul, I’ve got Chanyeol and Sehun and Minseok, and still… still, I sometimes think _I need more._” 

“Baekhyun…” 

“I know,” Baekhyun says. “Isn’t that selfish of me?” 

“You are just a _person_,” Junmyeon says softly. “And you went through something horrible at such a young age with no one to truly tell you that you were worth so much more.” 

“Junmyeon—” 

“Some fights are not won overnight, or even over the course of years,” Junmyeon says. “Some fights last our whole lives, and you are not terrible or silly or selfish.” 

Baekhyun shuts his eyes, rests his forehead against Junmyeon’s. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Baekhyun whispers. 

“You deserve the world,” Junmyeon says, and he presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek. “All of it and more.” 

“You are kind.” 

“I am honest.” 

“Honest and kind,” Baekhyun tells him. 

“Honest, and deeply in love with you,” Junmyeon responds. 

They go to bed in their nest of furs, and Baekhyun allows himself to be held in Junmyeon’s arms. They watch the night fall, and Baekhyun muses about his journey. If this is the worst thing to happen to him, he thinks, then he has a very good life. A very happy life.  
  


☾

After the first several days that he spends with his stomach and hands twisting, Baekhyun nearly forgets that there’s something left for him, something to be conquered. Life goes on, and the visit falls to the back of his mind as more important things present themselves.

They walk back from the hall, and Junmyeon goes on and on. 

“She won’t listen,” Junmyeon says. 

“Oh, listen to _yourself_,” Baekhyun says. “She’s the _Listener_, it’s in her blood to listen.” 

“I’m aware.” Junmyeon folds his arms across his chest. “She listens well to the moon, but is the moon her father?” 

Baekhyun sighs. “No.” 

“Is the moon tasked with keeping her safe?” 

“Not expressly,” Baekhyun says. 

“Then shouldn’t she ought to listen to me just as well, if not _better_ than the moon?” Junmyeon asks. 

Baekhyun sighs again. “She is growing. She is approaching a new phase in her life.” 

“I don’t want to hear this,” Junmyeon says stubbornly. “A daughter should always listen to her father.” 

“You’re being insane,” Baekhyun accuses. 

“She shouldn’t be running around with boys,” Junmyeon says. 

“Why not?” Baekhyun asks. “It’s not as if she ever intends to _bond_ with them.” 

Junmyeon wrinkles his nose cutely, and Baekhyun surges forward to pull him to a stop, to kiss him fiercely. Sometimes, he is just too beautiful for his own good, and even if they disagree on something, Baekhyun knows they can always find the common ground between them. 

“She’s a very precocious child,” Junmyeon says, and he says it like he can’t figure out whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing as he gathers Baekhyun up in his arms. 

“And she is the most mature among all the pups,” Baekhyun says. “Which is why she was tasked with her current occupation.” 

Junmyeon sighs. “I know.” 

Baekhyun pats him on the back. “There you are.” 

“Oh, don’t patronize me,” Junmyeon says. “You _saw_ the way they were sniffing around her at the feast.” 

“Well, she is a very pretty girl, and she’s also very important,” Baekhyun says. “And at least one of those things is because of you.” 

Junmyeon huffs a breath. “Don’t distract me with compliments.” 

“Is it working, Alpha?” 

“_Is it working, Alpha?_” Junmyeon mocks, but he litters the side of Baekhyun’s face with kisses before he pulls him off by the hand back to the cabin.  
  


☾

Baekhyun always breaks fast with the Listener and after his work with the gatherers, he goes to the hut to aid her however she might need. Sometimes, that proves to be a trying time for him.

“Baekhyun, fetch me the lavender oil,” the little lady commands, waving her hand at him. 

“I’m not your servant, you know,” Baekhyun says, but he goes to her little apothecary drawers and grabs the vial anyhow. 

“We are _all_ servants,” she says, and she throws her braid over her shoulder as she grins at him. “Servants of the moon.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Baekhyun scoffs, and he tosses her the bottle before sitting down opposite her. “You’re very wise, aren’t you?” 

She snatches the bottle out of the air, and she pours a couple drops into her mortar happily. “Exceedingly so,” she says. “And I only grow in wisdom as the moon rises and falls.”

“Oh, moon help us all.” 

She throws her head back with a twinkling laugh, the light, fleeting laughter of a bird’s song, and Baekhyun smiles at her, watches her work. 

“Lady, are you… are you happy?” 

“What do you mean?” she asks, working the oil into her mixture with the pestle. 

“Just as I asked,” Baekhyun says. “Are you happy?” 

She stares up at him with a smile. “Why wouldn’t I be happy, silly?” 

“Ah,” Baekhyun nods. “That’s good to hear.” 

“Well, then I’m glad to have said it,” she grins before looking back down at her concoction. “Baekhyun. The sweet orange peel, please.” 

He groans, pushing up off the ground to head back over to the collection of ingredients.  
  


☾

On pleasant nights, the five of them take her for a run up and down the river, and after, once they’ve worked up a sweat, they swim together.

They play keep away from the little lady, they race up and back to see who is the fastest swimmer, and Sehun and Chanyeol often end up splashing them all as they wrestle in the water. 

Baekhyun smells something curious on their scents, something he can’t quite put his finger on, but he shakes it away, knowing that if it’s a problem, it will confront him when it needs dealing with. _No sense in worrying about it until it needs to be worried about._

They dry themselves off in the middle of the dark blue night, and together, they walk the Listener back to her hut, seeing her inside with warm embraces. 

“Thank you,” she smiles. “See you all tomorrow.” 

They bow to her, one right after another, and they watch the red curtain part to make way for her. They head off after, back to the cabins, and when it comes time to part, the moon watches high overhead as they say their goodbyes. 

That evening, Junmyeon pours them honey wine, some of Sehun’s parents latest yield, and they share it under the moon. 

Baekhyun feels a pleasant lightness swim to his head, and they hold each other in a comfortable embrace as they stare up at the stars and the goddess they serve. 

“I love you,” Baekhyun says. 

“I love you too,” Junmyeon whispers. “Shall we head to bed?” 

“In a moment,” Baekhyun says, and he tightens his hold around Junmyeon. “It’s a very pleasant night.” 

“It is,” Junmyeon smiles, and he presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s forehead, squeezing him in his arms. “Very pleasant, indeed.”  
  


☾

The next day, Sehun pulls him aside when he is working in the field, and Baekhyun tilts his head to the side.

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun asks. “Aren’t you to be off somewhere? Working?” 

“Yes, but I asked permission to come to you,” Sehun says. “I didn’t see you at breakfast.” 

“We’ve been eating with the Listener,” Baekhyun says. “You could always join us.” 

“P-Perhaps we may.” 

“So…” 

“So…” 

“So what are you _here_ for?” Baekhyun asks. “Are you just going to stare at me until high noon?” 

“No, no, I… well, Junmyeon will be working this evening, correct?” Sehun asks. 

“They’re building a bridge,” Baekhyun nods. “Didn’t Chanyeol mention?” 

“Chanyeol won’t be there.” 

“Why not?” 

“He asked permission to have the evening off,” Sehun answers. 

“Why?” 

“So that we could talk to you,” Sehun smiles. “Would that be okay?” 

“You could speak to me now,” Baekhyun says even as the anticipation and adrenaline surges within his stomach. He folds his arms across his chest as he puffs it out. “What do you have to talk to me about?” 

“It’s very important that we talk to you _tonight_.” 

_The last great trial_, Baekhyun thinks. _Shall I face it this evening?_

“All right,” Baekhyun says, and he lowers his arms. “Tonight.” 

“Thank you,” Sehun says, and he moves with a terrible glee, picking Baekhyun up in his arms and pressing a wet kiss to his cheek. 

“Enough, enough,” Baekhyun says, but he bursts into laughter, making Sehun spin him around in a circle before setting him back down. Baekhyun brushes down his linen shirt, fixing his hair. “Now, back to work with you. I won’t be having you use _my name_ as an excuse for your lazy tendencies.” 

Sehun runs off, and Baekhyun smiles, watching him run across the field like a little puppy. Sehun turns back a moment later, a bright white grin on his face. 

“Just after sundown,” Sehun says, and he jogs backwards, smiling like a fool. “We won’t take long, I promise!” 

Baekhyun waves him away, and after Sehun’s visage has disappeared from sight, he holds his hand up to his brow, shielding himself from the sun. Whatever it is, he tells himself, it will not break him.  
  


☾

Baekhyun washes in the river on his own when he is done in the field, and he walks to the Listener’s hut, listening to the sound of the birds. He ignores the feeling in his stomach, and he spends the rest of the afternoon, the early evening spending his time with the little lady. She seems to pick up on his nervousness because she is extra sweet to him, and together, they walk to the flower field to make crowns. She places his on his head, and he smiles up at her, laying his braid over his shoulder deliberately. They walk back to the hut, and they sit, share a cup of tea together.

“You look very handsome,” she says, and she nods like she’s proud of her work. 

“Thank you very much, little lady,” Baekhyun says. 

“My father will come by after he’s finished with the builders, won’t he?” she asks. 

“He will,” Baekhyun says. 

“So then run along,” she says, dismissing him with a casual flick of her hand. “I’ve got much to do this evening.” 

“Oh, have you?” 

“I have to prepare the powders,” she says, gesturing to three clay pots. “I’ve got my first visit with a pup tonight.” 

“Do you?” Baekhyun asks. “But you’re…” 

“What?” she asks, hands on her hips. “Am I too young?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’ll tell on you.” 

“To whom?” Baekhyun laughs. 

“To the _moon_, who else?” 

Baekhyun gathers her in a hug, and just as the sun begins to set in the sky, he walks home on his own. 

He puts the flower crown down on the center of the table as soon as he walks in, and he waits for their knock that comes only a couple moments later. 

“Are we welcome?” Chanyeol asks, pounding his fist on the door. “Are we allowed in?” 

“Are you decent?” Sehun asks. 

Baekhyun throws open the door, glares at them. 

“Well, you look decent enough,” Minseok says, bowing his head. “May we come in?” 

Baekhyun steps aside, and he lets the three of them into the cabin. They file in, one right after another, and Baekhyun watches as they take their seats around his table, Chanyeol fiddling nervously with Baekhyun’s flower crown. 

“All right,” Baekhyun says, and he folds his hands on top of the wood, leaning forward. “Should we just get this over with?” 

“Shouldn’t we… I don’t know, talk a bit first?” Chanyeol asks. 

“What should we talk about, then?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Oh, this is silly,” Sehun says, and he squints. “I am… well, there’s no easy way to say it, so forgive me.” 

“And me,” Chanyeol says. 

“Forgive all of us,” Minseok says, and he puts his hands on the back of Sehun and Chanyeol’s neck and pulls them into a little bow. 

“What have you done that needs forgiving?” Baekhyun asks. “What terrible crime have you committed?” 

“Well, I suppose the crime was love,” Minseok smiles, and they sit up straight. Minseok looks at Baekhyun, bows his head again. 

“Just say it,” Baekhyun says boredly. 

“We are expecting a pup,” Sehun says, and he folds his hands across his stomach. 

“_Two_ pups,” Chanyeol says, glaring at Sehun before turning his smile at Baekhyun, mirroring Sehun, hands braced across his own stomach. “I-It’s taken us all by surprise, I assure you.” 

“Y-You’re expecting two pups,” Baekhyun says. 

“I know that it’s a bit of a shock, so if you need some time to process the information, if you need to think things over, then we totally understand,” Minseok says, and he looks between Chanyeol and Sehun before elbowing them both gently. 

“Ouch,” Sehun mutters. “What?” 

“Yes, what have we done?” Chanyeol asks. 

“We understand, _right_?” Minseok says. 

“Oh, yes,” Sehun says. 

“Of course, we understand,” Chanyeol smiles. 

It would be a lie to say that Baekhyun hasn’t thought about this day. He worried over whether or not he would feel jealousy, whether or not he’d covet what they had. He was terrified that perhaps, he would let it drive a wedge in between them, let it decimate a friendship that he’s had since he was just a pup himself. He was nervous, and so mostly, he tried not to think about it. 

Baekhyun stands there, and for a moment, he doesn’t know what the building feeling inside him is, but when it reaches his throat and starts to bubble out of him in a laugh, he realizes that, thankfully, wonderfully, it is _joy_.

“Are you lying?” he asks happily. “It’s very bad to tell lies.” 

“No,” Sehun says, squinting. “Are you happy?” 

“Yes, of course I’m happy,” Baekhyun says, and he pulls Sehun into his embrace over the table top, arms around his neck. “How could I be anything _but_ happy?” He quickly disengages, grabs Chanyeol, and hugs him just the same. “You are… you are my best friends, the best friends I’ve ever had, the friends I’ve had since I was young, and you’re… you’re expecting pups! Together!” 

“That’s right,” Chanyeol says, and he squeezes Baekhyun in his arms. “We are.” 

Baekhyun smiles, lets his eyes fall closed as he lets the feelings wash over him. Relief. Love. Happiness. _Pups_, he thinks, giddy. _Let their love in._

They embrace until the realization hits Baekhyun squarely.

“Oh, moon,” Baekhyun says. “Where are my manners?” 

“You never had many to begin with,” Sehun mutters, and Baekhyun narrows his eyes, swats him on the arm. 

“Hey,” Sehun squawks. “You can’t do that anymore. I’m _with child_.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, goes to make the tea. He pours for the three of them, and he bows to each of them as the cups rest on the table. Once the tea is cool enough to drink, he holds the cup in his hand, lifts it to Sehun’s mouth first. He tilts the cup back as Sehun takes a small sip, and Baekhyun lowers the cup back to the table before grabbing the next, doing the same for Chanyeol and Minseok in turn. After Baekhyun’s fed them all their first sip, he bows his head again, and the three of them laugh, shaking as they smile. 

They drink their tea in joyous noise, and Baekhyun relaxes into his seat as he watches the three of them speak. He found Chanyeol and Sehun when he was young, Minseok and Junmyeon when he was older. Now, he thinks he’ll be able to live comfortably. Now, it feels as though he’s met his whole family. 

When the night grows long, Junmyeon returns, and the three of them, Baekhyun and Junmyeon and Minseok, drink together, sweet wine that tastes like dessert. Baekhyun does not indulge much, only enough to feel his head go light, and it earns him envious glares from the other two omegas. 

At the very end of the night, they step into the cold evening air, the moon shining cool blue. They embrace, and Baekhyun breathes in their scent, all mixed and mingled and married. 

When he pulls back from Chanyeol’s arms, Chanyeol stares down at him like he’s trying to work up courage. Baekhyun squints at him. 

“What?” 

“We had something to ask you,” Chanyeol says, and he looks to Sehun. “Should… should I ask?” 

Sehun looks at Minseok. “Maybe…?” 

“We’d like you to be their moon guardian,” Minseok says, smiling at Baekhyun. “We know it’s an important decision to make, so we don’t intend to rush you on making it, but we don’t know a better wolf than you, and we know that you will be there for them every step of the way.” 

Baekhyun looks at Junmyeon, and Junmyeon rests his hand along the small of Baekhyun’s back, a small comfort. 

Baekhyun looks down at his hands, the tears welling in his eyes. A moon guardian… for two little pups. Meant to hold them and keep them, protect them and raise them up, help them along their journey whenever, however he can. 

Baekhyun looks up at them, and together, their brows knit. 

“There will be no hard feelings,” Minseok assures him. “If you choose not to.” 

“How could I say no?” Baekhyun says, voice strung so tight with emotion that he thinks he might truly cry. “How, when I’ve seen the two of you grow?” Baekhyun looks between Sehun and Chanyeol, taking their hands in his. “When we have come so far?” 

“We love you,” Chanyeol says softly. “We always want you to be with us.” 

“I’ll always be here,” Baekhyun says. “I promise.” 

“Then you agree to it?” Sehun asks, and his face is alight with childlike joy. “Truly?” 

“For all the rest of my days,” Baekhyun says, “I will keep your children in the light of the moon.” 

The two of them pull on Baekhyun’s hands, dragging him from Junmyeon, and the three of them crush him in an embrace. Baekhyun finally bursts, the tears slipping out as he rests his forehead on Minseok’s shoulder, the omegas tightening their hold on him. 

The last great trial, he thinks to himself, was not such a terrible trial after all. Life is very easy once you let yourself be loved. Life is much more beautiful when you allow yourself to be loved as you love others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emotions are hard to control and sometimes very hard to predict. whenever i think about big things happening to me, i always think to myself "what if i don't respond the right way? what if suddenly, i feel something i don't expect to feel?" i don't know if this is a universal thing or not, but it's something i think about often. 
> 
> anyway, here we are. just one chapter left, something of an epilogue. i hope you enjoyed, even if it's not what you wanted/expected. 
> 
> i can't believe we're almost at the end. i'm so thankful that you've been following along. thanks again. 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


	16. in seven years time

_epilogue☆_  


Each morning, Baekhyun takes the pups for their walk.

“Baekhyun,” Seoa says, and she looks up at Baekhyun with her little twin braids, her big brown eyes, “my feet hurt.” 

“We’ve only just begun,” Baekhyun laughs. “How could they hurt already?” 

“She’s silly,” Doyun says stiffly. 

“I’m not _silly_, Seoa says, and she points around Baekhyun’s body, “_you’re_ silly.” 

“No bickering,” Baekhyun scolds them. 

“You always get us _yelled_ at,” Doyun says, and he tugs on Baekhyun’s hand, making Baekhyun look down at him. The pups look nearly identical, but Doyun’s ears peak out from underneath his hair, and Seoa’s brow is stronger. “When you tell our fathers about this—” 

“He’s not going to _tell_,” Seoa says, and she too tugs on Baekhyun’s hand. “Right? We’ve been good.” 

“We’ve been out of the house for only a moment,” Baekhyun laughs. 

“But you won’t tell if we’re bad, right?” Seoa asks. “_Right?_

Baekhyun sighs, and she cheers in response. Immediately she pulls away from him, takes off for the trees. He raises his voice for a moment before he sees her shift, a little brown spotted wolf making for the forest. 

“I thought her feet hurt,” Baekhyun snorts. 

“She’s very willful,” Doyun says like he’s trying to act older than he is, but when he looks up at Baekhyun, his big brown eyes plead and beg for permission. 

“Go on,” Baekhyun smiles. 

Doyun grins up at him, lets go of his hand before leaping into his wolf. He looks much the same as Seoa, but he’s got a stripe of black down his spine as he yips into the air. 

They’ve got so much energy, Baekhyun figures they need some extra exercise. He shifts into his wolf, chases after them. Maybe he’ll direct them towards the river. At the very least, he reasons, they’ll be washed.  
  


☾

After the kids are dried and clean, hair only a little messier than when they left the house, he corrals them to the schoolhouse, Seoa on his back, Doyun walking dutifully beside them.

“Oh, but I _hate_ sewing,” Seoa complains, and she tightens her arms around his neck a little tighter. “I want to do what father does.” 

“You must be more specific,” Baekhyun says. “Which father?”

“_Father_ father, not Papa,” Seoa says. “I want to hunt.” 

“My daddy is your daddy too,” Doyun says, and he steps forward, raising his leg to attempt to kick her foot where it dangles. He is still a little clumsy, so he ends up stumbling, and it makes Seoa giggle. 

“It’s too hard to keep track,” Baekhyun huffs. “I’ll have you know that your pack structure is highly unusual.” He looks over his shoulder at Seoa. “You’re too young to hunt.” 

“Father says he started at seven,” Seoa says. 

“Then, you’ve got another whole summer to go,” Baekhyun smiles, and she kicks him in the side. “Ow. Enough of that.” 

“What?” she asks, and Baekhyun can hear the smile in his ear. “I didn’t do anything.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, and he lowers her to the ground, makes sure she smoothes her clothing out so the rest of the pack has nothing to gossip about. 

“And remember, Papa will walk you home after school is over,” Baekhyun says. “Be good, else he’ll hear about it.” 

The mention of Minseok is always enough to make them stand a little straighter, and Baekhyun wonders why that is. Sure, he disciplines them, but he’s got that quiet sort of disappointment. Baekhyun was never a big fan of that when he was a child, so he supposes that might play a part. 

He waves the pups off, and then, he heads to the Listener. 

She is sitting by her fire, a book open in her lap, and she barely looks up at him. It is unbelievable, the way she’s grown. She is more beautiful with every passing moon, blooming like a flower under the summer sun. Her hair is long, black, and shiny, perennially waved from sleeping in braids. Her features are as fine as her father’s, her white eyes striking as they are framed by full black lashes and black brows. Each special day, she wears a crown of flowers, and on the table, he observes the crown for that evening. Lavender, sleeping violets, blood red roses weaved into a circle. He smiles at it. Purple and red. Life. 

“Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to greet me?” the Listener asks, not raising her chin, but cocking a brow. 

“Am I to bow, your highness?” Baekhyun asks, vaguely unimpressed. 

“Everyone else bows,” she shrugs, and she shuts her book with an eager smile. “How are you, Papa?” 

It’s been six years since she started calling Baekhyun that, and even now, it makes Baekhyun’s heart stop within his chest. He wondered, at the very beginning, if he deserved the title, but now, he cannot imagine it any other way. 

“I’m well,” Baekhyun says. 

“And the pups?” 

“You can tell they’re nervous,” Baekhyun says. “They wanted to run.” 

“And you let them.” She says it as if it’s a given, and Baekhyun feels like it garners some judgement. 

“Well, yes,” Baekhyun says, and he sits down beside her, combing his fingers through her hair to erase some of the tangles. “I thought it wise.” 

“Because?” 

“Because it can be scary,” Baekhyun says. “You wouldn’t know.” 

“I’ve sat for nearly a hundred moon songs now,” the little lady tells him, but she is not so little anymore, very nearly grown, a young woman before him. “I know.” 

“Yes, but you haven’t sat on the other side of the fire, now have you?” Baekhyun says smartly. “You haven’t listened to the song from your own lips?”

“No, I suppose not,” she says, and she looks at the fire before looking up at him. “But the moon talks to me most often.” 

“Yes, yes, you’re very special,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, and she laughs, leaping forward to crush him in a hug. “What’s this for, then?” 

“The moon told me you were in need of a hug,” she says, and Baekhyun takes it, closes his eyes as he tightens his hold around her. 

“Don’t lie to me,” Baekhyun says, and he rakes his hand through her hair, holds her to him.

“I do not lie,” she says, and Baekhyun can hear the smile in his ear. “I only listen.”  
  


☾

Baekhyun waits for Junmyeon to return.

His eyes are tired, but he smiles when he sees Baekhyun. 

“My love,” he whispers. “I’ve missed you.” 

Baekhyun scrunches his nose as he crosses the room, and he takes Junmyeon in his arms. “You are a needy alpha, aren’t you?” 

“Rut is coming,” Junmyeon says, and he snuggles into Baekhyun’s space, nose by Baekhyun’s neck. “Mm. You smell good.” 

“I smell like dirt,” Baekhyun says. 

“I love the smell of the earth on you.” Junmyeon kisses Baekhyun’s neck, and Baekhyun shuts his eyes, tilts his head back to give Junmyeon more room to work. “Mm. Do they need us at the feast?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun laughs, and he shoves Junmyeon away from him. “This is very important for the pups, you know.” 

“I know, I know,” Junmyeon says, and he crowds back into Baekhyun’s space. “Just a moment longer.” 

Baekhyun folds Junmyeon up in his embrace, and he brushes the tip of his nose up the column of Junmyeon’s throat. “We won’t miss it, Alpha, and I won’t trigger an early rut.” 

“But wouldn’t it be fun?” Junmyeon teases, and his hands at the small of Baekhyun’s back slip down, framing his ass. “Wouldn’t it be _terribly_ fun?” 

“Who are you, and what have you done with my uptight, responsible bondmate?” Baekhyun whispers, and he kisses the curve of Junmyeon’s ear, pushing their bodies so close together that it makes Junmyeon moan. 

“Don’t torture me,” Junmyeon whispers. “Don’t give me a hint of something you don’t intend to give fully.” 

“Later, my love,” Baekhyun promises, and when he pulls back, Junmyeon stares at him like he himself hung the moon in the sky. Baekhyun cannot help himself as he kisses Junmyeon passionately, all of the emotions and all of the years behind it. 

“How do you expect me not to keep you here when you kiss me like that?” Junmyeon smiles, hazy and lovely. 

“With great difficulty,” Baekhyun says, and he leans in for another kiss, this one shorter, but no less full of love. “We’ve got time for a cup of wine before the festivities.” 

“I’d rather stay here and have my fill of you,” Junmyeon says, and his hand slips up to cover the mark on the back of Baekhyun’s neck. “Does that please you?” 

It has been many years, but Baekhyun is just as in love with Junmyeon as he’s always been. Things change, the days grow long and then short, and if the only thing that remains in the shifting world is their love, then Baekhyun considers himself the luckiest wolf ever held by the moon.  
  


☾

The feast in the pups honor is magnificent. Baekhyun fills up on roast duck, drizzled with maple and orange, mashes of purple and yellow potatoes, pancakes filled with red bean and sesame. There are skewers of barbecued meat and vegetables, platters of cold-marinated vegetables and salads, and there is a bowl of workberry candy that the pups circle hungrily. They drink their fill, ales and wines, juices and teas, and water sweetened with candied citrus for everyone else. Seoa and Doyun wear the crowns, and they play with the rest of the pups, running and laughing and making fun. Sehun and Chanyeol argue over which should go first, and Minseok drinks with Junmyeon, trying to ignore the squabbling.

Occasionally, Baekhyun looks up to where the Listener sits, and he watches her. 

She has come so far. She does not need him to watch over her now. Still, he watches her. Makes sure that all is well. 

She looks up from her plate, and she shoots him a little smile, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. She tilts her head to the side, waves him up, and Baekhyun looks at the table. 

“Doyun is five days older than her,” Sehun says. “It’s only fair.” 

“Have you spoken to Doyun?” Chanyeol asks. “No, you haven’t. You care for Seoa first and foremost.” 

“Oh, not again,” Sehun says. “A baseless claim that I’ve proven false.”

“You can’t _prove_ something true or false with a wrestling match,” Chanyeol says. “And besides, you _cheated_.” 

“There weren’t any official rules, so tickling was a valid strategy.” 

“Coward,” Chanyeol mutters.

“Let the pups decide,” Minseok says boredly. “I thought we’d settled this.” 

“The alpha’s spoken,” Junmyeon says, and he lifts his cup to his mouth before looking over at Baekhyun. “What?” 

“I’m going to speak to the Listener,” Baekhyun says. 

“All right,” Junmyeon says, and he leans over, presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek. “Fetch me another cup of wine on the way back?” 

“Keep your wits about you,” Baekhyun says, and he strokes his fingers along Junmyeon’s cheek, down the slope of his neck over the scar of their bond. Junmyeon’s breath catches, and as Baekhyun turns, he winks, knowing what’s in store for him much, much later in the evening. 

He feels strong, sure of himself as he crosses the hall. He bows before the Listener, and he waits for her to call his name. 

“Hello, Papa,” she says, and she bows her head a little. “How are you enjoying your evening?” 

“Well enough,” Baekhyun says. “Are you well prepared for the visit?” 

She narrows her eyes at Baekhyun, says, “You don’t always have to check. You’re nearly as overprotective as Father.” 

“With good reason,” Baekhyun says, and he reaches out over the table, takes her hand in his. “Make sure they’re well cared for.” 

“You know that I will,” the Listener assures him, and she squeezes his hand in hers. “Why are you so nervous, I wonder?” 

“No reason,” Baekhyun says primly. 

The Listener looks at him wryly, a pretty little smile on her face. “You smell of fear.” 

“I smell of dignity and honor.” 

“What are you scared of, Papa?” the Listener asks. 

“I’m not scared,” Baekhyun says. “I’m just… I’m concerned.” 

The Listener looks him over, and she gives his hand a pat, an act of comfort that he remembers from Haru. He closes his eyes, composes himself before looking into her eyes. She has always been wise, but as she approaches her adulthood, she grows with every sun. 

“All will be well,” she tells him. “Right?” 

Baekhyun breathes in, breathes out. “Right, right.” 

“Then enjoy the feast with a light heart,” she says, and she points over towards the table. Baekhyun looks back, sees the omegas waving him over. “I believe you’re needed.” 

Baekhyun winces, turns back to the Listener. “Can’t I stay a little while longer? It’s quieter here.” 

“Go,” she smiles. “I’ll see you tonight.” 

Baekhyun furrows his brow in confusion, but he goes, wanders back to the table where he finds the alphas and the omegas staring at him. He takes his seat, and Junmyeon slings an arm around his neck. Baekhyun finds it easy to lean into the warmth. 

“What was so imperative?” Baekhyun asks. 

Minseok gestures to Chanyeol. 

“We were just talking about this evening,” Chanyeol begins. 

“And?” Baekhyun asks.

“We talked it over,” Sehun says. 

“And?” 

“And we think you should escort them,” Chanyeol smiles. “If you’re okay with it.” 

Baekhyun falls open in surprise as he looks to the head table, sees the Listener waving at him eagerly. 

“M-Me?” Baekhyun asks. “Traditionally, it’s—”

Minseok leans forward in his seat, laces his hand with Sehun’s and then with Chanyeol’s. “We’ve never been traditional.” He smiles at Baekhyun. “If you’d do us the honor…” 

“I-I’m their moon guardian,” Baekhyun says. “It’s _my_ honor.” He moves around the table, kneels before them, and the three of them split into a laugh that makes him stand up with a glare. “What’s so _funny_?” 

“You take your responsibilities very seriously,” Minseok smiles. “And we thank you for that.” 

Baekhyun bites his lip, looks around the hall, and he spots the pups running with their friends. His heart pulls in his chest as they spot him and wave. 

“What if they’re scared?” Baekhyun asks. “What if they want you instead?” 

“We asked them who they wanted to walk them,” Sehun says. 

Chanyeol folds his arms across his chest. “_Apparently_, you’re a great comfort to them.” 

Baekhyun feels tears jump to his eyes, and he coughs out a laugh. “I’ll never let you live it down, you know.” 

“No, I figured not,” Chanyeol sighs. “I figured not.”  
  


☾

The night is dark and deep, and he holds both their hands in his, Seoa at his left and Doyun at his right. Junmyeon, Minseok, Chanyeol, and Sehun all wait back at the cabin, glasses of wine in their hands.

For the first time in his life, he feels as if he belongs here, holding their hands. For this first time, he feels as if he’s earned this spot, earned this place in the pack’s tradition. He holds their hands tight, and when they approach the hut, he smells their fear spike. 

“Now, now,” he says gently. “It’s nothing to be afraid of.” 

“I’m not afraid,” Seoa says. 

“I’m not afraid either,” Doyun agrees.

“Don’t lie, Papa had to rock you to sleep last night,” Seoa argues. 

“I told you not to _tell_ anyone,” Doyun screeches, and it breaks up the cold blue of the evening, the magic that swirls in the air. 

Baekhyun throws his head back and he laughs, the sound echoing overhead. 

“You know the Lady, don’t you?” Baekhyun says. “You know that she’s kind.” 

“She’s all right,” Seoa says. 

“She’s _scary_,” Doyun says. 

“How is she scary, pup?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Her eyes,” Doyun says. 

“Ah, but are you scared of the moon?” Baekhyun asks. 

Doyun looks down at his feet as they walk. “No.” 

“She is filled with moonlight,” Baekhyun says. “She is the child of the broken sun. Her eyes are white because she is wise and kind and she wants to help you.” 

“What about when she threw my shoe into the river?” Seoa asks. “That wasn’t helpful.” 

“Were you being sour?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Only a _little_.” 

“Can I tell you both a secret?” Baekhyun asks. The pups nod eagerly, and he squeezes their hands in his. “Although she may look grown, she is still a pup herself.” 

“Her? The _Listener_?” Doyun says. “She is _not_ a pup.” 

“It is true. She is still shy of eighteen summers,” Baekhyun says. “And believe it or not, but I held her much the same as I held you. New to the world.” 

“Oh, you’re _old_,” Seoa says, and Baekhyun looks down at her and squints. “Sorry, Baekhyun.” 

“Ah, but it’s true,” Baekhyun says. “I think I’m old now.” 

“But you’re funny,” Doyun says. “Old people aren’t funny.” 

“What about your father?” Baekhyun asks. 

“He’s not funny, he’s _silly_,” Doyun answers. 

“And the difference is striking,” Baekhyun answers, but as he finishes the thought, they approach the hut, the red curtain blowing in the wind. “All right. It is time.” 

“I don’t want to go,” Doyun says. “I don’t want to.” 

“I know,” Baekhyun says. “But this is the way.” 

“We could find a different way,” Doyun suggests. 

“This is the way you will choose,” Baekhyun says. “But… tonight, it is easy. No song. Just visions in the flames.” 

“Not it,” Doyun quickly says, and he immediately pulls his hand away from Baekhyun’s, waving at his sister. “Good luck, sister.” 

She stares up at Baekhyun. “This isn’t fair.” 

“Life often isn’t fair,” Baekhyun says. 

“Papa says that,” Seoa says with disdain. 

“And your Papa is right,” Baekhyun agrees. 

It does little to quell the fear inside her, and Baekhyun knows that. He kneels before her, takes her tiny face in his hands. Her eyes are bright with life, and she smells of milk. 

“Once upon a time, I was in your same shoes,” Baekhyun says, and he strokes his thumb across her cheek before taking her small hands in his. “I was standing right here, and I was dreading going in.” 

“That’s different,” Seoa says, and she looks off towards the woods as if she’s planning her escape. “You’re different.” 

“I’m no different than you,” Baekhyun tells her. “And back then, I didn’t know my Listener. I didn’t spend time with her or love her as you’ve loved yours.” 

It catches her, makes her look up at him. “Really?” 

“Really,” Baekhyun says. “I was so scared.” 

“What happened?” Seoa asks. “What did you see?” 

“She threw the powders into the fire, and she saw my life as the moon thought it might unfold.” He looks up to the white moon, and he can see the glittering magic begin to surround her. He looks into Seoa’s eyes, sees Sehun in her, sees his stubbornness, but sees his gentle heart beneath. “It was very scary, but it was over quickly. The really beautiful thing, of course, that’ll be the moon song. But you won’t hear her song until you’re sixteen summers.” 

“Did it all come true? The moon’s song for you?” she asks, eyes wide, not with fear now, but with intrigue. With excitement. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “Every word.” 

“And it was happy?” Seoa asks. 

“Not all of it,” Baekhyun smiles. “But I would not change it now. Not for a moment.” 

Seoa stares at him like he’s crazy, and he smiles as he knocks his forehead against hers, a hand braced on the back of her neck. She smells like powder, like childhood, like joy. 

“Be a brave girl, all right? Be brave for your brother,” Baekhyun smiles, and he presses a kiss to her cheek. “We will be here waiting.” 

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll be brave.” 

She turns to the red curtain of the hut, and when she steps inside, they are nearly bowled over by the wafting scent of eucalyptus, sweet orange, lavender. The light from inside the hut is warm and orange in the middle of the dark blue night, and Baekhyun gets up, rests his hands on Doyun’s shoulders. 

“If she comes out crying, I’m not going in,” Doyun tells him. 

Baekhyun laughs lightly, and together, they watch as the red smoke rises from the top of the Listener’s hut. 

“The moon will keep you both,” Baekhyun assures him. “And so will I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah. it's been almost seven months to the day that i posted the first chapter of this story, and now it's finally finished. isn't that something? 
> 
> i know no one likes it when the writer waxes poetic, but i've spent a good portion of my time with these characters now and it feels like i ought to devote a little bit of time to them now. 
> 
> when i was devising this story, i was fascinated by the idea of salting the earth vs the biblical "salt of the earth". i still think this idea is so fucking fascinating, the idea of infertile earth vs fundamental, honest goodness. i dont know. i dont know that i always want my stories to be so moralistic, but the themes in this one needed to be clear. you are more than what your body can do. family is something you choose. your soul, your kindness, your empathy and your compassion and your resiliency in the face of great struggle... these are the things about you that are most important. these are the things that draw people to you. i wanted this to be a meaningful story about found family, about healing, about self worth. i hope i did something close to that. 
> 
> if you've followed along from the beginning and you've been encouraging me the whole way, please know that you were instrumental in me finishing this story. your kindness and generosity of spirit are like..... the juniper berries in my vodka, baby. you are what make this story what it is. it's infused with you, with your energy and with your love. 
> 
> to the harem, thank you all for giving me my frenetic, chaotic inertia. i wouldn't be half the person i am now without you guys. love you all so much. 
> 
> i've run out of things to say. i kinda can't believe it's over? it feels very surreal. i'm vamping. i'm vamping. ah. Tearing up now. how pathetical. 
> 
> uh, if you like this content, i've got lots more. maybe check something out? i dont know. maybe follow me on twitter. maybe send me an anonymous question. i love attention. i hope you enjoyed. thank you again. 
> 
> and so for the last time for salted earth and from the bottom of my big mushy heart, thank you for reading. i'll see you again real soon♡
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/okamiwind) | [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/okamiwind)


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